need some advice! (marriage/divorce)

[SofaGeorge]

Kronk and FitFossel hit it on the nose. Go to a counselor.

I don't want to insult you by saying this... but you and your wife sound young. You learn from being older and getting experience that relationships can go through tough parts. The art is learning how to make them strong, keep communication open, and how to keep reinventing them.

I don't think you two gave each other enough effort yet.

 

[kroddy_man]

All of you guys are right, I think that we had building problems and were not communicating. We did discuss this and decided we were ready for a split and really just went for it...obviously too rash of a decision...

we have been married for 8 years and she is 38 and I am 40. not all that young, but definitely rash in this case.

which is funny, because normally we both consider ourselves to be pretty thoughtful. Emotions, frustration and resentment all got in the way...

thanks all! just reading your supportive posts made me feel so much better...

[edited to add this]
"and how to keep reinventing them."

this appears to hit the nail on the head!

 

[lucidblue]

If the first counselor doesn't help, try another (and possibly another). If there is still love between you, the marriage deserves every chance you can give it. The only time to end it is when there are no longer any alternatives and no more lingering what-ifs. Don't worry about going back to what you had before. A marriage is like a living thing - growing and changing all the time, and requiring regular nourishment and maintenance. Good luck!

Good advice. The two of you probably wouldn't still be so drawn to each other if there wasn't something there worth fixing!!!!

Good luck kroddy_man.