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Hyanisport MA A.P.
In a joint written statement from the family of Ted Kennedy and surgeons operating on the whale like senator stated that they did in fact find a brain in kennedy's head. "The brain was surrounded by pounds of fat, hardened liquor and actual congealed stupidity." One doctor was quoted as saying "I have never seen such a fat head before". The brain itself only the size of a thimble was found and the attached tumor was removed. Doctors theorize the tumor had been doing much of the cognitive thinking for the senator. Doctors said they are hopeful yet guarded that the senator will only be 50% of the douchebag he was before. One doctor assured reporters that there would still be "plenty of douchebaggery to go around, after all it is a scalpel not a magic wand". Kennedy was resting comfortably, drooling on himself much like his lobotomized sister, with an iv bag of scotch and several movie dvd's with scenes of pregnant secretaries drowning in them.
reporting: Ima Putz associated press.
In a joint written statement from the family of Ted Kennedy and surgeons operating on the whale like senator stated that they did in fact find a brain in kennedy's head. "The brain was surrounded by pounds of fat, hardened liquor and actual congealed stupidity." One doctor was quoted as saying "I have never seen such a fat head before". The brain itself only the size of a thimble was found and the attached tumor was removed. Doctors theorize the tumor had been doing much of the cognitive thinking for the senator. Doctors said they are hopeful yet guarded that the senator will only be 50% of the douchebag he was before. One doctor assured reporters that there would still be "plenty of douchebaggery to go around, after all it is a scalpel not a magic wand". Kennedy was resting comfortably, drooling on himself much like his lobotomized sister, with an iv bag of scotch and several movie dvd's with scenes of pregnant secretaries drowning in them.
reporting: Ima Putz associated press.
We just kidding. You seem sad today.
