Is MARRIAGE becoming an OUTDATED institution?

[RyanH]

Why do you always CAPITALIZE certain WORDS in your titles, Ryan? Are your threads more important than anyone else's?

Why do you often ask irrelevant questions?

 

[RyanH]

Ryan, what are your views concerning same sex marriages?

I would never marry either a man or a woman since I simply do not see the point. However, both gay and straight couples ought to receive the equal treatment if they do, in fact, choose the institution of marriage. Thus, I am a proponent of same-sex marriages.

 

[Bikini Mod]

I agree.

If a couple WANTS to marry (regardless of gender, two consenting adults) then they should be allowed. HOWEVER, if a couple does NOT feel the need to have thier relationship "validated" by law (as if this REALLY matters) then they should not be legally penalized.

 

[vixenbabe]

If anything ever happened to my hubby, GOD FORBID, I would never get married again....

TAKES TOO DAMN LONG TO TRAIN MEN RIGHT!

 

[WODIN]

I consider myself a lucky man to have as wonderful a wife as I do. Going on 15 Years, 2 of which have been pretty good! (joke)....

 

[decem]

well.. i used to be on the "i'm never going to marry bandwagon".. and.. i'm now getting married in one month to the day.. not for me.. but for her. i'm not religious (as most know), i don't feel a need to bind my relationship into law, and i'm actually kinda scared of the circumstances of doing so. but she needed it.. that's how she views her life as being complete.. if she's married.. she didn't force me into it.. i just knew that i couldn't ask her to move back from san fran to ohio again without giving her that..

so i sacrificed.. there's no telling what's going to happen.. i'd like to think we'd last forever.. but as with 40-50% of all marriages now.. that just isn't the case.. and i always took on a faithful, married type mindset if you will.. when we were just living together.. so in that sense.. it's not killing me.. we get a tax break.. so that's a good thing.. we'll have fun in vegas when we get married.. another good thing.. we'll get gifts from people we don't know and it'll alllow us to pay off some debt.. so that's a good thing..

i guess the only reason i'm telling you that is because there's very good possibility that you too will someday change your minds on marriage.. it's not all bad.. there is some good..


what type of more equitable laws for single parents are you considering though ryan? don't single parents receive more assistance than married couples as it is?

also.. i find your point regarding kids from married vs. single homes and their value to society is null and void.. even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes.. even a kid from a single parent grows up to be good sometimes..

has marriage really failed to solve many of our society's domestic problems? after all.. think back to the 30's-60's when the divorce rate was MUCH lower.. how many social problems were around back then? as a matter of fact.. couldn't it be said that it was the degradation of the perceived importance of marriage in society that has led society to where it is??

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

There is some confusion here.. There is a difference in marriage of the law, and marriage of gods blessing. Don't confuse the two. I believe in common law marriages.. Marriage is the eyes of the law is a means of creating a healthier environment for children. How can you be pro child, and anti-marriage at the same time? Its very common in these days for people to selectively choose the laws they'd like to follow, and assume anything they don't agree with should not apply to them.

In any case, if you dont give a shit about God, thats your own problem.. I dont care.. But there are reasons other than religion that marriage is institution recognized by the law. I doubt that will ever change either...

Were your parents married when they had you?

 

[musclebrains]

Marriage was first a way of regulating inheritance and it then became a means of enforcing the morality of the dominant culture -- in everything from child-rearing to sexual comportment (mandatory monogamy under the adultery laws).

"Family values" is often a coded expression for the nostalgic perpetuation of misogynstic and sex-phobic agendas, including the belief that society will degenerate into chaos if pleasure is not regulated through marriage. Psychology and religion ally themselves in America against unconventional relationships and means of child-rearing though there is utterly no evidence (but plenty of "intuition") that the state's sanction and the classic two-parent, mixed-sex household are necessary to maintaining a cohesive society.

I have worked with several divorcing couples recently and I have been astounded at the way the new "mediation" laws, far from aiding relatively friendly departures, often seem to inflame blame, to pressure people to stay married, etc. I'm unclear whether this is the intent of the law or is inside the culture of judges, lawyers and professional mediators administering the system. I went to one hearing recently and had to repeatedly remind the officials that my clients were divorcing amiably, had agreed upon a property settlement, even if their lawyers didn't, and that they were there to demonstrate that, not to legitimate their wish to divorce.

 

[musclebrains]

has marriage really failed to solve many of our society's domestic problems? after all.. think back to the 30's-60's when the divorce rate was MUCH lower.. how many social problems were around back then? as a matter of fact.. couldn't it be said that it was the degradation of the perceived importance of marriage in society that has led society to where it is??

The 60s gave women control of their bodies by giving them control of contraception. The so-called sexual revolution began the sabotage of the subservient role of women that was absolutely enforced in the marriage and family laws.

You could argue that the empowerment of women, along with the open deployment of the body for sexual pleasure, "degraded" marriage and resulted in a social revolution, yes.

But how are you going to return to a social organization of the past by -- what? -- making marriage mandatory, by making it harder to divorce, by putting (as Bush's Administration clearly wants) the body in the control of the state?

Life was also simpler, easier to negotiate, when the social classes were divided by state sanction. Wanna return to that too?

 

[Steroid_Virgin]

"Family values" is often a coded expression for the nostalgic perpetuation of misogynstic and sex-phobic agendas, including the belief that society will degenerate into chaos if pleasure is not regulated through marriage. Psychology and religion ally themselves in America against unconventional relationships and means of child-rearing though there is utterly no evidence (but plenty of "intuition") that the state's sanction and the classic two-parent, mixed-sex household are necessary to maintaining a cohesive society.

John Witherspoon, a signer of the Declaration of Independence one said "Consider all morality in general is conformity to a law."

Laws against murder, rape, stealing, child pornography, kidnaping, etc. are all laws that are legislating morality. These laws forbid people to murder, rape, steal, exploit children, kidnap, etc.

I know what you are thinking. "Just because you legislate morality does not mean people will obey the law." That is true, but just because everyone does not obey the morality of the law, thou shall not murder, does not mean we eliminate the laws on murder. If that were the case we would have no laws and everyone would do what was right in his own eyes.

People can choose to have children out of wed-lock.. that is their choice, but why does that mean marriage laws should be ablolished, because at the end of the day, most people still believe in it.