Marriage

[atlantabiolab]

I would like to get married. Not in any rush though...if anything my standards may be too high...but my available time is so low that I can barely date much now...anyway...

Part of it is willingess to make a commitment to one person above all others, and to have some kind of official recognition of it.

People might object to that reasoning, saying that if that commitment is genuine, why do you need the state's sanctioing? Well, there are a few reasons - first the practical:

Many benefits, from government and other soruces, apply to married couples but not necessarily to two people living together. This includes health benefits, and there are some other advantages for business ownership and taxation, etc., that only pertain to married couples.

Overly practical perhaps, but at the same time, ignoring entirely the practical in life will not get you very far.

next - it;s easy to say "yeah we're serious, we'll always be together", but when you say it and the outcome entails the pain of divorce (financial, emotional pain etc.), well, then the actions of committing to the person speak louder than the words.

Last reason I can think of - if one plans to have kids, one of the most important lessons you can teach them is to be a person of honor and integrity. A commitment like marriage demonstrates this like almost nothing else.

Additionally, it also teaches the greatest of life's lessons: actions have consequences, and the actionsof the parents form the basis for how that child will interact with others throughout life.

Married parents are the best option to raising children who can excel in the world.

Well said.

Marriage is a natural extension of man's social nature. The idea of demonstrating the bond, and thus the removal of the individuals from courtship, between two people before society is the basis of marriage.

Why do people marry? Why did I marry? Tradition. There said it. Nothing wrong with tradition, if it stands the test of time, it must have something going for it, aside from the fact, that I have never heard anyone produce a valid argument for it's abolition. The social/critical theorists who attempt to discredit all traditional values have provided no valid arguments against it, simply historical facts, which do not discredit the ideas. Because men in 300 B.C. clubbed a woman and essentially made her property does not discredit the idea and virtue that we hold currently in marriage.

Unfortunately, the credibility of marriage suffers when the philosophy and understanding of the population changes. Today's culture of immediate gratification and entitlement is placing strains on marriage, for marriage is not a thing that grants happiness, but a value that one holds true, a means to an end: personal happiness. You don't have to understand this to enter marriage, but you have to understand it to make a marriage work and obtain happiness from it.

From almost losing my marriage, due to my ignorance of life, I know that simply existing in this world provides no happiness; happiness is obtained from efforts and works. Marriage is no different. Being married is nothing, valueing your spouse is everything. What you value you cherish and you work for and you give to. Marriage is no different than parenting, in this respect. It is easy to see the effects of not providing for your children, of not showing them love and kindness, or not guiding them in life; marriage is no different.

People enter into marriage because they pay lip service to the idea, they remain married because they actually act on the idea.

 

[velvett]

A lot of solid answers here - not what I had expected but very pleased nonetheless.


I am also please to see such a large group of old fashioned and noble men here to respond.


Bravo to you all.

 

[p60]

Alright, this is getting depressing. You guys are bringing me down.

heheheh....

I can DEFINATELY relate.

man, i want to get married to a really hot girl, right now.

 

[gmanlax7]

if thats your waist velvett you can marry me

 

[velvett]

if thats your waist velvett you can marry me

If I could get over myself, it's not impossible.

 

[Rex]

velvett what kind of answers were you expecting?

 

[velvett]

velvett what kind of answers were you expecting?

I expected the spectrum of answers from unmarried people and I was pleasantly surprised by the vast amount of warmth, devotion and love demonstration towards so many spouses.

It was refreshing and hopeful in contrast to the regular women and men bashing that goes on here and among my peers.

 

[Rex]

I still don't trust the avg woman Don't trust the avg man either.

I was expecting a culture clash when I came to Japan, but surprisingly the women here have been "Americanized", and it sickens me. I've realized how much the typical American girl's attitude sickens me. The only difference mostly besides I can't understand a damn word with the accent, and I try real hard to, is that the Okinawan chicks can not walk for shit in heals. Quite humorous almost.

I'm told it's a different in Europe, but I'll have to see that for myself.

 

[juiceddreadlocks]

I have been with my wife since I was 16 y/o......really my only true gf. I dated other gals and all I could think about is her. I took a year to propose to her from my initial thoughts of getting married. And after that I still knew she was the one. I still get excited to talk to her or see her....I still get a "feeling" when I hug her. She understands me...puts up with me....loves me. I knew if I still had these feelings after high school and college than there was something there that would last a lifetime.

One thing that others may find akward that really pin pointed it for me was this.....In all my decisions since I was 16, I would ask myself what she would think or agree with.....I knew that I really cared for her when she was in every thought of mine...and it is still that way now.

3 cheers for beastboy.... man thats awesome to hear. im not married yet but thats what i want to be able to say here in 15 years (well we werent 16, we were both 19)

 

[Anarchist]

i never ave, and prolly never will get marrid. theres really no reason for it. i dont trust anyone that much.

truthfully, i dont even really care if im ever in a relationship ever again.