Living at home with ma and pa

[Raina]

My parents never charged me for living at their house. The only deal was that I had to follow their rules-- let them know when I'd be home, and not leave the house showing any tummy. I didn't really have an issue with either rule but I'm new impossible to live with and cause my entire family to fight when I'm home (for longer than a visit).

My little sister hates living at home in the summer (she's almost 21 and only lives there when she's not at school). It really is a good deal though....it's dramatically less expensive than living in the real world. I don't think I could ever go back to living with them. I love knowing that I can fend for myself.

 

[FLASHMAN1]

Flash the point is not that they are fucking landlords dude. They are his PARENTS. *P*A*R*E*N*T*S* not landlords. Do you bill your friends $5 for a ride in your car for gas expenses and wear on the vehicle? No... but if you are taking them to Disney World and back you may say "hey buddy think you can help out with the gas and tolls?" and that would be a different story.

Bro, different situation entirely... We're talking the difference between a trip in the car, and a place to live... apples and oranges...

His parents aren't saying "sure we'd be happy to have you but could you please help us out with the food or electricity bill since it will be extra for the time you're here?" they are saying "pay up fucker or no go!"

I don't see where he said that they were saying "pay up or you can't live here", But I think thier intention is to not give him a totally free ride, but to save him a ton of $$$ in the long run. Which at only $150 a month all-inclusive, they are clearly doing.

Also, that $510 on your apartment was NOT for the utilities bubba. When you take away the electric bill, the phone bill, the water, etc... etc.. and you're left with one thing - landlord profit. I highly doubt that it's going to cost his parents $150 to keep him in the house for a month. Chances are he's going to be out and working (since he's saving up for a house), so he won't be at home enjoying the air conditioning or watching the TV.

I know very well that the $510 I paid for an apartment was not for utilities, I said that $510 was rent only, utilities were on top of that. What I was saying was he said that someone quoted him $200 per month for an apartment and I said no way... I was giving him a frame of reference. As far as how much time he spends there, that's irrelevant. He's getting a pace to live, all utilities included for $150 a month. That's a bargian, whatever way you spin it.

Figure 1-2 showers a day, a toilet flush, and labor costs for his mom washing the dishes after dinner and you have nowhere even REMOTELY near $150 a month. His parents will be making a profit off of their own kid.

Odds are, if they're parents like me, they'll be putting that money into an account that they'll either spend on him for his wedding/honeymoon/help dowm payment for a house, or bequeath it to him on thier will, they're probably not using it at all if they're in the position he says they're in...

But... anything in the name of teaching responsibility is fair, isn't it?

No, but I think that they're only doing it to let him understand that shit isn't free forever... You're an adult now, time to start to act like it...

 

[Themachine01]

I truly believe that I am old enough now, after living on my own for the past 4 years, paying for college, graduating college while working the whole time to pay for tuition, that I have already learned responsibility, and that them charging me $150 to live at home, making money off me, is going to teach me so much more and turn me into this much more responsable adult.

Lets think of it this way, If you got laid off from your job MR.FLASH and you couldnt afford to pay your mortgage any more and had to sell your house, and you needed a place to stay while you get your feet back on the ground, you would have no problem with your parents saying, "you and your family can stay with us, but it will cost you $600 a month, which is (just for an example) $200 cheaper than your mortgage. Sure, I know would definately give them money for letting you stay, but would you think it is right for them to set a price and say if you dont like it than find somewhere else to live.

 

[Warik]

Flash,

I know it's a different situation entirely, and the fact that it is puts me on the winning side.

It's roughly a 200 mile trip from where I live to Disney World. 400 miles round trip. Assuming I get 20mpg @ $1.60 per gallon, that's $32 for gas. Tolls on top of that both ways totals up to another $40 or $50. That's $72-$82.

Since he said he will be buying his own food, it would cost more to make the trip to Disney World than it would for his parents to give him a place to stay for a month. How do you like THAT shit? Apples and oranges my butt. =)

To let him understand that shit isn't free forever?

Umm...

He paid for his car.

He paid for his school.

As a matter of fact, to quote him: "My parents are well off and besides the $200-$300 they would spend at Christmas never gave me shit." I don't think he is even considering the possibility that shit is ever free.

Let me guess... when your kid is 20+ and needs a place to stay after college for a short while, you are going to charge him rent to "teach him responsibility and teach him that stuff isn't free forever," right? News flash: If your kid doesn't know that already by 20+ then your parenting skills really suck.

-Warik

 

[Themachine01]

I know very well that the $510 I paid for an apartment was not for utilities, I said that $510 was rent only, utilities were on top of that. What I was saying was he said that someone quoted him $200 per month for an apartment and I said no way... I was giving him a frame of reference. As far as how much time he spends there, that's irrelevant. He's getting a pace to live, all utilities included for $150 a month. That's a bargian, whatever way you spin it.

I never said that a landlord would quote me $200 per month. I stated that you keep saying they are saving me money and I should be thankful. So in other words, if a landlord quoted me $500 per month, I should be thankful to my parents if they undercut him by $50 and said I could lilve with them for $450, and i shouldnt bitch, I should say great fucking deal, I'll take it.



you have the balls to say that its time to start acting like an adult and that shit aint for free forever? are you fucking dumb to the world, do you speak fucking english, how the fuck have I been living for free, what has been free for me? I have paid for everything, college aint cheap FLASHBOY. And what do you consider an adult? working and going to college, paying a car bill, insurance and student loans and paying for all other living expenses is what, childish?

 

[Themachine01]

Thanks for helping me see the light FLASH, I dont know what the fuck I was thinking. I'll be sure to let everyone on the board know when I cross over into manhood, and when I do I will have you to thank.

 

[FLASHMAN1]

I truly believe that I am old enough now, after living on my own for the past 4 years, paying for college, graduating college while working the whole time to pay for tuition, that I have already learned responsibility, and that them charging me $150 to live at home, making money off me, is going to teach me so much more and turn me into this much more responsable adult.

Lets think of it this way, If you got laid off from your job MR.FLASH and you couldnt afford to pay your mortgage any more and had to sell your house, and you needed a place to stay while you get your feet back on the ground, you would have no problem with your parents saying, "you and your family can stay with us, but it will cost you $600 a month, which is (just for an example) $200 cheaper than your mortgage. Sure, I know would definately give them money for letting you stay, but would you think it is right for them to set a price and say if you dont like it than find somewhere else to live.

Well, if they're saying "if you don't like it, then find somewhere else to live", then I will cease to defend them as of right now, because thier reasons for charging you are clearly different from the way I'd treat my son when he gets to that age. My reasons would actually be to in fact help him save money, as all the money that I "charge" him will go into an account that I will not touch to benefit him in a future endeavor, house purchase, honeymoon trip, etc even if it is unbeknownst to him... I would NEVER PROFIT from either of my kids. If that's what they're doing then they suck, but I was looking at it from my point of view, and what I do as a parent. Maybe that was my mistake. If your parents are doing it to put money in THIER pockets, then they suck...
As far as what I'd do if I were put in that position, well... I plan for those things specifically. I keep, in the bank at all times an emergency fund that will pay all my bills for one year, mortgage, cars, utilities, EVERYTHING, that we never touch. If I ever were to be laid off, I made damn sure I wouldn't have to worry about anything except looking for a new job. I guess I took the "be prepared" motto a little too seriously when I was a Boy Scout. My point is, I know what it's like to live poor, and I WILL NOT subject my children to it, but at the same time, they WILL learn a work ethic, and they WILL have responsibilities. I commend you for the things you've accomplished thus far, but maybe your parents are going to put that money aside for you, like a savings account like I'll do for my son and daughter. If they're doing it just to take your money and spend it on themselves, then I stand corrected, and they suck...

 

[Themachine01]

FLASH, my parents will be making a profit of me, they have said this when the discussion first came up. I asked why there would be a set price and they simply stated that it is my way off repaying them for everything they have done for me. It will be tough enough living at home with them and trying to live by their rules, let alone knowing that i am paying them to do so. I love my parents but feel they are wrong here. I am just trying to weigh my options here, is it worth the headaches and paying $150/month, or just get an apartment and pay the extra.

 

[FLASHMAN1]

FLASH, my parents will be making a profit of me, they have said this when the discussion first came up. I asked why there would be a set price and they simply stated that it is my way off repaying them for everything they have done for me. It will be tough enough living at home with them and trying to live by their rules, let alone knowing that i am paying them to do so. I love my parents but feel they are wrong here. I am just trying to weigh my options here, is it worth the headaches and paying $150/month, or just get an apartment and pay the extra.

WHOA?!?!?! That's a totally different ball game... You didn't specify all of these things in the beginning, or I wouldn't have completely disagreed with you in the first place... Read my other posts, I assumed that they were parents like me and they were taking the money to try to help you... In other words, when I say I'll make my son and daughter pay rent, as I said earlier, NONE of that money will ever make it into my pocket, it will go into a special account to help them later on... When you said earlier that they were making a profit off of you, I thought you were assuming that and that they might be putting the money away for you without your knowledge, as I intend to do, that way, my kids "saved" all that money without even knowing they did it... Now that you're elaborating on the whole thing, it's a different story altogether. If they actually think the way you're saying, and they feel that you're "paying them back" for all they've done for you, parents or not, I'd tell them to get bent, and say, "no thanks, don't do me any more favors"... Totally different than the situation I thought it was... I apologize for assuming, but you didn't elaborate enough for me to understand what the whole situation was... If that's true, then they're assholes, and I'd tell them to keep thier room and thier rules, and I'd do it my self...

One last question though... If you paid for the full ride yourself, through loans, part-time job, whatever, and they didn't contribute to your college tuition, dorm or apartment, food, books, or anything else, what is it that they're talking about when they say that this rent is payback for all they've done for you??? If they're talking about before you went to college, then they're SERIOUSLY shitty parents, because they are RESPONSIBLE to provide for you before you're 18, I'm just curious what they might mean by that....

 

[Warik]

FLASH,

Many "parents" feel that giving birth is their only responsibility and that providing food and shelter for a child is considered above and beyond the call of duty and falls under the "all I've done for you" category. Good parents will do more. Great parents will do much more and feel they haven't done enough.

machine,

Your parents are fucking you in this case. In a sense, you are learning an adult lesson here that I've tried to live by. Namely: "better to get screwed in the pocket than screwed in the ass." In other words, it's better to inconvenience yourself one way than let someone take advantage of you in another. Get a few apartment prices and determine how long you would be planning to stay at your parents' place. Take X months times apartment rent minus x months times $150.

Look at the difference. Let's use pretend numbers.

Plan: 6 months.
Parents: $150
Apartment: $750

6 x 750 - 6 x 150 = $3,600

Decide for yourself which is more important.

-Warik