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The latest from my ex...
- Thread starter Lestat
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Big Rick Rock
istrator
Becoming said:
Thats ok bro. It is the thought that counts.
strongsmartsexy
New member
Don't worry, I hit him for me and you!Becoming said:
That was some of the best reading between the lines I've ever seen. That is true talent!
Big Rick Rock
istrator
Lestat said:
If anything?
Open your eyes bro.
Lestat said:
B
The "why" is the simplest part: "you're not good enough for her".
This seems cruel, until you realize that she is the only person who defines "good enough", the definiton exists only in her head, and it is subject to change any time, and that she probably has no idea what it is anyway.
BRR's post was funny, probably true in many cases, but it has absolutely zero value or applicability to your situation, because what she is doing now is meaningless, unless you are trying to hold on to the past, which is by definiton impossible.
The Sun goes up, it goes down, what are you doing in the intervening time to make YOUR life better? (note - I'm not talking about escapism).
Life goes on. No matter what. It goes on.
Lestat
Just read your detailed description of the break up.
Since you first posted on this topic I hav esaid that she really has been decent to you. It sucks that things didn't work out, but it wasn't like she was seeing guys behind your back, and you found out that way. She acted like an adult, which is all any of us can do.
But after reading about the break up, I think she was doing some other guy. I'd bet hard money she was. That reaction is so consistent with a guilty person. She was likely thinking of moving on, something happened and she met someone, and she felt guilty about it afterwards. Which also explains how clean the break up was and how suddenly it hapened. Usually these things drag out a little bit more.
She probably had a nice day with you, to give you something nice to both remember the relationship by, and then ended things.
Sorry bro, but I have seen that happen to lots of guys
Just read your detailed description of the break up.
Since you first posted on this topic I hav esaid that she really has been decent to you. It sucks that things didn't work out, but it wasn't like she was seeing guys behind your back, and you found out that way. She acted like an adult, which is all any of us can do.
But after reading about the break up, I think she was doing some other guy. I'd bet hard money she was. That reaction is so consistent with a guilty person. She was likely thinking of moving on, something happened and she met someone, and she felt guilty about it afterwards. Which also explains how clean the break up was and how suddenly it hapened. Usually these things drag out a little bit more.
She probably had a nice day with you, to give you something nice to both remember the relationship by, and then ended things.
Sorry bro, but I have seen that happen to lots of guys
How does any of this kind of info help lestat out?
This thought process is some sort of self-justification mechanism that I simply cannot understand.
Who cares what she was doing? it has zero positive impact on lestat's life. Nice "contribution".
This thought process is some sort of self-justification mechanism that I simply cannot understand.
Who cares what she was doing? it has zero positive impact on lestat's life. Nice "contribution".
JerseyArt said:
Matt,
I've thought from the beginning this was the case, and I've sid much the same as you have. I've not posted it before because frankly I didn't wish to hurt the kid. But it is clear he is still holding onto some romanticized version of what transpired, and even when he doesn't post as much, it is clear from his words that he is still hoping for a reconciliation.
He needs to move on, or at minimum recognize what the issue is between them, and how serious are the resons for her decision. He's still goign around in a fog as to why she left him. He thinks there is some "mysterious" reason that if he knew he could ameliorate, either by changing himself or the way he was treating her.
At least if he comes to understand what occured, he can get rid of this "but I need to know why" crap he's clinging to for so long. You have tried to communicate the sentiment it doesn't matter why, she's done with you. But do you think you have been having success?
I've thought from the beginning this was the case, and I've sid much the same as you have. I've not posted it before because frankly I didn't wish to hurt the kid. But it is clear he is still holding onto some romanticized version of what transpired, and even when he doesn't post as much, it is clear from his words that he is still hoping for a reconciliation.
He needs to move on, or at minimum recognize what the issue is between them, and how serious are the resons for her decision. He's still goign around in a fog as to why she left him. He thinks there is some "mysterious" reason that if he knew he could ameliorate, either by changing himself or the way he was treating her.
At least if he comes to understand what occured, he can get rid of this "but I need to know why" crap he's clinging to for so long. You have tried to communicate the sentiment it doesn't matter why, she's done with you. But do you think you have been having success?
I don't think there is any one linear way to deal with this... no do this, do this, then this... and presto things are better.
Talking about it (typing).. hearing different points of view, hearing the good, the bad.. its all theraputic in a way.
And I am moving on... have I moved on completely? no. Has everything been let go? no. But believe me, I'm working on it. I'm not on here asking you guys what I need to do to get her back, or what I should do in order to get a desired response or reaction from here. I'm discussing for the sake of discussing, because getting thoughts and feelings out helps. Hearing from others.. it helps. That's all.
Talking about it (typing).. hearing different points of view, hearing the good, the bad.. its all theraputic in a way.
And I am moving on... have I moved on completely? no. Has everything been let go? no. But believe me, I'm working on it. I'm not on here asking you guys what I need to do to get her back, or what I should do in order to get a desired response or reaction from here. I'm discussing for the sake of discussing, because getting thoughts and feelings out helps. Hearing from others.. it helps. That's all.
Big Rick Rock
istrator
Best Post ever... K for you.
JerseyArt said:
U
Ulcasterdropout
Guest
If it's helping, then go with it...Lestat said:
Big Rick Rock
istrator
Lestat said:
I'm not a scholar like Matt bro,
I tell it like it is. Extra Strength, no watered down shit here. I’m sorry if I come off like an asshole but I like to call them how I see them.
JerseyArt said:
I agree orb. I'm just throwing out a viewpoint, as you are, and hoping it helps lestat out.
I hope that the "I need to know why" sentiment will fade away. In the two times I went through this (one really rough, and one, kinda hard) I found that by focusing on ME ME ME ME was the right answer.
Pain went away and I found myself doing better, sooner. And my life's big picture improved too.
strangebrew
New member
listen to matt, hes a wise man.
split endz
New member
Hey I just read the whole thread for the first time, so, no, not tired of it. There is some good advice in here, I'm 39 yo & never been married, love being single. Over the years I have learned that the female psyche is truly different. What you sent her was good & will have her mind on you more than if you were sending her piles of dribble every day. Hey I know how you feel, but keep it to yourself, be strong and have some mystery about you. Keep us updated if you talk to her.
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