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SofaGeorge
New member
I guess I should start out by stating the fact:
My girlfriend is a twinky. She's a nice twinky. Actually she's a really cool twinky. She's smart as hell, funny, insightful, mature, understanding... and hot as hell looking...
...but she is still a twinky.
She benches 70 lbs for 6 reps. She can only squat 95 lbs... and her idea of an after workout calorie fest is to get sushi at the twinky sushi place.
For the last two years that I've been living with her we've been going to a twinky gym. I tried to get her to go to a hardcore gym... but she didn't like the way it 'smelled' and it was 'dirty' and stuff like that... oh yeah... and it was 'really dark and dinghy.' The equipment all looked like it had 'greasy stuff' on it. So I compromised... we went to the gym she wanted to go to... you know the kind... all the women are twinkies using the stairmaster while they wear colored butt floss. The guys are all twinkies barely curling 50 lbs for reps. No one but me ever used the squat rack or did deads in the entire gym... and the skinny ass twinky trainers all kept trying to buddy up with me then ask me if I could hook them up with juice. It was twinky twinky twinky central.
My life wasn't always like this. My wife was an amateur competitor... hardcore. She was one of those balls-to-the-walls training partners who would put the 140 lbs dumbells on your knees when you did bench sets... she was busting out sets of 8 curls on her own with 80 lbs... and she and her girlfriends all went out to celebrate when one of them broke 200 lbs on their bench. We worked out at Gold's Venice... the Mecca... and getting up at 4:30 am to go work out was just what you did before breakfast.
Now my girlfriend knew I wasn't exactly happy at our current gym... so a little while ago she told me she had a surprise... a new gym was opening up really close to her work... much more convenient than the one we were going to... and it was a hardcore gym. She told me she had switched our memberships as a surprise.
I was thrilled. I was so ready to get out fo that damn twinky farm I almost cried... but then...
...today I went to workout for the first time at our new 'hardcore' gym.
It was worse than the last twinky gym. They didn't even have a squat rack. The dumbbells only go up to 100 lbs. There is no floor space to deadlift. There is only one curl bar in the whole gym. The two yahoos that they call trainers each... no joke... had maybe 13" arms.
My girlfriend was all beaming and happy as she looked around the room. It was exactly the kind of butt floss Barbie... aerobics room... everything's clean place that she would love. They even had hanging plants and a 'garden botique' barstool juice bar.
I didn't want to show any disappointment... so I casually asked her, "How did you know this was a hardcore gym?" She said, "I told the guy at the membership desk that my boyfriend wanted a hardcore gym... and he said this was one."
She is kind. She is smart. She is generous of heart and spirit. She loves me and she treats me with love each day...
...and she has me working out at the worst twinky gym I've ever seen in my life.
Please console me. I love a twinky.
My girlfriend is a twinky. She's a nice twinky. Actually she's a really cool twinky. She's smart as hell, funny, insightful, mature, understanding... and hot as hell looking...
...but she is still a twinky.
She benches 70 lbs for 6 reps. She can only squat 95 lbs... and her idea of an after workout calorie fest is to get sushi at the twinky sushi place.
For the last two years that I've been living with her we've been going to a twinky gym. I tried to get her to go to a hardcore gym... but she didn't like the way it 'smelled' and it was 'dirty' and stuff like that... oh yeah... and it was 'really dark and dinghy.' The equipment all looked like it had 'greasy stuff' on it. So I compromised... we went to the gym she wanted to go to... you know the kind... all the women are twinkies using the stairmaster while they wear colored butt floss. The guys are all twinkies barely curling 50 lbs for reps. No one but me ever used the squat rack or did deads in the entire gym... and the skinny ass twinky trainers all kept trying to buddy up with me then ask me if I could hook them up with juice. It was twinky twinky twinky central.
My life wasn't always like this. My wife was an amateur competitor... hardcore. She was one of those balls-to-the-walls training partners who would put the 140 lbs dumbells on your knees when you did bench sets... she was busting out sets of 8 curls on her own with 80 lbs... and she and her girlfriends all went out to celebrate when one of them broke 200 lbs on their bench. We worked out at Gold's Venice... the Mecca... and getting up at 4:30 am to go work out was just what you did before breakfast.
Now my girlfriend knew I wasn't exactly happy at our current gym... so a little while ago she told me she had a surprise... a new gym was opening up really close to her work... much more convenient than the one we were going to... and it was a hardcore gym. She told me she had switched our memberships as a surprise.
I was thrilled. I was so ready to get out fo that damn twinky farm I almost cried... but then...
...today I went to workout for the first time at our new 'hardcore' gym.
It was worse than the last twinky gym. They didn't even have a squat rack. The dumbbells only go up to 100 lbs. There is no floor space to deadlift. There is only one curl bar in the whole gym. The two yahoos that they call trainers each... no joke... had maybe 13" arms.
My girlfriend was all beaming and happy as she looked around the room. It was exactly the kind of butt floss Barbie... aerobics room... everything's clean place that she would love. They even had hanging plants and a 'garden botique' barstool juice bar.
I didn't want to show any disappointment... so I casually asked her, "How did you know this was a hardcore gym?" She said, "I told the guy at the membership desk that my boyfriend wanted a hardcore gym... and he said this was one."
She is kind. She is smart. She is generous of heart and spirit. She loves me and she treats me with love each day...
...and she has me working out at the worst twinky gym I've ever seen in my life.
Please console me. I love a twinky. 
I wish #3 was a yes though. 
