That darn double standard again....

[jenscats5]

You know how the guys always complain about how, after marriage, the sex declines?? Have they ever thought about why? Or, if there's anything they can do about it??

I know not every woman is the same sexually, but for me, physical non-sexual affection turns me on. Kissing, general affection, etc..... I've noticed that, in the 3 years I've been married, it has declined..... And, the "Hey, you want to go upstairs & do "it"?" just isn't that exciting....

I've mentioned it and he doesn't seem to "get it."

 

[velvett]

Marriage?!

What about dating...


Seems that after the first 6 months they break and haven't a warranty.

 

[Werd]

Marriage?!

What about dating...


Seems that after the first 6 months they break and haven't a warranty.

I guess the trick is to not get married?! LOL

 

[jenscats5]

Marriage?!

What about dating...


Seems that after the first 6 months they break and haven't a warranty.

That's a good one!! LOL

 

[MissJanet79]

I've mentioned it and he doesn't seem to "get it."

Of course they don't get it 'cause in reality, men do NOT think like we do... they really do NOT have any logic. I have to tell my fiancé to remember the kisses, caresses etc. that I LOVE. I am a very sexual person therefore we don't bump heads there, but I do like the lil stuff too! Men don't understand that b/c their lack of logic. I remember seeing something on 20/20 that did studies in both men & women & boys & girls ...& found that men only listen w/ 1/2 the brain whereas women listen w/ both. I couldn't find the 20/20 study online but this is similar to it:

Study reveals brain differences between men and women

New research suggests men really do listen with just half their brains.

In a US study of 20 men and 20 women, brain scans showed that men mostly used the left sides of their brains when listening. Women in the study used both sides.

Other studies have suggested that women can handle listening to two conversations at once, says Dr Joseph T. Lurito, an assistant radiology professor at Indiana University School of Medicine. One of the reasons may be that they have more brain devoted to it.

Dr Lurito's findings, presented at the Radiological Society of North America's annual meeting, don't necessarily mean women are better listeners.

It could be that it's harder for them, Dr Lurito says, since they apparently need to use more of their brains than men to do the same task.

"I don't want a battle of the sexes. I just want people to realise that men and women may process language differently," he said.

In the study, functional magnetic resonance imaging was used to measure brain activity by producing multidimensional images of blood flow to various parts of the brain.

The findings tend to support previous suggestions that women's brains are either more bilaterally dominant or more right-side dominant in doing certain tasks than men's, says Dr Edgar Kenton of the American Stroke Association, a neurologist at Thomas Jefferson University in Philadelphia.

Although it is in the early stages, the study could help doctors treating stroke victims better understand how men's and women's brains differ, Dr Kenton says.

It suggests that in a stroke affecting the brain's left side, women might recover language ability more quickly than men, though that remains to be proven

 

[jenscats5]

^^ That's very interesting.....

But, if he's gonna complain about the lack of sex, then one would think that he would do what needs to be done to take care of bid-ness....

Hel-lo?????? Anyone in there? *waves hand in front of eyes*

 

[MissJanet79]

^^ That's very interesting.....

But, if he's gonna complain about the lack of sex, then one would think that he would do what needs to be done to take care of bid-ness....

Hel-lo?????? Anyone in there? *waves hand in front of eyes*

LOL Yeah you would THINK SO... that's LOGICAL! But seems as though you have to explain it to them as if they are a 2 year old... & writing it down in a VERY short paragraph may help even better. "Bill wants Sally... Sally wants Bill... Sally needs Bill to kiss, carress etc.... Bill doesn't do that. Bill is left with BLUE BALLS"...

 

[jm2mr2bv]

Yeah I know exactly what you ladies are talking about. I am like jenscats5, i too am extremely turned on my nonsexual affection. I have explained it too my boyfriend but he doesn't understand i guess that the smallest gestures will make me jump him like a hungry dog after a steak. I will say that he has gotten a little better about showing me little signs of affection, so maybe he will see the chain reaction it causes and learn from that. Guys just go aobut sex a whole other way then most women.

 

[Werd]

As long as the man is asking properly he will ALWAYS get play. Too bad most guys dont get that. Because in the end BOTH parties miss out.

 

[mbrooke5]

LOL Yeah you would THINK SO... that's LOGICAL! But seems as though you have to explain it to them as if they are a 2 year old... & writing it down in a VERY short paragraph may help even better. "Bill wants Sally... Sally wants Bill... Sally needs Bill to kiss, carress etc.... Bill doesn't do that. Bill is left with BLUE BALLS"...

LOL...I luv it Janet...guys are something else..my dude and I have met a happy medium...I give him oral pleasure while he is watching sports during the week...and on the weekend it's all the kissing and caressing I can handle...but it took many conversations, many misunderstanding, and many mansterbating nights (when we weren't living together).

 

[starfish]

You know how the guys always complain about how, after marriage, the sex declines?? Have they ever thought about why? Or, if there's anything they can do about it??

I know not every woman is the same sexually, but for me, physical non-sexual affection turns me on. Kissing, general affection, etc..... I've noticed that, in the 3 years I've been married, it has declined..... And, the "Hey, you want to go upstairs & do "it"?" just isn't that exciting....

I've mentioned it and he doesn't seem to "get it."

That would bother me too. All that "other stuff" makes the sex part 1000x better because you feel closer to that man.

Tell him to get with the program

 

[MissJanet79]

LOL...I luv it Janet...guys are something else..my dude and I have met a happy medium...I give him oral pleasure while he is watching sports during the week...and on the weekend it's all the kissing and caressing I can handle...but it took many conversations, many misunderstanding, and many mansterbating nights (when we weren't living together).

LOL Thanx!!

Yeah he & I are into pretty much the same things, sports, movies, SEX etc. So we bump heads on other issues... but I did have to "train" his brain b/c there are times they just want to get to it right away & I'm like we got time damnit... take your time! It's amazing...after A MILLION reminders, I've noticed that he does kiss me etc., more! Wow, they really CAN be taught. Just takes way too much patience sometimes!

 

[jenscats5]

That would bother me too. All that "other stuff" makes the sex part 1000x better because you feel closer to that man.

Tell him to get with the program

I HAVE told him......that is what's so frustrating.....I have changed the way I do things cuz he likes it that way....COMPROMISE.....so why can't I have what I want? My ex-husband didn't get it either....

MEN!?!?! Jeez!!

 

[brunette]

if you have told him, and nothing, then how about showing him?

 

[FigureSkater]

And of course, if a woman doesn't want to or isn't in the mood, it's HER fault.
If a guy can't get it up, it's HER fault for not doing something right.
And so on...

 

[jenscats5]

if you have told him, and nothing, then how about showing him?

Oh he knows what I want done....I think he's just dense or something..... LOL

 

[Pamela]

Men get to comfortable.
So I believe they see it as a job to romance, take you out. etc. They make it sound like a chore. Instead of planning like they did before they leave it up to the women to make the plans. And it's not as exciting as it was.

But men and women are different. I was once married before. And my husband didn't enjoy sex. I use to think it was me. I would try and wear sexy clothes the heel and make the moves on him. ( I think I use to scare him) lol! But he just wasn't interested.

Go figure!

 

[Werd]

I swear the guys that complain the worst about how "my wife just doesn't understand me" are the ones with the 2inch dicks who think that foreplay = ,"Honey, could you get me another beer?"!

I have a voracious sexual appetite. The only time I dont want sex is when I am sick w/my GI troubles. Simple solution to that: drink a little, medicate a little and fuck till you cough blood.

I have to admit though, I am a bit wierded thinking about what it will be like w/my kids in the house after I marry my bf. They know we are "dating" LOL and REALLY REALLY like him - THEY WANT ME TO MARRY HIM and also know that when adults are married they share a bed. I was always always very affectionate w/their father and they would giggle and think it was funny. Now they think that when my bf and I show innocent affection it is even funnier!... but still that is NOT sex.

Methinks I need to start another thread about this....

I am not losing sleep over this issue, but still I do wonder how this will play out.

 

[sexkitten]

i love sex, and i am a very affectionate person. my bf will complain about sex and not even stop to realize that the reason it isnt always good is all his fault. mayb they should put a little moreeffort into it instead of just humping us like an uneutered dog

 

[jenscats5]

i love sex, and i am a very affectionate person. my bf will complain about sex and not even stop to realize that the reason it isnt always good is all his fault. mayb they should put a little moreeffort into it instead of just humping us like an uneutered dog

BAM!! Nail on the head.....

 

[Pamela]

i love sex, and i am a very affectionate person. my bf will complain about sex and not even stop to realize that the reason it isnt always good is all his fault. mayb they should put a little more effort into it instead of just humping us like an uneutered dog

Really!