Should i stay or should i go?

[princesa]

this post is living in an idealistic world.

lets be real. this isn't going to stop anytime soon(her having to devote herself 100% to her mother).
they're not married. If they're not going to put her anywhere she's going to need support and care for a long time. could be upwards of years. why is poboy going to make his own life miserable for this woman just to be "supportive?". If this was "the girl" then maybe but it dosn't sound like he has any intention of marrying this one. And even then, it'd be a VERY hard decision. I don't think you truly understand the ramifications of a situation like this.

and yes, sometimes it IS about you. You make decisions in life and they affect the people around you. Her decision is to take her of mother when she's clearly beyond the ability to take care of herself. She's sacrificing her own life and in turn, the life of thsoe around her. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a part of that. She has other options,she's just not choosing to exercise them.

Until you've actually seen this taken place you can't really speak of it, no offense. I've seen it first hand within my family and while it seems noble, in the end it doesn't do anyone well. I don't see how you can so adamantly berate someone over something you can't truly understand.

I've been there CW/ My grandmother had a heart attack recently and has been in bed not being able to take care of herself. We would NEVER put her in a home! We are human beings, we make sacrifices for our loved ones. You didn't grow up all by your handsome self now, did you?! I'm sure your mom stood up hours at night, took you to the doctor, fed you etc.. If she was to get sick, you wouldn't take care of her?
My best friends son has a disability, he has a dysfunctional kidney-he was born that way. The doctors told her that she should just give him up and that he would never be able to speak or walk. She didn't give up her son. She said the thought never even crossed her mind. As a matter affect her son is gonna be 15 in June and he could talk and play just like a normal kid. Yeah it's tough on her, but her BF never walked out on her. He actually tested to see if he could be a donor.

My point is, you don't walk out on someone when shit hits the fan. In this case, she is frustrated and probably very tired. This is when he is suppose to be there for her, and be supportive.

 

[billfred]

Ok ive bored you clowns enough with the situation with my ole lady and her dementia mom so Im pretty sure i dont need to recap.Well,The old woman has taken a turn for the worse and is pretty much ready to be put into a nursing home however the family wont pull the trigger on it thus causing my Gf(who cares for the woman 24 hrs a day)So much pain and stress its unreal(3am bowel accidents in the bed they have to share together because mom cant sleep alone)For the most part shes been a real trooper and dealt with it like any good human being would.However,She has gotten so mean to the point i cant even talk to her without her going into a raging fit over the most petty bullshit(Today she wouldnt take my calls all day until an hour ago because apparently i dont pay attention)Now she also lives 45 min away and making plans more than 2 x's per week is non existant.I love the girl to death but im tired of it and sometimes i just wanna walk away.What would you do?

Asian families take care of their own. I don't even think there is such a thing as old folks homes in Asia. Grandparentes live with the kids and on down.

You will not change that culture. Princesa summed it up pretty good - if you love her, stick with it. If you don't - walk away because that situation is not going to change.

 

[Cutiebaby]

ummm, I would put those all under the list of things a good boyfriend would do, not going above and beyond

Exactly!

 

[puddlemonkey]

Thanks Cw,Ive been patient and ive gone above and beyond just being a good Boyfriend but she doesnt seem to appreciate a fuckin thing that i do thats all.(cut her grass,bring her mom nice meals,always available for support etc)

Does, "above and beyond" include cheating?