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two dilemmas...

stilleto

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1. I have a neighbor that i'm good friends with. her son is the same age as my daughter (11), except while my daughter is learning how to cook and taking cpr classes, her son still plays with legos and spills soda on everything.

Over the summer, she asked me if he could stay at my house for a few hours once in a while when she had to work. at first I said okay, then i said i couldn't have him there when no adult was home. (because i came home to a MESS and doors left wide open, cats running off, things broken, mud tracked through the house, etc.). She said ok, and he still would come over "to play" and told her that he stayed outside, although he didn't. I finally had to say that i just can't have him come over at all when i'm not here. at all.
ok. she understood. our friendship was fine.

Last night, she said nobody would be home at her house when the kids got off the bus. for me, this isn't a problem, as my daughter comes home and does her homework, plus my boys are home. she asked if her son could come to my house, just for 20 minutes.
I said i wouldn't be home and she said it would just be 20 minutes. and my boys would be home, right?
yes, i said. he came over and she didn't pick him up until 4:30pm. she ran late. I came home to find he had been in my room chasing the dog, and then in my boys rooms distracting them from THEIR homework. he had a snack at my house, of cereal and milk, which he left out.

so my neighbor thanked me and said it worked out GREAT and said she is probably going to ask me for the same favor in a few days.

how do i say no and still remain friends?

2. For christmas, I'm making some glass serving pieces for relatives. I sell them for around $120 each. At the house I'll be at on christmas eve, I'll be giving a piece to everyone- except a close relative who lives in a small house with two small children. their whole house is "childproof" and there are toys everywhere. do i give them one too?

3. fistfullofsteel keeps flirting with me. make him stop. :(
 
1. Explain to your neighbor about the mess that was made, and you expect your home and belongings to be respected by guests no matter who they are.

2. Get those peeps some stuff made of plastic.

3. Ban him.
 
Say "bitch, your son is the devil. I'd rather have Michael Vick watch my dogs than your son".
 
jack_schitt said:
1. Explain to your neighbor about the mess that was made, and you expect your home and belongings to be respected by guests no matter who they are.

2. Get those peeps some stuff made of plastic.

3. Ban him.
what he said!!
 
jack_schitt said:
1. Explain to your neighbor about the mess that was made, and you expect your home and belongings to be respected by guests no matter who they are.

2. Get those peeps some stuff made of plastic.

3. Ban him.

1. maybe I can say that its hard enough to come home to whatever mess my own kids make (they don't), but it's hard for me to come home to someone else's mess that I can't ask to clean up. and maybe i'll say that having him here distracts my kids from doing their homework, which they know to come home and do right away.

2. like, tupperware?

3. excellent.
 
stilleto said:
i wouldn't ask.
digger likes to grant those wishes...

:worried:


I was asking for Moltke, I didn't say ask you to BAN ME... I ask where I'd apply to be banned. :worried:
 
Moltke said:
damn that sucks
i'd hate a bunch of snot nosed assholes running around my house



The irony of that is that you are a snot nosed asshole running around mum & dads house... aren't ya?
 
I love not having neighbors. I think I take it for granted sometimes. But not anymore, thanks to you. Sucker.
 
tell her how it is. i've had to do it and the kid was punished by his parents when it was all said and done. by the age of 11 they shold have learned some manners and respect though. but thats the parents fault.
 
jh1 said:
Where the rents at? DO they have another house?

who mows that lawn.... loooks like a bitch?
in southern ohio for now
they'll be back around xmas, and i'll be gone the first week in dec
i push mower that, the real bitch is snowplowing
 
Moltke said:
in southern ohio for now
they'll be back around xmas, and i'll be gone the first week in dec
i push mower that, the real bitch is snowplowing



Who mows it when you're not there?


I am far too lazy to mow a lawn anymore.
 
PuddleMonkey said:
I love not having neighbors. I think I take it for granted sometimes. But not anymore, thanks to you. Sucker.

she's my second closest neighbor and she's driving distance away. she's on 23 acres.

i really don't like kids other than my own, that's part of the problem.
 
Moltke said:
in southern ohio for now
they'll be back around xmas, and i'll be gone the first week in dec
i push mower that, the real bitch is snowplowing


that's a beautiful house. push mower? tell them to get a John deere!
 
Lestat said:
1) sorry no advice there

2) yes

3) enjoy it

2. :yeah, i wasn't really gonna give them tupperware. maybe i'll make them a small dish or something, and explain that i'll make them something more elaborate as the kids get older. :)
thanks.
 
1) Be honest and tell her the truth. If she's insulted and choses not to be your friend after that, then that's her issue to deal with.
Just be kind about it and say "it's tough for my kids to be distracted when they are doing their homework. Anyway, I don't need to get into more detail, I know you understand"

2) your work is beautiful and I am sure she would love it and put it in a safe place

3) ewwww
 
1 - Kids run away all the time. They disappear. They have accidents. hint hint

2 - Do they give you a gift? That's the only thing to worry about.

3 - yeah, me too.
 
1. Did you tell the neighbors kid the RULES of YOUR HOUSE which he must respect and obey if he is to come over? If he knows what to do and not do, THEN breaks the rules that's when you speak to his mother. Sounds to me like you just assumed he would behave with no ground rules set.

2. What horrible thing did those people do to deserve such awful gifts?

2a. I'm kidding.

3. Gross.
 
Stilleto is going to be designing a custom piece of glass art for me this Christmas.

In exchange, I will show up there and brain that kid into a comatose level of submission.
 
G, you really are toooo nice!

Before long, this kid will be moved in with you eating your natty Peanut butter and chowing down your slice of pizza! How is that house guest from hell doing anyhow?

I'd talk with him and his mother. Tell them both he's welcome IF he follows YOUR family rules of the house. I'd be all over my kid if she screwed up her welcome in someone else's home! I'd even offer to bring snacks over if this was going to be an ongoing situation.

Glass gift idea: lol@ tupperware. Perhaps a piece of art they can hang on their wall so lil fingers can't reach it?

Fistfullofcock can be tamed by talking shit about his beloved Giant's.
 
alien amp pharm said:
1. Did you tell the neighbors kid the RULES of YOUR HOUSE which he must respect and obey if he is to come over? If he knows what to do and not do, THEN breaks the rules that's when you speak to his mother. Sounds to me like you just assumed he would behave with no ground rules set.

2. What horrible thing did those people do to deserve such awful gifts?

2a. I'm kidding.

3. Gross.

well i haven't really said a clear set of rules because i'm usually home, and if he comes over when i'm not home... i'm not there to give him the rules.

but mostly, it's just common sense stuff that i couldn't list.
"don't play hide and seek in the closets and knock down everything on the shelves", "don't let the cats out", "don't hold the puppy in one hand"

my daughter is very mature for her age- i'm not used to 11 year old hyperactive boys
 
Id just stick to your guns about him not being left there without you being home. You shouldnt have stuck to your guns anyway. its your house and your rules. She'll have to come up with some other option for childcare- friend or not. If she wont allow him to be left home without adult supervision in her own home, what makes sense about you allowing it in your home?

just tell her you're not comfortable with it and leave it at that,.
 
Smurfy said:
Id just stick to your guns about him not being left there without you being home. You shouldnt have stuck to your guns anyway. its your house and your rules. She'll have to come up with some other option for childcare- friend or not. If she wont allow him to be left home without adult supervision in her own home, what makes sense about you allowing it in your home?

just tell her you're not comfortable with it and leave it at that,.

thank you.
you're right. i have to be stronger about saying no.
 
Smurfy said:
I can relate because I'm the same way.



But it's easy to come on here and spout off at the mouth about how other people should handle ther business, right?
 
I can relate, I'm really close w/ all of my neighbors. tho I dont have any kids, I've had to get out of some sit. where they were getting a little too close for confort but I like them and want to keep their friendship ; but something was making me uncomfortable.

when I get into situations where I feel uncomfortable with something, I just lie. I know it sounds bad, but a little white lie and some distance between you two for a month or so works. They get the hint, but its not enough for them to feel justified on being ticked off at you.

Tell her that you nor the kids will be there, then every time she calls, dont answer. Just for a couple weeks. That way, you are still close enough to be neighbors, but not close enough for her son to be coming over when you are not there.

Maybe???
 
OR OR OR

you could say that you are at the point where you dont want boys in the house with your daughter with out you there??? I dont know. Just trying to think of a good lie thats a half truth, maybe lol.
 
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cindylou said:
I can relate, I'm really close w/ all of my neighbors. tho I dont have any kids, I've had to get out of some sit. where they were getting a little too close for confort but I like them and want to keep their friendship ; but something was making me uncomfortable.

when I get into situations where I feel uncomfortable with something, I just lie. I know it sounds bad, but a little white lie and some distance between you two for a month or so works. They get the hint, but its not enough for them to feel justified on being ticked off at you.

Tell her that you nor the kids will be there, then every time she calls, dont answer. Just for a couple weeks. That way, you are still close enough to be neighbors, but not close enough for her son to be coming over when you are not there.

Maybe???




Oh what a tangled web we weave......
 
Make fistfullofsteel shove a glass serving piece up the neighbor kids ass next time he comes over. All problems solved.

1) neighbor kid will avoid your house at all costs
2) one less glass serving piece means no decision to make
3) fistfullofsteel will be changed by the glass piece adventure and start flirting with AAP instead.


K for me.

-
 
stilleto said:
well i haven't really said a clear set of rules because i'm usually home, and if he comes over when i'm not home... i'm not there to give him the rules.

but mostly, it's just common sense stuff that i couldn't list.
"don't play hide and seek in the closets and knock down everything on the shelves", "don't let the cats out", "don't hold the puppy in one hand"

my daughter is very mature for her age- i'm not used to 11 year old hyperactive boys

When you are around this kid again make sure he knows the rules.

Most grown-ups don't have common sense, what makes you think an 11 yr old kid does?

Can I come over and hang out?
 
1. i flirt with everybody, AAP testified to that
2. you should sleep with her husband, that will teach her a lesson, take pics and post them on ef
3. everybody is going to throw your present in the garbage a week later so it doesn't matter
4. stop asking me what part of new jersey i'm from, cause you know you want me
5. i bought some pills from a dirty magazine that supposedly adds 2 inches. i'm hoping it was worth the $50
 
cindylou said:
I can relate, I'm really close w/ all of my neighbors. tho I dont have any kids, I've had to get out of some sit. where they were getting a little too close for confort but I like them and want to keep their friendship ; but something was making me uncomfortable.

when I get into situations where I feel uncomfortable with something, I just lie. I know it sounds bad, but a little white lie and some distance between you two for a month or so works. They get the hint, but its not enough for them to feel justified on being ticked off at you.

Tell her that you nor the kids will be there, then every time she calls, dont answer. Just for a couple weeks. That way, you are still close enough to be neighbors, but not close enough for her son to be coming over when you are not there.

Maybe???

well, i COULD say that I think my boys are going to their gf's houses, because that actually does happen. She knows I won't let her son come over if it's just him and my daughter, and if she tries, i think i'm strong enough to say "i'm not comfortable with that".
 
Don't lie. Confront the problem and solve it like the real man you are.
 
stilleto said:
well, i COULD say that I think my boys are going to their gf's houses, because that actually does happen. She knows I won't let her son come over if it's just him and my daughter, and if she tries, i think i'm strong enough to say "i'm not comfortable with that".


You could say that. If they dont go over there and she finds out, just tell her that plans changed at the last minute. She will feel like a dumbass for even prying into your private info so much too. lol. Win win situation. Then, just dont answer the phone for a couple weeks (still wave if she is outside) and then it should all be ok hopefully. lol.

I've had to do it. My hub has been out of town for a month, and everone I guess feels like I cant make dinner on my own. I lie to get out of lots of stuff because telling the truth (no, I dont want to come over, or no I dont like your crazy ass son at my house when I'm ot there) DOES hurt people's feelings.

Lying keeps friends. lol. The friendish ones anyway. You cant lie to your close friends, but the close ones you would probably tell her that her son is a pain in the ass no?

Oh well, thats just what I'd do. lol.
 
alien amp pharm said:
Women are so shady, as being proven here.



Its too time consuming and draining to be honest with everyone. :heart:

If she told that lady the honest truth about her son, her feelings would be hurt. In a couple years he might change, but I'll bet 100% if she tells this lady that she does not want her kid in her home while she's gone (after she's already done it twice) her feelings would be hurt, and she might be angry.

Its not shady. ;)
 
Tell your neighbor you want to help her out , but her son does not respect your house rules.

Give a small gift to the family w/ kids.

Post more pics, fistfull will be intimdated by all the attention you`ll be getting from other EF stalkers.

That`ll be $250.00.
 
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