ITT, we post hilarious quotes from The Office

[MichaelScott]

''Dude, where's my office? I totally lost it. Cause I was half-baked. Smoking doobies! Doobie Brothers. I was smoking doobies with my brothers. Peace out Seacrest!''
--'Drug Testing' episode-- Michael Scott

 

[beefcake28]

Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam Beesley: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.

 

[goin on 4T]

Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam Beesley: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.

Yeah that one was truely classic!

 

[beefcake28]

Michael Scott: Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.

 

[goin on 4T]

^^ Yeah that was great too! Hey I am divorced! Dammit

 

[beefcake28]

^^ Yeah that was great too! Hey I am divorced! Dammit

Yeah, so am I. It is still funny...

 

[beefcake28]

Jim Halpert: Just have Dwight punch you.
Michael Scott: Oh, yeah!
[scoffs]
Michael Scott: Well, that would be kinda worthless because I know a ton of 14-year-old girls who can kick his ass.
Jim Halpert: You know a ton of 14-year-old girls?
Dwight Schrute: What belt are they?

 

[75th]

Andy Bernard doesnt lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them, because they are unfair.

 

[75th]

What do you know about conflict resolution? Your answer to everything is to get divorced.






I seriously know every episode by heart.

 

[75th]

Hey I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday: You, me bar, beers, buzzed.....wings, shots, drunk! Waitresses, hot! Football, Cornell, Hofstra, slaughter! Then a quick nap at my place and we hit the tizown!