Stripper ex-girlfriend is pregnant....

[casavant]

I was just talking to a mutual friend of ours night before last. Apparently, she's two or three months along.

I saw her bartending at a place down the street from where I work. I don't know if she's still dancing, but if she is, it won't be for much longer.

She's still smoking.

And the daddy's name is "Loyd".

I am really, really fucking glad that I closed that chapter a long time ago. God, what a nightmare that would have been.

From what I hear, she's actually happy about it, which doesn't surprise me at all. She needs her ass kicked for smoking while she's pregnant. I just hope she isn't drinking and doing drugs too.

Other than that, I wish her the best.

Whew....

 

[AAP]

Bro, be glad you ain't responsible for it.

 

[rnch]

that's why i like hittin' the "balloon knot"!

 

[bdog527]

Poor kid.

 

[casavant]

Poor kid.

Her, or the one she's gonna have?

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

what AAP said

 

[casavant]

Bro, be glad you ain't responsible for it.

Oh hell yeah. "Ecstatic" is more like it.

Last time I had sex with her was somewhere back in November or December of 2001.

 

[rnch]

that's why i like hittin' the "balloon knot"!

just playin' around with cass's last thread.

 

[casavant]

just playin' around with cass's last thread.

I know, homie.

She did have a purdy lil' balloon knot.

 

[bdog527]

Her, or the one she's gonna have?

The latter.

 

[casavant]

My Lady Has A Beautiful Anus

How do I love my lady's anus? Let me count the ways.

Have you seen her? Have you seen my beautiful lady and her anus? Unless you are an ex-boyfriend, her proctologist, or an art student in that class she modeled for, you probably have not have glimpsed the fairest orifice on God's green Earth. For this, you have my deepest sympathies.

I would put my lady's anus up against any of the legendary anuses of the past: Helen of Troy, Joan of Arc, Marie Curie, Eleanor Roosevelt. Even Cleopatra, who, according to legend, had a team of eunuchs apply balms and liniments with silken cloths to keep her anus and inner rectum immaculate, could not stand up to my lady. (My lady needs no such fripperies to be beautiful... though I do not hesitate to lavish them on her.) Lovely as Cleopatra's anus may have been, compared to my lady's, hers is a pustulent, lesion-ravaged hole.

My lady does not like me to go on and on about her anus, but how can I resist? When I look into that one brown eye, it's like gazing into a deep, untouched lake. Sometimes, it's as if I'm gazing through a taut, puckered window into her very soul, placing myself in danger of being hypnotized by the swirls of her rectum. Her anus is like a vessel I can't seem to fill with enough love, no matter how hard I try. I am not what one would call a holy man, but when I am gently kissing my lady's fragrant anus, I am convinced that there must be a higher power out there who made this sacred aperture.

As I am very protective of my lady's anus, few have seen it. Nevertheless, I am fond of waxing rhapsodic on its beauty. This can be difficult, though, for how does one describe the beauty of a Tuscan moon? How does one tell of the glory of the cosmos? Shakespeare would have written sonnets about it. Beethoven would have discarded his "Ode To Joy" in favor of "Ode To My Lady's Anus." And Raphael would have tried—and failed—to render its essence in oils. Lo, prodigious as these immortals' artistic gifts were, my lady's anus would have proven too elusive a muse for any of them to capture.

Yes, my lady's anus is a sight to behold. But it is not just a question of looks. For all its aesthetic loveliness, the greatest thing about my lady's anus is its personality. Sometimes silly, sometimes sad; sometimes dilated, sometimes clenched, it reveals a new wrinkle every time we meet.

Whether I see it reflected in candlelight during a romantic dinner or after it has just awaken from a night's slumber, my lady's anus is still as lovely to me as the first time I saw it. My friends say I won't feel the same way about it when it's 60. I disagree. It may lose that youthful glow, but this is the kind of anus that will only ripen with age. As further assurance, I once caught a glimpse of my lady's mother's anus and, as we all know, the apple does not fall far from the tree.

People say I'm spoiling my lady's anus by buying imported, hand-woven silk toilet paper. But do you polish a diamond with sandpaper? Do you restore the Mona Lisa with a hammer? My lady's anus deserves ruby and emerald enemas. Swabs of cotton soaked in the finest champagne. Anything less would be woefully inadequate for an orifice of such sublime beauty.

And don't even get me started on her perineum.

http://www.theonion.com/onion3724/my_lady_has_a.html

 

[casavant]

The latter.

I concur. If you're gonna bring a kid into the world, why not give it the best start possible?

The guy I was talking to says he's trying to talk some sense into her, but I remember trying to do that with her.


Case in point...

Here's a thread from me in more pathetic times. LOL... it irks me just to read back over this. Glad those days are past (we broke up for good 10 days after this post):

My girlfriend won't get an HIV test. (post #1)

OK, I'll keep this brief. My girlfriend and I broke up over the summer. While we were apart, we were both with other people. We ended up getting back together, and she admitted that she had unprotected sex with a guy. Since I'd had condoms break on me a couple of times, I went to the doctor and endured the discomfort of having an HIV blood test. I came out negative and showed her the results. I've been persistent in asking her to do the same, but so far she has not. She says she's terrified of needles and of a positive result. I'm starting to get pretty fucking pissed about this selfish, irresponsible attitude. Finally, a few days ago I said that I wasn't going to have sex anymore until she went and had it done. Now I think she kind of sees it as a test of wills. One at which I will ultimately fail because I'm such a horny bastard. I'm really not fucking around on this one though, and if it keeps up like this, I'm thinking of breaking it off completely. What do you guys think?

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=91129

 

[danielson]

i hope she stops smoking.......poor kid

 

[bdog527]

I concur. If you're gonna bring a kid into the world, why not give it the best start possible?

The guy I was talking to says he's trying to talk some sense into her, but I remember trying to do that with her.


Case in point...

Here's a thread from me in more pathetic times. LOL... it irks me just to read back over this. Glad those days are past (we broke up for good 10 days after this post):

My girlfriend won't get an HIV test. (post #1)

OK, I'll keep this brief. My girlfriend and I broke up over the summer. While we were apart, we were both with other people. We ended up getting back together, and she admitted that she had unprotected sex with a guy. Since I'd had condoms break on me a couple of times, I went to the doctor and endured the discomfort of having an HIV blood test. I came out negative and showed her the results. I've been persistent in asking her to do the same, but so far she has not. She says she's terrified of needles and of a positive result. I'm starting to get pretty fucking pissed about this selfish, irresponsible attitude. Finally, a few days ago I said that I wasn't going to have sex anymore until she went and had it done. Now I think she kind of sees it as a test of wills. One at which I will ultimately fail because I'm such a horny bastard. I'm really not fucking around on this one though, and if it keeps up like this, I'm thinking of breaking it off completely. What do you guys think?

http://boards.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=91129

Damn. This is a good example of the type of woman you don't need in your life. Glad you dodged the bullet cas.

 

[bdog527]

My Lady Has A Beautiful Anus

How do I love my lady's anus? Let me count the ways.


http://www.theonion.com/onion3724/my_lady_has_a.html

 

[casavant]

Damn. This is a good example of the type of woman you don't need in your life. Glad you dodged the bullet cas.

Meeeee TOO!!

 

[Imakarum_Mirabilis]

Don't even think about it, man. The world can eat at your spirit if you give it half a chance.

 

[casavant]

Don't even think about it, man. The world can eat at your spirit if you give it half a chance.

I ain't losing any sleep.

 

[manny78]

At least she knows who's the dad which is a good start...

 

[biteme]

I was just talking to a mutual friend of ours night before last. Apparently, she's two or three months along.

I saw her bartending at a place down the street from where I work. I don't know if she's still dancing, but if she is, it won't be for much longer.

She's still smoking.

And the daddy's name is "Loyd".

I am really, really fucking glad that I closed that chapter a long time ago. God, what a nightmare that would have been.

From what I hear, she's actually happy about it, which doesn't surprise me at all. She needs her ass kicked for smoking while she's pregnant. I just hope she isn't drinking and doing drugs too.

Other than that, I wish her the best.

Whew....

Smoking while pregnant? What a stupid bitch. I feel sorry for the unborn child. Just glad you didn't marry her.

 

[gonelifting]

good luck to "Loyd". another statistic in the making.

 

[casavant]

good luck to "Loyd". another statistic in the making.

Loyd.

Loyd....Loyd...Loyd......



I wonder if he's into NASCAR.

Couldn't resist.

No jealousy here. I feel kinda sorry for the poor bastard, whoever he is.

 

[rnch]

have they picked out their reposessed trailer....i mean...manufactured home yet?

 

[casavant]

have they picked out their reposessed trailer....i mean...manufactured home yet?

LOL.


Really though, I do hope she does OK.

Even though she is fucked up.

 

[Frackal]

A woman who smokes/drinks/drugs while pregnant should be shot before it's too late.

 

[tiger88]

i hate hearing of a child who is born into negativity......that pisses me off more then anything WTF ARE PPL THINKING THESE DAYS

 

[rnch]

all of the jeff foxworthy monologs could be used here.......

 

[Latamier]

Poor kid is going to have a father named Lloyd. LOL

 

[endpoint]

Poor kid is going to have a father named Lloyd. LOL

if the kid is lucky.....he could be named "Lloyd jnr."

 

[big_bad_buff]

<crowd>JERRY!!!!JERRY!!!!!!JERRY!!!!

 

[casavant]

Well, at least the daddy's name isn't "Lloyd".

I just got a call from her and we chatted for a few minutes. Haven't talked to her in months.

She quit dancing.

I told her that she needs to stop smoking, but figured that berating her wouldn't do a whole lot of good; it never did on any other issues the whole time we were together. She says she's cutting down, but cutting down don't cut it. Oh well, it's not my deal.

I guess the daddy is some guy that lifts (she described him as a "bodybuilder) and apparently he knows me. He must not be very big, or I'd remember who he was. The name does sound kind of familiar. I guess he goes to school up here. When I punched his name into the university database, it did come up. Undergrad psych major. LOL... too many people around here know me without me knowing them.

I wished her the best.

 

[argent]

Re: Re: Stripper ex-girlfriend is pregnant....

Smoking while pregnant? What a stupid bitch. I feel sorry for the unborn child. Just glad you didn't marry her.

what he said. As soon as he delivers the kid you should drop kick her.

 

[nvrbuffenuff_girl]

A woman who smokes/drinks/drugs while pregnant should be shot before it's too late.

I strongly dislike those who smoke while carrying a child.


My sister in law is a perfect example. I wish I could grab that cancer stick out of her mouth every time. Just this week, my mom saw her smoking and finally said something.

Her response, "Why should I stop? Smoking isn't bad for her. All its responsible for is low birth weight. Besides she already huge. She kicks me so hard every night. I need a smaller child." You would think she would be smarter especially since she is in health care.

 

[casavant]

Re: Re: Re: Stripper ex-girlfriend is pregnant....

what he said. As soon as he delivers the kid you should drop kick her.

Like I said, it's not my deal.

I do agree that smoking while pregnant is pretty damn abhorrent.

 

[casavant]

Her response, "Why should I stop? Smoking isn't bad for her. All its responsible for is low birth weight. Besides she already huge. She kicks me so hard every night. I need a smaller child." You would think she would be smarter especially since she is in health care.