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Tink!
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So here it goes. I should be divorced no later than the 31st of this month...about damn time i know!!! I bascially bent over and took it once again. Let him be in controll of things. I found out some not so good things about him and don't him to be any part of my life what so ever unless it comes to my daughter...so here is what is happening in a nutshell. He did not want to give me a dime of his money...for me personally. though i am entitled to his retirement, he didn't want me to have it, so we agreed that it would go to my daughter. He didn't want to pay me spousal maitenance, so i said fine. He did however agree to give me $500 a month for kiara, spend another $100 a month on her himself and put $100 in her college fund. So bascially $700 in child support. He said we could leave all posessions as they were, as i was more than generous when i went and got my belongings out of our house. I left him half of what he told me i could take all of. Instead of taking the 33% of debt which i am required, i took 50%. So now we are selling our bmw which we should get about 20000 at least for. Our escalade which we owe 37000 on...so yes..if you know the market you will see in the end of that, i will have possibly 2000 to get a car with after all is said and done. He knows the kind of debt we are both in and that i have the baby to take care of...but does he care....fuck no. We are selling our house and splitting what ever comes of that debt or profit. If out house isn't sold by december, then i will start making half the payments on it.
The way things are now...which he is fully aware of...i work full time, and am looking for another job to make some quick money. I have never had to take care of myself or a child....i have probably 10000 in debt..plus all of my current bills...which the money i make doesn't cover it. His money he gives me doesn't even cover rent. Let alone she just started school, he did buy her school supplies and shirts..but she super desperatly needs pants!!! She has hit a major growing spurt and i sware all the jeans she has, has holes in them.
Oh yes..visitation..we divided everythign down the middle and i gave him joint custody..which really doesn't bother me, because he is NEVER here..NEVER around. He wasn't here last xmas and won't be here this, as he is going back to iraq.
I have been in contact with a few people he was messing around with while he was in georgia the last 7 months, one married and two under the age of 18..true or not i do not know..they could just be butt hurt and fabricating.
the morning he returned, i got my daughters cell to put my work number in it...there was a text message..(i had hit the wrong button) all i have to say is THANK GOD I DID!!!!! it was a message from him and it said "best i could do' and was a picture of his you know what!!!!!
Thank freaken God that she did not see it!!! Holey shit. But he will be going back to Iraq and out of my personal life for good!!!! Very hard, remember i have been with this man 8 years and married to him since i was 17. so doing EVERYTHING on my own is very new, very scarey and so fucken hard!!!! there are days that i wish i would just die...because i know my daughter would go some where she is better off. But her and i had a big talk last night about how she probably won't see me much because i need to get another job, and i already work 9-6 every day, so that wouldn't leave for much mommy&kiara time. She said still she would rather live with me than go anywhere else, and that she understood.
She is such a trooper..through all of this she is so strong and just rolls with the punches...at times she will tell me, maybe when daddy loves you as much as he loves me mommy he will marry you again. Breaks my freaken heart!!! She is to smart for her own good...when i am sad she says...i know why you cry mommy...and i say why and she says because daddy broke your heart. She over heard me taling on the phone about 2 weeks ago, and when i was off she was holding her little dollar bills and i said what is that for and she said because you need money and i just want to make you happy mommy...OMG FUCKING CRUSHED ME!!!! i explained to her that her being happy was all i needed to be happy...for her to never ever feel that she has to do anything to make me happy because her being my angel makes me more than happy every day...i think that was the day i really decided to pick myself up from my boot straps and get my life headed in a more positive direction.
So for all of you who asked...that is it in a nutshell....at least kiara and i are alive right!!!
The way things are now...which he is fully aware of...i work full time, and am looking for another job to make some quick money. I have never had to take care of myself or a child....i have probably 10000 in debt..plus all of my current bills...which the money i make doesn't cover it. His money he gives me doesn't even cover rent. Let alone she just started school, he did buy her school supplies and shirts..but she super desperatly needs pants!!! She has hit a major growing spurt and i sware all the jeans she has, has holes in them.
Oh yes..visitation..we divided everythign down the middle and i gave him joint custody..which really doesn't bother me, because he is NEVER here..NEVER around. He wasn't here last xmas and won't be here this, as he is going back to iraq.
I have been in contact with a few people he was messing around with while he was in georgia the last 7 months, one married and two under the age of 18..true or not i do not know..they could just be butt hurt and fabricating.
the morning he returned, i got my daughters cell to put my work number in it...there was a text message..(i had hit the wrong button) all i have to say is THANK GOD I DID!!!!! it was a message from him and it said "best i could do' and was a picture of his you know what!!!!!
Thank freaken God that she did not see it!!! Holey shit. But he will be going back to Iraq and out of my personal life for good!!!! Very hard, remember i have been with this man 8 years and married to him since i was 17. so doing EVERYTHING on my own is very new, very scarey and so fucken hard!!!! there are days that i wish i would just die...because i know my daughter would go some where she is better off. But her and i had a big talk last night about how she probably won't see me much because i need to get another job, and i already work 9-6 every day, so that wouldn't leave for much mommy&kiara time. She said still she would rather live with me than go anywhere else, and that she understood.
She is such a trooper..through all of this she is so strong and just rolls with the punches...at times she will tell me, maybe when daddy loves you as much as he loves me mommy he will marry you again. Breaks my freaken heart!!! She is to smart for her own good...when i am sad she says...i know why you cry mommy...and i say why and she says because daddy broke your heart. She over heard me taling on the phone about 2 weeks ago, and when i was off she was holding her little dollar bills and i said what is that for and she said because you need money and i just want to make you happy mommy...OMG FUCKING CRUSHED ME!!!! i explained to her that her being happy was all i needed to be happy...for her to never ever feel that she has to do anything to make me happy because her being my angel makes me more than happy every day...i think that was the day i really decided to pick myself up from my boot straps and get my life headed in a more positive direction.
So for all of you who asked...that is it in a nutshell....at least kiara and i are alive right!!!
She is the light of my life!!!! 
