Something about you EF chicks that i cant fucking stand...

[H_T_]

A few people are sitting in a bar when one guy says, "My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG."

Another guy says, "What's that?" The first guy says, "That means I am a Single, New Age Guy."

Another one says, "My name is Gary, and I am a DINK.

A girl asks, "What's that?"

He says, "That means I am a Double Income, No Kids."

A lady says, "That's nice. My name is Gertrude, and I am a WIFE."

Larry says, "A wife? What's a wife?"

She says, "That means, 'Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

 

[H_T_]

Women Q & A
Why did God invent lesbians?
So feminists wouldn't breed.


Why did the woman cross the road?
That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?


What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her in the butt


How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb?
4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.


How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
11, 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it..


What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.


Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anybody.


Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

 

[Cutiebaby]

these jokes are funny keep em coming

 

[H_T_]

The 9 Types of Girlfriends
Ms. Nice Guy - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have"
Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze,
doormat
Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly
Disadvantages: May wise up someday

Old Yeller - "You G-D spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a
bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable??"
Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell
Advantages: Pays attention to you
Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans

Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite"
Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy
Advantages: Predictable
Disadvantages: Contagious

The Bosser - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut.
Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look."
Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes,
Mom
Advantages: Often right
Disadvantages: Often right, but so what?

Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career,
goals, home, and hair color?"
Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey
Advantages: Easily soothed
Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed

Wild Woman out of Control - "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love
onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun."
Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed out
Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys
Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs

Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering
at"
Also known as: No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition,
iceberg, Snarly
Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you
Disadvantages: You will have no friends

Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel
about our relationship"
Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News,
Artistic
Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable
Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud

Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my
handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love
like crazed weasels now"
Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous
Advantages: Funny, intelligent uninhibited
Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you

 

[H_T_]

Definitions
THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes.

 

[jaded]

Hey Yasmina, how you doin girlfriend?

Dirty D!! How are you sweetie?

 

[lilred]

hey gf's...LOVE YA all.......bye sweeties

Hi GF, you forgot the roses and hearts!

 

[lilred]

I like that "Catty" term

here kitty, kitty! Meow, hiss,hiss scratch

 

[Dunk]

mods lock this thread before i puke all over my work station.