The Inner Child Test

[WODIN]

http://test3.thespark.com/childtest/

Diva of the Sewers
(Perverse Ignored Dysfunctional Adult)


Your inner child is the Diva of the Sewers (PIDA) --singing songs of a golden era, when people ate dirt and had to sell their limbs for Burger King cash. She is frequently seen drunk at the wheel of your psyche and likes to crash through the plate-glass window of your emotional storefront. Think of what the child of Michael Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor would have been like and you have your girl.

Whether you are talented or not at singing doesn't matter. Your inner child is covered in ooze. That matters. The inner-child-computing-device recommends getting your inner child to a celebrity detox center immediately.

 

[The Shadow]

I'll regret this:


The Rich Bitch
(Perverse Spoiled Functional Adult)


Make way for fatty! Your inner child is The Rich Bitch (PSFA). She is never seen happy, without jewelry or not adhering to the three D's: Denial, Denial, Denial. If you grinded up your inner child into a fine powder you could make a killing selling your "hypertension dust." Pushiness and perversion mixed with full-functionality makes for an explosive inner child.

And, she suffers from all sorts of pyscological clichés too: phobia-fixation, übersuperstition, head castration anxiety and many other "disorders of the mini-self." (These things are typically known as demons.)

In terms of help, realizing you have problems is the first step. Then, doing whatever you can to deny that fact is the second. Stay away from QVC, you shiny demon

 

[WODIN]

For some reason I now feel okay with being a "Diva of the Sewers"...

 

[velvett]

Your inner child is the Toymaker (PIFA) --aloof, quirky and maniacal like a baroque timepiece-- so don't be surprised when all your cukoo clocks go off at once. Luckily, for the present, you have managed to siphon all of your weird-ass issues into some sort of outlet, so you're safe from the guys in skintight white jump suits.

The little baby working away inside of you functions because everything it has learned it learned itself-- without too much outside help. Because you were born being old, you are fixated on youth.

This inner child is common among people who use shiny objects, like serial killers and dentists.

 

[Roadblock]

Hmm...

The Toymaker
(Perverse Ignored Functional Adult)


Your inner child is the Toymaker (PIFA) --aloof, quirky and maniacal like a baroque timepiece-- so don't be surprised when all your cukoo clocks go off at once. Luckily, for the present, you have managed to siphon all of your weird-ass issues into some sort of outlet, so you're safe from the guys in skintight white jump suits.

The little baby working away inside of you functions because everything it has learned it learned itself-- without too much outside help. Because you were born being old, you are fixated on youth.

This inner child is common among people who use shiny objects, like serial killers and dentists.

 

[Kali]

Now I am pissed... interesting, I have never been spoiled in my life. Why do I keep doing these tests?

Spoiled Connecticut Rich Kid
(Normal Spoiled Dysfunctional Child)


What's up Spoiled Connecticut Rich Kid? (NSDC) Your baby on the inside wants it now. It has always gotten it now and there is no reason on earth why it shouldn't get it RIGHT NOW. If you could get rich whining you would. You are childlike, but not in a good way. Think Chuckie, or any one of those other little baddie-two-shoes.

People with this inner child seem to make it in the world, via politics or inheriting large amounts of money. Usually both.

On the bright side, however, your friends only hang around you because they are as shallow as you and want to wrap your daddy's benz around a telephone pole in a coked-up frenzy.

Get help. Or valium.

 

[beastboy]

The Toymaker
(Perverse Ignored Functional Adult)


Your inner child is the Toymaker (PIFA) --aloof, quirky and maniacal like a baroque timepiece-- so don't be surprised when all your cukoo clocks go off at once. Luckily, for the present, you have managed to siphon all of your weird-ass issues into some sort of outlet, so you're safe from the guys in skintight white jump suits.

The little baby working away inside of you functions because everything it has learned it learned itself-- without too much outside help. Because you were born being old, you are fixated on youth.

This inner child is common among people who use shiny objects, like serial killers and dentists.

 

[bigguns7]

Li'l Dictator
(Normal Spoiled Functional Adult)


Your inner child rides you like the hollow donkey that you are, for it is the Li'l Dictator (NSFA). Brutal, cold and demanding, he rules you with an iron diaper. He recites long speeches of your demise, herds the emotions together in detention centers and generally just makes any pleasure you may have punishable by firing squad.

In order to help yourself, the first thing you need to do is revolt, coup or all out assasinate the little bugger. Perform psycological warfare on him. You may get lost in the struggle for independence, but future generations will sing your name.

Stay away from open balconies, though. He likes to push.

 

[TEXgrl]

Wyld Chylde
(Perverse Spoiled Dysfunctional Child)


The little guy in you loves to rock, for it is The Wyld Chylde, running wild. Otherwise known as a PSDC, your inner child can't sit still for more than a second and hence, neither can you. You jump around and yell and stuff-- most of the time breaking things, people and places.

Finding a normal life with the "Chylde" in tow can be hard. He tends to flame out early on or, even worse, melt into a smooth jazz/worldbeat balladeer after years of soul searching and heavy self-medication.

But don't change a thing-- enjoy the ride, for it will be insane.

 

[HappyScrappy]

Odd Little Animal
(Normal Ignored Dysfunctional Adult)


Your inner child is the Odd Little Animal (NIDA) --running through the pastures of your insides, nibbling on grass and licking the insects in your brain. It has a great understanding of these few things, but not much else.

In your own mind you are a wunderkind, wearing a cape and sporting mutli-colored stockings. While in reality, you are wearing a cape and multi-colored stockings-- but without all that hero crap.

Your little inner beast is normal, mature and dysfunctional-- a bizarre combination that makes for a very furry pelt. So be wary of others looking for a glistening, beautiful new rug to adorn their den. They only want to skin you alive.

Do you want to be skinned alive? Fly!