Satanic Goatslayer

[Your_Moms_Kneepads]

What makes me tick?

I have a few things that I do on a semi-regular basis to keep me up and running to my full potential. Typically, it works like this.

Sundays: Go to the thrift stores, throw boomerangs at the elderly shoppers, run home for cardio and snort three lines of draino to help with my sinuses.

Tuesdays: Drink alcohol and smoke marijuana. Practice archery with the neighbourhood pets.

Thursdays: Use megaphone to heckle the high school soccer team. Use meat tenderizer to loosen up my forearms before axe throwing practice. Eat a hobo and his dog.

Fridays: Relaxation. Compose music for the piano and spend the afternoon playing it. Rig traps for the wandering religious folks who might want to convert me. This week I'm using leg hold traps like they do for Grizzlies.

And bi-monthly I have my eyeballs shined and replaced at Toothless' place. He works dirt cheap and only charges for labour or a six pack.

What about Monday,Wenesday, and Friday?
Or is that a secret?

 

[satanic goatslayer]

M/W/F, I raise the flag of Guatemala and roll boulders down the hill towards my neighbour's chicken coop. Dinner consists of Vietnamese dog meat and a six pack of sour milk.