Open relationships: Your opinion.

[nimbus]

This is interesting, because i actually think you may have a point in some cases, but not most. In most cases it is not about 'compromising the integrity of the relationship' (because it simply doesn't) or about noy being able to commit emotionally. As i've already said, i think that people in open relationships are far closer emotionally than those in more traditional relationships. There are no lies, jealousy or insecurity - instead they just share what is fun and don't compromise anything in doing so because frankly with anyone else, sex is just sex.

so you the think that sex is the only source of lies, jealousy, and insecurity in a relationship?

 

[H_T_]

some funny shit in here.....basically, this is how communicable diseases are spread and you're trying to justify it....i guess we really are evolved, after all, cuz this is all happening right now anyway.....

 

[Gymgurl]

Maybe if more Daddy's were getting a little discreet side pussy the divorce rate would drop and more kids would live in two-parent households.

OMG I just choked on my coffee

 

[biteme]

OMG I just choked on my coffee

I thought it was pretty funny too.

 

[Cal_21]

I thought it was pretty funny too.

This guy...


http://youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

I wanna hug

 

[cindylou]

Yes, you are correct here.

or MAYBE - JUST MAYBE husbands could love their wives a little more and take them for granted less - there would be fewer divorces.

 

[EnderJE]

or MAYBE - JUST MAYBE husbands could love their wives a little more and take them for granted less - there would be fewer divorces.

Nope.

But seriously, I think that both sides could / should love their SO a little more. The problem is that people always change.

 

[jd_uk]

so you the think that sex is the only source of lies, jealousy, and insecurity in a relationship?

Nope i didn't say that. But in traditional relationships, this insecurity/jealousy is often prevalent due to little 'white lies' designed not to hurt the other partners feelings. I'm always amazed by it anyway but at the same time i see why.

 

[jd_uk]

some funny shit in here.....basically, this is how communicable diseases are spread and you're trying to justify it....i guess we really are evolved, after all, cuz this is all happening right now anyway.....

Diseases are easily prevented if safe sex is practiced but i know many people in traditional relationships who cheat on their partners and don't practice safe sex. That to me is very wrong. Not only is it lying but it's dangerous. I have no need to ever lie and i'm very health conscious so so i'm not promoting or justifying what you said.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I think you're misunderstanding. I'm not talking about getting bored. Also i never said anything was a necessity. Best to end this discussion here.

OK... You are entitled to your opinion and it may be the opinion of most, but that doesnt make it FACT.



I was monogomous for 13 1/2 years never once even fantasized about kissing another man (fantasy is quite healthy) and because I didn't know any better (about what being treated poorly was as opposed to be treated well) I honestly thought that I was fulfilled. If I wasn't I still would have remained faithfull as I PERSONALLY have an issue with sex w/others outside of the confines of a commitment, even if it is consentual. That just doesn't work for me.

I believe that there are other board members who have managed to remain monogomous without being miserable or unfulfilled so please remember that just because our opinions are not in alignment with the ones that you are seeking that doesn't mean that they are less valid.

I find it an interesting turn of events that now my husband claims that he wouldn't want to have any other women in our bed (the conversation came up A LOT in the first several months)... I believe he is being honest, no reason to believe otherwise. I wonder what it was that changed his mind after 30 years of supposedly "happy" or at least "workable" open relationships?

 

[javaguru]

or MAYBE - JUST MAYBE husbands could love their wives a little more and take them for granted less - there would be fewer divorces.

That seems to be a primary problem in all LTR's I've seen and it works both ways.

 

[cindylou]

Yep it's their wifely duty to give up the pussy at least once per day on average. If they fail in this duty, that's when men mostly stray.. I don't have a need to stray because all my needs are met.

I think its our duty to give it up whenever they want it as long as we are not sick or injured.

(if you want to affair proof a marriage)

Why do you think that us women stray?


P.S. We dont feel loved or we dont get enough attention. Yes, it all is about attention. Just accept it and give it to us already or we will find someone who will! lmao!!

 

[Bikini Mod]

I think its our duty to give it up whenever they want it as long as we are not sick or injured.

(if you want to affair proof a marriage)

Why do you think that us women stray?


P.S. We dont feel loved or we dont get enough attention. Yes, it all is about attention. Just accept it and give it to us already or we will find someone who will! lmao!!

True true... if a woman ain't givin up the nanni (barring physical ailment or severe emotional distress) to her beloved then he is just going about asking the wrong way.

 

[H_T_]

Diseases are easily prevented if safe sex is practiced but i know many people in traditional relationships who cheat on their partners and don't practice safe sex. That to me is very wrong. Not only is it lying but it's dangerous. I have no need to ever lie and i'm very health conscious so so i'm not promoting or justifying what you said.

Africa is pretty open with it's relationship ideals. but i digress....

 

[jd_uk]

Africa is pretty open with it's relationship ideals. but i digress....

You're right that is quite some digression. Quite meaningless to this discussion in fact.

 

[Grumpy Old Man]

I think its our duty to give it up whenever they want it as long as we are not sick or injured.

(if you want to affair proof a marriage)

Why do you think that us women stray?


P.S. We dont feel loved or we dont get enough attention. Yes, it all is about attention. Just accept it and give it to us already or we will find someone who will! lmao!!

Duty? Well, maybe men just don't pay enough attention to the relationship. All LTR's need constant care. If a man takes more time to pick out a tool at sears than he spends doing something for his partner there is a problem. If a woman spends more time in Victoria's Secret picking a new thong than doing something for her partner then there is a problem.

All relationships need to be constantly fine tuned and both parties have to work on every aspect of the daily grind not becoming complacent. Before you realize it you grow apart and can't figure out WTF happened.. Sadly this happens all too often.

If you had a cute puppy running around or a fish in a tank I doubt you would neglect to feed either one for months on end. This is the same as a relationship. Except usually your partner doesn't have an accident on the living room carpet..

As far as ass goes, I want it a couple times a day, but, I have stress, long hours and the damn drive-up window wears on me.

BM is such a great partner we work on our more than stess filled life every day. ( the nights seem to take care of themselves)

As far as inviting another person in our relationship. We have that opportunity every week, but I have enough to deal with just taking care of my wife. No others need apply. For some this works, for me it did, I am tired of that game.

 

[jd_uk]

I believe that there are other board members who have managed to remain monogomous without being miserable or unfulfilled so please remember that just because our opinions are not in alignment with the ones that you are seeking that doesn't mean that they are less valid.

Again i don't believe i have said this which is why there is no point in us discussing it.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Again i don't believe i have said this which is why there is no point in us discussing it.

Fair enough.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Duty? Well, maybe men just don't pay enough attention to the relationship. All LTR's need constant care. If a man takes more time to pick out a tool at sears than he spends doing something for his partner there is a problem. If a woman spends more time in Victoria's Secret picking a new thong than doing something for her partner then there is a problem.

All relationships need to be constantly fine tuned and both parties have to work on every aspect of the daily grind not becoming complacent. Before you realize it you grow apart and can't figure out WTF happened.. Sadly this happens all too often.

If you had a cute puppy running around or a fish in a tank I doubt you would neglect to feed either one for months on end. This is the same as a relationship. Except usually your partner doesn't have an accident on the living room carpet..

As far as ass goes, I want it a couple times a day, but, I have stress, long hours and the damn drive-up window wears on me.

BM is such a great partner we work on our more than stess filled life every day. ( the nights seem to take care of themselves)

As far as inviting another person in our relationship. We have that opportunity every week, but I have enough to deal with just taking care of my wife. No others need apply. For some this works, for me it did, I am tired of that game.

LOL So what are you saying exactly? That I wear you out too much or that you are too old and tired to swing any longer?

*puts hands on hips and raises one eyebrow*

 

[vixensghost]

I did not take the time to read all the replies, I'm not in the mood today, sorry.

My take: I'd worry where all these "open minded" lover's would be when I needed them in my less than sexy years that will be allllll our future's? You think they'd still be open to that thought?

Just my take....

 

[Mavafanculo]

since probably 90% of couples have had one or both partners cheat on the other, most relationships are de-facto open. just that one or both partners dont know it.

 

[cindylou]

since probably 90% of couples have had one or both partners cheat on the other, most relationships are de-facto open. just that one or both partners dont know it.

Do you think it would help if they knew beforehand - "you are not giving me enough attention, but joe is and I'm going to meet him for drinks tonight....and who knows, do you want me to bring him home? No? Okay, well, dont wait up! Wait a minute, I thought we agreed that we were going to be open about this?"

I dont think turning outside a relationship for anything is healthy.

 

[vixensghost]

since probably 90% of couples have had one or both partners cheat on the other, most relationships are de-facto open. just that one or both partners dont know it.

Christ, I'm glad we made it into the 10% stats....

 

[Bikini Mod]

I think it's more that 10% is wrong.

See now, I never really cared much about statistics. All I care about is what goes on in MY life with my partner.

And VBabe... I think you have something there... about caring for one another when they have surpassed sexy and gone waaaaaaaaaaay over to the realm of "When THE FUCK did I get this old? ....

I find it very interesting that many of the younger board member think they have a monopoly on good sex.

... just another meaningless observation on this old broad's part.

 

[cindylou]

Musicans and celebrities have a dont ask dont tell policy especially on the road....until one of them wants or has kids.

Then things get a little complicated.

 

[yonkers weights]

All Men Cheat. It All Comes Down To Their Options.

 

[JayC9]

To have one's cake and eat it too.

 

[cindylou]

All Men Cheat. It All Comes Down To Their Options.

Sorry Yonkers, but not all men cheat. They really dont.

 

[Bikini Mod]

All Men Cheat. It All Comes Down To Their Options.

I don't believe that... if a REAL MAN is truly a man of honor and loves and respects his lady then he will "see no other" options.

Like lying, cheating is not a gender specific character flaw.

 

[cindylou]

hah lol Bmom we both jumped on that! lmao

 

[yonkers weights]

Cindy and BM - your wrong but think whatever helps you sleep at night. Not going to go back and forth on this one. It is a fact like the laws of gravity. Think and say what you want but what I said is the truth.

 

[Mavafanculo]

Christ, I'm glad we made it into the 10% stats....

maybe yes, maybe no

I hope you did

 

[Mavafanculo]

Do you think it would help if they knew beforehand - "you are not giving me enough attention, but joe is and I'm going to meet him for drinks tonight....and who knows, do you want me to bring him home? No? Okay, well, dont wait up! Wait a minute, I thought we agreed that we were going to be open about this?"

I dont think turning outside a relationship for anything is healthy.

I agree - but I'm just going by what I see around me.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Cindy and BM - your wrong but think whatever helps you sleep at night. Not going to go back and forth on this one. It is a fact like the laws of gravity. Think and say what you want but what I said is the truth.

I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over 20 years and it had NOTHING to do with anything that constitutes a REAL MAN's BEHAVIOR.

I am not dogging anyone out... You are a grown man but still relatively young.

There are some who are wired to be faithfull and others who are not. (My opinion, maybe I am wrong, but so far in my 40 years this has been my experience.)

My husband could fuck any hot 22 yr/old he wanted. He has total freedom. Hell he had a freaking date with a young woman who was quite hot and even our partner was like, "So, did you fuck her or her friend" (the hot brunette friend)... What good would it do me to think that he did?

I have no reason to doubt... Wouldn't you say that he had *the perfect* opportunity to cheat? He has them all the time as he still does some business in the Men's Club here in Dallas.... hell he used to support the freaking place he spent so much money in there in the past and no, he wasn't dropping bills for table dances neither. So what say you about that? You sayin that he is lyin and that I am naive?

Fact is that while all men may lie (in order to gain the attention of a woman he wants) that doesn't mean that he keeps lying to her once he realizes that she is a woman of quality and substance and he should treat her the way he likes to be treated.... right?

 

[cindylou]

Unless he is a total selfish scumbag - this goes for women as well.

I like the idea of the open relationship because at least its honest.

I dont think they work - but at least you are not fucking around on some woman/man who is sitting at home thinking you meant the vows that you made before family/friends/God.

 

[Mavafanculo]

Men, ALL MEN are wired to spread their seed far and wide.

basically civilized males are trying to override millions of years of darwinian evolution and keep it in their pants cept for their SO.

-

 

[Bikini Mod]

basically civilized males are trying to override millions of years of darwinian evolution and keep it in their pants cept for their SO.

Men, ALL MEN are wired to spread their seed far and wide.

Yes, I understand but even amongst "lesser developed animals" who have no sense of morality there are those that mate for life.... are there not?

 

[Mavafanculo]

Yes, I understand but even amongst "lesser developed animals" who have no sense of morality there are those that mate for life.... are there not?

there used to be, but those species are extinct now.

see?

 

[yonkers weights]

Thanks Mav.

 

[Bikini Mod]

there used to be, but those species are extinct now.

see?

You've never seen a polar bear?

 

[jd_uk]

I did not take the time to read all the replies, I'm not in the mood today, sorry.

My take: I'd worry where all these "open minded" lover's would be when I needed them in my less than sexy years that will be allllll our future's? You think they'd still be open to that thought?

Just my take....

Maybe you should read the other replies then. I think you're getting the whole concept of an open relationship wrong. People in an open relationship will most likely tell you that it brought them closer together.

On as huge side note vixen...those are very nice legs you have.

 

[yonkers weights]

jd_uk Somepeople are just too closed mined. Not worth it like I said before. I had many posts about this and people judge and have no clue. Do what makes you happy. Be honest with yourself and your partner and you will be happy!

 

[Bikini Mod]

Interesting quote from an online article about "animals that mate for life"...

"Do these biological explanations justify infidelity? Should one accept his/her spouse's cheating? The consensus among scientists thus far is a resounding, "No!" They caution against drawing simplistic conclusions about human biology from animal studies (2)."


....just sayin is all.

As long as everyone involved is a consenting adult I see no harm in couples having an open relationship. But I DO have an issue with anyone saying that "all men cheat it is in their genes".... I would venture to guess that statement is only partially correct in that it lies more with what is in his JEANS...

 

[Mavafanculo]

You've never seen a polar bear?

I'm kidding lol, but what I'm saying about male wiring is fact not opinion. not many men in a longterm relationship are able to withstand the constant temptation over a lifetime. some do. most dont.

Now Women who cheat, thats a whole different story. the exact opposite.

So, let's summarize.

Men who cheat - understandable, since they're wired that way.
Men who are faithful - deserve great praise.

Women who cheat - Evil
Woman who are faithful - Its expected since they're wired that way. what do they want a cookie?

-

 

[jd_uk]

Sorry Yonkers, but not all men cheat. They really dont.

Yep...i woulddn't even consider sex with another woman if my gf weren't happy with it and that has been the case in the past.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I'm kidding lol, but what I'm saying about male wiring is fact not opinion. not many men in a longterm relationship are able to withstand the constant temptation over a lifetime. some do. most dont.

Now Women who cheat, thats a whole different story. the exact opposite.

So, let's summarize.

Men who cheat - understandable, since they're wired that way.
Men who are faithful - deserve great praise.

Women who cheat - Evil
Woman who are faithful - Its expected since they're wired that way. what do they want a cookie?

-

Oh come on... you don't REALLY believe that we are *victims* of our biology?

If that were the case then all a man would need is to be able to grunt the loudest and have the biggest club...

Fact is that our most powerful sex organ lies between our ears - NOT our legs.

Once EVERYONE realizes this, the happier and more fulfilled they will be.

 

[vixensghost]

I think it's more that 10% is wrong.

Why does this not surprise me? lol


If I had watched my mom and dad have an open relationship during their 60 years of marriage, I may have a different take on this concept.

However, what we got ain't broke so these old dogs won't be looking for new tricks anytime soon.

Kini, in regards to my first comment YOU picked up on: I've seen people with these so-called "open relationships", fall apart when something reallllly bad goes wrong. The "open end" closed real fast.The person not married got the worst end of the deal too. Perhaps not all would do this, but the easier route of bailing took place in two of these cases I speak of. What male or female wants that kinda shit in their life?

I could care less what other's do actually. My hubby and I have something good and know it.


Mava- I can tell you on my daugther's life, this woman had never given the goods to anyone else since I been married. I am pretty certain he has not either, cuz he's afraid of me.lol I kid, but in some ways, it's true. He knows I would send him on his happy way with his money -He'd also find out that the grass on the other side has just as many, or more, weeds.

 

[nimbus]

Nope i didn't say that. But in traditional relationships, this insecurity/jealousy is often prevalent due to little 'white lies' designed not to hurt the other partners feelings. I'm always amazed by it anyway but at the same time i see why.

"As i've already said, i think that people in open relationships are far closer emotionally than those in more traditional relationships. There are no lies, jealousy or insecurity.."


huh??

 

[KickNitRight]

People in an open relationship will most likely tell you that it brought them closer together. On as huge side note vixen...those are very nice legs you have.

That's not altogether true. Those are the people who talk the loudest about their experiences and on the outside can put up a good face. The people try the open relationship thing and get burned are generally very shy about talking about it. They didn't have a good experience and would rather forget it. The generalization is too general. There are people on both sides of this - open and "closed" relationships - who are happy and people on both sides who are not.

Personally, when I was single and enjoying my freedom, I was happy. Now that I'm married and devoted, I'm equally happy.

 

[Bikini Mod]

"As i've already said, i think that people in open relationships are far closer emotionally than those in more traditional relationships. There are no lies, jealousy or insecurity.."


huh??

You know, I never really thought about that.

I mean, how EXACTLY does one explain to their S/O why he/she felt the need to fuck somebody who wasn't them without engaging in a white lie or two themselves?

I dunno about any of you, but if I were in a committed relationship where I loved someone and they in turn claimed to love me, there is NO REASON that I could hear from my S/O that would no DEVASTATE ME as to why their urges where so strong that they had to actually act on them.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

You know, I never really thought about that.

I mean, how EXACTLY does one explain to their S/O why he/she felt the need to fuck somebody who wasn't them without engaging in a white lie or two themselves?

I dunno about any of you, but if I were in a committed relationship where I loved someone and they in turn claimed to love me, there is NO REASON that I could hear from my S/O that would no DEVASTATE ME as to why their urges where so strong that they had to actually act on them.

True. Hurting someone you love would be a paradox, or at least it should be.

 

[Bikini Mod]

True. Hurting someone you love would be a paradox, or at least it should be.

What do you say?

"It was JUST SEX. They meant nothing to me. I didn't REALLY enjoy it."

Really, how do you tell them without hurting their feelings and being 100% honest?

 

[jd_uk]

True. Hurting someone you love would be a paradox, or at least it should be.

I'm really not sure what's so difficult to understand about this...couples in an open relationship don't get hurt if their partner wants to have sex with someone else. It's just about being secure enough in yourself not to feel threatened by your parrtner having sex with someone else. I suppose it takes a huge level of confidence in your relationship.

 

[KickNitRight]

I'm really not sure what's so difficult to understand about this...couples in an open relationship don't get hurt if their partner wants to have sex with someone else. It's just about being secure enough in yourself not to feel threatened by your parrtner having sex with someone else. I suppose it takes a huge level of confidence in your relationship.

It's an awfully big assumption to generalize that people in open relationships don't get hurt. They do. Many people have thought they could handle it then when it happened realized that they were jealous and did have problems with someone sleeping with their partner. It's called deception. People easily deceive themselves into believing what they want to believe.

I think it's a lot more difficult to have a committed relationship than it is to have an open one. If you have a problem with the commitment part then maybe the issue is different than the way you've characterized it.

 

[jd_uk]

I think it's a lot more difficult to have a committed relationship than it is to have an open one. If you have a problem with the commitment part then maybe the issue is different than the way you've characterized it.

...and it's an even bigger assumption to assume that an open relationship can't also be a committed one.

The people that you talk about obviously weren't really comfortable with the idea in the first place but pretend to be for whatever reason. There are plenty of people who can seperate deeper emotions from the pleasure of sex.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

I'm really not sure what's so difficult to understand about this...couples in an open relationship don't get hurt if their partner wants to have sex with someone else. It's just about being secure enough in yourself not to feel threatened by your parrtner having sex with someone else. I suppose it takes a huge level of confidence in your relationship.

It sounds like there is an emotional void in open relationships. To each their own though. Being a swinger in an open relationship to avoid the pitfalls of love seems to correlate to being a hippie to avoid the pitfalls of society.

 

[milo hobgoblin]

it works for me..

to each their own I guess. Some people can separate sex with others from what they share with their spouse. Most cant.. I would never fault anyone for not understanding.

Genetically about 20% of the population does not form a specific bond with their mate during sexual encounters.. has to do with a neurotransmitter response.. so they do not tie sex to a relationship the same way the other 80% of the populace does.

These people either cheat A LOT or become swingers.. works out real well when both people are this way.

I know I could never again be in a monogomous relationship.. sad part is it took me 34 years to realize it.

 

[jd_uk]

It sounds like there is an emotional void in open relationships. To each their own though. Being a swinger in an open relationship to avoid the pitfalls of love seems to correlate to being a hippie to avoid the pitfalls of society.

lol not at all. You completely lack understanding. I'm very close emotionally to my gf but i know that if i have sex with some other girl then it doesn't mean that i want to be with the other girl or that i love my gf any less. It's quite simple really. Same goes for her too btw.

 

[jd_uk]

it works for me..
Genetically about 20% of the population does not form a specific bond with their mate during sexual encounters.. has to do with a neurotransmitter response.. so they do not tie sex to a relationship the same way the other 80% of the populace does.

I'd seriously question that theory.

Personally sex in a relationship and sex out of a relationship just feel different. Sex in a rleationship just has more meaning but that's not to say that sex outside of a relationship isn't physically very fun.

 

[Gymgurl]

So let me ask you this....if you have an open relationship....does that in fact eliminate cheating

 

[cindylou]

jd - who are you trying to convice?

Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself, like you are having a little argument within yourself.

If it works, keep doing it. Sounds like you have your mind made up, who cares what anyone else thinks or what their opinions are.

 

[biteme]

When I found out my dad cheated on my mom, I figured about 90% of men who are not grotesquely ugly, have no sex drive or opportunities or social skills... Probably have cheated.

 

[needtogetarmy]

So let me ask you this....if you have an open relationship....does that in fact eliminate cheating

Absolutely not.

An open relationship is based on the ideal that your other half knows EVERYTHING. Going out and having sex with someone without telling is cheating.

I've seen people in open relationships get divorced because of cheating.

 

[Bikini Mod]

Absolutely not.

An open relationship is based on the ideal that your other half knows EVERYTHING. Going out and having sex with someone without telling is cheating.

I've seen people in open relationships get divorced because of cheating.

So then is this an issue of control?

The way my husband described a lot of the women who he used to swing with - their sexual behavior I mean, the wife or steady gf was VERY controlling in her behavior with the *extra* woman of the moment. And once the wife or gf had sex with any other man (which was agaisnt their agreement) he cut bait IMMEDIATELY.

 

[jd_uk]

So let me ask you this....if you have an open relationship....does that in fact eliminate cheating

It can do...cheating your partner is simply lying to them. As long as you're honest in everything you do then there is no cheating.

 

[jd_uk]

jd - who are you trying to convice?

Sounds like you are trying to convince yourself, like you are having a little argument within yourself.

If it works, keep doing it. Sounds like you have your mind made up, who cares what anyone else thinks or what their opinions are.

Not trying to convince anyone. Simply responding to some of the comments which say that it could never work. The thread was meant to provoke thought.

 

[needtogetarmy]

So then is this an issue of control?

The way my husband described a lot of the women who he used to swing with - their sexual behavior I mean, the wife or steady gf was VERY controlling in her behavior with the *extra* woman of the moment. And once the wife or gf had sex with any other man (which was agaisnt their agreement) he cut bait IMMEDIATELY.

I suppose some people react that way. I don't though. To each their own.

The bottom line is that swinging doesn't work unless both parties consent. If one person is too domineering or too controlling, with anything, either sexual or non-sexual issues, the fun stops and the nagging begins lol

 

[Bikini Mod]

I suppose some people react that way. I don't though. To each their own.

The bottom line is that swinging doesn't work unless both parties consent. If one person is too domineering or too controlling, with anything, either sexual or non-sexual issues, the fun stops and the nagging begins lol

Heeheheee

If everyone's grown and everyone knows what's up... it's all good.

 

[ukkared]

Dr. Phil had a couple on a month ago that were in an open relationship. The husband said he was fine with his wife having a boyfriend but said he didn't really want a girlfriend. He went on to say that he would be in the house while they were having sex in the guest room. I can't imagine being in that situation and I would think that it would create problems somewhere along the way. But whatever floats your boat and if that makes you happy more power to you.

 

[eddymerckx]

Dr. Phil had a couple on a month ago that were in an open relationship. The husband said he was fine with his wife having a boyfriend but said he didn't really want a girlfriend. He went on to say that he would be in the house while they were having sex in the guest room. I can't imagine being in that situation and I would think that it would create problems somewhere along the way. But whatever floats your boat and if that makes you happy more power to you.

his next show will be where the guy snapped and put them both in a woodchipper....unless he is just happy he does not have to do her

 

[digger]

"In theory, there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is."

 

[javaguru]

his next show will be where the guy snapped and put them both in a woodchipper....unless he is just happy he does not have to do her

LOL @ dude listening to sex sounds and her head banging against the headboard while he does the dishes....

 

[KickNitRight]

It can do...cheating your partner is simply lying to them. As long as you're honest in everything you do then there is no cheating.

Cheating is more than lying. Cheating is breaking out of the supposed expectations, be they spoken or unspoken. If you date a girl and she expects you to be with her an no one else while you carry on in your "open relationship" then you are cheating. The reality is you just have different understandings of your what your relationship is. But if you don't clear that up with honest communication then you are cheating.

 

[jd_uk]

Cheating is more than lying. Cheating is breaking out of the supposed expectations, be they spoken or unspoken. If you date a girl and she expects you to be with her an no one else while you carry on in your "open relationship" then you are cheating. The reality is you just have different understandings of your what your relationship is. But if you don't clear that up with honest communication then you are cheating.

Well you both have to understand what is allowed in the first place but i though that was obvious. Then as long as you both know what the rules are then there can be no cheating if you are honest. Generally in an open relationship there are less stringent rules!

 

[KickNitRight]

Well you both have to understand what is allowed in the first place but i though that was obvious. Then as long as you both know what the rules are then there can be no cheating if you are honest. Generally in an open relationship there are less stringent rules!

I guess it wouldn't be "cheating" in the traditional sense of the word. You are adults. If you agree to letting the other hop aboard another train then it's honoring the commitment to refrain from jealousy. But it's still infidelity.

 

[jd_uk]

I guess it wouldn't be "cheating" in the traditional sense of the word. You are adults. If you agree to letting the other hop aboard another train then it's honoring the commitment to refrain from jealousy. But it's still infidelity.

I'm not sure it is still infidelity. Maybe in a very basic and traditional sense of the word it is. But infidelity by definition is causing a lack of faith or in a sexual context, being unfaithful. If you're in a open relationship and you stay within the boundaries of what your relationship allows then i can't see how that can be seen as unfaithful. The key is just being honest with each other.

 

[KickNitRight]

Well, seeing as how marriage itself by definition a covenant between two people and their community that they will remain faithful to each other physically and emotionally, it appears to me that an "open relationship" is by definition an act of infidelity against the institution of marriage. Why bother with entering a contract if neither party intends to keep it? That's like two people entering a business agreement and then agreeing not to hold each other to it. What's the point?

 

[Bikini Mod]

Well, seeing as how marriage itself by definition a covenant between two people and their community that they will remain faithful to each other physically and emotionally, it appears to me that an "open relationship" is by definition an act of infidelity against the institution of marriage. Why bother with entering a contract if neither party intends to keep it? That's like two people entering a business agreement and then agreeing not to hold each other to it. What's the point?

There are *legal benefits* to marriage one could argue...

 

[jd_uk]

Well, seeing as how marriage itself by definition a covenant between two people and their community that they will remain faithful to each other physically and emotionally, it appears to me that an "open relationship" is by definition an act of infidelity against the institution of marriage. Why bother with entering a contract if neither party intends to keep it? That's like two people entering a business agreement and then agreeing not to hold each other to it. What's the point?

Actually i'm not a big believer in marriage but if my partner were then i would get married for their sake. By my interpretation of the marriage vows then i would remain faithful and not feel particularly bad about what others might think. Traditional vows go something like this:

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part."

I think those vows can be adhered to in an open relationship.

Also, like BM said there can be other benefits to that legal contract...which is all that marriage really means to me at the moment.