Old Standby Joke Thread :)

[musclemom]

Alright, it's the holidays and nobody seems to be able to work up a good debate, and really, when we're supposed to be thinking of friends and family, whether we like their asses or not, should we really be spending the time debating such weighty issues as life, death and the hereafter? Naaaaa, how about some fun?

How about something we can ALL use what with the company, friend and family get togethers that are coming up??? Jokes. Who doesn't like a good joke?

But these jokes have to be special. I'm looking for classic jokes, sort of the meatloaf of jokes, so to speak. You know what I'm talking about, we all have them: it's the joke you can safely trot out in most mixed company, not snow white but not Eddie Murphy quality, either; you've known it for a while, maybe years, in fact, you've got the sucker down cold so that you can tell it almost perfectly no matter how sh*tfaced you are, and the best part ... it's funny. You've told this joke so many times you've lost count, your SPOUSE knows the punchline, but damned if it STILL doesn't make you chuckle in the end.

Ladies and gents, I'm looking for the joke that's near and dear to your heart, feel like sharing?

 

[H_T_]

what did the elephant say to the naked man?

how do you eat with that thing.

 

[trailseeker]

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

"Do you smell carrots?"

 

[H_T_]

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

"Do you smell carrots?"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

[RADAR]

what did tarzan say when he saw the elephants comming down the path
HERE COMES THE ELEPHANTS!!






what did tarzan say when he saw the elephants comming down the path wearing sunglasses



Nothing! He didn't recognise
them.


RADAR

 

[GoldenDelicious]

bro that joke where you say to someone "hey! did you hear about that actress that stabbed her husband? her name was reece something...reece...um...ummm shit its on the tip of my tongue.....aaargh....reece wuh....reece wuh...." and the other person says "REECE WITHERSPOON?" and you look at them and say "no, with a knife, you twit )

the look on their face when it clicks is classic they get so confused

 

[SoreArms]

I once had an ant farm, them fellows didn't grow shit