My girl is mad at me because....

[Warik]

... I didn't want to go to a club last night, or tonight. In fact, we've never been to a club. She knows I hate clubs. She has never brought up the issue of "hey, let's go to a club" in the entire almost-6 months we've been going out. Thus, it should not have come to any surprise that I did not want to go.

She does not like classical music; therefore, I do not force her to listen to it with me.
She does not like metal; therefore, I do not force her to listen to it with me.
She does not like war/sci-fi movies; therefore, I do not force her to watch them with me.
She does not like to ice skate; therefore, I do not force her to go ice skating with me.
She does not like to play computer games; therefore, I do not force her to play computer games with me.

I do not like to go clubbing; therefore, she attempts to force me to go clubbing.

Though I am a logical person, I have acknowledged the fact that I've been incorrect in the past, meaning that there may be the remote possibility that I am wrong in this case. I need a second opinion. Am I being a complete dick for refusing to go clubbing in light of the fact that my dislike of clubs has been well-documented and discussed for nearly 6 months?

Your pal,
Frustrated in Florida (Warik)

 

[Franco C]

Well, what do you guys have in common? It sounds like you
have built up a lot of trust, and that's a solid foundation in any relationship. You can always come to a sort of agreement, maybe feeling each other out and trying new territory, either one may end up liking and bringing you closer together.

 

[Frackal]

To determine the truth in this matter a nude picture of your girlfriend must be provided...


Seriously, too little info warik, but you ought to remind her you went to that party that one time remember?

 

[OMEGA]

how about a resonable comprimise.

tell her that you will go out with her once to a club, and if you don't like you don't want to go again....

you see when you don't show interest in going with her to a club....she probably on a sub conscience level thinks that you are rejecting the idea of going with "her" to the club....when the reality is , is that you reject the club scene itfself and the refuse it attracts.......

 

[The Whole F/N Show]

Relationships are all about give and take. Once in the while you do something you she wants to do and once in a while she does something you want to do. I don't like clubs and was never big on taking girlfriends to them so I hear ya. I would do it once in a while but only to keep the peace. For me taking a girlfriend to a club is like taking sand to the beach.

 

[Newbie2building]

I dont think youre wrong. if she already knew it going in, it was probably one of those "he'll change over time" fantasies. in truth, it is really her problem....which I know makes it become yours. you could either talk more about it, tell her to go with her other friends, or actually go with her. if you went with her and she saw you were miserable and neither one of you had a good time, then at least shed probably never ask you again. my humble opinion

 

[Newbie2building]

Attn The Whole F/N Show!

FYI: "responsibility" is spelled wrong in your sig.

 

[Rockafella Skank]

You are also assuming that the mind of your girl works in the same logical manner that yours does. As you know, logic can be confounded and/or defied.

 

[Warik]

Frackal,

She is human, so I know that her first response to that fact would be: "OH WOW. ONCE!"

Nevermind the fact that I hated every minute of it, especially the part where the tall fatass with beer muscles was expressing the fact that he had a deathwish.

OMEGA,

Reasonable compromise to me = I don't make you do what you don't want to do if you don't make me do what I don't want to do. The whole point of compromise is that although you do something you don't like, you get something beneficial in return. Maybe if I were old enough to drink, the opportunity to sip a few drinks to help me through the ordeal would be a reasonable exchange for the horrendous experience of moving through a shoulder-to-shoulder crowded room with the inability to hear any conversation within 6" of me and reduce my lifespan due to the inhalation of second, third, and fourth-hand smoke.

Show,

I never liked the idea of "give and take" in the sense that I'd never want to force or coerce her into doing something she didn't want to do. I found it perfectly acceptable to simply live with the fact that she didn't like certain things and just choose alternatives. She hates my music, so I tolerate hers. Simple... no biggie, but last week I had the overpowering desire to bask in the glory of Yo-Yo Ma's "Simply Baroque" in an attempt to ease the stress of 3 assignments assigned on the same day with the same due date, 5hrs of school twice a week, dealing with a job, and still managing to find some time to relax for a few minutes - but "ew, that's old man music" was the reply.

Honestly, I think this is the dreaded friend-influence. We were fine for almost 6 months with VERY FEW of the typical couple arguments along the way. Honestly, I think I could count them on one hand and not even use up all of my fingers. Recently she came back into contact with a friend of hers that she hasn't spoken to in months. Without a doubt in my mind, she is the source of this recent turmoil. Probably whispering little: "oh, your boyfriend doesn't do this? that's awful! nevermind the fact that he looks good, has always taken you to nice places, doesn't get mad about the fact that you call him numerous times daily, and is loved dearly by your mom, dad, grandma, aunts, uncles, cousin and brother... he doesn't take you clubbing!" This is the same girl who told her that she "noticed" that I kept looking at my watch the day we went to her (the friend's) house to cut a cake for her birthday. Well no shit, all 11 or something of us were planning on going to see a first-night-out movie at 10:20 at a theater 20 minutes away and it was fucking 10 o'clock! What am I supposed to look at? The big sign that says: "I'm a jackass who bought advance tickets and will only see half the show cause these people won't shut up and cut the cake already" ???

I'm not one to be posting problems of a personal nature here. Hell, the fact that I actually have a girlfriend is probably news to many people reading this. But damn, I figure I should get some kind of impartial feedback here. My friends: "you're right" Her friends: "she's right" My family: "you're right" Her family: "he's right" (told you her family loved me).

-Warik

 

[OMEGA]

just read your profile

I did not know you were under 21?

you are truly an enigmatic individual