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So, i had to Piss in a cup today.....

H_T_

H_T_

Da Pope
Platinum
for a drug test. anyone done that lately? they sure know how to take the fun out of taking a piss. and she requested a specific amount, wtf is that? gonna tell me how much piss to give up. draws a line on the fuckin' cup, fill it to right here. well, let me tell ya something, that ain't what is called filled. i will top that mutherfucker off and 2 more like it. and then you go into the bathroom and it's deadly quiet in there, i'm talking funeral quiet. my zipper sounded like it was hooked up to a mike, VVVVVVVVVVVVV, and i get gun shy, `specially if i think someone is listening. so i start filling it up and have to pinch it off so i don't piss all over the side of the cup and walk out and hand this nurse a doubly nasty piss container. so pinching off your dick can't be good for you, i mean if you do that to a garden hose, the thing will split after a while. and the kicker was a sign on the wall ordering you not to flush the toilet, the attendant will do that. i'm like wtf? and so i'm reaching out of habit towards the handle and i stop, then i reach again and stop and it was like i was doing the robot while pissing. now thru all of this activity, i had gotten some piss droplets on the edge of the bowl and now i wanna wipe it off, but i start thinking; this hot nurse chick is gonna think i wiped my ass or something and i just say fuck and zip up. there's gotta be a less aggrevating way to collect piss.
 
foreigngirl said:
its a lot easier for a guy to piss in a cup. Imagine the girls squating there, trying NOT to piss on our own hand...
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lol, that is pretty funny. actually, that is way past funny. i need to see this on Americas Funniest Videos.
 
lol..look at the comments on that. I thought you guys would tell me to stop being gross, just like with my farts talking
 
One time when I was at the hospital I had to give a urine sample and the bitch of a nurse pretty much accused me of putting water in the sample (I had drank quite a bit of water before because when they asked for it I didn't have to use the washroom and asked for some water) and made me give her another sample. (I hadn't put water in it)
 
jaded said:
One time when I was at the hospital I had to give a urine sample and the bitch of a nurse pretty much accused me of putting water in the sample (I had drank quite a bit of water before because when they asked for it I didn't have to use the washroom and asked for some water) and made me give her another sample. (I hadn't put water in it)
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yeah, well one time a cop asked me for a urine sample and I just cut to the just by pissing into the cup and neatly placing a joint in it (mimicing those little umbrellas and swords that you put in drinks tee hee im so good ;) )
 
LOL this is funny. But yeah I had to do this on Monday, but hey i got a new job. I go in and i'm not sure if i've even got enough piss in me. I had just woken up like 20 mins before and we all know how the first pee is. So I'm chugging water on the way there hoping I'll process enough quickly. Then this creepy dude is like "you ready?" I'm sitting there thinking " not if your coming in". He said I need you to fill to this line, go to the bathroom and don't flush. I don't get that either, but ok, so I got a little over the line just to be safe and pissed the rest in the toilet and what was left over he had me pour it in the toilet and flush.
 
Im sure the nurse loves to get out of bed springing to her feet with another day of collecting urine. Its another day at the mine. You should read about the lengths people go thinking they are going to be a test,, like urbanlegends times a thousand, lol@ goldenseal morons
 
BrothaBill said:
Im sure the nurse loves to get out of bed springing to her feet with another day of collecting urine. Its another day at the mine. You should read about the lengths people go thinking they are going to be a test,, like urbanlegends times a thousand, lol@ goldenseal morons
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someone put up th link to the "Wizinator". classic example of building a better mousetrap.
 
HumanTarget said:
someone put up th link to the "Wizinator". classic example of building a better mousetrap.
Click to expand...

So many "better" legal ways to alter your mouse that cant be detected with research chemicals, staying a mile ahead of your adversary is better than two steps
 
been almost a year now. Don't miss it a bit. They never told me how much to fill it and you simply put it in a 2 way cupboard door after while some jagoff watched u to make sure you didn't cheat.
 
is anyone going to provide jpgs, or what????
 
ceasar989 said:
yeah, well one time a cop asked me for a urine sample and I just cut to the just by pissing into the cup and neatly placing a joint in it (mimicing those little umbrellas and swords that you put in drinks tee hee im so good ;) )
Click to expand...


:lmao: that is an act of bravery in the face of law with a touch of exotic titillation.
 
"Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste."
 
mekannik said:
"Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste."
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no better way to start the morning than a tall, foamy glass of steaming hot piss.
 
I had to do one Wednesday. After my interview my new employer called me back to do paperwork, so I drive back on base, and they want a drug screen. I was fine with that but I had just taken a piss. So I get home, ask a few questions to hope I could get a definative answer about whether ephedrine will pop positive on a tox screen for methamphetamines or amphetamines. While home, I drink a liter of water and two cups of coffee. I get a few hits mostly saying no, so I head out. Thanks, Shadow and Whiskey.

I drove up to Sacred Heart Urgent Care and had to sit down, grab a number with all the sick, lame and crazy that lined the walls of the waiting room. An hour later I get to see a receptionist. She checks me in and walks me back to their "Business Health" waiting room. More paperwork to fill out including a full medical history. WTF is up with that? I just want to piss in a bottle, seeing how my bladder is about to explode.

A guy wearing a Coca-Cola insignia on his Cintas uniform comes out of the bathroom with a plastic cup full of piss and hands it to a nurse in a little cubby hole of a room. She does all the evidentiary work, has him initial his bottle, then she looks at her watch, smiles at me, closes the door and walks away.

Ten minutes later, I can't take it anymore, and run to the regular bathroom down ther hall. I piss a raging stream for what felt like 2 minutes and nearly orgasmed with sheer relief. I pinched off the fire hose mid-stream after I felt I could handle it, and walked back to the reception area, where another nurse is looking for me.

She has me lock up all my personal belongings in a filing cabinet and hands me the key. She tells me to wash my hands in the sink beside her, while she takes this blue dye into the urinalysis room and sprays it in the toilet. She comes back into the room, opens a little door on the wall and shuts a gate valve closing off water flow to that restroom. She hands me a little plastic cup and tells me to fill it up above her little temperature sticker she has placed on it. I say sure, lets see if you can draw blood from a stone, and go into the restroom. I, surprisingly, am able to urinate above the line and return to the nurse who is now waiting for me with gloves on and she fills the sample bottle with my warm piss, places a sticker over the cap and asks me to initial it. Then she tells me to wash my hands? WTF? Anyway, I finally finish my trip to Sacred Heart Urgent Care 1.5 hours after I arrive.

I get back home and Samoth, who for some strange reason has a vast knowledge about the intricacies of false positive urinalysis, gives me bad news. Supposedly, Ephedrine can cause false positive on a drug screen for amphetamines. So now I am walking around on pins and needles waiting for DHL to cart my piss to a lab in NY and my boss to tell me the results. Thanks :cow:
 
i've been pissing in a cup for almost 14 years in the army, used ephedrine tons of times, and never came up hot for amphetamines

oy....now you have ME worried...
 
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