Need advise..

[gldnizme]

Ok this is kind of along story..but would like some input on the situation.

I have a friend that is abused by her boyfriend. She is scared and does not know what she should do. I told her to get a restraing order on him, but she is scared to do that. So last Friday night she was really upset and wanted to see me..so she came over to my buddys house where I was at. She comes over and is crying and very upset..(which when she is upset I get very upset) I look at her chin because she had an large amount of make up on one place on her chin. I asked her what it was, she said it was dry skin. So I left it at that. Well as the night went on the cover up came off to the point were all I could she was a big black and purple lump..I freaked. Called a friend of his to find out where he was, and his buddy said he didnt know. About 2 hours later a beer bottle gets throwen threw my winshield..I know it was him. Anyways Last night..He told her " He will be dead in 4 days" thats what the fuck said about me. He wants to kill himself..and told her that he was gonna take me with him. Sorry for the length of the story..but I really need someones opinion thats outside of the circle..

 

[KAYNE]

WELL, YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF A FEW QUESTIONS.

IS HE JUST SAYING THAT CUZ HE IS NUTS OR IS HE REALLY GOING TO DO IT (KILL YOU, HER, AND HIMSELF)? WHAT TYPE OF DUDE IS THIS? HAS HE DONE THINGS LIKE THIS BEFORE?

SHE REALLY NEEDS TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM. SHE NEEDS TO DOCUMENT THE ABUSE WITH PIX AND SUCH. SHE NEEDS TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN HE DOES IT SO IT WILL BE ON RECORD. YOU NEED TO BE A SHOULDER OF SUPPORT FOR HER BUT DONT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER FRAIL MENTAL STATE. NOT SAYING THAT YOU WILL BUT SHE MIGHT HAVE A LAPSE IN JUDGEMENT DURING ALL OF THIS. IF YOU WANT TO GET INVOLVED WITH HER AT LEAST WAIT A LITTLE WHILE FOR THE NUTBALL ISSUE TO GO AWAY.

IF HE THREW A BOTTLE THROUGH YOUR WINDSHEILD, GO FIND HIM AND PROCEDE TO BREAK HIS NOSE GRASSHOPPER. THE CHICK NEEDS TO GET AWAY FROM THIS DUDE NOW. HE MADE IT PERSONAL WHEN HE THREW A BOTTLE AT YOUR CAR. GO HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS.

 

[gldnizme]

The guy has absoultly lost it!!! last week his dad came home and found the dude with a shotgun in his mouth. Took him to the mental ward and they let him go in 2 hours..said he just wanted attetion. But what really gets me, is the fact that he said if her and I ever get together he will kill both of us..Then himself..I really want to just go beat the living shit out of him..but that will probaly get her a good beating..I am so stressed right now..thanks for the reply.

 

[Chris V.]

Thats a serious situation man. I would really take that threat seriously; wouldn't want anything to happen to you bro. Im not very good with advice but If Im in the same situation I would jet out of town for awhile til the animosity settles down. On the other hand ,Dont know if this is right circumstance but my pa always told me "Hit 'em first before they hit you". Seriously, whatever you do I hope you be ok.
Bumpin this for better responses.

 

[gldnizme]

Thats what my friends are telling me..get him first..but how, what, I would never want to have to kill someone..I mean if the guys comes to my house and I think he's there to kill me..I'll get him. But he's saying "you gotta start your car sometime" shit like that. I'am gettin to old for this shit..

 

[KAYNE]

NO IT WOULDNT GET HER A GOOD BEATING!!! SHE SHOULDNT BE NEAR HIM AND IF SHE GOES BY HIM SHE NEEDS TO BE BEATEN THEN. THERE SHOULD BE NO REASON SHE NEEDS TO GO NEAR HIM.

IF HE WAS FOUND WITH A SHOTGUN IN HIS MOUTH...THEN I WOULD WORRY AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT. CALL THE POLICE AND GET ALL OF THIS ON RECORD.

 

[bigmag]

I'd talk to the police and find out what you can do about getting a restraining order on this guy. If you can, get the girl to go to ( I know she's scared but try to get her to go). If nothing comes of it. I'd leave town for a couple of days till that shit calms down. Good Luck!!!

 

[KAYNE]

I HOPE WARIK DOESNT SEE THIS THREAD. HE WILL BLESS YOU WITH ONE OF HIS FAMOUS ONE LINERS IF HE DOES.

 

[BigGuns2]

Bro, you need to press charges against this dude for issuing a threat. Someone in his mental state could do anything.

 

[Rex]

Option 1- File a restraining order on him; have her do the same. Take a little vacation for a couple days. Come back and hope it all calms down.

Problem: All a restraining order is basically a piece of paper saying that someone is not allowed within a certain area of you. Besides if he really wants you dead, and is willing to face charges of murder, do you think hes afraid of that piece of paper and the charges that comes with violating.

My aunt [lives w/ my grandmom] filed a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend and he came over when my grandmother wasn't home and tried to fuck with my aunt. The restraining order didn't stop him from trying his shit. What did was my uncle [aunt's brother] happening to stop by, beating the piss out of her ex, and making some threats that they all knew would be fulfilled if he ever tried it again.

Option 2- Hes dealt with appropiately, through pressing charges or whatever, so that he doesn't have the chance to hurt anyone.

 

[theoak01]

for hitting her you should do what me and my uncles did my my aunt's ex,roll up there and beat the snot out of him then when the cops get there say you came to help her get out of the abusive situation and he tried to assault you so you used the force nessecary to protect yourself

worked for us

just a though

 

[tomcat]

I sincerely doubt that this dude just started acting whacky.
She should have seen this coming, and unless she likes guys like that, should have got out of the relationship before it got this serious.
It's too late to get out easy now. She and you need help from either the Cops or a few Big Ass MoFo's...
Either that or Move your ass across country..

 

[karson]

dude

dude if you read my post you known Im one to stand up for myself and friends, but in this situation if she doesnt want to help her self by avoiding him and calling the cops, then why should you get involved. Now the beer bottle calls for an ass kickin and it sounds like you already are involved so find him and punish him so bad he never even wants to think about you again. do that or just walk away from the whole situation.

 

[Freak Show]

I HATE CRAZY FUCKS LIKE THIS. First, let me say I'm praying for you. You need to distance yourself from both of them. Not the most humane thing to do, but sometimes you gotta look out for yourself. Don't try to be her savior. if this dude is fuckin crazy he just may pull something. i've had similar run-ins, not this bad but, the best thing I could have done was just go away. On the flip side, you shouldn't have to pack up and move or something like that just cuz of one unstable fucker. That's where I don't have an answer for you. sorry. From everything you've typed, this guy sounds deranged. And his girl sounds a little troubled too. All I can really say is that if he gets in your grill, COME OUT SWINGIN, AND DON'T STOP TILL HE'S NOT STANDIN. Is he calling you? I had a guy do that. I finally lost it, went fuckin nuts and told him to get his ass over here and settle it now. He never showed. Most don't. if he does, read my signature line.

 

[DIESEL_5]

the problem with this dude is that he is wacked in the head. if he were at least halfway normal, you could go beat him to a bloody pulp and not have to worry about much. but he sounds pretty unpredictable. if he has no value of his own life, i'm sure he doesn't value yours much either. if you know any cops, have them fuck with him. a restraining order won't do shit. if i were in this situation and didn't know any cops that could fuck with him, i'd get guerilla-style on his ass and attack the fucker while wearing all black with a ski mask or something to cover your face and no witnesses. who knows, if he's so suicidal, he may even like it. hehe. if you really want revenge for what he did, you gotta bring yourself to his level.
as for the girl, don't let your emotions get the best of you (as they already have....now you're involved with this freak too), be her friend, give her advice, but if she doesn't want to leave, then there's not much you can do.