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My stepdaughter just asked me...

  • Thread starter Thread starter heatherrae
  • Start date Start date
I got to read over a test of hers in science. They showed a science experiment where test tubes of plants were moved closer to light and produced more oxygen gas, demonstrating the effect light has on photosynthesis.

One of the questions was "How could the experiment have been improved." The correct answer would have been "by introducing an independent variable." Her reply was "Stop, because the gas will kill the plants." !!!!!!

I tried tutoring her this past year just to be able to graduate to 6th grade. She did it, but I had to tutor for hours and hours.
 
You would just have to be here longhorn. This little gal can make you pull your hair out within 15 seconds...lol. I have to try to keep my sense of humor about it. She tends to just sort of walk around in a daydream. She just never thinks. She makes me a little crazy sometimes...lol.
 
Sounds like she is going to have a job were she wears a shirt with her name on it.
Don't give up on her.
 
Longhorn85 said:
At least she has you to show her the way to womanhood. Does she look up to you, HR?
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Well, poor thing just moved in with her daddy this past year. The girls' mother never comes to see them. Their mother was receiving tons in child support, but the alimony had dried up after she remarried, years ago. She was basically telling their dad that unless he gave her $20k/month and hired a full time maid/nanny, he could take them. He said, "of course I will take them, if you are having such a hard time." I'm relatively new to them, and I am more strict/old school than they are used to. So, she is kind of bitter because I don't let them do just anything they want. It will all fall into place for us eventually, but we have an adjustment process to go through. I think she has an eating disorder. I find empty cartons of ice cream hidden behind the couch. She ate an entire pie that I made in one day, etc. She is about 185 and only 5' tall. She wears about a size 14 in womens.

Her sister, on the other hand, is very popular, funny, etc. I know that must suck to have such a popular sister. The sister can be a little bitch to her sometimes.
 
You've got a challenge on your hands there woman. She certainly must feel odd with her sister and yourself as the thin, good-looking types.

Does she (the 11 yr old) like sports? Maybe she can improve her self-esteem that way.
 
Testosterone boy said:
Just buy her some real big implants when she turns 18. Guys will knock themselves out doing stuff for her.
Click to expand...
LOL...cut it out.
 
HeatherRae said:
Well, poor thing just moved in with her daddy this past year. The girls' mother never comes to see them. Their mother was receiving tons in child support, but the alimony had dried up after she remarried, years ago. She was basically telling their dad that unless he gave her $20k/month and hired a full time maid/nanny, he could take them. He said, "of course I will take them, if you are having such a hard time." I'm relatively new to them, and I am more strict/old school than they are used to. So, she is kind of bitter because I don't let them do just anything they want. It will all fall into place for us eventually, but we have an adjustment process to go through. I think she has an eating disorder. I find empty cartons of ice cream hidden behind the couch. She ate an entire pie that I made in one day, etc. She is about 185 and only 5' tall. She wears about a size 14 in womens.

Her sister, on the other hand, is very popular, funny, etc. I know that must suck to have such a popular sister. The sister can be a little bitch to her sometimes.
Click to expand...

oh, the poor thing....:( Her sister being popular AND not overweight is a hard blow on her
 
Longhorn85 said:
You've got a challenge on your hands there woman. She certainly must feel odd with her sister and yourself as the thin, good-looking types.

Does she (the 11 yr old) like sports? Maybe she can improve her self-esteem that way.
Click to expand...
She says she wants to play softball, but last time he bought her $600 dollars worth of gear, which she left on the lawn in the rain or otherwise lost at friends' houses. Then, she whined about going.

She says she wants a treadmill, but I don't want to buy something she will break or never use (she has an uncanny ability to break anything...lol).

I ask her to come on walks with me after dinner, but she declines. She begs me to take her to the gym with me, but I draw the line there. She would be right in my face the entire time, wanting me to tell her what to do or entertain her.
 
The softball thing sounds like a good path for her. I'd keep working that angle, but I wouldn't buy another 600 bucks worth of stuff. A ball, bat and glove only.

Oh, and one for you too, to throw with her.
 
Yeah, I think we will. There is a camp coming up. I'm all for it, but her dad thinks that the kids may tease her and call her fat. I tell her that when kids tell her she's fat, she should say, "I can lose weight, but you will always be a jerk." That makes her smile.
 
Heft can be a major asset in softball, even after she trims down her natural size will come in handy. Did you see my edit above? You should buy a glove for yourself too so you can play catch with her.

Why the camp? Why not just join a team?
 
I can't throw or catch a ball very well. I'm hand-eye coordination challenged...lol.
 
Longhorn85 said:
It's easy. Besides, she'll like the fact that you're not very good at it and she is.

Just watch the manicure. :)
Click to expand...
lol...okay, I will try that.
 
You won't have to worry about her remembering your plate numbers, address or even her last name for that matter.
 
pdaddy said:
You won't have to worry about her remembering your plate numbers, address or even her last name for that matter.
Click to expand...
Oh my God, I should not share this, but I actually did ask her for her Mommy's last name, because I was mailing Mothers Day cards to her from the kids. She didn't know! Seems her mom gets married pretty often. ;-)
 
HeatherRae said:
She says she wants to play softball, but last time he bought her $600 dollars worth of gear, which she left on the lawn in the rain or otherwise lost at friends' houses. Then, she whined about going.

She says she wants a treadmill, but I don't want to buy something she will break or never use (she has an uncanny ability to break anything...lol).

I ask her to come on walks with me after dinner, but she declines. She begs me to take her to the gym with me, but I draw the line there. She would be right in my face the entire time, wanting me to tell her what to do or entertain her.
Click to expand...


Stop spoiling her and maybe then she will amount to something.

Seriously.
 
alien amp pharm said:
Stop spoiling her and maybe then she will amount to something.

Seriously.
Click to expand...
You are right! They are so spoiled. It is insane! They are always bored, and they have everything.
 
HeatherRae said:
You are right! They are so spoiled. It is insane! They are always bored, and they have everything.
Click to expand...

It's hard not to spoil them I know my are rotten, My 1st marriage ended bad, now i have a yours,mine and ours situation, very challenging, Maybe she is ADHD cannot stay focused on anything...where was i oh yeah and GO HEAT
 
motodawg said:
It's hard not to spoil them I know my are rotten, My 1st marriage ended bad, now i have a yours,mine and ours situation, very challenging, Maybe she is ADHD cannot stay focused on anything...where was i oh yeah and GO HEAT
Click to expand...
rofl!

yeah, that could be part of it.
 
HeatherRae said:
She says she wants to play softball, but last time he bought her $600 dollars worth of gear, which she left on the lawn in the rain or otherwise lost at friends' houses. Then, she whined about going.

She says she wants a treadmill, but I don't want to buy something she will break or never use (she has an uncanny ability to break anything...lol).

I ask her to come on walks with me after dinner, but she declines. She begs me to take her to the gym with me, but I draw the line there. She would be right in my face the entire time, wanting me to tell her what to do or entertain her.
Click to expand...

get her a personal trainer... out of your hair and your still being a good step mom instead of a bitch who won't accept their bf's children
 
mrdeeznuts said:
get her a personal trainer... out of your hair and your still being a good step mom instead of a bitch who won't accept their bf's children
Click to expand...

also some gyms have programs for obese teenagers, in florida it should be easy to find one.
 
If I could find a program like that I would get it for her.. I just hate wasting money if she is going to get bored of it in one week. I also dont want to shove it down her throat and make her think that something is inherently wrong with her. I don't want to further damage her self esteem. It's complicated. We will see.
 
HeatherRae said:
If I could find a program like that I would get it for her.. I just hate wasting money if she is going to get bored of it in one week. I also dont want to shove it down her throat and make her think that something is inherently wrong with her. I don't want to further damage her self esteem. It's complicated. We will see.
Click to expand...

its understandable that you don't want to hurt her self esteem but you need to try something because otherwise 185lbs will turn into 205, 225, 245, 265, 285, hello major health problems, what casket can we find to fit her in

point is she's eating very unhealthy due to her feelings and she's binge eating. she needs help feeling comfortable and w/ those issues.

in the mean time i would clean your house of all junk food and stock up on healthy food
 
Damn that's a tough one - at age 11 I dont' think she needs to be spending time in the gym, but a solid diet & activity that she's interested in would do wonders.

I would normally suggest getting her to look at the Body For Life book - great intro to nutrition but she might not really care right now.

Good luck.. it is a bitch being overweight & w/ poor self-esteem. Those eating habits are not somethign a kid should be saddled with.

I would focus on stuff that doesn't cost an arm & leg -- i.e. treadmill...Forget that stuff. She doesn't need the "Stuff" to do activities -she needs the activities.
 
yeah, I know I have to do something. I get a little confused about which direction to go, sometimes. I try to explain about healthy eating and set a good example, but she binges behind our backs. She ate an entire bunch of bananas one day! Then, the kids and the hubby-to-be want snacks and treats from time to time. Sometimes I actually hide them so that they don't get eaten in one sitting. This upcoming school year, I'm going to try to get her involved in sports and go with her, etc. She likes when I come to her school lots. It is really pretty sweet of her. It makes her feel comfortable and has this thing like she is showing me off to her friends as being a "cool mom." It's those things that really make me love her more.
 
what about that dance dance dance game. half the young kids that play have no clue they are doing a sum what aerobic activity while burning cals.
 
Sassy69 said:
Damn that's a tough one - at age 11 I dont' think she needs to be spending time in the gym, but a solid diet & activity that she's interested in would do wonders.

I would normally suggest getting her to look at the Body For Life book - great intro to nutrition but she might not really care right now.

Good luck.. it is a bitch being overweight & w/ poor self-esteem. Those eating habits are not somethign a kid should be saddled with.

I would focus on stuff that doesn't cost an arm & leg -- i.e. treadmill...Forget that stuff. She doesn't need the "Stuff" to do activities -she needs the activities.
Click to expand...
Yes, I'm going to go swimming in the pool with her more. Sometimes she asks me, but I dont go because I would have to redo hair and makeup etc. I should just do it. That would probably help lots.
 
mrdeeznuts said:
what about that dance dance dance game. half the young kids that play have no clue they are doing a sum what aerobic activity while burning cals.
Click to expand...

lmao, so true.

it's ancient asian trick for weightloss....works wonders.
 
HeatherRae said:
yeah, I know I have to do something. I get a little confused about which direction to go, sometimes. I try to explain about healthy eating and set a good example, but she binges behind our backs. She ate an entire bunch of bananas one day! Then, the kids and the hubby-to-be want snacks and treats from time to time. Sometimes I actually hide them so that they don't get eaten in one sitting. This upcoming school year, I'm going to try to get her involved in sports and go with her, etc. She likes when I come to her school lots. It is really pretty sweet of her. It makes her feel comfortable and has this thing like she is showing me off to her friends as being a "cool mom." It's those things that really make me love her more.
Click to expand...

That's really all that is required love her more, yaknow she's a kid cut her a break. I don't believe anyone of us was the perfect kid i'm sure she has qualitys that the perfect "looking" child doesn't. Find something you can do together to spend some time alone, find her fears help her overcome and you willl be have given her something most kids don't get...Confidence. I have 5 and they are all unique, none of us comes with a manual how to raise little Billy
 
Hey, Deez, that is a pretty good idea, the Dance Dance Dance thing. Now if I can only get them to not break it within the first week. ;-)
 
HeatherRae said:
Well, poor thing just moved in with her daddy this past year. The girls' mother never comes to see them. Their mother was receiving tons in child support, but the alimony had dried up after she remarried, years ago. She was basically telling their dad that unless he gave her $20k/month and hired a full time maid/nanny, he could take them. He said, "of course I will take them, if you are having such a hard time." I'm relatively new to them, and I am more strict/old school than they are used to. So, she is kind of bitter because I don't let them do just anything they want. It will all fall into place for us eventually, but we have an adjustment process to go through. I think she has an eating disorder. I find empty cartons of ice cream hidden behind the couch. She ate an entire pie that I made in one day, etc. She is about 185 and only 5' tall. She wears about a size 14 in womens.

Her sister, on the other hand, is very popular, funny, etc. I know that must suck to have such a popular sister. The sister can be a little bitch to her sometimes.
Click to expand...

Id hit it
 
HeatherRae said:
Hey, Deez, that is a pretty good idea, the Dance Dance Dance thing. Now if I can only get them to not break it within the first week. ;-)
Click to expand...

ur still here why aren't u shopping yet........ maybe ur online shopping
 
rofl...i couldn't send these kids camping in the back yard. There would be a fatality for sure.
 
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