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Cal_21
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As you may know our beloved jon69 went under the knife this morning. He informed me that he was going to the dollarstore surgeon. He was worried that he'd "get got like Kanye's momma" So he had his EF will drawn up. Check it out, see if you're on there.
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a377/sabbattehelp/ctjonjon_281x211.jpg
[Name of Testator]
I, ___________Jon69____________________________ [Name of Testator], a resident of ______________Mo’ville_____, Colorado, being of sound and disposing mind and memory and over the age of eighteen (18) years or lawfully married or having been lawfully married or a member of the armed forces of the United States or a member of an auxiliary of the armed forces of the United States or a member of the maritime service of the United States, and not being actuated by any duress, menace, fraud, mistake, or undue influence, do make, publish, and declare this to be my last Will, hereby expressly revoking all Wills and Codicils previously made by me.
I. MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN
I am married to ______________Cal’s fist_________________________, and all references in this Will to my _________Husband________ [husband or wife] are references to _______Him__________ [him or her]. I have the following children:
Name: ______________Digger______________________ Date of Birth: _________4-20-1950_________
Name: _____________AAP_______________________ Date of Birth: ____________4-20-1979______
Name: ________Stilleto____________________________ Date of Birth: ________4-20-1979__________
Name: _________Need2chef___________________________ Date of Birth: __________4-20-2001________
II. EXECUTOR: I appoint _____________Cal21_______________________ as Executor of this my Last Will and Testament and provide if this Executor is unable or unwilling to serve then I appoint _________________CrazyJoe___________________ as alternate Executor. My Executor shall be authorized to carry out all provisions of this Will and pay my just debts, obligations and funeral expenses.
III. SIMULTANEOUS DEATH OF SPOUSE: In the event that my ____Hubby_____________ [wife or husband] shall die simultaneously with me or there is no direct evidence to establish that my ____Huz-BANNED_____________ [wife or husband] and I died other than simultaneously, I direct that I shall be deemed to have survived my _______________man-meat-lover__ [wife or husband], notwithstanding any provision of law to the contrary, and that the provisions of my Will shall be construed on such presumption.
IV. SIMULTANEOUS DEATH OF BENEFICIARY: If any beneficiary of this Will, including any beneficiary of any trust established by this Will, other than my _______Husbind__________ [wife or husband], shall die within 30 days of my death or prior to the distribution of my estate, I hereby declare that I shall be deemed to have survived such person.
V. BEQUESTS:
I will, give, and bequeath unto the persons named below, if he or she survives me, the Property described below:
Name: __________Digger___________________________
Address: ____________2525__Elite Rd. #1_____________________
Relationship: ________________________Son________
Property: ______________________________________cal’s user account after he gets band for making such a stooped thread_____________________________
_____Sorry Digs ______________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Name: ______Stilleto_______________________________
Address: _________25225 Elite Rd.__________________________
Relationship: __________________Daughter______________
Property: ___________________________________My collection of Betsy Wetsy dolls_______________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Name: ______________________ AAP
Address: _______2525 Elite Rd.____________________________
Relationship: ____________All of the above____________________
Property: ____________________Bourbon St. Beefscicles Magazine Lmtd. Edition_______________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Name: ___________________Cal21__________________
Address: ______________________California_____________
Relationship: ____________The top to my bottom____________
Property: ___________________________All of my karmaz________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
If a named beneficiary to this Will predeceases me, the bequest to such person shall lapse, and the property shall pass under the other provisions of this Will. If I do not possess or own any property listed above on the date of my death, the bequest of that property shall lapse.
VI. ALL REMAINING PROPERTY; RESIDUARY CLAUSE: I give, devise, and bequeath all of the rest, residue, and remainder of my estate, of whatever kind and character, and wherever located, to my _____MANG____________ [wife or husband], provided that my _________MANG________ [wife or husband] survives me. I make no provision for my children, knowing that, as their parent, my _______Lover__________ [wife or husband] will continue to be mindful of their needs and requirements. If my _______male escort__________ [wife or husband] does not survive me, then I give, devise, and bequeath all of the rest, residue, and remainder of my estate, of whatever kind and character, and wherever located, to my children per share, but if any child predeceases me, then his or her share will pass, per share, to his or her lineal descendants, natural or adopted, if any, who survive me; but if there are none, then his or her share will lapse and pass equally as part of the shares of my other named children; but if none of my named children survives me or leaves a lineal descendant who survives me, then according to the order of intestate succession in the State of Colorado.
VII. ADDITIONAL POWERS OF THE EXECUTOR: My Executor shall have the following additional powers with respect to my estate, to be exercised from time to time at my Executor's discretion without further license or order of any court.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
VIII. WAIVER OF BOND, INVENTORY, ACCOUNTING, REPORTING AND APPROVAL: My Executor and alternate Executor shall serve without any bond, and I hereby waive the necessity of preparing or filing any inventory, accounting, appraisal, reporting, approvals or final appraisement of my estate. I direct that no expert appraisal be made of my estate unless required by law.
IX. OPTIONAL PROVISIONS: I have placed my initials next to the provisions below that I adopt as part of this Will. Any unmarked provision is not adopted by me and is not a part of this Will.
________ If any beneficiary to this Will is indebted to me at the time of my death, and the beneficiary evidences this debt by a valid Promissory Note payable to me, then such person's portion of my estate shall be diminished by the amount of such debt.
________ Any and all debts of my estate shall first be paid from my residuary estate. Any debts on any real property bequeathed in this Will shall be assumed by the person to receive such real property and not paid by my Executor.
________ I direct that my remains be cremated and that the ashes be disposed of according to the wishes of my Executor.
________ I direct that my remains be cremated and that the ashes be disposed of in the following manner:
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
________ I desire to be buried in the _____________________________ cemetery in __________________ County, Colorado.
X. CONSTRUCTION: The term "testator" as used in this Will is deemed to include me as Testator or Testatrix. The pronouns used in this Will shall include, where appropriate, either gender or both, singular and plural.
XI. SEVERABILITY AND SURVIVAL: If any part of this Will is declared invalid, illegal, or inoperative for any reason, it is my intent that the remaining parts shall be effective and fully operative, and that any Court so interpreting this Will and any provision in it construe in favor of survival.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I, ______elitefitness.cum_________________________________ [Name of Testator], hereby set my hand to this last Will, on each page of which I have placed my initials, on this __12th______ day of March____________________, 20_____08_ at _____________elite________________________________________________, State of Colorado.
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a377/sabbattehelp/ctjonjon_281x211.jpg
LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF
________________________Jon69_______________[Name of Testator]
I, ___________Jon69____________________________ [Name of Testator], a resident of ______________Mo’ville_____, Colorado, being of sound and disposing mind and memory and over the age of eighteen (18) years or lawfully married or having been lawfully married or a member of the armed forces of the United States or a member of an auxiliary of the armed forces of the United States or a member of the maritime service of the United States, and not being actuated by any duress, menace, fraud, mistake, or undue influence, do make, publish, and declare this to be my last Will, hereby expressly revoking all Wills and Codicils previously made by me.
I. MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN
I am married to ______________Cal’s fist_________________________, and all references in this Will to my _________Husband________ [husband or wife] are references to _______Him__________ [him or her]. I have the following children:
Name: ______________Digger______________________ Date of Birth: _________4-20-1950_________
Name: _____________AAP_______________________ Date of Birth: ____________4-20-1979______
Name: ________Stilleto____________________________ Date of Birth: ________4-20-1979__________
Name: _________Need2chef___________________________ Date of Birth: __________4-20-2001________
II. EXECUTOR: I appoint _____________Cal21_______________________ as Executor of this my Last Will and Testament and provide if this Executor is unable or unwilling to serve then I appoint _________________CrazyJoe___________________ as alternate Executor. My Executor shall be authorized to carry out all provisions of this Will and pay my just debts, obligations and funeral expenses.
III. SIMULTANEOUS DEATH OF SPOUSE: In the event that my ____Hubby_____________ [wife or husband] shall die simultaneously with me or there is no direct evidence to establish that my ____Huz-BANNED_____________ [wife or husband] and I died other than simultaneously, I direct that I shall be deemed to have survived my _______________man-meat-lover__ [wife or husband], notwithstanding any provision of law to the contrary, and that the provisions of my Will shall be construed on such presumption.
IV. SIMULTANEOUS DEATH OF BENEFICIARY: If any beneficiary of this Will, including any beneficiary of any trust established by this Will, other than my _______Husbind__________ [wife or husband], shall die within 30 days of my death or prior to the distribution of my estate, I hereby declare that I shall be deemed to have survived such person.
V. BEQUESTS:
I will, give, and bequeath unto the persons named below, if he or she survives me, the Property described below:
Name: __________Digger___________________________
Address: ____________2525__Elite Rd. #1_____________________
Relationship: ________________________Son________
Property: ______________________________________cal’s user account after he gets band for making such a stooped thread_____________________________
_____Sorry Digs ______________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Name: ______Stilleto_______________________________
Address: _________25225 Elite Rd.__________________________
Relationship: __________________Daughter______________
Property: ___________________________________My collection of Betsy Wetsy dolls_______________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Name: ______________________ AAP
Address: _______2525 Elite Rd.____________________________
Relationship: ____________All of the above____________________
Property: ____________________Bourbon St. Beefscicles Magazine Lmtd. Edition_______________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Name: ___________________Cal21__________________
Address: ______________________California_____________
Relationship: ____________The top to my bottom____________
Property: ___________________________All of my karmaz________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
If a named beneficiary to this Will predeceases me, the bequest to such person shall lapse, and the property shall pass under the other provisions of this Will. If I do not possess or own any property listed above on the date of my death, the bequest of that property shall lapse.
VI. ALL REMAINING PROPERTY; RESIDUARY CLAUSE: I give, devise, and bequeath all of the rest, residue, and remainder of my estate, of whatever kind and character, and wherever located, to my _____MANG____________ [wife or husband], provided that my _________MANG________ [wife or husband] survives me. I make no provision for my children, knowing that, as their parent, my _______Lover__________ [wife or husband] will continue to be mindful of their needs and requirements. If my _______male escort__________ [wife or husband] does not survive me, then I give, devise, and bequeath all of the rest, residue, and remainder of my estate, of whatever kind and character, and wherever located, to my children per share, but if any child predeceases me, then his or her share will pass, per share, to his or her lineal descendants, natural or adopted, if any, who survive me; but if there are none, then his or her share will lapse and pass equally as part of the shares of my other named children; but if none of my named children survives me or leaves a lineal descendant who survives me, then according to the order of intestate succession in the State of Colorado.
VII. ADDITIONAL POWERS OF THE EXECUTOR: My Executor shall have the following additional powers with respect to my estate, to be exercised from time to time at my Executor's discretion without further license or order of any court.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
VIII. WAIVER OF BOND, INVENTORY, ACCOUNTING, REPORTING AND APPROVAL: My Executor and alternate Executor shall serve without any bond, and I hereby waive the necessity of preparing or filing any inventory, accounting, appraisal, reporting, approvals or final appraisement of my estate. I direct that no expert appraisal be made of my estate unless required by law.
IX. OPTIONAL PROVISIONS: I have placed my initials next to the provisions below that I adopt as part of this Will. Any unmarked provision is not adopted by me and is not a part of this Will.
________ If any beneficiary to this Will is indebted to me at the time of my death, and the beneficiary evidences this debt by a valid Promissory Note payable to me, then such person's portion of my estate shall be diminished by the amount of such debt.
________ Any and all debts of my estate shall first be paid from my residuary estate. Any debts on any real property bequeathed in this Will shall be assumed by the person to receive such real property and not paid by my Executor.
________ I direct that my remains be cremated and that the ashes be disposed of according to the wishes of my Executor.
________ I direct that my remains be cremated and that the ashes be disposed of in the following manner:
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
________ I desire to be buried in the _____________________________ cemetery in __________________ County, Colorado.
X. CONSTRUCTION: The term "testator" as used in this Will is deemed to include me as Testator or Testatrix. The pronouns used in this Will shall include, where appropriate, either gender or both, singular and plural.
XI. SEVERABILITY AND SURVIVAL: If any part of this Will is declared invalid, illegal, or inoperative for any reason, it is my intent that the remaining parts shall be effective and fully operative, and that any Court so interpreting this Will and any provision in it construe in favor of survival.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I, ______elitefitness.cum_________________________________ [Name of Testator], hereby set my hand to this last Will, on each page of which I have placed my initials, on this __12th______ day of March____________________, 20_____08_ at _____________elite________________________________________________, State of Colorado.
