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It's official

miplank said:
that would be resentment x2
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hmmmm actually no. I dont resent my first husband. I just can't tolerate him and he is annoying as fuck but I don't carry resentment from my time with him. He's just a dumbass. I was not traumatized by being with him. I was just stupid LOL
 
Are you mad?
 
smurf2 said:
hmmmm actually no. I dont resent my first husband. I just can't tolerate him and he is annoying as fuck but I don't carry resentment from my time with him. He's just a dumbass. I was not traumatized by being with him. I was just stupid LOL
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oh, yeah...he called wanted me to ask you if he could score a ride to the store.
 
some people just process things differently and faster, took a friend over a year to get over a 2yr relationship, took me a solid week to get over a 4yr one, it all depends on how long before the "official" breakup you start to detach(I wanted out for a looong time), it also depends on who gets dumped first, usually the one who makes the cut gets over it a bit better.
 
nangiggles said:
some people just process things differently and faster, took a friend over a year to get over a 2yr relationship, took me a solid week to get over a 4yr one, it all depends on how long before the "official" breakup you start to detach(I wanted out for a looong time), it also depends on who gets dumped first, usually the one who makes the cut gets over it a bit better.
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how long to get over your hubby when he comes clean :rainbow:
 
nangiggles said:
some people just process things differently and faster, took a friend over a year to get over a 2yr relationship, took me a solid week to get over a 4yr one, it all depends on how long before the "official" breakup you start to detach(I wanted out for a looong time), it also depends on who gets dumped first, usually the one who makes the cut gets over it a bit better.
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agreed. also depends on the circumstances of the break up I believe. Several factors go into it. Sometimes a person gets to the point where they want out and are ready to get it done and they make the decision and don't look back and they're over it immediately.
 
the_alcatraz said:
I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. In a nutshell, my wife asked for separation. I was devastated. I asked her to re-think about it and asked her to give me her word that we will separate for a while but work on ourselves to come back and be together....she said she can't promise me anything. I was very depressed for a few weeks. Almost lost my job, stopped going to work, didn't care about getting out of bed. I found a condo, moved into my own place, bought furniture and did it all in under a week...it was hectic and hard to do by myself...I have no family in Canada....and all my friends were her friends before so everyone just ditched my ass because they blamed me...so here I was, no family, no friends....etc...

After 2 weeks of misery, I start thinking about this with a clear head and decide that even though I love her and want things to work out, we have nothing in common, we don't get along and we're always fighting...we just don't mesh...I called her one month before we were supposed to get together to make a decision and told her it was over. She was devastated...cried for hours, begged me to take her back....I couldnt do it. I said this is best for both of us....I said it breaks my heart but I cant be in a relationship with someone who is not happy with me...we havent had been intimate for a few months and everyone knows what that does to a man. She said she bluffed and didnt really want a divorce...she just wanted me to change. I said this is my life and you can't bluff something like that. I told her I loved her and wished her luck.

We started the divorce and haven't talked since.

I miss her a great deal and love her more than words can say. I'm heartbroken and not ashamed to say I feel like I made a mistake by not taking her back. The mature part of me says that I did what's best for both of us.

On the bright side, my new girlfriend is a beautiful Irish, German, Lebanese woman - 31 yrs old...4 years older than me. She owns a sports bar and she loves me to death. She's already moved in with me. She does my laundry, cooks for me, cleans my condo, does my grocery shopping and I don't even ask her to do it.....and it also helps that we have sex 2-3 times a day...and our sex life is amazing. We have so much in common. I spent Christmas with her family at their house and spent Thanksgiving at their cottage...good times.

I still miss my ex-wife and wonder what she is doing everyday. I cannot help but feel very guilty about how this went down.
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WOW!!!!!!

I predict you will be back with the ex wife one day soon!
Rebounds never work, especially when you are still thinking about your ex.
Sounds like it was a battle of the egos. People grow, we change, you two are still young and didn't give it a fighting chance.

In any case, take it day by day
 
nangiggles said:
How long were you completely single Traz? sounds like you found someone new to take care of you, first you gotta take care of yourself bro, otherwise you're just hiding from things.
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Yep, but most people have a hard time being alone,so they find someone right away and are just as unhappy months later.
 
ceo said:
That's just it. Traz's thread here is such a non SWV thread, it should be the model of how to do it.

He's divorced and moved on, got a girl cooking for him, cleaning for him, doing his laundry and grocery shopping and giving him great sex 2-3 times a day!

That's how it's done, sir!
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Secure people tend to disagree!
 
I agree with QT and CW on this one!

After my 11 yrs break up and the last ex, I had to go to therapy both times. My therapist said "death is easier than divorce because you can closure quickly. With a divorce, the person is still around and you often wonder what they are doing and who they are with"


I know I will get slack of this, but men have a hard time being alone. They need to be taken care of. My Dad's friend was married to the love of his life for 45 yrs, she passed and he had a new women in his house washing his clothes in less than 3 months. He's still with her
This is all about not being able to process pain and the feelings of loss are SO hard and uncomfortable, so it's just easier to meet someone else and live in denial and keep so busy, you don't have time to hurt.

Traz, it's great you're feeling some happiness with this new girl, but you still love your wife, period!
 
He totally loves his wife...always will...it's just about moving on and getting past the stages going through a divorce..
 
blueta2 said:
I agree with QT and CW on this one!

After my 11 yrs break up and the last ex, I had to go to therapy both times. My therapist said "death is easier than divorce because you can closure quickly. With a divorce, the person is still around and you often wonder what they are doing and who they are with"


I know I will get slack of this, but men have a hard time being alone. They need to be taken care of. My Dad's friend was married to the love of his life for 45 yrs, she passed and he had a new women in his house washing his clothes in less than 3 months. He's still with her
This is all about not being able to process pain and the feelings of loss are SO hard and uncomfortable, so it's just easier to meet someone else and live in denial and keep so busy, you don't have time to hurt.

Traz, it's great you're feeling some happiness with this new girl, but you still love your wife, period!
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not everyone is the same, honey. :)
 
blueta2 said:
Yep, but most people have a hard time being alone,so they find someone right away and are just as unhappy months later.
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Yep my buddy had two LT back to back when he split from the wife. When the last GF and him broke up I had to sit him down and be like slow down take some me time. He finally did he was single a whole 4 months before getting into his current relationship. LOL that was progress prior to that he'd never been single for more than a month.
 
superqt4u2nv said:
Yep my buddy had two LT back to back when he split from the wife. When the last GF and him broke up I had to sit him down and be like slow down take some me time. He finally did he was single a whole 4 months before getting into his current relationship. LOL that was progress prior to that he'd never been single for more than a month.
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Clearly where he messed up was, he should have just gone out and banged a bunch of different randoms instead of getting into the two LTRs. What a bunch of wasted time!
 
ceo said:
Clearly where he messed up was, he should have just gone out and banged a bunch of different randoms instead of getting into the two LTRs. What a bunch of wasted time!
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Yeah that was my advice he actually did over his 4 months off not a crazy amount like you could count it on one had but still that was progress.

I actually really like his new girlfriend she's the first one he's had that actually seems to give a shit about him. His passed relationships it was all about there needs chicks didn't seem to give a crap about him.
 
the_alcatraz said:
married 4 years...not sure what you mean by quick?
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I thought you was all in fucking love and shit bro? Guess I'm always right huh? Well at least now maybe you can do your got damn Mod job accordingly. :)
 
blueta2 said:
WOW!!!!!!

I predict you will be back with the ex wife one day soon!
Rebounds never work, especially when you are still thinking about your ex.
Sounds like it was a battle of the egos. People grow, we change, you two are still young and didn't give it a fighting chance.

In any case, take it day by day
Click to expand...

back with someone I just divorced?? umm....no.
 
blueta2 said:
I agree with QT and CW on this one!

After my 11 yrs break up and the last ex, I had to go to therapy both times. My therapist said "death is easier than divorce because you can closure quickly. With a divorce, the person is still around and you often wonder what they are doing and who they are with"


I know I will get slack of this, but men have a hard time being alone. They need to be taken care of. My Dad's friend was married to the love of his life for 45 yrs, she passed and he had a new women in his house washing his clothes in less than 3 months. He's still with her
This is all about not being able to process pain and the feelings of loss are SO hard and uncomfortable, so it's just easier to meet someone else and live in denial and keep so busy, you don't have time to hurt.

Traz, it's great you're feeling some happiness with this new girl, but you still love your wife, period!
Click to expand...

I think you misread into this...I still love my wife, yes...but I'm not still "in love" with my wife....that died over time. Offcourse I love her....we were married for a long time....I'll always love her....I still care a lot about most of my past relationships, doesn't mean I'd marry them / re-marry them, etc....
 
smurf2 said:
Why the need to get past things? Just carry the resentment forever. That's what I'm doing. It works for me. very cathartic to hate someone.
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I have no resentment or hate towards my ex wife is I really think about it....it's better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all type of thing.
 
alcatraz, honest question not being a american pig...but was this marriage arranged?
and if so, does your experience change your opinion on arranged marriages?
sorry if that is a ignorant question bro
 
binö said:
alcatraz, honest question not being a american pig...but was this marriage arranged?
and if so, does your experience change your opinion on arranged marriages?
sorry if that is a ignorant question bro
Click to expand...

def. not arranged...I am completely against marring for anything but love...

I tell you what changed as I became more an d more Canadian...I now will go againt my culture and live with a woman before I marry her...I will def. sleep with her to see what kind of sexual chemistry we have, etc....no more virgins, no more surprises, etc....I need a mature, experienced woman...that's how I roll moving forward orb
 
the_alcatraz said:
def. not arranged...I am completely against marring for anything but love...

I tell you what changed as I became more an d more Canadian...I now will go againt my culture and live with a woman before I marry her...I will def. sleep with her to see what kind of sexual chemistry we have, etc....no more virgins, no more surprises, etc....I need a mature, experienced woman...that's how I roll moving forward orb
Click to expand...

One of my best friends is from Jordan. He's been here for years and is definitely a mixture of Islamic and American culture as well.

I watch him wrestle almost weekly between an arranged marriage and an American girl. There's definitely pluses and minuses in both situations. He's going to his brother's wedding in Jordan sometime this spring and I'll probably go over with him. I'll have to be super-subtle, but the plan is for me to sneak him my thumbs-up/thumbs-down vote when his mother introduces him to potential dates!
 
mrplunkey said:
One of my best friends is from Jordan. He's been here for years and is definitely a mixture of Islamic and American culture as well.

I watch him wrestle almost weekly between an arranged marriage and an American girl. There's definitely pluses and minuses in both situations. He's going to his brother's wedding in Jordan sometime this spring and I'll probably go over with him. I'll have to be super-subtle, but the plan is for me to sneak him my thumbs-up/thumbs-down vote when his mother introduces him to potential dates!
Click to expand...

I don't know about Islamic arranged marriage but I had some Hindi friends when I was younger. It was social acceptable for them to get divorced if the marriage was arranged and didn't work how ever if they married for romantic love no getting out of it.
 
guys, no one in Lebanon gets arranged marriages anymore...very few muslims still do this, at least not arabs...I don't think there are ANY pros to arranged marriages...NONE
 
binö said:
really a roll of the dice, you could score big and get a great piece of subservent ass.
or strike out and get a prude angry cvnt...i guess polygamy would help a bro out in that case
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subservient sucks ass...I want an intelligent woman with her opinions and views on things so we can make decisions together and build a future based on mutual interests and needs/wants...I'm not marrying a robot/dog...I'm getting a partner for life.
 
the_alcatraz said:
subservient sucks ass...I want an intelligent woman with her opinions and views on things so we can make decisions together and build a future based on mutual interests and needs/wants...I'm not marrying a robot/dog...I'm getting a partner for life.
Click to expand...

i agree fully...but not every bro does.
my gf's ex hubby and her sis's current hubby both want/wanted subservient drones to stay home and clean/raise kids/cook/be mindless and opinionless.
 
binö said:
i agree fully...but not every bro does.
my gf's ex hubby and her sis's current hubby both want/wanted subservient drones to stay home and clean/raise kids/cook/be mindless and opinionless.
Click to expand...

That's the dumbest thing ever...if I wanted that, I'll just go ro persianwifefinder and get me a lemming.
 
the_alcatraz said:
guys, no one in Lebanon gets arranged marriages anymore...very few muslims still do this, at least not arabs...I don't think there are ANY pros to arranged marriages...NONE
Click to expand...

Are you referring to blindly arranged marriages only?

Because it seems like at least some Jordanian men meet their wives through their families. For example this spring, my friend will be introduced to a series of women but neither side is obligated to marry (or even date). But if they are interested in each other, it's not like they'll date like Americans and possibly even live together before being married. It's more like a family event where they do social things together and then decide to marry.

Is that accurate?
 
I just ended a relationship with a Muslim man and arranged marriages were still happening in the local Pakistani community. They would fly back over to Pakistan and come back to Canada.
 
the_alcatraz said:
subservient sucks ass...I want an intelligent woman
Click to expand...

And pick3's grandma wants to fly jets.

the_alcatraz said:
with her opinions and views on things
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Oh, they most certainly have their own opinions and views on things...

the_alcatraz said:
so we can make decisions together and build a future based on mutual interests and needs/wants...
Click to expand...

Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!

the_alcatraz said:
I'm not marrying a robot/dog...I'm getting a partner for life.
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Yeah, a robot or dog would be excited to see you bang other girls. You're most definitely knot getting that!
 
caligirl85 said:
I just ended a relationship with a Muslim man and arranged marriages were still happening in the local Pakistani community. They would fly back over to Pakistan and come back to Canada.
Click to expand...

you went out with a paki??
 
mrplunkey said:
Are you referring to blindly arranged marriages only?

Because it seems like at least some Jordanian men meet their wives through their families. For example this spring, my friend will be introduced to a series of women but neither side is obligated to marry (or even date). But if they are interested in each other, it's not like they'll date like Americans and possibly even live together before being married. It's more like a family event where they do social things together and then decide to marry.

Is that accurate?
Click to expand...

Well, that dapends. Jordan is still fairly "behind" in the arab community. Nothing like that happens in Lebanon, unless you live somewhere in the jungle and your daughter is traded for a few goats...I kid, I kid.
 
caligirl85 said:
I just ended a relationship with a Muslim man and arranged marriages were still happening in the local Pakistani community. They would fly back over to Pakistan and come back to Canada.
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umm...Pakistan is like the Walmart of the muslim community....I'm more of a Holt Renfrew...

Seriously though, I'm not Paki...lol. Please remember that, it's really important. I'm Lebanese and I'm good looking damnit.
 
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mrplunkey said:
And pick3's grandma wants to fly jets.



Oh, they most certainly have their own opinions and views on things...



Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Danger!



Yeah, a robot or dog would be excited to see you bang other girls. You're most definitely knot getting that!
Click to expand...

One can dream...

Hey you! Sittin out there by the phone, can you touch me?
 
the_alcatraz said:
umm...Pakistan is like the Walmart of the muslim community....I'm more of a Holt Renfrew...

Seriously though, I'm not Paki...lol. Please remember that, it's really important. I'm Lebanese and I'm good looking damnit.
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lol

I had no idea. Honestly. I'm new to all of it but definitely understand the Walmart/ Holt Renfrew comparison!! :)
 
when you make a baby the sayin' is two hearts beat as one
but it's the mind that seals the deal
 
I just love how in every thread, I have to scroll through 20 posts of Spart's dribble before I get to a real post.... *sarcastic happy dance
 
the_alcatraz said:
I just love how in every thread, I have to scroll through 20 posts of Spart's dribble before I get to a real post.... *sarcastic happy dance
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every 5th or 6th spart post their is a nugget of wisdom or humor, you just have to wade thru a few nonsensical posts
 
With third down, six to go flash his strobe lights
I'm open RZA hit me off lovely and I love him
With root beer thoughts, here's a tennis court for your birthday
the babyface of rap politic with Sade
 
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