Parents, and those who plan on having kids....to SPANK or not to SPANK?

[Warik]

When I was younger, I cursed at my mom once. She slapped me on the mouth.

I never cursed at my mom again.

When I was younger, I disrespected my dad once. He introduced me to his hand (or was it his belt?)

I never disrespected my dad again.

When I am a father, and it comes to disobedience, I will most likely try to talk to my child first since I'm not a violent person and would rather have my child's respect than fear. But of course, when one method fails you must employ the next.

You should never be afraid or unwilling to discipline your kid.

You'll eventually get to the point where a misbehaving child will sit down and shut up once he sees daddy stand up with "that look" on his face... and then you will proudly smile.

-Warik

 

[Y_lifter]

Originally posted by Warik
You'll eventually get to the point where a misbehaving child will sit down and shut up once he sees daddy stand up with "that look" on his face...

Or only have to reach for the drawer where the wooden spoons are kept ..

 

[Night Fly]

I am all for spanking, but definitely know that there is a difference between just spanking and knocking the crap out of a kid. I think that using that as a disciplinary measure helps more than just 'talking things out'...like Raina said. Only certain things can be taken care of when 'talked about' but others...a good spanking will get a child to listen...or just realize that they don't need to do that anymore.

Parents shouldn't have to be afraid to discipline their children.

 

[c-sharp minor]

My g/f has a 12 yr old son. He treats his mom like shit, when I'm not around. He has never been physically disciplined in his life. His mom is in a wheelchair so he knows he can get the better of her.

2 weeks ago she handed him a blanket to put beside him on the couch. He wouldn't do it. She got upset and thew it on the couch beside him. He got angry and got up and threw a plastic table at my g/f who was siiting on the couch.

I just came downstairs at that time and saw the broken table and mess on the living room floor. She told me what happened and I got VERY angry. I went to the bathroom where he was and grabbed him by the shoulder and yelled at him. I was going to drag him into the living room to repair the table and clean up the mess he made.

As soon as I grabbed him he started screaming and crying. I left him alone and cleaned the mess myself. He ran out the door crying and left for school. The school got child and family services involved and they met while I was working. The kid told them I hit him with a fist, even though he never got touched. The counsellors didn't believe him, thank god.

We now have to set up counselling for him. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the insolent and rude behavior this last year.

His mother wouldn't let me discipline him when he was younger and now he is getting out of hand.

 

[HumorMe]

Yes we spank our kids. It's very hard on me mentally but it has to be done.

I never understood what my father was talking about while he spanked us saying, "This is hurting me more than it is hurting you!" It always felt like it was hurting me more though.

I now understand what he was talking about when I started spanking my kids. It breaks my heart but like I said, it has to be done.

C-Sharp has brought up the controversy over disciplining a child that is not your own. I feel sorry for those caught in that situation. I know you must have to bite a hole through your lip while observing certain behaviors of those kind of kids. I do not believe I could handle disrespect coming from them and not being able to do anything about it.

 

[Thaibox]

Every one of the responses on this thread was intelligent and reasonable. Not one person barked a futile argument against spanking. This makes me happy, but......

Why does the general population appear to be the exact opposite?

 

[spongebob]

spanking your kids is barbaric and cruel. you should talk to your kids.

i find that locking kids in the closet seems to work fine. typically two hours will do.

 

[huntmaster]

Deffinitely Spank.

And I dont believe in threatening and not following through either--this teaches kids to expect to be able to do wrong and then they will get a second chance--no second chance here--my kids do wrong, I will tell them like my father told me: "Get the Belt"

I thank him for it now. When he said it was going to happen--it happened--there was no getting out of it, and I believe that is the way it should be.

 

[circusgirl]

When people object to spanking you have to understand where they are coming from.
MANY people have been seriously physically abused by their parents under the excuse of "spanking" or "discipline". They then view ANY justification of controlled, not-particularly-painful corporal punishment as being a justification of kicking the crap out of a kid.

My mom would slap me hard on the wrist if I did something wrong when I was a kid. She would loudly say NO and also tell me how disappointed she was in my behaviour. I love and respect my mom and I always felt ashamed for disappointing her rather than angry. My mom had the right idea. I was not so much afraid of the physical pain of being hit on the wrist (it don't hurt much to be honest), but afraid of disappointing and upsetting my mom.

My dad would beat the living shit out of me whenever I got in the way of him living his life. As far as he was concerned, I was his personal property, and I had to do exactly everything I was told immediately, never ask, never question, never say "why", never disagree, never hold a contrary opinion on anything, never have a personality trait or beahviour he didn't totally approve of. It never struck him that I was a human being, not a pet or a posession. He spent little if any time actually putting any work into bringing up his family. Basically, he decided what suited him, and if everyone didn't just go along with it, he would throw a tantrum and beat the shit out of me and my brother until we were too scared to object. My mom would cry and ask him to be nice to her, because she was deathly afraid of him. I hated him then, I hate him now, and I will always hate him.

That kind of experience is what makes SO MANY people anti-corporal punishment, especially if that is ALL they experienced as kids. I got to see both sides of the coin, so I can tell the difference. Please try to understand where some of these "liberals" are coming from. Incidentally, a lot of delinquents are from violent homes...

circusgirl

 

[THeMaCHinE]

Good points circusgirl.