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Captain_insano
Guest
Running out of decent pick-up lines to impress chicks with? Try these on for size. One of em is bound to work eventually.
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
I love every bone in your body. Especially mine.
If we were squirrels would you play with my nuts?
Have you ever tripped over a tree? How 'bout a root then?
Do you like chocolate milk? Then suck my dick, cuz it's Primo!
Hey baby! Do you believe in the "Here-After"? Well you know what I'm here after!
Ask a girl her name. When she tells you, reply that your name is "Milk". When she looks at you strangely, reply, "I'll do your body good!"
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feedbag.
If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
My love for you is like diarrhoea...I just can't hold it in.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
You remind me of a championship bass...I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
Your parents must be retarded because you are special.
Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?
I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open and I'll put my head in.
Hi baby! How about you come over to my house and we'll have pizza and fuck?
*Girl slaps you* What? Don't you like pizza?
Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight and eat the difference!
Ever seen a grown man naked?
You look sick. I think you need a dose of "penis"sillin.
You've got nice legs, when do they open?
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
You got nice breasts, but what colour are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
Do you want to see something swell?
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you have a nice set of buns.
I miss my teddy bear, would you sleep with me?
I'm on fire; can I run through your sprinkler?
I'm leaving this place ... want to cum?
Is it cold or are you just smuggling tic-tac's?
Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I'll guess how much you weigh.
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
Ask girl if she likes jewellery. Then grab your nuts and say, "Then suck this, it's a gem!"
If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
I love every bone in your body. Especially mine.
If we were squirrels would you play with my nuts?
Have you ever tripped over a tree? How 'bout a root then?
Do you like chocolate milk? Then suck my dick, cuz it's Primo!
Hey baby! Do you believe in the "Here-After"? Well you know what I'm here after!
Ask a girl her name. When she tells you, reply that your name is "Milk". When she looks at you strangely, reply, "I'll do your body good!"
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feedbag.
If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
How do you like your eggs? Poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
My love for you is like diarrhoea...I just can't hold it in.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?
You remind me of a championship bass...I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
Your parents must be retarded because you are special.
Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?
I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open and I'll put my head in.
Hi baby! How about you come over to my house and we'll have pizza and fuck?
*Girl slaps you* What? Don't you like pizza?
Sit on my face and I'll guess your weight and eat the difference!
Ever seen a grown man naked?
You look sick. I think you need a dose of "penis"sillin.
You've got nice legs, when do they open?
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
You got nice breasts, but what colour are your nipples? Brown or Pink?
Do you want to see something swell?
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
Your daddy must have been a baker, because you have a nice set of buns.
I miss my teddy bear, would you sleep with me?
I'm on fire; can I run through your sprinkler?
I'm leaving this place ... want to cum?
Is it cold or are you just smuggling tic-tac's?
Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I'll guess how much you weigh.
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
Ask girl if she likes jewellery. Then grab your nuts and say, "Then suck this, it's a gem!"
