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VicTusDeuS
New member
My life is a roller coaster. Just as things get better, they all fall apart and come crashing down. I have finals for my summer classes comming up and i bet all my gains from my lifting are gonna wilt away. My last relationship was the same way. I felt like she didnt give me a chance.
I've been out of highschool for 3 years. I changed alot since then. Im more mature now but most of all I look different. Im Alot bigger than I used to be. I saw a girl last night for the first time in a while and she asked me what happened to the toothpick she knew in highschool. I hated highschool, there were they kids that pickedd on me and stuff cause I was smaller than them. I look at pictures of me back then and I wonder how i even was alive health wise. I couldnt get a girl for shit and all that still haunts me to this day. The last 2 girls I was with both were from the same town as me. Of course because they were around my age they are friends with people that know (knew) me. Even though I changedsince then, they all still see me as the tall skinny kid who was worthless compared to them.
It bothers me that I bust my ass in the gym but no matter what my past is here to haunt me. I never did anyone wrong but I guess once your stigmatized it stays like that forever. I try to change things but people will always have their opinions. My friends tell me I dont need the juice but in fact I do. it makes me feel better. I like being able to know I can change myself and not be worthless and actually be somebody. I like getting bigger. Its my retaliation to everyone from my highschool days. Some people walk into schools with machine guns, I fight back by becomming the opposite of what they knew me as.
It pisses me off when someone thinks theyre better than me, as if im the shit of the world. Thats how I feel in this town. I really need to get out. Most of my relationships I had with girls outside of here were fine, Its just inside this place that they go wrong. I always have this feeling that someone was interferring with all of this. Like they think im not good enough for the girls I was trying to get with. Im not gonna give up though, im just gonna hit the weights twice as hard. My gains will be my only form of happiness i guess. Weights before dates.
11 days till i turn 21, then i can go places and meet girls i guess. I think i need a makeover. Im too plain, i look to plain and cheap. I have the money to change myself, I should. Im gonna have one of my female friends take me shopping and make me look different. Some people say I have a good body, maybe if i started looking like a model i would get more girls and be able to move on. I dunno what to do, im gonna go to sleep.
I've been out of highschool for 3 years. I changed alot since then. Im more mature now but most of all I look different. Im Alot bigger than I used to be. I saw a girl last night for the first time in a while and she asked me what happened to the toothpick she knew in highschool. I hated highschool, there were they kids that pickedd on me and stuff cause I was smaller than them. I look at pictures of me back then and I wonder how i even was alive health wise. I couldnt get a girl for shit and all that still haunts me to this day. The last 2 girls I was with both were from the same town as me. Of course because they were around my age they are friends with people that know (knew) me. Even though I changedsince then, they all still see me as the tall skinny kid who was worthless compared to them.
It bothers me that I bust my ass in the gym but no matter what my past is here to haunt me. I never did anyone wrong but I guess once your stigmatized it stays like that forever. I try to change things but people will always have their opinions. My friends tell me I dont need the juice but in fact I do. it makes me feel better. I like being able to know I can change myself and not be worthless and actually be somebody. I like getting bigger. Its my retaliation to everyone from my highschool days. Some people walk into schools with machine guns, I fight back by becomming the opposite of what they knew me as.
It pisses me off when someone thinks theyre better than me, as if im the shit of the world. Thats how I feel in this town. I really need to get out. Most of my relationships I had with girls outside of here were fine, Its just inside this place that they go wrong. I always have this feeling that someone was interferring with all of this. Like they think im not good enough for the girls I was trying to get with. Im not gonna give up though, im just gonna hit the weights twice as hard. My gains will be my only form of happiness i guess. Weights before dates.
11 days till i turn 21, then i can go places and meet girls i guess. I think i need a makeover. Im too plain, i look to plain and cheap. I have the money to change myself, I should. Im gonna have one of my female friends take me shopping and make me look different. Some people say I have a good body, maybe if i started looking like a model i would get more girls and be able to move on. I dunno what to do, im gonna go to sleep.
