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The FAT Chronicles

tjohns001 wote:

there is this guy named cornholio that says he hates fat people more than terminally ill retarded children. oh why is the world so cruel

Dude that has to be the funniest shit I have ever seen.... Im dying.. Im pissing myself.. lololololol
 
The Fat Catalog

The Fat Catalog

In order to meet the needs of our obese neighbors and to take their money before they go out and spend it on twinkies I’ve created a special catalog for them. Please understand this catalog is in “Beta” form and new products will be added to it as time allows (provided the catalog is not eaten first).


The Fatmobile

Ever notice the average whale drives a tiny little car? Due to the economics of eating 15000 calories a day and spending the rest of their money on 300 channel satellite tv a larger car simply isn’t affordable.

In order to enhance the driving experience I’ve taken a Volkswagon Beetle and modified it for comfort and additional convenience. This “Fatmobile” has the following features:

- No airbag, their enormous gut will take care of any protection
- Bare metal seats – make it roomier and besides, if you have inches of blubber on your ass why would you need seat pads?
- Sandwich holder, allows them to eat while driving – safely. Nothing is worse than some fat ass drifting all over the road while eating their box of donuts for the morning snack..
- Dark tinted windows, so you can’t see their disgusting face
- Each car will be equipped with a big feed bag in case of emergencies


The GAAAAAP Clothing Line

It’s back to the basics fat ass! That’s right, basic is IN! No more wearing a million fucking ruffles or pictures of cats – that’s out. You’re an obese whale, be proud and wear it with pride! Some highlights of the new clothing line:

- The Whaler – No, it’s not the tasty fish sandwich you stuff down at Burger King. It’s a tent! A big tent that has been modified to meet your needs and allow your big flabby arms to flap about freely. The Whaler comes in Ocean Blue and Porpoise Teal.
- Koolaide – Guess what? This is a tent as well! The Koolaide model is a bright cherry red and when an obese victim on disability from all the cruelty of the Fast Food Industry wears it everybody will look at him/her/it and yell: “HEY KOOLAIDE” just like in the advertisements for this delicious beverage.
- Big Blue – Another fucking tent. Bright Blue of course.
- Clownfit – This tent is special! Multi-colored with bright Yellow/Red/Green and gold tassels. Also comes equipped with a little clown hat that’s just as cute. WARNING: PLEASE KEEP SMALL CHILDREN AWAY


The Toil-e-Tub

How often do you have to smell a fat ass walking by? What on earth is that smell you say.. Sweat, old twinkies.. Nope, it’s probably the remains of a terd stuck between their big fat ass cheeks! The solution? THE TOIL-E-TUB bathtub!! What features allow this situation to be corrected?:

- Extra large bathtub
- Large drain that effectively process large sticky terds

Directions:
- Fill up tub with hot water
- Just shit & bathe – it’s that simple!
 
Oink, oink.

Interesting reply, Oinker. As you continue to espouse your fascinating verbiage and opinions, you continue to make my point. Pigs aren't just known for being fat, you know. They're also known for being rather foul. :FRlol:

I have a master's in the field of educational psychology. As to my style of bodybuilding, I shudder to think of what "your style" is, what it is that you're lifting, (tall boys? long necks?) or how you're lifting it...or to what end you are lifting it. I don't know what "dimensions" is, but I'm only an amateur body builder, and you being the "professional", you seem to be very familiar with it, so perhaps I'll have to take your word for that comment.

I suspect more and more that you are deeply afraid of being (or becoming) very heavy, and thus your hostility--but you're probably not even THAT complex, are you? I'm guessing more of the 302 disorder series for you - but then you may well have something that's much more axis 2. (When your really smart friend who reads to you reads this, maybe s/he can look that one up).

Regarding support groups, I can only say that whether you think anyone has a right to feel unhappy or not, every human has a right to try to gain some support from others, even when they may have brought their own misery upon themselve through bad luck or bad judgement. But then I suppose your partner/mate already told you that.

Cheers to you, oinker. Have a great day. You've certainly made mine!:angel: :FRlol:
 
ouch

Holy mother of fuck Oinker,
What are you going to say to that. She dissed your fat, white trash, cum guzzling, latently homosexual ass!! WOW! What a flame.
I remember the glory days in second grade when I used to call kids gay because I was too uneduacated to think of real insults. And seriously, if you are fed up with fat people, there is no possible way you can be muscular or fit. Let's be serious, it makes perfect sense. All that weight the fat people carry around is brain mass.
Oh the world is cruel.
 
Re: Oink, oink.

mistyp said:
Interesting reply, Oinker. As you continue to espouse your fascinating verbiage and opinions, you continue to make my point. Pigs aren't just known for being fat, you know. They're also known for being rather foul. :FRlol:

I have a master's in the field of educational psychology. As to my style of bodybuilding, I shudder to think of what "your style" is, what it is that you're lifting, (tall boys? long necks?) or how you're lifting it...or to what end you are lifting it. I don't know what "dimensions" is, but I'm only an amateur body builder, and you being the "professional", you seem to be very familiar with it, so perhaps I'll have to take your word for that comment.

I suspect more and more that you are deeply afraid of being (or becoming) very heavy, and thus your hostility--but you're probably not even THAT complex, are you? I'm guessing more of the 302 disorder series for you - but then you may well have something that's much more axis 2. (When your really smart friend who reads to you reads this, maybe s/he can look that one up).

Regarding support groups, I can only say that whether you think anyone has a right to feel unhappy or not, every human has a right to try to gain some support from others, even when they may have brought their own misery upon themselve through bad luck or bad judgement. But then I suppose your partner/mate already told you that.

Cheers to you, oinker. Have a great day. You've certainly made mine!:angel: :FRlol:

*yawn*

Oh, so you don't agree or like the things that I have to say? So that makes me a pig? I am so happy someone so authoritive and judgemental as yourself came here to show me the error of my ways. But I am happy you came here, so you can try to parade and attempt to champion such a noble cause of defending poor health, apathy, and laziness. You don't happen to vote democratic by any chance, do you?

Well, I guess all that money that money spent on at the local community college paid off, even though I know it could have been used for more important things such as cookie dough, golf carts, and michael bolton cd's. Well, if you do have a job and really aren't living off of disability or some other federal aid program, what is it? Since you are obviously so intelligent. Does it involve discussing 'feelings' with elementary school students or telling Manuel to stop hating his parents and carving "Kid Rock" into his arms?

You are kind of throwing me off here by labeling yourself as a bodybuilder, and a vegan one at that. How does that workout? If you are intelligent as you think you are, you should know that vegetarian, let alone vegan diets, are not as healthy as diets that include meat. Secondly, if you are a 'vegan bodybuilder' please tell me how much legumes, soy beans, etc. you consume on a daily basis to meet the general requirement for protein intake of that of a 'bodybuilder' (which I seriously doubt you are). You weren't the one enquiring about whether or not you could use an adult sized 'hippity-hop' were you? Or were you the one saying how great 'exerball' and richard simmons was? As for where I'm at with my training, if you went back a few pages through my 'horrible, nasty, <insert derogatory adjective here> you would know where I started from and where I am currently at with my training. But once again, I am not a bodybuilder. I lift for size and practical strength, because I am very much involved in submission grappling.

Wow, great 'diagnosis' there. Did you manage to copy some random terms from the DSM or your high school psychology textbook? You being the intelligent master's student that you claim to be, should know how difficult it is to diagnose someone without ever meeting them, let alone based upon a handful of posts off of an Internet chatboard. Or did you just ramble off how your shrink diagnosed you? I'm sure those years of students throwing pork rinds and sticks of butter at you, probably left deep emotional wounds on your psyche that you are still, to this day, trying to mend by going out of you way and trying to insult me. there there, it's ok, the neighborhood children will never stop by your house asking if they can borrow a pair of your underwear to make a parachute with again.

You already know my opinion on support groups, so i won't bother trying to change your mind. But once again, if someone chooses to use poor judgement, they should live with the consequences and not bitch and moan about it. You know, like your husband must as he visualizes women under 300 lbs without handles all over their body as he parks his scooter in your airline hanger.

But yet I am happy you burned the 5-10 calories writing your ridiculous response, you must be sweating like the pig you are. Now go back to your busy schedule of washing your body with a rag on a stick and put on a nice clean moo-moo on.
 
Re: ouch

tableedge said:
Holy mother of fuck Oinker,
What are you going to say to that. She dissed your fat, white trash, cum guzzling, latently homosexual ass!! WOW! What a flame.
I remember the glory days in second grade when I used to call kids gay because I was too uneduacated to think of real insults. And seriously, if you are fed up with fat people, there is no possible way you can be muscular or fit. Let's be serious, it makes perfect sense. All that weight the fat people carry around is brain mass.
Oh the world is cruel.

don't forget i know where you live dickhead and well aware how much your mom wants some anal action. her tits will flop out of shirt like tube socks filled with vomit.
 
I just want to say this is possibly the funniest thread ever, and I'm honored to be a part of it. It should either be made a sticky or archived.

...if only I was talking to my fat-fuck of a room-mate so I could tell him to visit and read up on a whole fistful of truth.
 
Norman Bates said:
I hope the flaming here goes on a little bit more... it´s really funny :)

I'm sure once her husband dislodges her body out of the bath tub she'll be back to telling me how bad of a person i truly am
 
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