alright Lestat,
I sent a letter like that a month or 2 ago to my ex. i got no response, the no response thing, just strings you along. you hope to be able to say "one more thing" that will work. its not going to happen. there is no "one more thing", that "one more thing" has to come from within THEM! the key to anyone figuring things out about you and what you meant to someone is to leave them alone. when they dont have you, and dont know you are there as a backup, they will begin to think (if you truly meant something to them). at the same time it allows you to heal. sure it feels bad to think about them every 2 minutes, so stay busy! go out do things. occupy your time with things that will keep your mind from pondering this crap. as you can see, all the thinking you have done has been because you were alone without interruption. let her have the same. let her realize you are gone. whether or not its fixable is dependent on her and you. if you can forgive and she can change to a loyal person. what the guys said before about patterns and how people will repeat it is true. the soul searching you did, helped you grow and change. if you dont allow someone to think about what they did and be remorseful they wont change either.
my advice, leave her alone. keep the letter for your own therapy. hell, journal more if it helps. but keep them. ever heard the phrase "if you love something let it go, if it comes back its your forever"? do it, let her go. continue to grow as a person, let her fall on her face or grow or whatever she needs to be a person who can commit and be a valid partner. but right now, she isnt ready to be a valid partner and you wont convince her of that. but you owe it to yourself to do your own thing, you cant convince or sell someone back to you.
i completely respect your feelings and need to reach out to her, because i said the same things, and sent it...it did nothing. i can tell you, from my experience, our circumstances are EXACTLY THE SAME. same time frame, same break up time, everything. im just in a different place than you are. i wish i had a woman bringing me food, it'd be ON! but basically, you are about 2 months behind me in thinking, if you avoid contact, you'll be fine.
let me give you a scenario and see if its true. you talk to her, email her, leave a voicemail for her...and you are on cloud 9 for about 3 days. then you start to wonder where she is, why she hasnt called or emailed back....back to depression. you start to get some distance again after hitting bottom, then another contact, back up on a high again. over and over. and you'll never get over it. guess what, its the same with her too, but she has a different position. she is checking in with you, and her high lasts about 3-5 weeks, so all that time you are in the dumps, and she is happy go lucky until a random thought about you pops in her head to call or check up on you, just to see that you are ok. shes doing it to be nice, meanwhile it devastates you.
leave it alone. enjoy the ladies you have around you. maybe its not the same, so what? people are all different. enjoy them for who they are. maybe you will find a combination of values, traits and personality that is BETTER! it can definitely happen.
email me
[email protected] or pm me if you need to vent. ive been there and done that! but man, keep your balls out of the grinder. trust me...you know who you are and what she's missing. so flaunt it to someone who wants it.
take care bro
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