Me and my associates have devised an ingenious method of whitening teeth.
We begin by using local anesthetic, and a small dose of black tar heroin. Then, we would remove your esophagus for a short while, to improve the healing process.
Using a pair of pliers, we then pull out all of your teeth and place them in a glass of vinegar and salt. We then suture up the wounds, and fit you with some dentures. Our dentures are guaranteed never to dull or darken, and are backed up with a 2% money back guarantee.
We then keep your teeth for necklaces that we sell to tourists.