mitch hedberg. dead.

rushx79 · Mar 31, 2005

http://www.thedotdotdot.com/humor/hedberg.html

just found out mitch hedberg passed away. its really too bad, the guy was young and had a very unique style of comedy that im sure would have taken him far. any other fans?

r.i.p.

SoKlueles · Mar 31, 2005

sorry, i dont know who he is but RIP

bran987 · Mar 31, 2005

oh man that guy was hilarious

The Long List of Quotes

I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide."

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.

Razorguns · Mar 31, 2005

Never heard of the guy. Who is he???

jackangel · Mar 31, 2005

bran987 said:
oh man that guy was hilarious

The Long List of Quotes

I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.

I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide."

I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.

lol

UA_Iron · Mar 31, 2005

Mitch Hedberg was one awesome comedian, its a shame he died.

I saw a human pyramid once, it was totally unnecessary.

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

This product that was on TV was available for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like a product that was available for three easy payments and one complicated payment. We can't tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is going to be fucken hard.

rushx79 · Mar 31, 2005

"I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that."

bran987 · Mar 31, 2005

I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".

I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up."

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."

bran987 · Mar 31, 2005

I bought a seven dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.

ass_face · Mar 31, 2005

This is terrible news. For those that have had the pleasure of seeing him perform, he will be sorely missed. I really thought he would be the next comic to have a major breakthrough in the next few years. Looks like that won't be happening.

from zero · Mar 31, 2005

Sad news indeed. He was a terrific comedian.

pitbullstl · Mar 31, 2005

bran987 said:
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut... I don't need a receipt for the doughnut. I give you money and you give me the doughnut, end of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario that I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. To some skeptical friend, Don't even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here... It's in my file at home. ...Under "D".

I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up."

At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said "Certainly." He said "Do I need to dial 9?" I say "Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back to back real quick."

I forgot just how funny that dude was.........until reading the dougnut scenario.

R.I.P.

CFZB · Mar 31, 2005

hell yeah that guy was great.He had me in stitches.

KillahBee · Mar 31, 2005

just downloaded a full album of his onto my ipod. weird. love that guy.

UA_Iron · Mar 31, 2005

some people just dont find him funny....lame-os

Its good shit for road trips I must say

CFZB · Mar 31, 2005

he had the funniest deliveries.Very matter of fact about stupid stuff....he was cool.I bet he OD'ed though for sure.

madbomber31 · Mar 31, 2005

april fools joke to be finished on stern.

from zero · Mar 31, 2005

Rumor has it he had a bad heroin problem. I bet that's what did him in.

CFZB · Mar 31, 2005

BLITZ99 said:
april fools joke to be finished on stern.

That would be funny.

JoNeS · Mar 31, 2005

I really hope this is just an April fools joke. This guy was by far the funniest comedian I have ever seen on tv and live. I love this guy.

slickdadd · Mar 31, 2005

No April Fools joke. He's gone. Too bad. He cracked me up. A great stoner sense of humor.

CrazyRussian · Mar 31, 2005

This guy was awesome...his delivery was so cool and matter-of-fact, but the shit he said was hilarious. I don't usually like comedians, but he, Dave Chapelle, and Chris Rock were my top 3.

Wow..RIP

JayC9 · Mar 31, 2005

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Mitch Hedberg

LOL

H_T_ · Apr 1, 2005

that fucking sucks.

H_T_ · Apr 1, 2005

considering how many un-funny comics are still breathing. seems that after you make your first 10 million or so, you don't have to be funny anymore.

CrazyRussian · Apr 1, 2005

If any of yall have Kazaa or LimeWire...look up Mitch Hedberg. There's some files of him 40-60 MB...well worth the download

I've never been stoned, but I can imagine that his jokes would be hilarious as fuck when stoned...and they're pretty god damn funny even sober.

"No matter how good at tennis I'd get, I'd never be as good as a wall"
"I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls, but on the day the rubber was supposed to come, the truck came with a bunch of potatoes. They're a laid back company so they said "fuck it, lets cut em up"
"If carrots made you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up"

mitch hedberg. dead.

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