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Relationships and "PASTS" - do you care?

M

MattTheSkywalker

Elite Mentor
Platinum
Hi. Just a quick question for you this morning:

When you are dating someone, how much do you care about their previous sexual encounters? Is it important that he/she has been pretty selective in their sexual behavior?

Or do you say "the past is the past", and you would be cool if she (he) had a past that went all the way back to Freaknik 1983?

Just wondering.
 
i try not to ask.....but sometimes it just comes up

if i found out the chick was a ho, like Bullit's 125 served chick, it would probably be over.
 
For me, there is some consideration of the person's past. I dont base my decision to date them solely on their past tho. Unless their past is extremely promiscuous and downright raunchy. But, I am mature enough to realize that everyone has a past and at my age, most people even have children from past relationships. I do know that I want to be with someone who respects themselves. And that manifests itself in their behavior.
 
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Nope.. not at all. Id dtae a pron star.. wouldnt bother me one bit... but Im a tatol freak so Im the last person in the world who could ever judge a womans past..
 
If all I'm looking for is a nut then the past does not matter, if I think a female has a chance at longevity with me then the past plays a role.
 
Past is the past I only care about how safe the other person has been in there experiences not the number they have had.
 
Smurfy said:
For me, there is some consideration of the person's past. I dont base my decision to date them solely on their past tho. Unless their past is extremely promiscuous and downright raunchy. But, I am mature enough to realize that everyone has a past and at my age, most people even have children from past relationships. I do know that I want to be with someone who respects themselves. And that manifests itself in their behavior.
Click to expand...


I feel the very same way, and I couldn't have said it better.
 
nature vs nurture. a persons past is part of a persons nurturing. it helped shape them, and so yes, i care. direct questions arent the way to go about it though, you can create huge awkwardness
 
hey i have a past, so if she has a past, no biggie

the thing is what has been learned from that past

qt makes a good point about bein safe though
 
I'm not too concerned about the past, I only care about what happens from here on out.

Having been very promiscous in my youth, even somewhat now, I cannot judge anyone else for having done the same, even if they are still doing it while single. My only criteria is that they be monogomous with me when the relationship gets to that point.

So they've been in a few gang bangs, well, so have I. Big deal.
 
What's the point of this conversation?

I can't make that call until faced with the actual facts.

Reminds me of the Movie "Chasing Amy."

Pass on someone with a questionable past and you may just be losing out on the best relationship you could have had. Pick someone who has heretofore led a very chaste or conventional life and they may may take a dive into the deep end of the freaky deaky pool after you marry them (it's happened).

I know one thing I'm not going to change the way I act now just in case I meet some "classy broad" in the future one day who would disapprove.
 
Lumberg said:
What's the point of this conversation?

I can't make that call until faced with the actual facts.

Reminds me of the Movie "Chasing Amy."

Pass on someone with a questionable past and you may just be losing out on the best relationship you could have had. Pick someone who has heretofore led a very chaste or conventional life and they may may take a dive into the deep end of the freaky deaky pool after you marry them (it's happened).

I know one thing I'm not going to change the way I act now just in case I meet some "classy broad" in the future one day who would disapprove.
Click to expand...


I agree one gazillion percent.

I am a grown woman, I do what I want, when I want. As long as both parties have their cards on the table at the onset, what difference does it make what is in the past? I generally date men in their 40's. How many will I find that only had sex with say, 3 women? Even if it is only 2 per year since the age of 21.... do the math. Does it really matter?

As long as everyone is grown, mature, responsible and honest, the past is the past.

I especially agree with you Lumberg on the "classy guy" part. Is it my fault that some dude has only had sex with 3 women by the time they reach the age of 44? If he is cool with himself and his choices then this means he will most likely be accepting of me and my choices.
 
word, just looking for some feedback, tend to think that with people, past performance does indicate future performance and the way people behave sexually is a window into their opinion of themselves....not the only window but a window.
 
MattTheSkywalker said:
word, just looking for some feedback, tend to think that with people, past performance does indicate future performance and the way people behave sexually is a window into their opinion of themselves....not the only window but a window.
Click to expand...

This is if one is using the same context of "how you view yourself".

In some part of the world a woman and a man are considered equal. There is no such thing as a slut. As long as both man and woman are fine with themselves and are discreet - one can have hundreds of lovers and it is all good.


My take? If I want to be with one man that can not be determined by the man or a piece of paper or anything else. The only thing that will decide that is ME. I feel it is the same for the man. If there is another woman in my man's mind, his heart or his bed for more than 15 minutes then he should be with her - I refuse to compete. I think too much of myself.

Regardless of what a "slut" or "churchperson" some one is, if they want to be with me alone, then they will be with me alone. It is not for me to set the boundary. However, that person must also know full well that it goes the same for me. It goes both ways.... and this is the only way any sort of relationship can work.


Just my .02
 
I'd be selective of dating someone who I knew has done some trashy things. I'd rather just not know about it cause having images of a girl your with doing all sorts of freaky shit (such as orgies, gangbangs, and more) is just disturbing.

Maybe I'm just too much of a jealous person...because if it's me doing that stuff with a chick I wouldn't look down on her at all. But when it's not me I don't like to think of it.

If guys like me dated girls I've been with, I'd feel bad if they heard about the shit I've done with their woman.
 
I don't care now, but that's mostly because I already know I blow the others away. Most importantly, she's with me now and not much else counts.
 
MattTheSkywalker said:
Hi. Just a quick question for you this morning:

When you are dating someone, how much do you care about their previous sexual encounters? Is it important that he/she has been pretty selective in their sexual behavior?

Or do you say "the past is the past", and you would be cool if she (he) had a past that went all the way back to Freaknik 1983?

Just wondering.
Click to expand...


for me..

it would depend on:

-how much i like the girl and how seriouse i wanted the relationship to be.

-how freaky she was.

-how well dose she practice safe sex


BO-DEN
 
My past is my past, and her past is her past. That's it and that's all.

There are usually other behavior related signs that will let you know if the person is unstable, uses bad judgement, or wants to fuck everyone in sight. But I'm not going to turn someone away because of stupid college/early 20's whoring. I'm no angel myself.
 
hell yes I care about the past. once a slut always a slut!

seriously tho, I do care for 2 reasons.
1) I believe that while we as humans have the ability to grow up and learn from our mistakes, we ultimately are responsible for every decision we make.
2) I know that I have cheated on girls in the past and, even though I am a lot more "mature" now, I will always have that ability within me.

but, I guess it would depend on the girl and the situation.
 
Nope. I really don't. I don't need kinky details but I didn't sit around saving myself for him so it would be hypocritical to expect that he did.
 
MattTheSkywalker said:
word, just looking for some feedback, tend to think that with people, past performance does indicate future performance and the way people behave sexually is a window into their opinion of themselves....not the only window but a window.
Click to expand...

I disagree........my brother was a player from 16 to 24.......found a girl got married, and has been married for 8 years, wouldn't even think of fooling around on his wife. I know plenty of others who are the same.

Conversely, i know of plenty of people who had only one or two sexual partners prior to getting married who have ended up having affairs outside of their marriage.

Sexual history has little to do with it.........it's more about maturity
 
No doubt VG...

Not saying I know the Rock personally or his behavior but judging by interviews with him and his, he seems like he wouldnt cheat on her.

But in the interview I saw, he was saying how he was out going to an orgy with friends when he met his wife and decided not to go. I would assume if he was doing it that time he's done it plenty of times before.

It's a possiblity he still does that stuff by himself or with his wife, but he has kids and such so I assume he is loyal to only his wife.

Just using him as an example of VG view but I still get an uneasy feeling of thinking of details of any girl I'm with, getting rammed by someone else or a group for that matter..LOL
 
there are a few red flags:
numerous marraiges
going back to an ex numerous times
constantly gaucking at other men or women
drug/alcohol abuse
edison medicine, ie (prozac)
 
I am selective but past doesn't usually figure much into it, because I look at my best and figure who am I to judge another.Presnt actions and personality figure into wether I want to be with that person or not.
 
MattTheSkywalker said:
Hi. Just a quick question for you this morning:

When you are dating someone, how much do you care about their previous sexual encounters? Is it important that he/she has been pretty selective in their sexual behavior?

Or do you say "the past is the past", and you would be cool if she (he) had a past that went all the way back to Freaknik 1983?

Just wondering.
Click to expand...



Matt,

Just because she was getting buck wild at freaknik getting banged by Rahkim, Tyrone Malik and Rajsheed it don’t mean she’ll always yearn for big piece on black meat knocking at the door of her uterus. << Tha was a joke!
Seriously, you shouldn’t be overly concerned by a girl’s past. What is passed is passed and what should matter is how she behaves from now on. Even if she has met more dicks than the public urinal at Shea Stadium during the subway series, as long as she test negative for any cuddies the rest all comes out with some water and soap. It doesn’t matter how much cum she gurgled or how many times the dudes that used her as a jump off chick came on her face. It shouldn’t even be a thought a in your mind that she got banged and forgotten as just some freaknik slut for a few guys back in 1983, and now she is your cherished significant other half. What should matter is that YOU are the only one who’ll be giving her facials from now on, and as long as she knows how to moan and fake it well so you don’t feel less of a man since she got stretched out by a couple of big boys before your ego should be fine. . . . During sex just ask her to think about you and the security a relationship with you brings and she will moan YESSSSS even if she just feels like you are throwing a hotdog down a hall way.
 
Big Rick Rock said:
Matt,

Just because she was getting buck wild at freaknik getting banged by Rahkim, Tyrone Malik and Rajsheed it don’t mean she’ll always yearn for big piece on black meat knocking at the door of her uterus. << Tha was a joke!
Seriously, you shouldn’t be overly concerned by a girl’s past. What is passed is passed and what should matter is how she behaves from now on. Even if she has met more dicks than the public urinal at Shea Stadium during the subway series, as long as she test negative for any cuddies the rest all comes out with some water and soap. It doesn’t matter how much cum she gurgled or how many times the dudes that used her as a jump off chick came on her face. It shouldn’t even be a thought a in your mind that she got banged and forgotten as just some freaknik slut for a few guys back in 1983, and now she is your cherished significant other half. What should matter is that YOU are the only one who’ll be giving her facials from now on, and as long as she knows how to moan and fake it well so you don’t feel less of a man since she got stretched out by a couple of big boys before your ego should be fine. . . . During sex just ask her to think about you and the security a relationship with you brings and she will moan YESSSSS even if she just feels like you are throwing a hotdog down a hall way.
Click to expand...
 
She need not be a virgin.
In fact that in itself could be a negative. stress and all of the first time..

She also can't be a Skank Whore that has been with every tom dick hairy.
In 20 years, maybe 10 guys would be OK I guess, if I had to put a number on it..
 
superqt4u2nv said:
Past is the past I only care about how safe the other person has been in there experiences not the number they have had.
Click to expand...

I agree.

AND DAMN, NICE RACK!! I love seeing that avatar.
 
Big Rick Rock said:
Matt,

Just because she was getting buck wild at freaknik getting banged by Rahkim, Tyrone Malik and Rajsheed it don’t mean she’ll always yearn for big piece on black meat knocking at the door of her uterus. << Tha was a joke!
Seriously, you shouldn’t be overly concerned by a girl’s past. What is passed is passed and what should matter is how she behaves from now on. Even if she has met more dicks than the public urinal at Shea Stadium during the subway series, as long as she test negative for any cuddies the rest all comes out with some water and soap. It doesn’t matter how much cum she gurgled or how many times the dudes that used her as a jump off chick came on her face. It shouldn’t even be a thought a in your mind that she got banged and forgotten as just some freaknik slut for a few guys back in 1983, and now she is your cherished significant other half. What should matter is that YOU are the only one who’ll be giving her facials from now on, and as long as she knows how to moan and fake it well so you don’t feel less of a man since she got stretched out by a couple of big boys before your ego should be fine. . . . During sex just ask her to think about you and the security a relationship with you brings and she will moan YESSSSS even if she just feels like you are throwing a hotdog down a hall way.
Click to expand...


The only flaw I see in your perception is that she was "used" by the men for sex... and not the other way around.

Why is it ok or even a badge of honor for a man to "use" hundreds of women for sex but an extremely negative thing for a woman to "use" men for sex.

Whatever happened to the whole two consenting adults sharing their sex WITH EACH OTHER?
 
Werd said:
The only flaw I see in your perception is that she was "used" by the men for sex... and not the other way around.

Why is it ok or even a badge of honor for a man to "use" hundreds of women for sex but an extremely negative thing for a woman to "use" men for sex.

Whatever happened to the whole two consenting adults sharing their sex WITH EACH OTHER?
Click to expand...


I get used all the time. I'll try to get over it :D
 
Werd said:
The only flaw I see in your perception is that she was "used" by the men for sex... and not the other way around.

Why is it ok or even a badge of honor for a man to "use" hundreds of women for sex but an extremely negative thing for a woman to "use" men for sex.

Whatever happened to the whole two consenting adults sharing their sex WITH EACH OTHER?
Click to expand...


I didn't say they used her for sex... I said: "....how many times the dudes that used her as a jump off chick came on her face..."

Once you figure out what “Jump off” means than you’ll know what I’m talking about.
I'm sure she used them the way they used her, I'm sure she enjoyed rubbing her genitalia against the guy's otherwise she wouldn't have done it so many times with so many different almost anonymous partners.
 
Big Rick Rock said:
I didn't say they used her for sex... I said: "....how many times the dudes that used her as a jump off chick came on her face..."

Once you figure out what “Jump off” means than you’ll know what I’m talking about.
I'm sure she used them the way they used her, I'm sure she enjoyed rubbing her genitalia against the guy's otherwise she wouldn't have done it so many times with so many different almost anonymous partners.
Click to expand...

But it was ok for the guy, huh?

Answer me this. If a female is in a longterm monogamous relationship for most of her adult life will she have had more sex total or less sex than a girl who occasionally doinks random men? I mean, isn't that where that stupid hotdog down a hallway notion comes from? :rolleyes:
 
Werd said:
But it was ok for the guy, huh?

Answer me this. If a female is in a longterm monogamous relationship for most of her adult life will she have had more sex total or less sex than a girl who occasionally doinks random men? I mean, isn't that where that stupid hotdog down a hallway notion comes from? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


werd... chill. BRR is just trying to get under Matt's skin. The intention is not to degrade women or make women 'sluts' and claim men can do what they want without being a 'slut'.

Everything BRR is saying is to make MSW disgusted.
 
Werd said:
But it was ok for the guy, huh?

Answer me this. If a female is in a longterm monogamous relationship for most of her adult life will she have had more sex total or less sex than a girl who occasionally doinks random men? I mean, isn't that where that stupid hotdog down a hallway notion comes from? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...


Once brotherman Rahkeem drinks a couple of Old E's and sparks up a stank (stank: Weed laced w/ Blow) and he gets a chick in his rental Van (the spirit of Freaknik)... You damn straight something is getting beat up, bottomed out and streched out! Her next man better tie a 2x4 to his ass to keep from falling in.


PS: I'm not trying to degrade women, I think it should be fine for women to have sex with whomever they want and not be made to feel bad over it. (We would all be getting laid more often)
 
I always ending up dating girls who have a conflicting past with mine (i.e. dated my friend before or something), then it ALWAYS just eats me up and i end up losing all feelings for them and hurting theirs...
oh well, as is life.
 
It's relevant. If I take my girl to a party only to realize half the guys in the room pulled a train with her on videotape I'd kinda like some warning before the licquor (and mouths) start flowing.
 
Dial_tone said:
It's relevant. If I take my girl to a party only to realize half the guys in the room pulled a train with her on videotape I'd kinda like some warning before the licquor (and mouths) start flowing.
Click to expand...


What if one of the dudes comes up to you and says... "You are one lucky man, that's some good pussy... and she can suck a golf ball thru a garden hose too!"
 
Big Rick Rock said:
What if one of the dudes comes up to you and says... "You are one lucky man, that's some good pussy... and she can suck a golf ball thru a garden hose too!"
Click to expand...


as long as she didn't swallow it's okay. ;)
 
Big Rick Rock said:
Once brotherman Rahkeem drinks a couple of Old E's and sparks up a stank (stank: Weed laced w/ Blow) and he gets a chick in his rental Van (the spirit of Freaknik)... You damn straight something is getting beat up, bottomed out and streched out! Her next man better tie a 2x4 to his ass to keep from falling in.


PS: I'm not trying to degrade women, I think it should be fine for women to have sex with whomever they want and not be made to feel bad over it. (We would all be getting laid more often)
Click to expand...


LOL

That is a big fat fuckin' WERD to your PS there! What I have been tryin' to tell guys for quite some time.

Ah well.... at least some guys get it. :qt:

*NARF*
 
Werd said:
LOL

That is a big fat fuckin' WERD to your PS there! What I have been tryin' to tell guys for quite some time.

Ah well.... at least some guys get it. :qt:

*NARF*
Click to expand...


Girl, I figured that out back in Jr High... I never bragged about the chicks I banged, girls knew Ricky didn't fuck and tell... I got a lot of poontang in HS by keeping my mouth shut.
 
The Ejaculator said:
werd... chill. BRR is just trying to get under Matt's skin. The intention is not to degrade women or make women 'sluts' and claim men can do what they want without being a 'slut'.

Everything BRR is saying is to make MSW disgusted.
Click to expand...

lol

funny part is, this has nothing and I mean nothing to do with anything in my own life right now.

And after three years in the Army I saw every disgusting stupid human trick there is.

Un-offendable.
 
MattTheSkywalker said:
lol

funny part is, this has nothing and I mean nothing to do with anything in my own life right now.
It will be ok Matt.... Just close your eyes and count to 10... Give her some Anavar and have her do Keggels it will feel like new after a few months.
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
 
A few years ago I had gone out on a few dates with a guy that I found out rather quickly was quite promiscuous. It bothered me that every where we went he ran into someone he'd had sex with, mostly married women and young girls. While he never lied about it I still found it unacceptable for my tastes.

It was offensive much because of my own ego and the horror to me to walk down the street with a man that everyone else already had a piece of and most likely still entertaining a piece.
 
Yes but along time ago I dated a woman that had been a prostitute it didn't last but what she had done and who, and I ran into alot of who's mattered little compared to the person she had grown into.
 
Barak said:
Yes but along time ago I dated a woman that had been a prostitute it didn't last but what she had done and who, and I ran into alot of who's mattered little compared to the person she had grown into.
Click to expand...


That's all fine a good if the person grows into someone different.
The guy I had went out with a few times is still a slut after 3-4 years and even after marrying the girl he got pregnant.
 
Werd said:
LOL

That is a big fat fuckin' WERD to your PS there! What I have been tryin' to tell guys for quite some time.

Ah well.... at least some guys get it. :qt:

*NARF*
Click to expand...

i'd rather be used
easier to not be a jerk
;)
the best, is when girls tell each other which guy can bang it out, the friends will hunt you out! :qt: :chomp:
 
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