My Eq Only Cycle Results

[vinnie]

im sad to say that due to technical reasons, i unfortunately had to stop my 12 week planned ttokkyo eq only cycle at week 2. i am also very sad to say that it was the straw that broke the camels back and i will no longer be doing AS. now im trying to deal with deppression from lossing some of my gains from last cycle. very sad to see myself go backwards even though im busting my fucking ass in the gym. i have lost motivation and its not from overtraining. trying to deal with this is difficult. any advise will be appreciated.
thanks vinnie

 

[Torch]

ok, so why did u stop?

 

[The Man Child]

Yeah what's the problem. Don't let ANYBODY tell you, you're wrong about your decision to use steroids. I honestly believe their the best thing to ever happen to me. Try and get back into the game buddy! Keep your head up!

 

[MadCow1]

I hope that you are okay in regards to whatever caused this change in your usage.

My advice is below:

Accept your natural limitations and make gains based upon your own dedication and effort, not drug use. I believe that you will also feel much better about yourself and your progress in the long run.

No matter how good I've looked or how much I've lifted there is something unwholesome about using roids even with low dosages and mild substances. One can ignore it and revel in one's progress but I could never be as proud of my work as I was with progress from natural training.

You may backslide for sometime but this is to be expected and it is the price you pay for drug use. If you are still losing from previous cycles I can only assume that you were not very conservative in your usage and that you were only using the minimum off time between cycles (I used to use 6 months as a minimum so I had a better idea of how much I would retain from a cycle in the long term).

Emphasize short intense workouts and focus on DL, Squat, Bench to keep your gains until your body stabalizes. Use creatine also.

You as a person are not defined by what your body looks like or how much you lift. You are defined by the quality and integrity of your actions. Make choices you can be proud of, work hard to accomplish your goals, respect and be kind to others, and hold your head high.

 

[MadCow1]

Yeah what's the problem. Don't let ANYBODY tell you, you're wrong about your decision to use steroids. I honestly believe their the best thing to ever happen to me. Try and get back into the game buddy! Keep your head up!

This is so scary - if drugs are the best things in your life you need to evaluate your commitment and goals. Family, friends, love, spirituality, just being alive.... Don't want to get all mushy but you need to look around and enjoy the rest of your life some.

 

[Adaptek]

give us more details bro!

 

[Scott Steinner]

Just keep on going and you most believe you are a real man and there is nothing wrong with you!
good luck!!

 

[The Man Child]

Well don't get me wrong those factors you've mentioned are THE MOST IMPORTANT, but none have changed my life the way steroids have. They've made me more confident about myself (before I had low self-esteem), I am a better brother, son, and friend now than before. And I feel I have more opportunities now than before. I'd like to restate, their not my whole life, but they have changed my life for the better.

 

[Big Brother Val]

Hey man, I've been there. It's that damn Muscle Dysmorphia talking.
Just yesterday I quit my shoulder workout early because I felt so small and weak. It happens. It's hard to keep mentally focused at times.
I get sick of eating all the time... my joints hurt... I'm tired... all of that comes into play.
All I can suggest is to do what I do... because that's all I know.
I try to think back to why I started doing this. What was my goal. What did I look like when I started as compared to now. Why did I even start living this lifestyle.
When I think about that, I realize why I do it. And then I think about how bad I hated how skinny I was. And if I stop now, I may end up going back to it.
Is that what I want?
To be a skinny little bitch again?
Or do I wanna hit that 20" arm mark?
Take a few days off if you need to.
Eat shitty.
Sleep all day.
Do what you need to do to realize how good it feels to keep hittin' that gym.
If you need to lay off the gear for a while... by all means do it.
Just don't give up.
We're in this together.
All of us.
Don't let yourself down.

 

[British Bulldog]

give it a few weeks. see how much you keep from this cycle. If you keep some then you have done well. You cant keep all gains made ij cycle anyway.

 

[Digital Ronin]

Big Brother Val...great advice.

 

[nandroloner]

give us more details bro!

It would definitely help to know what made you feel this way.

 

[NinjaX]

bro dont stop keep hitting it hard, your gains will come back

 

[MaxBiceps]

Well said, Madcow!
Look bro, just take a week or two off from the gym. Just don't go.
After you feel up to par, go back and hit it like never before! just hang
in there, man. No matter what happens, things always tend to work
themselves out, ok?

 

[Yellowbomber]

work eat rest and repeat again STAY FOCUSED cause bodybuilding is your life
Nice to have you here

 

[vinnie]

Girl friend found out and is not happy about it. Besides that, i have been having non stop problems with sources and getting gear myself. you will all think im crazy but maybe its a sign for me to quit the juice. It has been more of a hassle than i really think its worth. im just tierd of the bullshit i have to go through to get gear. close friends found out i was on gear and they now look at me differently in a sense. maybe some time in the future i will go back to gear. i dont think its working out for me right now. i have all these negative effects with only one positive. i asked myself if its worth it. i will still be at the board and will still try to learn and maybe give comments and advise to help others.
vinnie

 

[Digital Ronin]

For what it's worth man, you're still the same person your friends and girlfriend have known all along... I mean, they didn't think anything of you before they found out that you used gear. This is just a chance for you to dispell the evil stigma around AS use.

And yes, all of my friends know I use AS and no, they all don't approve of it...

 

[nandroloner]

Bummer. I talked to my GF before I started and just pretty much said "This is what I'm going to do" but not everyone can do that. You make me wonder if it wasn't your girlfriend who told your close personal friends about it. If so, I would be pissed. I don't want anyone else to know, mainly because it's not legal. I don't really give a damn what they think about it. It's my body, my choice, my fuc*ing business!

Sorry to hear you had such problems though bro.

 

[trial0r]

Hey man, I've been there. It's that damn Muscle Dysmorphia talking.
Just yesterday I quit my shoulder workout early because I felt so small and weak. It happens. It's hard to keep mentally focused at times.
I get sick of eating all the time... my joints hurt... I'm tired... all of that comes into play.
All I can suggest is to do what I do... because that's all I know.
I try to think back to why I started doing this. What was my goal. What did I look like when I started as compared to now. Why did I even start living this lifestyle.
When I think about that, I realize why I do it. And then I think about how bad I hated how skinny I was. And if I stop now, I may end up going back to it.
Is that what I want?
To be a skinny little bitch again?
Or do I wanna hit that 20" arm mark?
Take a few days off if you need to.
Eat shitty.
Sleep all day.
Do what you need to do to realize how good it feels to keep hittin' that gym.
If you need to lay off the gear for a while... by all means do it.
Just don't give up.
We're in this together.
All of us.
Don't let yourself down.

great advice...

 

[M56M]

Its called...jealousy. If your friends had the balls and the connections to do it 99% of them would. And just wait, because before you know it they will be asking you where to get it. And as far as your girl goes, i bet she didn't complain when she was rubbing up against a hard body...

Man do what makes you happy and if this insn't making you happy, take sometime off and get everything straight. And then try to make a more solid decision. Good Luck.

M56M

 

[MadCow1]

Well don't get me wrong those factors you've mentioned are THE MOST IMPORTANT, but none have changed my life the way steroids have. They've made me more confident about myself (before I had low self-esteem), I am a better brother, son, and friend now than before. And I feel I have more opportunities now than before. I'd like to restate, their not my whole life, but they have changed my life for the better.

Many of us have had similar experiences including myself. The reality is that although you feel they gave you self esteem you actually gave it to yourself. You just needed convincing - provided in this case by accomplishing your goals and attaining a stronger body.

The problem is that in many cases users of these drugs build their new found self esteem around their physiques and strength which tends to decrease to an extent when drug use is discontinued. The self esteem is supported by the physical body and this leads to these substances being mentally addictive.

Going to the old saying about a sound structure needing a solid foundation - one's health and vitality is fleeting at best and we all grow old and die - the foundation of this self esteem is weak if it is based on our physiques.

What to take from this is that we need to realize that it was ourselves who imposed the low self-esteem in the first place and that we were able to lift it when we decided that we were successful. We control how the world makes us feel. When your self-esteem was low, you allowed yourself to be brought down.

We have self-esteem when we feel good about ourselves (in the case of many on this board - being big and strong equates with how one feels about him/herself). The essential trick is to feel good about ourselves all the time.

The recipe is a life of honesty, caring, and integrity where we choose only those actions that make us proud of ourselves. By applying consistent effort to live this type of life one gradually transforms oneself into the type of person you want to be. This is the only solid foundation possible and it is built through the same type of effort we put into our workouts - dedication, consistency, and unyielding discipline.

 

[liquidanny]

Do some creatine/TMZ that may even give you some natural gains for a while.....just remember...if you stay natural for a couple of months and you weigh more and are stronger than before you started your last cycle..you improved overall...be it just 5 pounds....its an improvement.

 

[megabump]

who wants a gf like that? or friends? your post leads to believe that you are too young to do steroids in the first place. once you grow up, people tend to let you live your own life.

and how the hell do you live in san diego and have a hard time gettin gear? Your about as close to mexico as one can get.

 

[vinnie]

too young for gear. you dont even know me. first of all im 25 and yes i am in SanDiego. You think its as easy as driiving into mex and driving back. your wrong. someone i know just got caught bringing back gear for me from mexico. i cant take that risk since i already have a felony on my record. it is starting to be more of a problem thatn anything. now i just need to try to find a way to deal with the depression and lack of motivation. i get to the gym and feel like walking right out. i look in the mirror and get pissed at myself. the list goes on and on. anyone else been like this before?

 

[Big Brother Val]

Hey, Vinnie... you seem to have some legitmate problems going on. I understand how stressful it has to be. I've been there. Hell, my now x-wife called the cops on me for having it. She knew I was on... but used it against me in a fight.
Don't make any concrete decisions.
Don't make the decision to just quit and be done with it.
Take some time.
Work things out.
If you truly in your heart believe laying off is what's for you... then do it.
But if you take a step back, and look at things, I think you'll realize why you do what you do.
The value you have of your loved ones' opinions of you is admirable, but can also be detrimental.
Take their views of gear with a grain of salt, and do what is best for you.
You can even help them try to understand it.
Madcow has made some wonderful points here.
Just take care of yourself.
Don't rush into things.
We're all behind you.

 

[vinnie]

thanks guys. im going to do my best to focus and try to get motivated again. ill see what happens in the future.

 

[GFI]

Vinnie, you and I are in the situation...My girlfriend found out and gave me an option..I pick the right one, my girl. I've been off gear for about 7 mths now, now that I look back on the days of doing gear it really does not make a difference to me...I had more negatives then positives...and to think about my attitude towards training now is totally different...gear is fun, yes but training natural is more smarter in the long run...no flame bro's

 

[vinnie]

i hear ya man. i was emberrased today in the gym. my strength dropped throught the floor. i still busted my ass but ended up leaving early. i couldnt hang any longer.

 

[CrazyRican]

vinnie i know exactly what you are going through. i finished my cycle 4 weeks ago, gained 17 pounds i have lost 12 since. my strengh is down and i'm not motivated at all. i know why i lost the weight i understood it was my fault. i'm dealing with it but i am getting ready for my next cycle in september. i can't wait. anyways you seem to feel strongly about your decision so follow your instincts you know what's wright for you. best of luck and take care!!!!!!!!!

 

[Hypnotica]

Vinny get your ass in gear..i told you where i work....Come and visit me i'll motivate you..with a quick talk.....Don't be one of those who goes through life wondering what it would have been like to have lived your life to the fullest....About your girlfriend tell her it'a a lot of dogma...And that if she smokes drinks its worse for you...Tell your friends That your experimenting because its better to have real life experience and knowledge from that ...than ignorant minds based on propaganda.....



i have done every drug combination know to man..I feel great look great And am Mentally acute And i can honestly say... what is bullshit and what is not....Yes I'm experimentist but it has made all the difference in the true freedom of life that i now enjoy....remember Moderation and balance...Or you can just take the easy way out and quit

 

[Hypnotica]

ps..Using gear is like adding Octane to gas it doen't make the car...Good basic...I've trained natural for a long time with occuasional uses with good results....I think alot of people on this board think its the only way...Thats Bullshit....I developed an Extremley Great shape before ever using gear....After 15 years of training there are ups and downs ..just staying consistent during these times will get you through ...to new levels of development....
So either way quit and become mundane. or relieze that your the only one you really can compare your results to...With or without gear you'll still improve...but with a name like vinny I'd say your itaillian and what would the itailians do...{remember the eye of the tiger}

 

[nexus7]

Vinny get your ass in gear..i told you where i work....Come and visit me i'll motivate you..with a quick talk.....Don't be one of those who goes through life wondering what it would have been like to have lived your life to the fullest....About your girlfriend tell her it'a a lot of dogma...And that if she smokes drinks its worse for you...Tell your friends That your experimenting because its better to have real life experience and knowledge from that ...than ignorant minds based on propaganda.....



i have done every drug combination know to man..I feel great look great And am Mentally acute And i can honestly say... what is bullshit and what is not....Yes I'm experimentist but it has made all the difference in the true freedom of life that i now enjoy....remember Moderation and balance...Or you can just take the easy way out and quit

I strongly agree with Hypnotica...

better get a grip, and get them 10 weeks EQ flowing through your veins...keep your chin up, man...

 

[yiyangzhi]

Hey Vinnie, I was one of the bros who liked an update on your eq only cycle. Its sad to hear you are not continuing it. But you should. Take a short break if u like, then get back on gear!

 

[Enigmaxxx7]

Can I have your gf's phone number

 

[Chameleon]

....remember Moderation and balance

i don't have the experience the rest of these guys have...but i live by that quote Hypnotica said...also...i must say i personally have been enlightened by Madcow1's knowledge...i think many of us started training b/c of confidence problems or society's pressures to be the biggest and the strongest...

The problem is that in many cases users of these drugs build their new found self esteem around their physiques and strength which tends to decrease to an extent when drug use is discontinued.

realize how hard you have worked to get to where u r today...you busted your ass in the gym and eating for years i'm sure(no one said it was easy)...No discredit to you b/c the people around u dissaprove of juice...(ignorance)...they care about u though...realize what's important to u in your life(your girlfriends and friends should be their to support u not make you feel like shit)...sorry don't mean to sound repettive to what everyone else is saying but i think many ppl hear really do understand...

...take some time off from the gym and find yourself

 

[GearedChupaCabra]

bey bro i defenetly understand where you`re coming from

i went throught the same shit.....just hang in there, thibgs will work out for the best.

 

[vinnie]

I DECIDED TO KEEP WORKING OUT EVEN THOUGH MY STRENGTH AND SOME MASS HAVE DROPPED. I HAVE SUPPORT FROM OTHERS IN THE GYM AS WELL THAT KNOW WHAT IM GOING THROUGH. I KIND OF FEEL LIKE IM LETTING MYSELF DOWN. ILL SEE HOW THINGS GO. I PLAN ON STILL POSTING ON THE BOARD.

 

[naughty_nando]

CHIN UP DUDE, LOOK AT ALL THE SUPPORT YOUR GETTING HERE!!!

 

[Big Brother Val]

Right on, Vinnie.

 

[vinnie]

anyone know about a good motivator to get me sparked at the gym. something with not too much ephedrine.

 

[TxLonghorn]

Vinnie, you might try just taking a few days off from the gym. I do that after a cycle. I am usually a little burned out and need the mental rest, not to mention my physical recovery is not as good when I am off.

Take a break. Just remember, a month is not a break, lol.

 

[Trevdog]

Mighty dog is probably right about your test levels and depression. Bro there is no shame in feeling depressed, we have all been there to some degree.

I have always been an insomniac and had some problems with anxiety since I have a stressful job. At times I had racing heart, loss of appetite, shortness of breath, irratable bowel... A few years ago I started taking St. John's wort. Do some research on it. It is a really mild herb, but for me, it has been wonderful. It helps me sleep, has pretty much eliminated the anxiety. It has been shown to help mild depression. The first few weeks were almost euphoric since it was like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I could go on with life and work "normally".

As for getting up for the gym, I know you mentioned not too much ephedrine. I take just one xenadrine before the gym and have a shake with some oatmeal, and that usually does it for me.

Also, I think exercise is key for treating depression. I do it as much for the way it calms me down and keeps me on an even keel as for the cosmetic effects it has.

Finally, there is no shame in getting counseling. My parents sent me to somebody in high school since I was getting into trouble. I just kind of played along, but it was really helpful and I wouldn't hesitate to do is again.

Keep your chin up bro and don't forget to count your blessings. After all, you could have been born in Etheopia.

 

[vinnie]

thanks to all the replies.
i have already started to feel better about myself and have continued to hit the gym. im not the size i used to be but i have been working on getting lean and ripped. i think im going to go all natural for a while. the gains are real real real real slow but it is alot easier on my mind knowing im not going to lose what i gain. i guess its like picking a mutual fund instead of a active stock. slow but steady. i have also been working on my tan and it helps me look bigger. thanks
vinnie