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Quick - are racoons dangerous?

KillahBee

KillahBee

New member
cause there is one about the size of star jones just hiding under my fucking car right now and it's the only thing standing between me and the gym. aren't racoons the animals that always jump on people in slapstick comedies and attack them? should I throw my apple at it?
 
Thanks for the help guys. I'm going outside to take care of business. If I don't post again it means it was my time. In that case, George, please give half my karma to gonelifting (it means so much to the poor guy) and the other half to this member: Madfatkid,.
 
They can be mean as hell when provoked. But come on, it is a little animal compared to you. get your ass to the gym!
BTW the apple might distract it enough to make your escape. Just make sure you throw it the fruit then run screaming like a little girl into your car.

Have a good workout.

Is Racoon wrestling considere a leg workout or upper body? Just curious?
 
mountain muscle said:
They can be mean as hell when provoked. But come on, it is a little animal compared to you. get your ass to the gym!
BTW the apple might distract it enough to make your escape. Just make sure you throw it the fruit then run screaming like a little girl into your car.

Have a good workout.

Is Racoon wrestling considere a leg workout or upper body? Just curious?
Click to expand...

it's cool maing, the fucker just wouldn't leave and I needed to get my squat-rack bicep curls in, so I said fuck it. I tiptoed towards my car, attempting to execute a sneak attack - big mistake. fucker played possum with me and at the last minute let out a screach similar to nails on a chalkboard and leaped at me with its little fangs ready to penetrate. luckily he went for my left pectoral, which is basically like trying to bite concrete. once he hit the inpenetrable wall that is my bosom, he dropped on the ground. I swiftly stepped forward and kicked him in his little coon sack, then reached down into my shaker bottle and threw a handful of protein powder and dextrose into his eyes. while he was trying to regain some sense of reality, I bent down, picked him up and did some overhead kickbacks using him as my DB. quickly moved into shot put stance and tossed the fucker into my neighbor's pool. game, set, match.
 
KillahBee said:
it's cool maing, the fucker just wouldn't leave and I needed to get my squat-rack bicep curls in, so I said fuck it. I tiptoed towards my car, attempting to execute a sneak attack - big mistake. fucker played possum with me and at the last minute let out a screach similar to nails on a chalkboard and leaped at me with its little fangs ready to penetrate. luckily he went for my left pectoral, which is basically like trying to bite concrete. once he hit the inpenetrable wall that is my bosom, he dropped on the ground. I swiftly stepped forward and kicked him in his little coon sack, then reached down into my shaker bottle and threw a handful of protein powder and dextrose into his eyes. while he was trying to regain some sense of reality, I bent down, picked him up and did some overhead kickbacks using him as my DB. quickly moved into shot put stance and tossed the fucker into my neighbor's pool. game, set, match.
Click to expand...
this post has been forwarded to PETA for further investigation
 
KillahBee said:
it's cool maing, the fucker just wouldn't leave and I needed to get my squat-rack bicep curls in, so I said fuck it. I tiptoed towards my car, attempting to execute a sneak attack - big mistake. fucker played possum with me and at the last minute let out a screach similar to nails on a chalkboard and leaped at me with its little fangs ready to penetrate. luckily he went for my left pectoral, which is basically like trying to bite concrete. once he hit the inpenetrable wall that is my bosom, he dropped on the ground. I swiftly stepped forward and kicked him in his little coon sack, then reached down into my shaker bottle and threw a handful of protein powder and dextrose into his eyes. while he was trying to regain some sense of reality, I bent down, picked him up and did some overhead kickbacks using him as my DB. quickly moved into shot put stance and tossed the fucker into my neighbor's pool. game, set, match.
Click to expand...

Good show man. I hereby dub thee:
Coon-Puttin' Champion of <insert your county here>

You didn't by chance get a precise weight of the racoon and distance thrown did you?

For the books of course.
 
mountain muscle said:
Good show man. I hereby dub thee:
Coon-Puttin' Champion of <insert your county here>

You didn't by chance get a precise weight of the racoon and distance thrown did you?

For the books of course.
Click to expand...


thanks broham. my neighbor is getting the precise measurements as we speak. once I lear Spanish I'll report back on what he said.
 
KillahBee said:
it's cool maing, the fucker just wouldn't leave and I needed to get my squat-rack bicep curls in, so I said fuck it. I tiptoed towards my car, attempting to execute a sneak attack - big mistake. fucker played possum with me and at the last minute let out a screach similar to nails on a chalkboard and leaped at me with its little fangs ready to penetrate. luckily he went for my left pectoral, which is basically like trying to bite concrete. once he hit the inpenetrable wall that is my bosom, he dropped on the ground. I swiftly stepped forward and kicked him in his little coon sack, then reached down into my shaker bottle and threw a handful of protein powder and dextrose into his eyes. while he was trying to regain some sense of reality, I bent down, picked him up and did some overhead kickbacks using him as my DB. quickly moved into shot put stance and tossed the fucker into my neighbor's pool. game, set, match.
Click to expand...

LMAO!!
 
Bor? One time there was a raccoon under my mom's car and it jumped out and bit her in the leg pretty badly. She had to go to the hospital and shit to make she she didn't have AIDS. Or rabies. Whatever the fuck raccoons have.

She has a pretty ugly scar too. And by scar, I mean "son."
 
a couple of years ago when i was at work (security guard) while i was on ground patrol i noticed a baby coon wandering around in circles by an old building. i'm 100% sure it had dystemper(sp?). anyways i went back to the office and got a garbage sack and a nice sized club to put it out of it's misery. when i got back to the baby coon it was by the inmate trustee unit and so i gave it two good whacks to the head to make sure it was kaput. the inmates tried turning me into to the humane society becuz i whacked it twice instead of just once. i didn't get in trouble tho
 
Devastation said:
a couple of years ago when i was at work (security guard) while i was on ground patrol i noticed a baby coon wandering around in circles by an old building. i'm 100% sure it had dystemper(sp?). anyways i went back to the office and got a garbage sack and a nice sized club to put it out of it's misery. when i got back to the baby coon it was by the inmate trustee unit and so i gave it two good whacks to the head to make sure it was kaput. the inmates tried turning me into to the humane society becuz i whacked it twice instead of just once. i didn't get in trouble tho
Click to expand...

you must live in the south. That shit wouldn't be tolerated up here.
 
Devastation said:
a couple of years ago when i was at work (security guard) while i was on ground patrol i noticed a baby coon wandering around in circles by an old building. i'm 100% sure it had dystemper(sp?). anyways i went back to the office and got a garbage sack and a nice sized club to put it out of it's misery. when i got back to the baby coon it was by the inmate trustee unit and so i gave it two good whacks to the head to make sure it was kaput. the inmates tried turning me into to the humane society becuz i whacked it twice instead of just once. i didn't get in trouble tho
Click to expand...
Heh. And D is with YOU?
 
Devastation said:
yes, south dakota lol
Click to expand...


well I might need to call in the reinforcements if the little fucker comes back tomorrow morning with his crew. I'll PM you if I need you to bring your honky ass down here. Bring Dakotah too, so I can have the victory sex I deserve. ;)
 
KillahBee said:
. If I don't post again it means it was my time. In that case, George, please give half my karma to gonelifting ,.
Click to expand...


I hope he died. jk


















no



damn it yes! DAMN!
 
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