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- Thread starter Cobin
- Start date
KHMER ROGUE
Banned
WODIN said:
Wodin? Here's the quote from TOS you provided the another day before it got deleted.
Guess TOS doesn't apply to moderators? I'd have to say that constitutes as an invasion of privacy.
Lumberg
New member
Redneck Haiku
Hey guys,
Here's your shot of high culture for the day. (I
didn't write these).
BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps
REMORSE
A painful sadness
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door
OPTIONS
Unemployment's out.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability
MOTHER AND CHILD
Crusted in boogers,
Stained with Kool-Aid, baby has face
Only Mama loves
BLAZE
Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with
Gasoline again
A NEW MOON
Flashlights pierce darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we'll gig some frogs
EXUBERANCE
Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil
ALONE
Seeking solitude
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order
DESIRE
Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
That you are my cousin
HATRED
I curse the rainbow
Emblazoned upon his hood
God damn Jeff Gordon
OFFERINGS
Tonight we hunger
Grandma sent grocery money
To Robert Tilton
DRAMA
Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
At 9 O'Clock
DEPRIVED
In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants wrassling doll
Mama whups his ass
NO SIGNAL
White noise, buzzing static
Call Earl; satellite dish
needs new descrambler
IMPOUNDED
Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino
GATHERING
In early morning mist
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man
PRIDE
Grinning, he displays
The nine hundred beer cans
Filling pickup bed
Hey guys,
Here's your shot of high culture for the day. (I
didn't write these).
BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps
REMORSE
A painful sadness
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door
OPTIONS
Unemployment's out.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability
MOTHER AND CHILD
Crusted in boogers,
Stained with Kool-Aid, baby has face
Only Mama loves
BLAZE
Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with
Gasoline again
A NEW MOON
Flashlights pierce darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we'll gig some frogs
EXUBERANCE
Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil
ALONE
Seeking solitude
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order
DESIRE
Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
That you are my cousin
HATRED
I curse the rainbow
Emblazoned upon his hood
God damn Jeff Gordon
OFFERINGS
Tonight we hunger
Grandma sent grocery money
To Robert Tilton
DRAMA
Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
At 9 O'Clock
DEPRIVED
In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants wrassling doll
Mama whups his ass
NO SIGNAL
White noise, buzzing static
Call Earl; satellite dish
needs new descrambler
IMPOUNDED
Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino
GATHERING
In early morning mist
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man
PRIDE
Grinning, he displays
The nine hundred beer cans
Filling pickup bed
Lumberg
New member
LOL @ HI--note the Steve Spurrier quote
Why, oh why do they give sports scholarships?
Chicago Cubs outfielder, Andre Dawson, on being a role model: "I want
> > all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to
> > copulate me."
> >
> > New Orleans Saint RB, George Rogers, when asked about the upcoming
>season:
> > "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
> >
> > And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins' say, "I'd run over my own
> > mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To
>win,
> > I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
> >
> > Football commentator and former player, Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody
> > in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
> > Einstein."
> >
> > Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to
> > graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
> >
> > Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
> > alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair up in groups of three,
> > then line up in a circle."
> >
> > Boxing promoter, Dan Duva, on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter
> > Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
> > prison for three years, not Princeton."
> >
> > Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
> > color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how
> > to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
> >
> > Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his
> > visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that
> > we went to."
> >
> > Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every
>level,
> > except college and pro."
> >
> > Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
> > heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in
>the
> > morning, regardless of what time it is."
> >
> > Pat Williams, Orlando Magic General Manager, on his team's 7-27 record
> > in 1992: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As General
> > Manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
> >
> > Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
>Coach
> > Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting
> > a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
> >
> > Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire
> > at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy
> > was that 15 hadn't been colored in yet."
> >
> > Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints General Manager, when asked after a loss
> > what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy,
> > no good officiating."
> >
> > Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to
> > Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."
> >
> > Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote:
> > "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
> >
> > Frank Layden, Utah Jazz President, on a former player: "I told him,
> > 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach,
> > I don't know and I don't care.'"
> >
> > Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
>Jenkins:
> > "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
> >
> > Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told
> > a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
> > spending too much time on one subject."
> >
> > Oiler coach, Bum Phillips, when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his
>wife
> > on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn
>ugly to kiss good-bye."
Why, oh why do they give sports scholarships?
Chicago Cubs outfielder, Andre Dawson, on being a role model: "I want
> > all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to
> > copulate me."
> >
> > New Orleans Saint RB, George Rogers, when asked about the upcoming
>season:
> > "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
> >
> > And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins' say, "I'd run over my own
> > mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To
>win,
> > I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
> >
> > Football commentator and former player, Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody
> > in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
> > Einstein."
> >
> > Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to
> > graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
> >
> > Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
> > alphabetically by height." And "You guys pair up in groups of three,
> > then line up in a circle."
> >
> > Boxing promoter, Dan Duva, on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter
> > Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to
> > prison for three years, not Princeton."
> >
> > Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a
> > color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how
> > to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
> >
> > Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his
> > visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that
> > we went to."
> >
> > Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every
>level,
> > except college and pro."
> >
> > Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
> > heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in
>the
> > morning, regardless of what time it is."
> >
> > Pat Williams, Orlando Magic General Manager, on his team's 7-27 record
> > in 1992: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As General
> > Manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
> >
> > Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
>Coach
> > Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting
> > a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
> >
> > Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire
> > at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy
> > was that 15 hadn't been colored in yet."
> >
> > Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints General Manager, when asked after a loss
> > what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy,
> > no good officiating."
> >
> > Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to
> > Sunday afternoons: "It's basically the same, just darker."
> >
> > Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote:
> > "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
> >
> > Frank Layden, Utah Jazz President, on a former player: "I told him,
> > 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach,
> > I don't know and I don't care.'"
> >
> > Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
>Jenkins:
> > "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
> >
> > Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told
> > a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're
> > spending too much time on one subject."
> >
> > Oiler coach, Bum Phillips, when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his
>wife
> > on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn
>ugly to kiss good-bye."
gettinlarger
New member
A guy has a cigaratte but doesnt have a light. He goes up to this other dude, and asks if he has one. The dude says yes and pulls out this 12inch long Bic lighter. The first dudes like, whoa dude, whered you get that? He says he has a genie ...
"Whoa dude, can I get a wish?"
"Sure"
So the dude conjures up his genie, and he asks what the dude wants.
"I want 20 million bucks."
After a slight hesitation and an odd look, the genie says, well, ok ...
Then the sky grows black ... with 20 million ducks ...
"What the hell!? I didnt ask for 20 million ducks!"
"Yeah. You think I asked for a 12 inch Bic?"
"Whoa dude, can I get a wish?"
"Sure"
So the dude conjures up his genie, and he asks what the dude wants.
"I want 20 million bucks."
After a slight hesitation and an odd look, the genie says, well, ok ...
Then the sky grows black ... with 20 million ducks ...
"What the hell!? I didnt ask for 20 million ducks!"
"Yeah. You think I asked for a 12 inch Bic?"
Lumberg
New member
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the
bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young
man. "6 shots! Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense,
sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, Nothing will."
bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young
man. "6 shots! Are you celebrating something?" "Yeah, my first blowjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house." "No offense,
sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, Nothing will."
c-sharp minor
Well-known member
A man walks into a bar........
........and says "ouch"!
........and says "ouch"!
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