She asked me to open the car door for her

[casavant]

I'll do a lot for someone I care about. I really will.

But having them ask me to open their car doors for them would be a turnoff in itself, as well as a major warning flag of things to come.

 

[Hannibal]

Simple. I do this for you, you do something for me.

I respectfully disagree. You don't do something for someone to get them to do something for you....or so they will owe" you. Or at least I don't think you should...IMO.

 

[big4life]

I respectfully disagree. You don't do something for someone to get them to do something for you....or so they will owe" you. Or at least I don't think you should...IMO.

Exactly!!

If you are doing something with the expectation that someone will "owe" you a favor in return, then that is not an act of kindness or respect.

 

[Hannibal]

Exactly!!

If you are doing something with the expectation that someone will "owe" you a favor in return, then that is not an act of kindness or respect.

"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him."-James D. Miles

Personally, when I open a door for someone, or any other tiny act of kindness..it is just that. I don't do it to put that person in my debt. I do it because that was the way I was raised...and it's who I am.

 

[Tiki]

If you want her to act like a Lady.....treat her like a Lady.

If you want her to act like a Bitch....treat her like a Bitch.

 

[casavant]

If you want her to act like a Lady.....treat her like a Lady.

If you want her to act like a Bitch....treat her like a Bitch.

I guess anal is out of the question then??

 

[Q Modo]

I respectfully disagree. You don't do something for someone to get them to do something for you....or so they will owe" you. Or at least I don't think you should...IMO.

........ Should I even bother?

This is why I said you`re missing the point. You don`t seem to be able to read into character.

The moment someone makes me feel I SHOULD do something for them, just to show them I care about them, is the moment my relationship with that person is changed. This is the way I treat everyone I consider a friend.

Unless I ask you for something, or I take something from you, I owe you NOTHING. If you give me something, or do something for me, don`t act like I owe you for it. When I give something or do something for someone, it is because I want to. Reasons can vary from- for the fun of it - to - desire to strengthen the relationship. When I give something, whatever I get back is attached to the gift. I don`t give it to get something else.
Sure I can say "I owe you one.", should someone do something for me. But that`s because I`m now more willing to go out of my way and do things for the person(stronger bond). If someone starts to make me feel like I DO owe them, I`ll either pay my debts and walk, or just walk.

I already said why I wouldn`t open the car door a girl everytime she got in or out of it. I honestly don`t think any girl who ever wanted me to do this is someone I`d care much about. I`m fairly sure I could explain this so you`d agree with me, but I`m not going to bother. Like I said, I never met a girl like this anyway... Well, I have "met" some snobs, but I would never desire a relationship with them. Weither or not I could get one is moot. I never know them well enough to know how they view this.

I`m not going to serve a girl anymore than I`d want her to serve me. If that`s what she wants, I`ll tell her to go get a slave. If a she made me feel that much obligation towards her, I`d walk.

In case you missed it, I don`t play the "I`ll do this for you, if you do something for me." game. I do however, know many people that do.

 

[cccp]

There is nothing wrong with treating your woman like a queen. Think about it: what does that make you?

JC

Kings don't serve their women, bro. They own them.