Was hoping not to get depressed this year....

[jenscats5]

But it's setting in.....I just feel like crying & I've held off.....maybe if I did I would feel better.

Christmas is very hard for me as my grandmother died 12/15, my mom on 12/7 and my dad on 12/24 (also his b-day), all different years. I don't have any siblings.

I'm trying to feel better that I have a great husband & step-daughter = new family, but I'm still sad.

Any thoughts on how to cheer up?

 

[RottenWillow]

Since you've had so many loses in december jen you might always get down this time of the year. You know it might unfortunately be sort of unavoidable to a degree.

But that doesnt mean you cant lift yourself up though. I'd say try doing things you love, especially stuff related to christmas, like listening to x-mas music, driving around looking at lights etc. Whatever you like to do. And as for your loses, maybe just celebrate your time with them?
Look at pictures of your parents and laugh and feel happy about all the good times you were able to share with them.

 

[jenscats5]

Good ideas, Anya. I try to do all that stuff but I still get depressed every year. I guess I can't avoid it, but some day I hope to just be able to enjoy the season.

Thank you for your concern...

 

[RottenWillow]

How long has it been since you lost them Jen?

 

[Shak]

i'm sorry to hear that jen -

how old is your step daughter? perhaps you can focus on making the holidays special for her and that will take your mind of some of the hurt. if you see her happy & excited, i think it will bring some happiness to you too.

 

[jenscats5]

My step daughter is 17, so she's more into doing stuff with her friends & all, but I still try to make it special for my hubby & her.

I lost my grandmother back in high school, so it's been a while there. My dad was 4 years ago now & my mom was 6.

It's funny (not ha ha funny) that every year I say I won't get upset then I do anyway.

I just went to the grocery store & they were playing Xmas music & I teared up in the store cuz of the song they were playing....

So, I'm going to go right now & visit a friend to take my mind off things....

 

[lucidblue]

Sorry to hear that you're getting depressed Jen... it's hard. I still get depressed a lot b/c I miss my grandmother and great aunt & uncle (like grandparents). They were 3 of my closest family members and they died in 95, 96 and 97. It's rough during the holidays. I still have a large family and lots of brothers and a sister, but it's just not the same. Hope you feel better. I try to think that they wouldn't want me sad during the holidays, but I can't help it. I've found it helps a little bit to take one day during the holidays and watch videos and look at photos and try to remember lots of memories... have a good cry all day long and then I'm a llittle less sad the rest of the season.

 

[DANIEDOLL]

I know its hard Jen, trust me. I lost one of my grandmothers on March 13, 2001 one week before my b-day & then on the 19th which is my b-day... The funeral took place. I remember sitting at the service just wondering why it had to happen that way. I had planned to go to lunch w/ my parents & her on the day of my b-day but, instead was at her funeral. It was awful. The only day they could give us for the service was on the 19th (my b-day). The next year in 2002 my second grandma passed away 1 week after my b-day on the 26th. I used to look forward to my b-day but, this year it was hard for me. I was close to both of them. This past March I tried to make the best of it & lit candles on the day they passed, just as a rememberance. Even though I was very sad, I tried to focus on the good memories I had. My advice would be to simply remember the good times & focus on positive things during that month. You could light candles, maybe say a prayer for them, meditate or relax by yourself & also stay active w/ your new family. You can start new traditions w/ your family & do fun & creative things w/ them. Just because you will be making some new memories doesn't mean you can't remember the old ones & still smile.

 

[Blaithin]

I'm sorry you are having a hard time of it. I think you've gotten some good advice. Focusing only on the moment at hand and staying centered helps me in difficult times. I hope you are feeling better soon.

Blaithin

 

[wend]

I hope you're feeling better now, jens. It will get easier every year.

My father died on our first wedding anniversary...about twelve years ago. Every anniversary I've tried not to let it affect me, but it always has. But less and less so. This past one, I was really able to celebrate...not without remembering that first one, but without becomming depressed about it.

Bright blessings for a New Year of healing!