Joke

[anthrax]

A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God:

Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC, and those assholes deducted $95.00 in taxes.

 

[needtogetaas]

funny.

 

[DieselGunz]

Typical politics


lol

 

[Sub-Zero]

one christmas a kid wanted a bike, and he asked his dad for one.

his dad aske dhim if he could touchhis weiner to his butthole,
the kid replied that he could not
the dad said that he wouldnt get a bike if he couldnt do that.


so next christmas the kid asks for a bike.
the dad asks him if he can touch his weiner to his butthole,
the child replied that he still couldnt, so the dad wouldnt buy him a bike.

the next christmas, the kid excitedly runs over to his dad, and says
daddy daddy, i did it, i can touch my weiner to my butthole, can i get a bike now.

to which the dad replied "good, now go fuck yourself, your not getting a bike"

 

[silverfish]

That's some funny shit, right there.

 

[ziggyziggy]

one christmas a kid wanted a bike, and he asked his dad for one.

his dad aske dhim if he could touchhis weiner to his butthole,
the kid replied that he could not
the dad said that he wouldnt get a bike if he couldnt do that.


so next christmas the kid asks for a bike.
the dad asks him if he can touch his weiner to his butthole,
the child replied that he still couldnt, so the dad wouldnt buy him a bike.

the next christmas, the kid excitedly runs over to his dad, and says
daddy daddy, i did it, i can touch my weiner to my butthole, can i get a bike now.

to which the dad replied "good, now go fuck yourself, your not getting a bike"

Classic

Zig

 

[PICK3]

So this guy marches upstairs to his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.

His wife is lying in bed and he says, "see that's the pig I've been fucking".

His wife responds, "honey, that's a sheep ... not a pig".

He says, "who's talking to you"?

 

[c00per]

Three old black ladies were preparing for their first plane flight.
The first lady said, "I don't know bout y'all, but I'm gonna wear me some hot pink panties on dis flight."
"Why you gonna wear dat?" the other two asked.
The first replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dere laying butt-up in a corn field, dey gonna find me first."
The second lady says, "Well, I'm gonna wear me some bright fluorescent orange panties."
"Why you gonna wear dat?" the others asked.
The second lady answered: "Cause if dat plane goes down and I'm floating butt-up in the ocean, dey can see me first"
The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not going to wear any panties at all."
"What, no panties?!" the others said in disbelief.
"Dat's right," says the third lady "I'm not wearing any panties,cause if dat plane goes down, the first thing they always look for is da black box."

 

[lilred]

lol, good jokes!

 

[Lestat]

great jokes!!!!

 

[lickin lollypops]

Funny.....come on guys I know you have more than those.......keep 'em comin

 

[Lestat]

finally a joke thread that is funny!

started off ok and got way better!

 

[anthrax]

==Blonde joke==

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute..."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

 

[monstermmf]

hahahaha hilarious. agreed.. finally a joke thread thats funny

 

[HiDnGoD]

one christmas a kid wanted a bike, and he asked his dad for one.

his dad aske dhim if he could touchhis weiner to his butthole,
the kid replied that he could not
the dad said that he wouldnt get a bike if he couldnt do that.
"

Well I wouldn't be gettin a bike, that's fer sure.

 

[blut wump]

A man is flying on TWA. After they are in the air he asks for some coffee. The stewardess whips her knickers off and grinds her muff into his face.

"WTF?!?", he says
She says, "We're out of coffee but I thought you'd like some TWA tea".

 

[bigmann245]

i have one

a ship at sea notices another ship approaching. it is an enemy ship
the capt says, get the men ready and bring me my red shirt
so the enemy approaches and they battle and they win
a few days go by and they notice 3 enemy ships over the horizon
the captain says again, get the men ready and bring me my red shirt
they battle the enemy ships and win again.
a few more days pass and they notice a whole fleet of enemy ships
they go to the capt and he says "get the men ready and bring me my brown pants"
they stop and say "the last 2 times you asked for your red shirt, why the brown pants?"
well he said, the red shirt was so that if i were to be injured and bleed the men wont be scared and they will keep fighting because they wont see the blood on my red shirt.


it might take you a little bit to get that but its pretty funny when you do.. take care everyone.

 

[sigweed]

ungreatful bastard!

 

[blut wump]

What weighs two tons and has bells around its feet?




A hippypotamus