Official Elite Haiku Thread For Today

[Boach]

Without emotions,
This isn't better than being hurt.
Just live carefully.

Confusion plagues me.
Though, I am not heartbroken.
Just call me stupid.

 

[decem]

you are quite stupid
dumb, stupid, and a moron
are you happy now?

 

[decem]

me, network admin?
possibility has come
do i take it, hmmmm?

 

[HappyScrappy]

just had interview
crossing fingers, big money
there were tough questions

 

[decem]

thinking SBS
two thousand that is - has all
small company needs it

 

[decem]

starbucks.. i need you so.
i think i'll go, with my ho
to your sto.. fo sho

 

[decem]

damn shit fucker fuck!!
SAP guru off now
don't have printer perms

 

[Raina]

I need to invoice
I would rather be napping
Ice cream sounds good too

 

[decem]

i am losing weight
shedding off quickly, no shit
not even trying

 

[Raina]

I'm losing weight too
I'm not really trying though
I eat lots of junk.

Worked out my shoulders
Went well, wrist is now swollen.
It is coming back.

 

[HappyScrappy]

a bug was crawling
on my mother fucking neck
gives me the shivers

also need to dump
not in my pants or my cube
perhaps the bathroom

 

[decem]

wanna talk shivers?
cut chunk of skin off your balls..
shiver then fucker!!

 

[decem]

shitty ass slow board
slow as a snail with no legs
oops, they dont' have legs

 

[decem]

your daughter.. kicked dog
you know damn right.. fuck you you
kerpal ode haiku

 

[u4ik_RAGE]

Board's slow on purpose,
Fast if you are platinum,
That's so fucken dumb.

 

[u4ik_RAGE]

Raina's avatar:
Showing your butt is not wrong,
That thong tha-thong thong.

 

[snagglepuss]

This job is high stress.
Phone rings, boss screams, deadline nears --
Time to download porn....

 

[TheProject]

can't believe this thread
keeps coming back to the top
it's over, people.

 

[Raina]

It is pouring rain
I'm in really good mood
Life is wonderful

 

[snagglepuss]

Why can I not have
an avatar by my name?
The shame of newbies.

 

[snagglepuss]

The typhoon surged like
My penis in fallatio --
Run, villagers, run!

 

[snagglepuss]

can't believe this thread
keeps coming back to the top
it's over, people.

Just because you say
that this thread is now over,
it is not yet over.

 

[Code]

World Cup Haiku

A wonderfull Game
No Tie Thanks to the Handball
Ballack Is Too Tall

 

[snagglepuss]

Lean, cut, six-pack abs,
for some, it's easy. Not me --
I do love ice cream.

 

[Raina]

I love ice cream too
I don't know how I stay lean
Genetics I guess

 

[HappyScrappy]

when I dance naked
it makes my balls swing sideways
and then comes the sweat

 

[snagglepuss]

Raina is lucky!
Ice cream, cookies, chocolate --
and a hot body!

 

[Raina]

Thank you snagglepuss
I'm about to go to lunch.
I'm having a steak.

 

[snagglepuss]

HappyScrappy lied.
He said that Elite Fitness
was not addictive.

 

[Code]

With Happy Naked
My Brown Eyes Do Not Function
Retinas Burnt Out

 

[snagglepuss]

I am not four, but
still these few words make me smile:
fart, poop, & pee-pee.

 

[Raina]

Happy is a stud
He thrashes and eats paint chips
What more could I want?

 

[snagglepuss]

Nothing could be worse
than looking out my window:
Neighbor's ass is fat.

 

[Code]

DO Not Look at Me
My Ass Is Not All That Big
You Must Need Glasses

 

[snagglepuss]

This ass is too huge,
like a beach'd-whale in spandex.
I pray it's not you.

 

[Code]

I Cannot Stop it!
My Haiku Really Sucks Eggs
Please God, Make it Stop.

 

[snagglepuss]

I hope my haiku
are not bothering anyone.
I just need more posts.

 

[Code]

Whew, I think I'm Cured.
If Cured is One Syllable
MonoSyllabic?

 

[Code]

Not cured yet, I fear
My last message was Haiku
Still five-seven-five

 

[snagglepuss]

Who is Snagglepuss?
One gay, tuxedo-wearing,
pink, cartoon tiger.

His two catch-phrases
are: 'Heavens to Muragtroid!'
and 'Exit stage right!'

 

[u4ik_RAGE]

Snaggle, you need posts?
Post on the "biggest thread" thread.
Posts need not make sense.

 

[snagglepuss]

Thanks, u4ik_RAGE!
My haiku don't make sense, but,
that is easier.

 

[Code]

My Work is Done Here.
This Thread Has 13 Pages.
Can It Grow Larger?

 

[Code]

Ahh, Cryptography.
No One Can Read This But Me.
Wait?! Is This Clear Text??

 

[snagglepuss]

Whoever says that
nothing beats a home-cooked meal
never met my mum.

 

[u4ik_RAGE]

Keto diet sucks,
Hamburger patties and cheese.
Dear God, LET ME POOP!!

 

[snagglepuss]

Dissertation due
In just under a fortnight.
So why am I here?

 

[snagglepuss]

Women are so soft,
curvaceous, squooshy and wet.
Thank God I am gay.

 

[snagglepuss]

Poor Agamemnon!
Killed in the bath by his wife.
Now she was a bitch.

 

[hanselthecaretaker]

drinking diet coke
flailing phenylalanine
no sugar in here!

 

[decem]

back from florida
funerals are cool indeed
dead pasty blue folks

 

[bigguns7]

Board was very slow
But now it is fast as shit
I like it alot

 

[Raina]

You were missed Decem
I openly wept for you
Now I am joyful.

 

[HappyScrappy]

where is snagglepuss?
it turns out he is my friend
I forgot his name

 

[decem]

you did not miss me
noone ever misses me
gonna eat worms now

 

[HappyScrappy]

I did not miss you
did not even notice you
or the lack thereof

 

[decem]

lick balls you queerbait
always talking bout guys nuts
you know you want mine

 

[HappyScrappy]

I am so not queer
your balls are nothing to me
no offense of course

 

[decem]

no offense taken
some like them, some just do not
no hair off my back

 

[HappyScrappy]

your back, it has hair?
my back has peach fuzz I guess
nothing like my ass

 

[decem]

no hair on this ass
pubes, balls, legs, armpits, ass, face
shaved regularly

 

[decem]

write haiku now bitch
what.. are you not entertained
i love that movie

 

[HappyScrappy]

much like Weird Al or
Huey Lewis and the News
"I wanna new"... job

 

[HappyScrappy]

oh dear Jesus please
I have to pee so badly
but if I get up

then have to pass the
office of my manager
he will call my name

 

[decem]

sticky zingers, yum
gooey, coconut, creamy
so very yummy

 

[decem]

had pretzels instead
zingers have much fat, sugar
but pretzels do not

 

[u4ik_RAGE]

This thread's still going?!
Godamn you mother fucker's,
Enough of this shit!!

 

[decem]

this thread is the shit
going.. going and going
it shall never die

 

[rotovibe]

 

[rotovibe]

oops that's not haiku
really funny haiku thread
eskimo not hot

 

[decem]

are you eskimo?
igloos, fish, dog sleds oh my!
ileut oz wizard

 

[decem]

feeling ill today
stomach aches, feeling cold, ugh
just want to lie down

 

[decem]

one nugga, two nug
ga, three nugga, four nugga
five nugga six nugs

 

[kronk]

Splashing Splashing Splash
Sex Smells so nice yummy
Lick it up its gone

 

[decem]

kronk and kronkette rock!!
so old, yet so sexual
filthy minded mods

 

[kronk]

Old Old Old Old Old
We are only 30 gee
Time to lick the cat

 

[decem]

thirty or sixty
what's the difference i ask
very minimal

 

[kronk]

You crack me up bro
Decem for Moderator
Dwelling Happily

 

[decem]

yes!! another vote!
it will never happen though
they fear me too much

 

[HappyScrappy]

mod name means nothing
but then, supreme dictator
now that is something

 

[decem]

not about titles
it's all about the leaks nugs
squeal like a pig ho!

 

[HappyScrappy]

my bladder has leaks
I find them overrated
would rather see tits

 

[lil k]

i have tits to see
they are both a nice firm d
boobies boobies tits

 

[HappyScrappy]

size doesn't matter
I am all about smacking
fun bags go smack smack

 

[decem]

kronk is lucky man
yes indeedily, even
ned lusts for kronkette

 

[decem]

size doesn't matter
I am all about smacking
fun bags go smack smack

LIAR!! LYING BITCH!!
balls this balls that... balls balls balls
you love balls, not boobs.

 

[lil k]

sex sex sex sex sex
gimmie gimmie need wee wee
yum yum yum yum yum

 

[decem]

going through big "D"
and no i don't mean "Dallas"
can you guess the "D"?

 

[decem]

last haiku for me
must do something worthwhile now
peace out to my nugs

 

[HappyScrappy]

when I hold you near
your deoderant I smell
Old Spice never leaves

 

[decem]

seriously now
this is the last one, really
goodbye to all, mmwwwwaahhh

 

[lil k]

i like my new gear
it makes me giggle with cheer
screw screw screw screw yum

 

[decem]

i love ma nuggas
but where's my bitches, huh huh
it's all good, alright

 

[Raina]

Did you change your mind??
Decem would never leave us...
Or else we would cry.

 

[lil k]

raina's butt is yum
it makes me want to cum cum
over to see her

 

[decem]

yes i did change it
too hectic to read sartre
and can't do DB

 

[decem]

cornhole and wodin
both are my bitch, i rule them
silly apes they are

 

[Raina]

If Kronkette was here
I would kiss her and lick her
She is a sweetheart.

 

[decem]

kronk this, kronkette that
dumb corn hole this, raina that
what about decem?

 

[Raina]

Decem's my nugga
He is clever and funny
I hope he won't leave.