Office Cake

[jnevin]

I hate this shit. My boss gets so into the goddamn birthdays here. I know they'll give me shit if I don't have any. I just took fuggin Nitrix for chrissake. I need another 45 min. No doubt an office of fatties will sympathize.

 

[Y_lifter]

Take a piece, say you have to be on a call and take it back to your Office/Cube/Desk, then toss it in the trash with some papers over it.

Fatass avoided

 

[jnevin]

It's a Ben & Jerry's cake. Damnit. Must... resist...

 

[Sub-Zero]

I hate this shit. My boss gets so into the goddamn birthdays here. I know they'll give me shit if I don't have any. I just took fuggin Nitrix for chrissake. I need another 45 min. No doubt an office of fatties will sympathize.

no offense bro, but your fuckign pathetic if you dont have the willpower to tell them to fuck themselves.

i opened a can of chicken up at a party instead of drinking beer.

people made jokes, but in the end, i was bigger and stronger

 

[Y_lifter]

Eating Cake and beer makes you "Bigger" bro.. duh!
Probably stronger as well..

Get with the program or get over to the womens forum..

 

[H_T_]

shut up & pass, Melvin....

 

[PICK3]

I used to work with an office full of fat bitches ... they'd ask, "what's for lunch at 9:00 a.m."

 

[jnevin]

no offense bro, but your fuckign pathetic if you dont have the willpower to tell them to fuck themselves.

i opened a can of chicken up at a party instead of drinking beer.

people made jokes, but in the end, i was bigger and stronger

No offense bro, but you're the last person that should be giving advice on what to do insocial situations. If you're sorry enough to go board to board asking how to drink cold medicine so you get a buzz, I wouldn't call someone pathetic. Bringing cans of chicken to parties? Cool man. I think you got your v-card locked well into your 20's.

 

[Y_lifter]

I'm betting the people at the party weren't making jokes about his can of chicken,
but rather his lame attempts at eating to grow, and then not growing.

 

[H_T_]

No offense bro, but you're the last person that should be giving advice on what to do insocial situations. If you're sorry enough to go board to board asking how to drink cold medicine so you get a buzz, I wouldn't call someone pathetic. Bringing cans of chicken to parties? Cool man. I think you got your v-card locked well into your 20's.

wow. a man-sized serving of Pwnage.

 

[jnevin]

I used to work with an office full of fat bitches ... they'd ask, "what's for lunch at 9:00 a.m."

LOL. The fatty processors do that here. They go around getting peoples' orders for Chilis at like 9:30. I always either bring my food or go home to eat. They look at me like I'm crazy to pass up cheese mashed potatoes and fried chicken shooters, or whatever.

 

[Sub-Zero]

No offense bro, but you're the last person that should be giving advice on what to do insocial situations. If you're sorry enough to go board to board asking how to drink cold medicine so you get a buzz, I wouldn't call someone pathetic. Bringing cans of chicken to parties? Cool man. I think you got your v-card locked well into your 20's.

so i have to be pressured by fat office women into eating cake before i get pussy?

 

[jnevin]

so i have to be pressured by fat office women into eating cake before i get pussy?

I think you have a lot you have to do to become an adolescent.

Get laid when you will.

 

[Sub-Zero]

I think you have a lot you have to do to become an adolescent.

Get laid when you will.

i kinda thought being able to stand up for my goals instead of being pressured into doing lame shit like eating sweets kinda made me more mature...not less

 

[jnevin]

i kinda thought being able to stand up for my goals instead of being pressured into doing lame shit like eating sweats kinda made me more mature...not less

Wow dude. You're a fucking after school show on dietary peer pressure.

What would be immature is not taking into account that some people really put a lot of effort into these dumb-ass office birthday disasters, as stupid as they can be, and they get their feelings hurt if people don't partake. Stupid and overly sensitive? Absofuckinglutely. Does it make you an asshole because your reaction is to whip out a can of chicken and act like you're better than everyone else because you want to go lift and then go and look at yourself in the mirror... alone? Absofuckinglutely.

It's not surprising at all coming from you.

 

[a creed]

Reminds me of "The Frogger" episode of Seinfeld

INT. J. PETERMAN LUNCHROOM - DAY

Elaine and several co-workers stand around a table which has a cake sitting on it.

ALL (singing): Happy birthday to you.

WALTER: Thanks.

Everyone claps.

FEMALE WORKER: Elaine, cake?

ELAINE: Uh, no, thanks.

FEMALE WORKER: It's Walter's special day.

ELAINE: You know, there are 200 people who work in this office. Every day is somebody's special day.

Elaine takes a piece of cake and makes her way to the door, but is stopped as a male worker carrying a cake enters.

MALE WORKER: Elaine! Where're you going? It's Walter's last day. We have to celebrate.

ELAINE: It's his birthday and it's his last day?

MALE WORKER: This is other-Walter, from returns.

Other-Walter enters followed by more co-workers.

OTHER-WALTER: Hey, what's going on here?

ALL: Surprise!

OTHER-WALTER: Oh guys.

Elaine tries to leave, but other-Walter stops her.

OTHER-WALTER: Elaine, it's my last day. Have a piece.

ELAINE: All right, pile it on.

ALL (singing, competing): For he's a jolly good fellow...happy birthday to you...for he's a jolly good fellow...birthday to you...which nobody can deny...

Elaine looks on frustrated.

EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING

INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY

Jerry and Elaine stand in front of his stereo.

JERRY: What is so bad about having a little piece of cake?

ELAINE: It is the forced socializing. I mean, just because we work in the same office, why do we have to act like we're friends?

JERRY: Why aren't you there now?

ELAINE: I had to take a sick day. I'm so sick of these people. By the way, I talked to Lisi, and tomorrow night's good for her.

They sit on the sofa.

 

[ZKaudio]

The office is like a breeding ground for obesity... go to any large company, it's rampant. I think the fat tax is totally fair.

 

[jnevin]

Reminds me of "The Frogger" episode of Seinfeld

INT. J. PETERMAN LUNCHROOM - DAY

Elaine and several co-workers stand around a table which has a cake sitting on it.

ALL (singing): Happy birthday to you.

WALTER: Thanks.

Everyone claps.

FEMALE WORKER: Elaine, cake?

ELAINE: Uh, no, thanks.

FEMALE WORKER: It's Walter's special day.

ELAINE: You know, there are 200 people who work in this office. Every day is somebody's special day.

Elaine takes a piece of cake and makes her way to the door, but is stopped as a male worker carrying a cake enters.

MALE WORKER: Elaine! Where're you going? It's Walter's last day. We have to celebrate.

ELAINE: It's his birthday and it's his last day?

MALE WORKER: This is other-Walter, from returns.

Other-Walter enters followed by more co-workers.

OTHER-WALTER: Hey, what's going on here?

ALL: Surprise!

OTHER-WALTER: Oh guys.

Elaine tries to leave, but other-Walter stops her.

OTHER-WALTER: Elaine, it's my last day. Have a piece.

ELAINE: All right, pile it on.

ALL (singing, competing): For he's a jolly good fellow...happy birthday to you...for he's a jolly good fellow...birthday to you...which nobody can deny...

Elaine looks on frustrated.

EXT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY - ESTABLISHING

INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT - DAY

Jerry and Elaine stand in front of his stereo.

JERRY: What is so bad about having a little piece of cake?

ELAINE: It is the forced socializing. I mean, just because we work in the same office, why do we have to act like we're friends?

JERRY: Why aren't you there now?

ELAINE: I had to take a sick day. I'm so sick of these people. By the way, I talked to Lisi, and tomorrow night's good for her.

They sit on the sofa.

That's why I think office cake is funny.

 

[Subzeero]

seinfeld is great. LOL.