B
Bigredcanecorso
Guest
Lets get all these losers in one room and do them a favor......KILL THEM NOW!!!!
blut wump said:Tell him next time that he can get more reps out if he doesn't move the bar so far. He's losing energy with all that movement. You could even point out that gravity is slightly weaker the further away from the ground the bar is. That explains why you can use more weight at the top of the rep and why long-armed guys can bench more.
blut wump said:We have a guy who utters "kha" during every rep of every set of every exercise he does. There's this seemingly endless cadence of "kha, kha, kha, kha ..." through his 12 or 20 reps then a couple of minutes pause before it starts again.
djeclipse said:All the time I read about your encounters with jackasses at the gym that do rediculous workouts, make resiculous claims simply do lifts improperly with very limited range of motion. I personally like reading about them as them are always good for a chuckle. Post your stories here for us all to enjoy.
Here are 2 stories from my workout yesterday.
Yesterday I was doing squats which are pretty sad at this point in time, legs are by far my weakest bodypart. The weight doesn't feel heavy on my back at all (that used to be a big issue), thanks to this board I have the weight resting properly on my shoulders instead of my spine, I don't even feel it which lets me focus more on the actual squat.
Anyway I am just about to do my last set when these 2 douches tried to hurry me off the squat rack. I was doing full ATF squats (to get 4 reps of a whopping 195lbs, yes my legs are very week), while these 2 tools stair at me with an odd look on their faces like I'm doing something they've never seen before.
I remove my weights and give them the rack. The guy has that spung pad thing in his hand and gives me this look like he's hard core. They then proceed to do these 1/4 squats moving about 6" up and down (no exaggeration) working up to the same weight I just finished doing full ATF squats with. Of course after their set they would walk around with their chests pushed out like they were some kind of strongmen... Do they seriously think they are doing squats?
Then the one guy loads the bar up with a 45, 25, & 35 plate in that order (on each side) and does the same 1/4squat does about 2 times and I guess for the 3rd one he went down to far and learned pretty fast that he was unable to do a full squat with that weight... he just dropped and had to leave the bar on the rack.
Story #2, I was asked to spot this guy on the smith machine doing decline bench (the gym doesn't have a decline bench so a lot of the guys use the smith machine). It was loaded up with way more then this roid head could ever dream of lifting. He literally move the bear up and down like 3", I was like WTF is this guy doing. I stood there trying not to laugh and only helped him get the bar back to the top for the last "rep". He gets up and says "man, that sucked, I usually do more".
I see this that same guy try and tell his buddy to do his BBrows standing at a 45deg angle because he gets a better pimp that way. He didn't like it much when I mentioned that for the best possible back growth they should be done 90deg to the ground, back arched etc, and doing them at 45deg was more of a biceps workout then back. He was even more pissed when his buddy took my advice and did a few sets properly.
What is it with these guys doing these half assed lifts with such limited range of motion? I can see if they are injured but what's the point of loading up the bar only to do a half assed set.
LMFAO .... I LOVE this thread ...blut wump said:We have a guy who utters "kha" during every rep of every set of every exercise he does. There's this seemingly endless cadence of "kha, kha, kha, kha ..." through his 12 or 20 reps then a couple of minutes pause before it starts again.
Lee said:Today I saw a guy absolutely destroying his biceps, but not in the good way. I was in there, and after my whole routine, which was 45 minutes, he was still diong curls. When I came in he was doing preachers, i saw him do 5 sets of those after i got there. Then he did standing BB Curls, 5 more sets, THEN 5 sets of standing DB curls. When I was leaving he was flexing in the mirror and smiling. I was smiling as well, knowing how much of an idiot he is.
Thanks for sharing this thread in your log buns... Awesome. I have been cracking up all morning taking breaks reading this. I love the ka ka ka one also... I could just imagine standing there thinking who let the crow in?*Bunny* said:LMFAO .... I LOVE this thread ...
You guys keep 'em coming![]()
*Bunny* said:LMFAO .... I LOVE this thread ...
You guys keep 'em coming![]()
~Troy~ said:How about the dumb fucks who juice and walk around like they are superman but are NEVER seen doing squats or any legs work..
Pathetic
djeclipse said:90% of the people at my gym are these type of people. I never see them doing anything but chest and bies, and every once in a while they will do shoulder press on the smith machine of course.
And since they are all juiced up they still get big on their shitty ass program. The funny thing is when they go off a cycle they literally SHRINK to 1/3 the size and are weak as shit.
and that may be why some folks stay on year round or most of the year.djeclipse said:90% of the people at my gym are these type of people. I never see them doing anything but chest and bies, and every once in a while they will do shoulder press on the smith machine of course.
And since they are all juiced up they still get big on their shitty ass program. The funny thing is when they go off a cycle they literally SHRINK to 1/3 the size and are weak as shit.
Hey, that's cheating! Some people will do anything to get more votes for their threaddjeclipse said:Cough, cough...
http://www.elitefitness.com/forum/showthread.php?t=456397
Shameless plug... Vote for Pedro.

theotheranotherbutters said:Hey, that's cheating! Some people will do anything to get more votes for their thread![]()
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markshark said:also people that go on the treadmill naked and pee everywhere while running. and poop.
njlw226 said:Is this a joke??? What?????
djeclipse said:Maybe he works out at home and this is a problem of his he is working on.


djeclipse said:Maybe he works out at home and this is a problem of his he is working on.

DZLS said:seen some dickhead using the Smith machine for bench press the other day...
he proceeded to load it up to about 240 pounds, put the safety stops about 6" above his chest, and bounced the weight off the stops each and every rep...
DZLS said:seen some dickhead using the Smith machine for bench press the other day...
he proceeded to load it up to about 240 pounds, put the safety stops about 6" above his chest, and bounced the weight off the stops each and every rep...
DZLS said:seen some dickhead using the Smith machine for bench press the other day...
he proceeded to load it up to about 240 pounds, put the safety stops about 6" above his chest, and bounced the weight off the stops each and every rep...
oh... the sheer pleasure of watching the weight fall on their chest and pin them down.... and then the shouts of "help" out of sheer desperation.... face turns red.... i LOVE itmarkshark said:i love when people tell me they can bench all this weight on the smith machine, then u ask them to try that weight on a real bench and it falls on them.

Mr.Muscle said:The funniest thing I ever saw at the gym. There was a guy running on a treadmill. He kept turning the speed up. He had to be running about 10mph when his workout partner runs over behind the tm and acts like hes going to jump on the back. I just stood there and watched as this guy jumps on the back of the tm. He literally done a front flip, landed on his back, and shot off the tm head first strait threw the wall. It really messed him up but he lived. I dont think he'll do that again. Absolutely the funniest thing I ever saw. This really happened. I'm laughing now just thinking about it.
silver_shadow said:here's a good one from a few years ago.
there was this one annoying guy in the gym who'd all always be making very audible cocky wise guy cracks at some of the monsters. no one really paid much attention by and large probably coz he was one skinny mother fucker. so once he asks me to spot him on the bench and i agreed. so he unracks what would have been close to his max and struggles thro 3 reps on his own. so he mumbles to me to help him get it back in the rack coz he can't take any more and i psyche him up with " come on u can do another one". so he lets the bar down the 4th time and at that point i stand back and watch the fun. the bar wasn't moving at all and he starts to get frantic. then he struggles some more, sees it isn't going anywhere rests it on his chest to try another heave. so on his second attempt it still isn't budging and he starts to scream for help. for a good 30 seconds some of the other guys just put down whatever they were doing and snickered. finally the owner comes running and helps the bar off his chest and then yells at him for lifting a weight he couldn't handle!![]()
markshark said:this is actually another funny story i saw once at the gym. this one guy was going to the bathroom (poop) right next to me when i was doing incline curls. i looked at him and i was like "that stinks" and he did a head stand. everyone thought it was really strange. then he put a plate on the t bar row and was pullin it real fast with one arm and with the other hand was pretendin he was fuckin a broad and was slappin her ass.
LOL I don't even get how that is possible ... & here's me trying to picture itdjeclipse said:lol, good stoyr but I am going to have to call BS on this one....
PhillyBoyInTN said:There was a guy at my old gym that would work out for awhile but you could always tell when he was done..... he'd be standing around talking to the PT holding his gym bag drinking a 20oz Coke.

no he just slunk away and kept a low profile after that. since then he never spoke to me. if i came anywhere near him, he'd try and avoid me.djeclipse said:Did he say anything to you after the owner came to the rescue?
and how could i forget, they were wearing belts while benching! today i saw the same guys doing all manner of lat pulldowns and cable rows.... and yep you guessed it - they were wearing belts!silver_shadow said:today i saw these 2 scrawny assholes walk in and proceed to do flat bench (the last time i saw them (2 days ago).... yep you guessed it - they did flat bench and a whole lot of chest exercises. so these guys get in a few warm up sets and then they are up to 175. one guy lies down on the bench and then the other guy actually stands over him to spot - he didn't stand behind the bench he was standing with his crotch over his friend. so they unrack the weight and it falls right down on the bencher's chest. then the spotter uses all his might and manages to get it right up with a little help from the bencher. so they managed a few reps till lockout like this. then they reverse roles and repeat the whole thing. next, they jump straight to 220 and i'm like WTF. then, it turns out they had another scrawny friend (who was curling obviously) and they call this guy. so the 3rd guy stands behind the bench and the other guy stands over his partner and the 2 guys unrack and move the bar up & down for a few reps with a little feather touch from the dick lying down! and then they again reverse roles and repeat.... makes you wonder who the spotter was....!!!!![]()
oh ya, then they get up and give me the "i own you" look....![]()
2.5 Years said:I had always read stories like these before and got a could laugh out of them but had never actually seen anything really funny since my old gym was for more hard-core lifters (I was by far the weakest of anyone there which was great for learning quickly). My new gym - the Y - hasn't been too bad until the college kids started getting out for vacation a couple of weeks before Christmas (no personal offense to any college kids reading this right now)...
The best one was this college kid who was pretty big and was hitting bech several Mondays back. He looked like he could move some weight and was pretty intense but the funny thing was that he was not shy about checking himself out in the mirror before, during and after his lifts - he'd flex in front of the mirror before he'd get down, poke his head up when he had the weight at the top of the lift and then get back in front of the mirror directly after to see what "direct effects" his last set just had. To top it off, after he was done with his bench set he took one final look in the mirror and then proceeded to SHADOW BOX for a good 10 seconds followed by more flexing. And for a final demonstration of his raw power, he performed 2 karate kicks which were actually impressive because he appeared to have good form and managed not to kick anything or anyone over because it's so friggin tight in the weight area.
One of the truly funny things I'd seen that week.
musketeer said:My GF told me about her gym on Wed night:
About 8 ghetto type guys we crowded around the smith machine with one of the instructors and a little guy - all wrapped up in a belt and knee wraps. They were al screaming and shouting as the little guy unlocked the bar and proceeded to do 5 half reps with all the weight plates in the gym. The guy nearly fell out of the smith after locking out and screamed "OH fuck!! Yeah!!! FUUUCCKKK!"
The guy on the bike next to my GF leaned over and said "Pretty amazing, huh?"
When she told him that her boyfriend could easily do that weight with no smith for about 20 reps he looked at her like she was crazy.
Oh and the weight on the bar - about 300lbs...

blut wump said:A well-deserved winner for thread of the week.
We had 'kha-kha' guy in again on Monday. I couldn't do my sets while he was doing his. I kept thinking about this thread and couldn't concentrate on the lifts.
I totally agree! I just wish I could contribute something as funny as these posts, but I guess I should be happy these people don't frequent either one of my gyms.vin01 said:Everytime I imagine a guy doing this I burst out laughing.
If I am ever having a bad day, this thread is where I come to make it better.
*Bunny* said:I totally agree! I just wish I could contribute something as funny as these posts, but I guess I should be happy these people don't frequent either one of my gyms.
LOL I KNOW right? WTF!? ... stupid enough for me to notice? No not yet. Worthy enough of me to post about? No way ... Nothing. AT EITHER gym. I sit & think what can I post, and NOTHING comes to mind ... nothing compares to the things I've read on here .. and I don't wanna post some stupid petty female crap ya know?djeclipse said:You're telling me there's no one at your gym that does stupid shit like this? Morons are everywhere, the percentages say there has to be at least one of these people at your gym.
*Bunny* said:I don't wanna post some stupid petty female crap ya know?
LMFAO ... that's friggin disgusting. Only thing I can give ya Bally's related is the reason why I quit ... which involved an abductor adductor leg machine, a bunch of mirrors and men leering with their mouth open at my crotch. I haven't used one since but I'm past the cardio & light weight only stage for fear I get 'big'Jim Ouini said:
Jim Ouini said:

I hear ya - I've been doing good mornings lately and the looks I get are great. I'm pretty sure that I'll have a good 'MATG(tot)' story soon - lots of guys who don't speak English work out here and have some pretty odd workouts, but have yet to do something truly moronic. It's just a matter of time....*Bunny* said:Other than bad form, misconceptions about how to train, the occasional hammer pants and guy who REALLY need to train his legs, there really isn't anything worthy to post about ... yet. I cant help but think others label me as the 'moron' ... but I'll take it![]()
suggested I post it on here sooooooo here ya go.......BiggT said:This is nothing out of the ordinary, but this past Monday, otherwise known as 'international bench press day' there was a skinny kid, about my height, but maybe 100lbs less than me, and he was benchin'. He did 135 for 8 sloppy reps, then I saw him get burried with 225 and have his spotter save him, so what does he do? ...... he puts 315 on, gets burried and has his spotter pull it off of him, what does he do next????..............he goes to 405, but his spotter talked him out of it, and if he didn't I probably would have because there is only so much I can take.
Tweakle said:there is one grossly fat, overcompensating dad who puts his inbred looking son through some great half-rep tag-team workouts... come on boy, you can do it, strong, strong! I very much enjoyed the one and only time I asked to work in on the squat rack with them and poppa Cankles challenged me to lift the immensely heavy weight on the pins.. could I REALLY do 405? He could do it, I'd just seen him go down about 6 inches, topple forward slightly, turn purple and 'back' the weight up for a great max effort.
well, I said I don't know - I've never tried to lift so much weight.. maybe he could give me some pointers on how to do the exercise? He visibly puffed up and started bragging in front of his son, so it was very satisfying to see him shut his enormous mouth once I started repping out full, paused front squats. I think I caught him muttering something about 'steroids' to his son as they walked away from the rack
BiggT said:This is nothing out of the ordinary, but this past Monday, otherwise known as 'international bench press day' there was a skinny kid, about my height, but maybe 100lbs less than me, and he was benchin'. He did 135 for 8 sloppy reps, then I saw him get burried with 225 and have his spotter save him, so what does he do? ...... he puts 315 on, gets burried and has his spotter pull it off of him, what does he do next????..............he goes to 405, but his spotter talked him out of it, and if he didn't I probably would have because there is only so much I can take.
markshark said:WHAT??!!!!!!
oh really? from some cute boys standing behind staring at your crotch each time you bend forward?Guinness5.0 said:I hear ya - I've been doing good mornings lately and the looks I get are great. I'm pretty sure that I'll have a good 'MATG(tot)' story soon - lots of guys who don't speak English work out here and have some pretty odd workouts, but have yet to do something truly moronic. It's just a matter of time....
lanky said:i cant stand the people who take the locker right next to yours when there are 100 others open, and then when you try to get to your locker after a workout they are standing in front of you locker nbaked trying to get dressed, but it usually takes them 10 minutes to get their underware on(usually the geriatric population)[/QUOTE
Omg that reminds me of something that happened to my husband. We had finished up our workout and he walked in the locker room to get his stuff. ANd he said he had to wait around b/c he couldn't get to his locker. I said why. He said b/c 2 old nasty naked asses had it sandwiched between them and I'm not about to get in the middle of that. I had to laugh!
BiggT said:This is nothing out of the ordinary, but this past Monday, otherwise known as 'international bench press day' ...
blut wump said:I'm not aware of any structural damage caused to muscles by the presence of an extra X chromosome and the removal of a Y. Pound for pound there's no known strength difference between trained male and female muscle.
Yeah I bought a towel and layed it across my lap on those machines, same thing. Try doing them when you are on a military installation and the only girl about in the gym.*Bunny* said:LMFAO ... that's friggin disgusting. Only thing I can give ya Bally's related is the reason why I quit ... which involved an abductor adductor leg machine, a bunch of mirrors and men leering with their mouth open at my crotch. I haven't used one since but I'm past the cardio & light weight only stage for fear I get 'big'![]()
treilin said:Yeah I bought a towel and layed it across my lap on those machines, same thing. Try doing them when you are on a military installation and the only girl about in the gym.
i'd do thattreilin said:Here you go another moron...
"Ohhh but before I even got to the squat rack this Asian dude was sitting there revving himself up to do a bicep curl with the squat bar. He kept walking up to it and then tapping it and walking backwards and walking up to it.. over and over.. I finally said to him,"Are you going to use that bar or play with it?" He said,"Yeah I have one more set." I said,"Well do it then already!"
Ohhh and for the guys who like to stand behind me while I do cable ab crunches I can see you phucking staring at my @ss in the mirror in front of you!
blut wump said:A well-deserved winner for thread of the week.
We had 'kha-kha' guy in again on Monday. I couldn't do my sets while he was doing his. I kept thinking about this thread and couldn't concentrate on the lifts.
The Iotola said:Ill match your 'kha-kha' guy and raise you one "ppfffffftttsssssssssss pppppffffssssssss"
Imagine your typical "pfft" sound. Now picture it in a high pitch and drag it out for about 4 seconds followed with 2 more seconds of sssssssss. The guy is a in his 40's, Hindi I believe about 5"6 and wears a purple tank top, high soccer shorts, and gloves.

who's blowing?!BiggT said:I guess I will have to post for the ever-present 50-something guy with about 45% bodyfat who blow dries his balls at peak hours. Not that anybody blow drying their balls is a welcome site, lol, but I thought I'd give the visual.
(still TOTALLY oblivious)
worst pick up line ever....BiggT said:Do you wrestle for Penn State?
Thanks ... now I have to clean up my shake I just spit all over my computer ...BiggT said:I guess I will have to post for the ever-present 50-something guy with about 45% bodyfat who blow dries his balls at peak hours. Not that anybody blow drying their balls is a welcome site, lol, but I thought I'd give the visual.

BiggT said:I guess I will have to post for the ever-present 50-something guy with about 45% bodyfat who blow dries his balls at peak hours. Not that anybody blow drying their balls is a welcome site, lol, but I thought I'd give the visual.
Nasty visual!Yeah well I don't want to think that some guy is staring at me and going home and getting off to what visual he just programmed into his mind. Well unless he was hawt... then he should just come up to me and talk because then there is always the possibilty of some small chance dreams can become reality.silver_shadow said:i'd do that![]()
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