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Mustard on my groin....

Nathan

New member
Don't you guys think the human body is a truly great thing?
*Cue dramatic music.*
I mean, we have all these parts with so many differet functions. I find it riveting that our own brains render us embarrased to talk about many aspects of our anatomies. For instance, if I were to stand up now and turn to one of my co-workers and graphically describe my penis and all its subtle nuances I would get embarrassed and I'm sure so would my co-worker. I find it amusing that I can be totally aware of some things and yet still be completely emotionally crippled when it comes time to act. For example, say you are sweet on some young thing from the gym and she is constantly flirting with you. I'll bet that when it comes time to act on your emotions you still get nervous and flustered even though you know what their answer will be (if you don't then up yours cause I have social anxiety disorder so it sucks double for me). I wish I could unlearn all the emotional reactions I have been programmed to incorporate into my daily life and simply be free to do whatever the fuck I want. Basically, I want to be able to masturbate in public places alright? I don't have it in me though and it's tearing me up inside. Dammit all to hell!!!!
 
no matter what I spill on me, I always claim I just pissed myself.
it makes for great looks on people's faces.

and when I'm drunk, I'm known to walk around loudly announcing to people that I've just shit my pants.
 
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