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It's official

the_alcatraz

the_alcatraz

Head Mod
Elite Moderator
As of yesterday, I'm now officially divorced...
 
well damn bro, i hope everything works out for the best...you didn't sound to convicted about this like some do about getting a divorce.
i always assumed you were happily married...is a divorce a major stigma for muslims? cause i know it is in my roman catholic family
 
I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. In a nutshell, my wife asked for separation. I was devastated. I asked her to re-think about it and asked her to give me her word that we will separate for a while but work on ourselves to come back and be together....she said she can't promise me anything. I was very depressed for a few weeks. Almost lost my job, stopped going to work, didn't care about getting out of bed. I found a condo, moved into my own place, bought furniture and did it all in under a week...it was hectic and hard to do by myself...I have no family in Canada....and all my friends were her friends before so everyone just ditched my ass because they blamed me...so here I was, no family, no friends....etc...

After 2 weeks of misery, I start thinking about this with a clear head and decide that even though I love her and want things to work out, we have nothing in common, we don't get along and we're always fighting...we just don't mesh...I called her one month before we were supposed to get together to make a decision and told her it was over. She was devastated...cried for hours, begged me to take her back....I couldnt do it. I said this is best for both of us....I said it breaks my heart but I cant be in a relationship with someone who is not happy with me...we havent had been intimate for a few months and everyone knows what that does to a man. She said she bluffed and didnt really want a divorce...she just wanted me to change. I said this is my life and you can't bluff something like that. I told her I loved her and wished her luck.

We started the divorce and haven't talked since.

I miss her a great deal and love her more than words can say. I'm heartbroken and not ashamed to say I feel like I made a mistake by not taking her back. The mature part of me says that I did what's best for both of us.

On the bright side, my new girlfriend is a beautiful Irish, German, Lebanese woman - 31 yrs old...4 years older than me. She owns a sports bar and she loves me to death. She's already moved in with me. She does my laundry, cooks for me, cleans my condo, does my grocery shopping and I don't even ask her to do it.....and it also helps that we have sex 2-3 times a day...and our sex life is amazing. We have so much in common. I spent Christmas with her family at their house and spent Thanksgiving at their cottage...good times.

I still miss my ex-wife and wonder what she is doing everyday. I cannot help but feel very guilty about how this went down.
 
the_alcatraz said:
I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. In a nutshell, my wife asked for separation. I was devastated. I asked her to re-think about it and asked her to give me her word that we will separate for a while but work on ourselves to come back and be together....she said she can't promise me anything. I was very depressed for a few weeks. Almost lost my job, stopped going to work, didn't care about getting out of bed. I found a condo, moved into my own place, bought furniture and did it all in under a week...it was hectic and hard to do by myself...I have no family in Canada....and all my friends were her friends before so everyone just ditched my ass because they blamed me...so here I was, no family, no friends....etc...

After 2 weeks of misery, I start thinking about this with a clear head and decide that even though I love her and want things to work out, we have nothing in common, we don't get along and we're always fighting...we just don't mesh...I called her one month before we were supposed to get together to make a decision and told her it was over. She was devastated...cried for hours, begged me to take her back....I couldnt do it. I said this is best for both of us....I said it breaks my heart but I cant be in a relationship with someone who is not happy with me...we havent had been intimate for a few months and everyone knows what that does to a man. She said she bluffed and didnt really want a divorce...she just wanted me to change. I said this is my life and you can't bluff something like that. I told her I loved her and wished her luck.

We started the divorce and haven't talked since.

I miss her a great deal and love her more than words can say. I'm heartbroken and not ashamed to say I feel like I made a mistake by not taking her back. The mature part of me says that I did what's best for both of us.

On the bright side, my new girlfriend is a beautiful Irish, German, Lebanese woman - 31 yrs old...4 years older than me. She owns a sports bar and she loves me to death. She's already moved in with me. She does my laundry, cooks for me, cleans my condo, does my grocery shopping and I don't even ask her to do it.....and it also helps that we have sex 2-3 times a day...and our sex life is amazing. We have so much in common. I spent Christmas with her family at their house and spent Thanksgiving at their cottage...good times.

I still miss my ex-wife and wonder what she is doing everyday. I cannot help but feel very guilty about how this went down.
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red-flag.jpg
 
miplank said:
red-flag.jpg
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You may have stopped reading too soon bro...

the_alcatraz said:
She does my laundry, cooks for me, cleans my condo, does my grocery shopping and I don't even ask her to do it.....and it also helps that we have sex 2-3 times a day...and our sex life is amazing.
Click to expand...
 
the_alcatraz said:
I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. In a nutshell, my wife asked for separation. I was devastated. I asked her to re-think about it and asked her to give me her word that we will separate for a while but work on ourselves to come back and be together....she said she can't promise me anything. I was very depressed for a few weeks. Almost lost my job, stopped going to work, didn't care about getting out of bed. I found a condo, moved into my own place, bought furniture and did it all in under a week...it was hectic and hard to do by myself...I have no family in Canada....and all my friends were her friends before so everyone just ditched my ass because they blamed me...so here I was, no family, no friends....etc...

After 2 weeks of misery, I start thinking about this with a clear head and decide that even though I love her and want things to work out, we have nothing in common, we don't get along and we're always fighting...we just don't mesh...I called her one month before we were supposed to get together to make a decision and told her it was over. She was devastated...cried for hours, begged me to take her back....I couldnt do it. I said this is best for both of us....I said it breaks my heart but I cant be in a relationship with someone who is not happy with me...we havent had been intimate for a few months and everyone knows what that does to a man. She said she bluffed and didnt really want a divorce...she just wanted me to change. I said this is my life and you can't bluff something like that. I told her I loved her and wished her luck.

We started the divorce and haven't talked since.

I miss her a great deal and love her more than words can say. I'm heartbroken and not ashamed to say I feel like I made a mistake by not taking her back. The mature part of me says that I did what's best for both of us.

On the bright side, my new girlfriend is a beautiful Irish, German, Lebanese woman - 31 yrs old...4 years older than me. She owns a sports bar and she loves me to death. She's already moved in with me. She does my laundry, cooks for me, cleans my condo, does my grocery shopping and I don't even ask her to do it.....and it also helps that we have sex 2-3 times a day...and our sex life is amazing. We have so much in common. I spent Christmas with her family at their house and spent Thanksgiving at their cottage...good times.

I still miss my ex-wife and wonder what she is doing everyday. I cannot help but feel very guilty about how this went down.
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Brofist for not giving back in and taking her back. I'm sure that was hard as fuk but hell there's way to many women out there
 
traz, bro...keep thinking clearly and things will all work out. Don't rush into anything too serious too soon (aka another marriage), just have fun and enjoy yourself and the people you're with.
 
Rachel...lol said:
Sorry on the divorce :(
New girlfriend? I guess that means you don't want to meatup ;)
Click to expand...

hold up there! He didn't say anything about not wanting to meatup!

lol!
 
If you didn't lose any money than you got off easier than most. If someone says they don't want to be with you for that long they must have complaints. I am sure my ex I had for 4 years had a long list ( I know she did). But... I proved that bitch so wrong and she feels like a fool now I'm sure, lol.
 
lartinos said:
If you didn't lose any money than you got off easier than most. If someone says they don't want to be with you for that long they must have complaints. I am sure my ex I had for 4 years had a long list ( I know she did). But... I proved that bitch so wrong and she feels like a fool now I'm sure, lol.
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*then
 
How long were you completely single Traz? sounds like you found someone new to take care of you, first you gotta take care of yourself bro, otherwise you're just hiding from things.
 
the_alcatraz said:
I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. In a nutshell, my wife asked for separation. I was devastated. I asked her to re-think about it and asked her to give me her word that we will separate for a while but work on ourselves to come back and be together....she said she can't promise me anything. I was very depressed for a few weeks. Almost lost my job, stopped going to work, didn't care about getting out of bed. I found a condo, moved into my own place, bought furniture and did it all in under a week...it was hectic and hard to do by myself...I have no family in Canada....and all my friends were her friends before so everyone just ditched my ass because they blamed me...so here I was, no family, no friends....etc...

After 2 weeks of misery, I start thinking about this with a clear head and decide that even though I love her and want things to work out, we have nothing in common, we don't get along and we're always fighting...we just don't mesh...I called her one month before we were supposed to get together to make a decision and told her it was over. She was devastated...cried for hours, begged me to take her back....I couldnt do it. I said this is best for both of us....I said it breaks my heart but I cant be in a relationship with someone who is not happy with me...we havent had been intimate for a few months and everyone knows what that does to a man. She said she bluffed and didnt really want a divorce...she just wanted me to change. I said this is my life and you can't bluff something like that. I told her I loved her and wished her luck.

We started the divorce and haven't talked since.

I miss her a great deal and love her more than words can say. I'm heartbroken and not ashamed to say I feel like I made a mistake by not taking her back. The mature part of me says that I did what's best for both of us.

On the bright side, my new girlfriend is a beautiful Irish, German, Lebanese woman - 31 yrs old...4 years older than me. She owns a sports bar and she loves me to death. She's already moved in with me. She does my laundry, cooks for me, cleans my condo, does my grocery shopping and I don't even ask her to do it.....and it also helps that we have sex 2-3 times a day...and our sex life is amazing. We have so much in common. I spent Christmas with her family at their house and spent Thanksgiving at their cottage...good times.

I still miss my ex-wife and wonder what she is doing everyday. I cannot help but feel very guilty about how this went down.
Click to expand...

i'm sorry man...like bino, i also had no idea and thought you were happily married.

in one sense, i can't say i'm surprised. getting married young is a surefire way to get divorced sooner than later. but that doesn't make it any easier.

i feel for ya bro...it's good that you broke the cycle becasue you would have just prolonged the inevitable by taking her back. it takes strength to make that decision instead of just keeping people around because you're afraid to lose them or be alone.

however, meeting a new girl and letting her move in right away is NOT healthy. she's a rebound, and you're not thinking clearly. all that stuff is great about the cooking/laundry etc but you barely know this person and you just made a kneejerk reaction out of loneliness. you need to let yourself deal with all the feelings before you jump into a new relationship


trust me...i'm in a somewhat similar boat right now although no marriage tag was attached. i feel like complete crap and even though i feel lonely right now i know i'm not in a position to be in a relationship
 
calveless wonder said:
whatever man. if you get divorced one day, you'll be pretty SWV yourself
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That's just it. Traz's thread here is such a non SWV thread, it should be the model of how to do it.

He's divorced and moved on, got a girl cooking for him, cleaning for him, doing his laundry and grocery shopping and giving him great sex 2-3 times a day!

That's how it's done, sir!
 
ceo said:
That's just it. Traz's thread here is such a non SWV thread, it should be the model of how to do it.

He's divorced and moved on, got a girl cooking for him, cleaning for him, doing his laundry and grocery shopping and giving him great sex 2-3 times a day!

That's how it's done, sir!
Click to expand...

oh, your comment was confusing.

what he's doing is not healthy though. he's basically just masking the problem with this new chick when he's not in the right emotional state.

being alone fucking sucks after you end a long term relationship, so i can understand the motive but it's something that you need to go through to heal properly.
 
i was about to make an SWV thread but two is too many. people will just refer to this thread when i post it

i'll just bottle up my feelings instead and deal with it like i deal with most things. by myself
 
i am going thru the exact same thing right now...my wife said she wanted a divorce unless i changed...so i got my act together and was a role model for all husbands since last summer...my xmas gift was she said she doesnt want to be married to me anyhmore hahaha so now im moving to cali and she is taking my house that i owned outright...fuck getting a new gf...ill be single for rest fo mylife now


the_alcatraz said:
I'm not sure what to make of it to be honest. In a nutshell, my wife asked for separation. I was devastated. I asked her to re-think about it and asked her to give me her word that we will separate for a while but work on ourselves to come back and be together....she said she can't promise me anything. I was very depressed for a few weeks. Almost lost my job, stopped going to work, didn't care about getting out of bed. I found a condo, moved into my own place, bought furniture and did it all in under a week...it was hectic and hard to do by myself...I have no family in Canada....and all my friends were her friends before so everyone just ditched my ass because they blamed me...so here I was, no family, no friends....etc...

After 2 weeks of misery, I start thinking about this with a clear head and decide that even though I love her and want things to work out, we have nothing in common, we don't get along and we're always fighting...we just don't mesh...I called her one month before we were supposed to get together to make a decision and told her it was over. She was devastated...cried for hours, begged me to take her back....I couldnt do it. I said this is best for both of us....I said it breaks my heart but I cant be in a relationship with someone who is not happy with me...we havent had been intimate for a few months and everyone knows what that does to a man. She said she bluffed and didnt really want a divorce...she just wanted me to change. I said this is my life and you can't bluff something like that. I told her I loved her and wished her luck.

We started the divorce and haven't talked since.

I miss her a great deal and love her more than words can say. I'm heartbroken and not ashamed to say I feel like I made a mistake by not taking her back. The mature part of me says that I did what's best for both of us.

On the bright side, my new girlfriend is a beautiful Irish, German, Lebanese woman - 31 yrs old...4 years older than me. She owns a sports bar and she loves me to death. She's already moved in with me. She does my laundry, cooks for me, cleans my condo, does my grocery shopping and I don't even ask her to do it.....and it also helps that we have sex 2-3 times a day...and our sex life is amazing. We have so much in common. I spent Christmas with her family at their house and spent Thanksgiving at their cottage...good times.

I still miss my ex-wife and wonder what she is doing everyday. I cannot help but feel very guilty about how this went down.
Click to expand...
 
so the moral of the story is, if you do steroids you will get a divorce?
 
Beauty - wife
Sexiness and friskiness - gf

Here are the facts:

This new gf made me work hard for her...she turned me down at first because she said she had no time. She just opened her sports bar 6 months ago and she works long hours...I did my thing and got her. This was a homerun from the start. We have so much in common (more than I ever had with any girl) We are both nature oriented, like to hike, ride horses, fight, swin, rock climb, run, etc...we like to travel and experience new things. We both love sex and we're both really good at it...so it works great. Did I mention she loves doing everything for me...and to be honest man, she made me fall in love with her in 4 months. That has never happened to me...ever. This is not a rebound. I went on a sex binge and slept with more woman than half the guys in this thread ever did...in one month. I dated / slept with so many women I swear to you just sex got boring. I need someone in my life and it feels good to come home to someone who makes you feel like a real man....who years for you to climb up on top of them and who ride like a champ, in bed and on the street, so to speak....she's down for whatever and we're great together. We even go salsa dancing and have a great time. It helps that she owns her own business and she's independant. I don't have to feel like I have to babysit because she's 4 years older than me....definately marriage material but not until another 3-4 years at least...if all remains well.

CW, I know exactly what you are saying bro....but maybe something that may start as a rebound can turn into something a lot more?

Bino, CEO and everyone else...I love you guys. Seriously. CEO, you would be the ultimate wingman.

Rachel, we were supposed to meet up a while back but never did. I'll hit you up when I'm in your area again. I think I still have your digits.
 
smurf2 said:
Best way to heal is to move on to someone else. Way to go Traz!
Click to expand...

LOL! Best way to get over someone is to get under someone new!

Hellz yeah!!! ^5
 
the_alcatraz said:
Beauty - wife
Sexiness and friskiness - gf

Here are the facts:

This new gf made me work hard for her...she turned me down at first because she said she had no time. She just opened her sports bar 6 months ago and she works long hours...I did my thing and got her. This was a homerun from the start. We have so much in common (more than I ever had with any girl) We are both nature oriented, like to hike, ride horses, fight, swin, rock climb, run, etc...we like to travel and experience new things. We both love sex and we're both really good at it...so it works great. Did I mention she loves doing everything for me...and to be honest man, she made me fall in love with her in 4 months. That has never happened to me...ever. This is not a rebound. I went on a sex binge and slept with more woman than half the guys in this thread ever did...in one month. I dated / slept with so many women I swear to you just sex got boring. I need someone in my life and it feels good to come home to someone who makes you feel like a real man....who years for you to climb up on top of them and who ride like a champ, in bed and on the street, so to speak....she's down for whatever and we're great together. We even go salsa dancing and have a great time. It helps that she owns her own business and she's independant. I don't have to feel like I have to babysit because she's 4 years older than me....definately marriage material but not until another 3-4 years at least...if all remains well.

CW, I know exactly what you are saying bro....but maybe something that may start as a rebound can turn into something a lot more?

Bino, CEO and everyone else...I love you guys. Seriously. CEO, you would be the ultimate wingman.

Rachel, we were supposed to meet up a while back but never did. I'll hit you up when I'm in your area again. I think I still have your digits.
Click to expand...

Sounds like you got your head on right! I'm proud of you bro! And what's right for one person isn't necessarily the same for all. People deal with things differently. Some people get over things faster than others, or accept things quicker. Nice job on banging all them hoes! Atta boy! We would be unstoppable bro. I got your back.

As for the differences (beauty vs. sexiness/friskiness), I'd take the sexy/frisky any day. A girl like that is way better than a frigid beauty. Who cares how beautiful a woman is if she's a bitch or you always argue or she has little interest in sex with you. A sexy woman who is turned on by you and initiates sexual activity with you is more beautiful to me than a gorgeous beauty who is a cold, harsh bitch.
 
calveless wonder said:
i was about to make an SWV thread but two is too many. people will just refer to this thread when i post it

i'll just bottle up my feelings instead and deal with it like i deal with most things. by myself
Click to expand...
I dont mind SWV threads bro, go ahead and vent, that's what we are here for :)


the_alcatraz said:
Beauty - wife
Sexiness and friskiness - gf

Here are the facts:

This new gf made me work hard for her...she turned me down at first because she said she had no time. She just opened her sports bar 6 months ago and she works long hours...I did my thing and got her. This was a homerun from the start. We have so much in common (more than I ever had with any girl) We are both nature oriented, like to hike, ride horses, fight, swin, rock climb, run, etc...we like to travel and experience new things. We both love sex and we're both really good at it...so it works great. Did I mention she loves doing everything for me...and to be honest man, she made me fall in love with her in 4 months. That has never happened to me...ever. This is not a rebound. I went on a sex binge and slept with more woman than half the guys in this thread ever did...in one month. I dated / slept with so many women I swear to you just sex got boring. I need someone in my life and it feels good to come home to someone who makes you feel like a real man....who years for you to climb up on top of them and who ride like a champ, in bed and on the street, so to speak....she's down for whatever and we're great together. We even go salsa dancing and have a great time. It helps that she owns her own business and she's independant. I don't have to feel like I have to babysit because she's 4 years older than me....definately marriage material but not until another 3-4 years at least...if all remains well.

CW, I know exactly what you are saying bro....but maybe something that may start as a rebound can turn into something a lot more?

Bino, CEO and everyone else...I love you guys. Seriously. CEO, you would be the ultimate wingman.

Rachel, we were supposed to meet up a while back but never did. I'll hit you up when I'm in your area again. I think I still have your digits.
Click to expand...

Ok, I was just concerned you didn't process things right with the break up, but it sounds like you do have your shit together so good going Traz :). As CEO mentioned we all deal with things differently and as you mentioned a rebound can turn into something else, almost immediately after I broke up with my last ex I wanted to sleep with this guy in my office so badly, and I did, but he got clingy and stuck around so I asked him if he wanted to get to know me or just get into my pants (I just wanted to get into his and not much more to be honest) and he said he wanted to know me, go out, meet my family... we've now been together over 6 years :)
 
nangiggles said:
almost immediately after I broke up with my last ex I wanted to sleep with this guy in my office so badly, and I did, but he got clingy and stuck around so I asked him if he wanted to get to know me or just get into my pants (I just wanted to get into his and not much more to be honest) and he said he wanted to know me, go out, meet my family... we've now been together over 6 years :)
Click to expand...

Sounds like a real SWV!

He should post here!
 
nangiggles said:
I dont mind SWV threads bro, go ahead and vent, that's what we are here for :)




Ok, I was just concerned you didn't process things right with the break up, but it sounds like you do have your shit together so good going Traz :). As CEO mentioned we all deal with things differently and as you mentioned a rebound can turn into something else, almost immediately after I broke up with my last ex I wanted to sleep with this guy in my office so badly, and I did, but he got clingy and stuck around so I asked him if he wanted to get to know me or just get into my pants (I just wanted to get into his and not much more to be honest) and he said he wanted to know me, go out, meet my family... we've now been together over 6 years :)
Click to expand...

And to this day he still doesn't want in your pants
 
ceo said:
Sounds like you got your head on right! I'm proud of you bro! And what's right for one person isn't necessarily the same for all. People deal with things differently. Some people get over things faster than others, or accept things quicker. Nice job on banging all them hoes! Atta boy! We would be unstoppable bro. I got your back.

As for the differences (beauty vs. sexiness/friskiness), I'd take the sexy/frisky any day. A girl like that is way better than a frigid beauty. Who cares how beautiful a woman is if she's a bitch or you always argue or she has little interest in sex with you. A sexy woman who is turned on by you and initiates sexual activity with you is more beautiful to me than a gorgeous beauty who is a cold, harsh bitch.
Click to expand...

Agreed bro...
 
Hope you're happier now bro with the new relationship. I'm only in my 3rd month of marriage & due to work commitments it's hard work trying to keep the mrs happy.
 
the_alcatraz said:
Beauty - wife
Sexiness and friskiness - gf

Here are the facts:

This new gf made me work hard for her...she turned me down at first because she said she had no time. She just opened her sports bar 6 months ago and she works long hours...I did my thing and got her. This was a homerun from the start. We have so much in common (more than I ever had with any girl) We are both nature oriented, like to hike, ride horses, fight, swin, rock climb, run, etc...we like to travel and experience new things. We both love sex and we're both really good at it...so it works great. Did I mention she loves doing everything for me...and to be honest man, she made me fall in love with her in 4 months. That has never happened to me...ever. This is not a rebound. I went on a sex binge and slept with more woman than half the guys in this thread ever did...in one month. I dated / slept with so many women I swear to you just sex got boring. I need someone in my life and it feels good to come home to someone who makes you feel like a real man....who years for you to climb up on top of them and who ride like a champ, in bed and on the street, so to speak....she's down for whatever and we're great together. We even go salsa dancing and have a great time. It helps that she owns her own business and she's independant. I don't have to feel like I have to babysit because she's 4 years older than me....definately marriage material but not until another 3-4 years at least...if all remains well.

CW, I know exactly what you are saying bro....but maybe something that may start as a rebound can turn into something a lot more?

Bino, CEO and everyone else...I love you guys. Seriously. CEO, you would be the ultimate wingman.

Rachel, we were supposed to meet up a while back but never did. I'll hit you up when I'm in your area again. I think I still have your digits.
Click to expand...

Translation - She's a dude.

 
I still haven't been able to find out what SWV is. Google suggests it's either Sisters With Voices or Something Weird Video.
 
WoodyO said:
I still haven't been able to find out what SWV is. Google suggests it's either Sisters With Voices or Something Weird Video.
Click to expand...

LOL..at least I'm not the only one. Somebody help us out here??
 
the_alcatraz said:
married 4 years...not sure what you mean by quick?
Click to expand...

The divorce was quick were you not married in Canada? I thought you had to be seperated at least a year at least in Canada you do. Not sure how it works if you were married outside the country.

P.S. I had 4 very close friends now get divorced no matter if you think you feel great things are going to hit you over time and you will be like wtf I thought I was over this shit. Anyways I highly suggest therapy divorce is much like getting over a death sometimes even harder.
 
superqt4u2nv said:
The divorce was quick were you not married in Canada? I thought you had to be seperated at least a year at least in Canada you do. Not sure how it works if you were married outside the country.

P.S. I had 4 very close friends now get divorced no matter if you think you feel great things are going to hit you over time and you will be like wtf I thought I was over this shit. Anyways I highly suggest therapy divorce is much like getting over a death sometimes even harder.
Click to expand...

How many did you cause with your new (or not so new) boobs?
 
EnderJE said:
How many did you cause with your new (or not so new) boobs?
Click to expand...

Zero two were before the boobs and the other two were more recent still that ain't my style there is enough men out there no need to be interested in someone else's man. In my experience no one is that special.
 
superqt4u2nv said:
The divorce was quick were you not married in Canada? I thought you had to be seperated at least a year at least in Canada you do. Not sure how it works if you were married outside the country.

P.S. I had 4 very close friends now get divorced no matter if you think you feel great things are going to hit you over time and you will be like wtf I thought I was over this shit. Anyways I highly suggest therapy divorce is much like getting over a death sometimes even harder.
Click to expand...

Been uphappily married for a while. Already went through a depression. Already saw couples therapy before divorce. Therapist suggested we get a divorce...still cry every few days....shit's hard no doubt...luckily my new girlfriend is patient as fuck and supportive.

I got married in Lebanon and gave my dad proxy to get the divorce done on my behalf in lebanon then all you have to do is translate it and implement in Canada....we have no shared assets or kids or anthing....was married for 4 years.
 
been having the weirdest fuckin dream:

i would get a phone call from ex-wife's brother - wakes me up....he says something like wtf are you still doing home....your wife is waiting for you to pick her up from (it's a diff place everytime) come up man get up get dressed and go...I would quickly run through the routines, shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, get excited about seeing her (she would be coming back from somewhere - vacation on something...) I would get in the car drive to the airport or somewhere else...as soon as I get there....I'm excited and smiling and I call her, wave at her like an idiot then she looks at me and her eyes tear up...she says: what are you doing here? why do you want to hurt me? what are you trying to do, you leave me and now you're torturing me?? Then I realise what has happened....we're no longer together. I wake up fuckin sweating and in tears....

wtf is going on and wtf am I having these fuckin dreams??
 
the_alcatraz said:
been having the weirdest fuckin dream:

i would get a phone call from ex-wife's brother - wakes me up....he says something like wtf are you still doing home....your wife is waiting for you to pick her up from (it's a diff place everytime) come up man get up get dressed and go...I would quickly run through the routines, shower, brush my teeth, get dressed, get excited about seeing her (she would be coming back from somewhere - vacation on something...) I would get in the car drive to the airport or somewhere else...as soon as I get there....I'm excited and smiling and I call her, wave at her like an idiot then she looks at me and her eyes tear up...she says: what are you doing here? why do you want to hurt me? what are you trying to do, you leave me and now you're torturing me?? Then I realise what has happened....we're no longer together. I wake up fuckin sweating and in tears....

wtf is going on and wtf am I having these fuckin dreams??
Click to expand...



Damn, that's heavy bro. Clearly you are still struggling with the divorce on a subconscious level, and that's being expressed in your dreams.
 
tell me about it...I told my girlfriend about the dream and she replies: It's going to take time baby but I'll be by your side and we'll get over this together. I think this girl is too good for me.
 
Hope things work out for ya it takes time, I had a few rough ones if ur in ontario I have tonnes of friends there and im there a lot too pm me if u ever get In a major jam up man
Cheers
 
"She said she bluffed and didnt really want a divorce...she just wanted me to change"

This is such an incredibly stupid thing to do be it male or female.

From a Psychological point of view, you plant the seed/idea that you may not be around, you might take off and the person who receives this statement will start the process of letting go.
 
TC2 said:
"She said she bluffed and didnt really want a divorce...she just wanted me to change"

This is such an incredibly stupid thing to do be it male or female.

From a Psychological point of view, you plant the seed/idea that you may not be around, you might take off and the person who receives this statement will start the process of letting go.
Click to expand...

Dude, this PERFECTLY describes what happened to me...I couldn't have put it better myself. At first I didn't even want to consider it but then it seems to be a better idea every day.
 
its similar to the grieving process of when a loved one gives the news of a terminal illness...like it or not your mind will start the process of letting go in order make it easier to deal with mentally.

Same when someone makes a declaration of "or else I'm leaving", suddenly you are faced with the stark reality that when it comes down to it..ultimately someone, a loved one, could walk in one day tell you I'm leaving.

And nothing you can do can fix the situation.
 
the_alcatraz said:
Been uphappily married for a while. Already went through a depression. Already saw couples therapy before divorce. Therapist suggested we get a divorce...still cry every few days....shit's hard no doubt...luckily my new girlfriend is patient as fuck and supportive.

I got married in Lebanon and gave my dad proxy to get the divorce done on my behalf in lebanon then all you have to do is translate it and implement in Canada....we have no shared assets or kids or anthing....was married for 4 years.
Click to expand...

Trust me I'm saying this as a friend even if you feel fine see a therapist. The shit is going to come back up on you when you least expect it. Getting over divorce is a long process typically at least a year and that from the friends that saw a therapist. My best friend didn't it took her much longer to get over things nearly 4 years.
 
superqt4u2nv said:
Trust me I'm saying this as a friend even if you feel fine see a therapist. The shit is going to come back up on you when you least expect it. Getting over divorce is a long process typically at least a year and that from the friends that saw a therapist. My best friend didn't it took her much longer to get over things nearly 4 years.
Click to expand...

female companionship >>>>>> therapist

unless therapist = female companion
 
the_alcatraz said:
female companionship >>>>>> therapist

unless therapist = female companion
Click to expand...

Yep one of my buddies did that to guess what it delayed him dealing with his shit. I promise you if you don't deal with your feelings there going to come back and it will be way worse. I have seen two men and two woman go through this the one that was two proud for therapy took them way longer to get passed things.
 
Why the need to get past things? Just carry the resentment forever. That's what I'm doing. It works for me. very cathartic to hate someone.
 
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