Pregnancy...I need advice

[want2bhot]

OK, so I've been working my ass off in the gym and losing weight. I am on a momentum of fitness. I am doing everything I am supposed to do hitting the gym 5-6 days a week, eating a clean diet....Ok, so then my husband tells me he wants us to try to have another baby.....URRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.....

See, my problem isn't with having another baby, that would be a blessing, but I have to have a baby INVETRO, which means fertilization meds, and all that crap, which means weight gain. This is on top of getting pregnant and then gaining pregnancy weight....

I don't know ladies, I need some help here........Half of me wants to have another baby, but half of me doesn't want to, because of all the progress of have achieved so far....

What would you do???????????

 

[Tink!]

I would have to say follow your heart...which is truly going to make you more happy?? A baby, or looking good??? Though it would be a bit discouraging, you could always start over on making your body to how you want it. You will some day run out of time to have a baby. But you should do what you truly want..not just what is going to make every one else happy. Good luck to you. I am thankful i am not in your position sweetie! Hang in there!

 

[scorpiogirl]

Well, your husband wouldn't like me...lol.

I made this same decision a few years ago. Pregnancy is not my friend. I hated every moment of it and felt that it destroyed my body. It actually didn't, but I hold estrogenic fat in my thighs and butt and it's a really hard to get off.

Anyway - I was in a new relationship and before we got serious, I decided to have a tubal ligation done. He wasn't happy with me, but it was something I was VERY serious about, and I wasn't going to let anyone stand in the way of something that is/was so important to me.

I may be totally vain - but at least I can admit it..lol. I wasn't going to let pregnancy ruin my body. I've always been petite and I trained like hell to get the "athletic" body I wanted. It took me YEARS.

This is just MY story. You are married, I was not. You may tolerate pregnancy better than I did - mentally and physically. For you it may be a "small" sacrifice, for me it was not.

One thing .... you REALLY need to think about this and express your concerns to your husband. Although he may think it's selfish (and most men would), it's important to you. Be sure of what you decide. Make sure there is no hesitation whatever it is. Although you are married and have a husband you make decisions with, your body is yours.

I sooooo feel for you right now.....

 

[courtneybcca]

follow your heart.. maybe since you are not in a hurry you could try to do it the old fashion way... you are working out and eating right so your body is healthy right now and maybe just maybe you wouldn't need all the meds... Just a thought

 

[want2bhot]

Unfortunately, there is no other choice for me, I had a tubal before and my tubes are fused together, with our last child, we did a reversal and it didn't take, so my only chance of pregnancy is INVETRO.

It isn't that I don't think I could start over and lose the weight again..Its just that I am one of those women who gain alot of weight with pregnancy, even if I stay on a healthy diet, I still gain alot of weight...No less than 50 lbs...I am not even kidding you...I balloon up with pregnancy....See, this is my second husband, we have one child who is our first together, I have 2 from a previous marriage, so I can see my husbands desire to have another of his own...Plus my years are getting to cut off, I am 37 years old, my doctor says I am as healthy as a horse, and its good that I am exercising so much, so I shouldn't have any problems.....

I guess I just feel like I want to be selfish right now.....I don't know....I just really have to think about it more....

 

[musclemom]

Hindsight being 20/20, and me going on 41 ...

If you think you're going to definitely want another child anyway, it ain't like it gets EASIER as you get older, that's for sure. If you already have fertility problems those are only going to be compounded as you get older.

I only have one biological child and IF I had been married to a different (better) partner, I would have loved to have had a couple of kids. Now I am with a man who I would have loved to had children with and it's not an option (he's a bit older than me AND had a vasectomy before I met him so, umm, nope, don't think that's happening).

Sometimes I get the baby bug and there's a thorough dose of regret for what will never be there ...

And I truly HATED being pregnant too, it did NOT agree with my body and was just about the most miserable 9 months I ever spent because for me it was like having PMS x10 the entire time, so it's not like I'm one of these gushy mommy-types.

But since you're asking for opinions ... Good luck in whatever you decide!

 

[want2bhot]

Thank you for your comments, I really appreciate it....I think I will need a little more time to stew on this.....So we'll see what happens...

Hindsight being 20/20, and me going on 41 ...

If you think you're going to definitely want another child anyway, it ain't like it gets EASIER as you get older, that's for sure. If you already have fertility problems those are only going to be compounded as you get older.

I only have one biological child and IF I had been married to a different (better) partner, I would have loved to have had a couple of kids. Now I am with a man who I would have loved to had children with and it's not an option (he's a bit older than me AND had a vasectomy before I met him so, umm, nope, don't think that's happening).

Sometimes I get the baby bug and there's a thorough dose of regret for what will never be there ...

And I truly HATED being pregnant too, it did NOT agree with my body and was just about the most miserable 9 months I ever spent because for me it was like having PMS x10 the entire time, so it's not like I'm one of these gushy mommy-types.

But since you're asking for opinions ... Good luck in whatever you decide!

 

[velvett]

I've never had kids but I do know that it takes your body nearly two years to recooperate to being pregnant and birthing a child. Now you're on the fence about having a child, getting pregnant will be a task but is doable and you already know what you will be in for as far as getting and being pregnant and post pregnancy.

I would take the next 6-9 months (or whatever you need) to continue with your diet and excercise while you consider what side of the baby fence you think you will choose to be on.

Should you choose to become pregnant again and it's 6, 9, 12 months from now and you will be in even a better state of fitness then you are now. Yes, you might lose weight to only gain weight but your body composition will still be better and even though you might feel like you're going backwards you really will not.

 

[vachelle72]

Unfortunately, there is no other choice for me, I had a tubal before and my tubes are fused together, with our last child, we did a reversal and it didn't take, so my only chance of pregnancy is INVETRO.

It isn't that I don't think I could start over and lose the weight again..Its just that I am one of those women who gain alot of weight with pregnancy, even if I stay on a healthy diet, I still gain alot of weight...No less than 50 lbs...I am not even kidding you...I balloon up with pregnancy....See, this is my second husband, we have one child who is our first together, I have 2 from a previous marriage, so I can see my husbands desire to have another of his own...Plus my years are getting to cut off, I am 37 years old, my doctor says I am as healthy as a horse, and its good that I am exercising so much, so I shouldn't have any problems.....

I guess I just feel like I want to be selfish right now.....I don't know....I just really have to think about it more....

Is it really about what your body will look like , or what you have to put your body through in order to get pregnant? Plus the stress of adding a 4th child to the household.

I had a girlfriend that went through invetro 5 times before becoming pregnant with triplets , and the process was not a "wonderful" experience , besides all the drugs , plus she miscarried one , the bed rest , bloating , weight gain and so forth. I thought to my self is it worth it , and now that the babies are here , she is extremely happy but her body , hormonally and physically is out of wack!

I don't think it is wrong or selfish to not want to put yourself through that experience again , you have three already that need mommie to stay healthy physically and mentally , and can you do that in the process of trying to conceive a 4th?

 

[musclemom]

Unfortunately, there is no other choice for me, I had a tubal before and my tubes are fused together, with our last child, we did a reversal and it didn't take, so my only chance of pregnancy is INVETRO.

It isn't that I don't think I could start over and lose the weight again..Its just that I am one of those women who gain alot of weight with pregnancy, even if I stay on a healthy diet, I still gain alot of weight...No less than 50 lbs...I am not even kidding you...I balloon up with pregnancy....See, this is my second husband, we have one child who is our first together, I have 2 from a previous marriage, so I can see my husbands desire to have another of his own...Plus my years are getting to cut off, I am 37 years old, my doctor says I am as healthy as a horse, and its good that I am exercising so much, so I shouldn't have any problems.......

When I posted my comment this comment ^ of yours hadn't shown up yet for me, I gotta ask, the child you and your current husband had together, girl?

Anyway, I didn't realize you already had three and were 37 ... for some reason I had a different scenario in my mind ... anyway, here's another thought (talk about playing Devil's advocate), anyway, should you decide to opt for another kid you do realize you're going to be 56, at MINIMUM, when that little rug rat hits 18? Which means, potentially, you could be 54 and trying to teach your 16 year old to drive? Here's a really chilling thought, how about being 51 and dealing with menopause when your teen is 13 and dealing with puberty (it could happen and OH MY GOD talk about hormone hell) ... or 60 when your child graduates from 4 year college ... (these are thoughts my husband actually uses as a psychological bucket of ice water on me with when I start going all googly over the idea of a baby; hey, I got a credit card, there's sperm banks ...).

Just something else to take into consideration in addition to all the other little irons you have in your fire.

Do what I did, go to the shelter and adopt a pet