My first serious post ever!

[Nathan]

Okay, I need you guys to understand something about me. I'm extremely dangerous. I just am. I could kill any one of you just by thinking about it. Don't worry, provided you send me 15 virgin chipmunks every month my wrath will be satiated and I won't have to hurt any of you.

Also, I can tell time really really well. Whether it be midnight or just before noon, I can tell if you just show me a clock, but it has to be one of those digital ones cause the regular variety has like 25 too many hands and they give me a headache what with all their clockwise motion. Damn clockwise motion. Damn it it to hell. Jesus' nemesis, I think his name was Pete, invented clockwise motion to gain the upper hand on our good friend Jeez. Poor bastard never saw it coming and hence all that cross and torture bullshit. It was a clockwise motion extravaganza on that sad sad day. I dunno, maybe you had to be there to fully understand. Bottom line though, we need to abandon anything and everything having to do with clockwise motion. I've already written President Bush onthis regard and he has assured me he will address it in his next televised Presidential address.

 

[Raina]

Is it true that clocks tick the other way in Australia since the water goes down the drain the other way??

 

[decem]

beautiful chipmunks?

 

[GinNJuice]

sorry, my chipmunck source just got busted

 

[WODIN]

I call bullshit on this mind power...think about sk* and decem and if they don't post for a month I'll be sending you lil chipmunks like mad.

 

[TheProject]

Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against a wall!

And I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice and I've never been to Boston in the fall!

 

[Raina]

I can't send chipmunks. They're out state bird and they're protected by law.

 

[HappyScrappy]

this thread makes my balls hurt. that and I just recently punched them to "learn myself a lesson"
lesson learned.
don't punch one's own genitals. at least not that hard.

on a serious note, I think that Raina is ... wait, I KNOW that Raina is wrong.

also, my gf just made a pie and she got really pissed off when I handplanted into it. some people... so uptight.

 

[decem]

I call bullshit on this mind power...think about sk* and decem and if they don't post for a month I'll be sending you lil chipmunks like mad.

you love me and you know it you old jesus lookalike you.

 

[WODIN]

Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against a wall!

And I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice and I've never been to Boston in the fall!

FUCK!!!

*Pounds head against wall*

Now I'm going to be signing that for the rest of the day.

 

[Nathan]

beautiful chipmunks?

All the chipmunk virgins in the world can't make me promise I won't hurt Decem though. Nobody deserves it more. Bastard.

Raina: Yes, that is true. Jesus created Australia to be a haven for everything counter-clockwise. He didn't call it "Australia" though. He called it "Puppiesdonothavesex Land."

 

[TheProject]

FUCK!!!

*Pounds head against wall*

Now I'm going to be signing that for the rest of the day.

Another victim...

I still say you look like Cap'n Crunch.

 

[HappyScrappy]

I think wodin looks just like the bad guy in Snow Crash. the one that rode around on the motorcycle with the nuclear warhead on it that was linked to his heartbeat - Raven I think was the name.

 

[Raina]

I think wodin looks just like the bad guy in Snow Crash

Don't you mean Snow White?? Sometimes I see Wodin's reflection in the mirrors of my house and he talks to me. That's another secret benefit of being platinum.

 

[TheProject]

Don't you mean Snow White?? Sometimes I see Wodin's reflection in the mirrors of my house and he talks to me. That's another secret benefit of being platinum.

damn, ANOTHER platinum feature that's not working for me.

 

[decem]

hey.. i just figured that if they were beautiful chipmunks... maybe you could send them out to constantly travel the world to instilling peace and happiness in all who laid eyes upon them and their beauty.. thereby accomplishing the "impossible" chore of world peace..

that's all

 

[Nathan]

hey.. i just figured that if they were beautiful chipmunks... maybe you could send them out to constantly travel the world to instilling peace and happiness in all who laid eyes upon them and their beauty.. thereby accomplishing the "impossible" chore of world peace..

that's all

You're pushing your luck on this one Decem.

Happy - I sometimes touch myself when no one is looking. It's more of a poking and prodding really which I don't care for much. I still refure to stop though except when my genitals get swollen and bruised which is rather often. So i know where you're coming from of course.

 

[decem]

i'm beautiful.. you can't hurt me

 

[Jimsbbc]

Nathan - why don't you go fuck a neighborhood squirrel and call it day.

 

[Nathan]

Nathan - why don't you go fuck a neighborhood squirrel and call it day.

Do you not like me? Were you trying to be mean with that post cause I detected a mean vibe.

 

[decem]

ya know nathan.. i'm starting to think that your boss and his assistant have a pretty valid reason for bitching about you not working.. seeing as your on this shitty as chat board all damn day long.

 

[WODIN]

I knew that whole killing people by just thinking about them was bullshit.

 

[Nathan]

ya know nathan.. i'm starting to think that your boss and his assistant have a pretty valid reason for bitching about you not working.. seeing as your on this shitty as chat board all damn day long.

I'm no princess but they're no better. I really do not like them. When I do work there are still problems. It doesn't matter anymore really. If they fire me now it's fine since I only have one pay cheque left to go that I'm not owed yet. Fuck you btw.

 

[decem]

they must not be beautiful.

 

[Nathan]

Are you actually trying to make me angry? Why? I don't get it Dec.

 

[Jimsbbc]

to me it would be a lot easier to find and catch a squirrel.

 

[polarpixie]

Nathan, how can you tell if the chipmunk is a virgin or not? And what exactly is it that you do with these virginal chipmunks? Does it make your powers even mightier? And why 15? Why not 7?

 

[decem]

you are one sensitive dude.

 

[Nathan]

Nathan, how can you tell if the chipmunk is a virgin or not? And what exactly is it that you do with these virginal chipmunks? Does it make your powers even mightier? And why 15? Why not 7?

15 is a good number. That is the number of Oreos I like to eat in a sitting. They need to be virginal cause otherwise they seem to develop an off-key sense of humor that I am not overly fond of. As for what I do with them, well, I make them type these posts of course.

 

[polarpixie]

15 is a good number. That is the number of Oreos I like to eat in a sitting. They need to be virginal cause otherwise they seem to develop an off-key sense of humor that I am not overly fond of. As for what I do with them, well, I make them type these posts of course.

Oh ok. So they are not harmed in any way and are allowed to roam as they please and continue to live out their lives naturally, well with the exception of having to learn how to type, but who can't benefit from learning a new skill?

I understand about the off-key sense of humor thing. Especially the way they make Oreo cookies taste bitter! Blech.


mmmmMmmm....Oreos.....nono i mustn't...I would eat the whole bag...

 

[Nathan]

Oh ok. So they are not harmed in any way and are allowed to roam as they please and continue to live out their lives naturally, well with the exception of having to learn how to type, but who can't benefit from learning a new skill?

I understand about the off-key sense of humor thing. Especially the way they make Oreo cookies taste bitter! Blech.


mmmmMmmm....Oreos.....nono i mustn't...I would eat the whole bag...

Please also bear in mind that when I say I makethem do it I don't really. They actually sincerely and truly enjoy it. They have fun and that's what counts. I even have lots of little chipmunk weddings for them and dress them up in Cabbage patch doll clothing even though it's a tad large for them.

 

[polarpixie]

Please also bear in mind that when I say I makethem do it I don't really. They actually sincerely and truly enjoy it. They have fun and that's what counts. I even have lots of little chipmunk weddings for them and dress them up in Cabbage patch doll clothing even though it's a tad large for them.

Oh, I never doubted that they would enjoy it, I was just noting that it is somewhat 'unnatural' for them, but that is probably only because not too many people actually take the time out to teach them how to type. I mean look at what Alvin & Theodore, and that other little guy has accomplished!

I'm sure that if everyone one of us were to take a chipmunk under our wings and teach them how to type, and be their mentors, none of us would ever need to touch our fingers to the keyboard ever again! Secretaries everywhere would rejoice and sing a few round of hallelujahs. They probably feel just as happy and proud of themselves to discover their new talent, just as I did when I learned how to make little dolls with dental floss.

 

[Nathan]

The other one's name is Simon. Alvin, Simon...Theodore. Doo Doo....Doodoodoodoo. Doo Doo...doodoodoodoo.

Dental floss does have many practical applications.

 

[polarpixie]

The other one's name is Simon. Alvin, Simon...Theodore. Doo Doo....Doodoodoodoo. Doo Doo...doodoodoodoo.

Dental floss does have many practical applications.

Ah. Simon! Thank you Nathan!


OMG...is that a chipmunk I hear outside my window?!!!! Quick, tell me how to check for virgins!


aw...damn...it was a squirrel.

 

[Nathan]

For future refernce you might want to try just asking them. They tend be quite upfront and honest. Except they always lie about leaving the toilet seat up. ALWAYS.

 

[polarpixie]

For future refernce you might want to try just asking them. They tend be quite upfront and honest. Except they always lie about leaving the toilet seat up. ALWAYS.

Good idea.

*blows and brushes dust off of English-Chipmunk dictionary*....

 

[Nathan]

Good idea.

*blows and brushes dust off of English-Chipmunk dictionary*....

That was funny.

 

[polarpixie]

That was funny.

*polarpixie curtsies*

 

[decem]

do you like marilyn manson?




THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE

THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE





i love that song