ODE To NEW JERSEY

[MattTheSkywalker]

NJ is and always has been and always will be the garbage state. It even started as a land grant by the Duke of York because he didn't want it 300+ years ago.

Today, NJ has more toxic waste dumps than any other state. By dozens. The more things change...

Jersey girls.....and you thought big hair went away. Wrongo bongo. How about big nails? yep, made in Jersey. Jersey rivals the southeastern US for ill mannered and dirty people of both sexes.

Guys from NJ? They're OK. I mean, I guess it is good to keep all the short, hairy fat Italian guys who wear tight black shirts with black pants and act "big" in one easily defined place: NJ.

Can you be big if you're 5' 4"? Is that possible? Even Lee Priest could rightfully be called a dwarf...if he was hairy and fat and italian he could live in NJ.

In the summer, this filth does indeed congregate in places like SleazeSide Heights - I went there once...once. It's sort of like the Hamptons, except with no money, no showers, no class, and nothing fun, well except skinny girls with guts parading around being chased by greaseballs in banged up cars.

Yes, New Jersey.

 

[feisty11975]

NJ is and always has been and always will be the garbage state. It even started as a land grant by the Duke of York because he didn't want it 300+ years ago.

Today, NJ has more toxic waste dumps than any other state. By dozens. The more things change...

Jersey girls.....and you thought big hair went away. Wrongo bongo. How about big nails? yep, made in Jersey. Jersey rivals the southeastern US for ill mannered and dirty people of both sexes.

Guys from NJ? They're OK. I mean, I guess it is good to keep all the short, hairy fat Italian guys who wear tight black shirts with black pants and act "big" in one easily defined place: NJ.

Can you be big if you're 5' 4"? Is that possible? Even Lee Priest could rightfully be called a dwarf...if he was hairy and fat and italian he could live in NJ.

In the summer, this filth does indeed congregate in places like SleazeSide Heights - I went there once...once. It's sort of like the Hamptons, except with no money, no showers, no class, and nothing fun, well except skinny girls with guts parading around being chased by greaseballs in banged up cars.

Yes, New Jersey.

Oh My Word!!!! LOL

 

[bluepeter]

NJ is and always has been and always will be the garbage state. It even started as a land grant by the Duke of York because he didn't want it 300+ years ago.

Today, NJ has more toxic waste dumps than any other state. By dozens. The more things change...

Jersey girls.....and you thought big hair went away. Wrongo bongo. How about big nails? yep, made in Jersey. Jersey rivals the southeastern US for ill mannered and dirty people of both sexes.

Guys from NJ? They're OK. I mean, I guess it is good to keep all the short, hairy fat Italian guys who wear tight black shirts with black pants and act "big" in one easily defined place: NJ.

Can you be big if you're 5' 4"? Is that possible? Even Lee Priest could rightfully be called a dwarf...if he was hairy and fat and italian he could live in NJ.

In the summer, this filth does indeed congregate in places like SleazeSide Heights - I went there once...once. It's sort of like the Hamptons, except with no money, no showers, no class, and nothing fun, well except skinny girls with guts parading around being chased by greaseballs in banged up cars.

Yes, New Jersey.

LMFAO

 

[jerseyart]

NJ is and always has been and always will be the garbage state. It even started as a land grant by the Duke of York because he didn't want it 300+ years ago.

Today, NJ has more toxic waste dumps than any other state. By dozens. The more things change...

Jersey girls.....and you thought big hair went away. Wrongo bongo. How about big nails? yep, made in Jersey. Jersey rivals the southeastern US for ill mannered and dirty people of both sexes.

Guys from NJ? They're OK. I mean, I guess it is good to keep all the short, hairy fat Italian guys who wear tight black shirts with black pants and act "big" in one easily defined place: NJ.

Can you be big if you're 5' 4"? Is that possible? Even Lee Priest could rightfully be called a dwarf...if he was hairy and fat and italian he could live in NJ.

In the summer, this filth does indeed congregate in places like SleazeSide Heights - I went there once...once. It's sort of like the Hamptons, except with no money, no showers, no class, and nothing fun, well except skinny girls with guts parading around being chased by greaseballs in banged up cars.

Yes, New Jersey.

Yeah, I spent a lot of summers in the Hamptons.

Full of lil rich bitches, boys and girls, repetitively talking about the accomplishments of their parents, none of which they can ever hope to match.

The women are accomodating enough, so long as you keep their mouths full. Otherwise you have to listen to them drone on endlessly in that annoying lazy tongue accent about how much their cars or clothes cost, or who they know that they imagine will impress you.

The guys never bothered me much either. I always thought it considerate of them to bring the girls to the clubs so that we never had to go out of our way to look for them. They were also bright lil gboys who never made any fuss when we explained to them the first time that we were going to spend time with their women, and to stick around to give them a ride home afterwards.


The only annoying part is none of them ever outgrow the inclination to wax on ad nauseum about whatever material possessions they claim to have accrued.

You can always tell whem someone is from LI cause they begin every sentence with " Today I bought......"

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

Yeah, I spent a lot of summers in the Hamptons.

Full of lil rich bitches, boys and girls, repetitively talking about the accomplishments of their parents, none of which they can ever hope to match.

The women are accomodating enough, so long as you keep their mouths full. Otherwise you have to listen to them drone on endlessly in that annoying lazy tongue accent about how much their cars or clothes cost, or who they know that they imagine will impress you.

The guys never bothered me much either. I always thought it considerate of them to bring the girls to the clubs so that we never had to go out of our way to look for them. They were also bright lil gboys who never made any fuss when we explained to them the first time that we were going to spend time with their women, and to stick around to give them a ride home afterwards.

The only annoying part is none of them ever outgrow the inclination to wax on ad nauseum about whatever material possessions they claim to have accrued.

You can always tell whem someone is from LI cause they begin every sentence with " Today I bought......"

Today I bought three Jersey people. I only had the change left from lunch though, usually I like to get at least 5; this allows me to have either

(1) enough excess grease available to do some work on the cars
(2) an overpowering cologne aroma that knocks out people in crowded places

You do happen to be fairly correct about the girls in the Hamptons though; I can imagine you overheard them while you were landscaping.

NJ today is NY, 15 years ago.

 

[jerseyart]

Today I bought three Jersey people. I only had the change left from lunch though, usually I like to get at least 5; this allows me to have either

(1) enough excess grease available to do some work on the cars
(2) an overpowering cologne aroma that knocks out people in crowded places

You do happen to be fairly correct about the girls in the Hamptons though; I can imagine you overheard them while you were landscaping.

NJ today is NY, 15 years ago.

LOL

NJ is one of the wealthiest states in the country per capita. Ive seen worse slums on the island.

The funny part is there isnt a thing in my description that I invented. We owned the Island every summer.

Same lil wannabes in every club every weekend. We spent entire summers working through your gf's

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

LOL

NJ is one of the wealthiest states in the country per capita. Ive seen worse slums on the island.

The funny part is there isnt a thing in my description that I invented. We owned the Island every summer.

Same lil wannabes in every club every weekend. We spent entire summers working through your gf's

Yawn, you're like 40, fun to reminisce though, I am sure, about stuff that probably never happened...and if it did, well, I am sure the peeps you "owned" now sign your paychecks and don't notice you.

You and the other Dodge mechanics still tell these stories when you get together and listen to Thunder Road?


The NJ prayer:


Thank you, God, for Cleveland and Buffalo. Those are the only two things standing between NJ and the title "Asshole of the US". Please protect them and keep them strong, so that our true nature remains a secret.

 

[jackangel]

there is beauty and desolation in my new jersey.

but i take it with me, everywhere i go.

 

[jerseyart]

Yawn, you're like 40, fun to reminisce though, I am sure, about stuff that probably never happened...and if it did, well, I am sure the peeps you "owned" now sign your paychecks and don't notice you.

You and the other Dodge mechanics still tell these stories when you get together and listen to Thunder Road?


The NJ prayer:


Thank you, God, for Cleveland and Buffalo. Those are the only two things standing between NJ and the title "Asshole of the US". Please protect them and keep them strong, so that our true nature remains a secret.

Whatever Matt.

I doubt you earn more than me playah, and if you do God bless you. I just dont feel the need to advertise it ad nauseum. But I also dont have any penis envy issues.

And Im 36 bitch, but even still old enough to be yo daddy.

and LOL

Which part of what I wrote is no longer applicable? Your posting alone evidences that it wasnt a passing phase in LI history.

You guys were pussies in the revolutionary war, and nothing has changed since

 

[fistfullofsteel]

(Triumph the Insult Comic Dog )

"NJ is great!


































For me to poop on!"