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Is jealousy a good thing?
- Thread starter PHATchik
- Start date
It's weakness and insecurity. It is not good in relationships or anywhere in life.
If you are not sure of yourself then you really don't have a lot to offer others.....
If you are not sure of yourself then you really don't have a lot to offer others.....
PHATchik said:
Practical exercise:
I think my GF is cheating. I am unsure of her.
If I am sure of myself: "it's her loss"
If I am insecure "What is she up to???? worry sets in."
reality - if she cheats you don't want her. why stress?
fistfullofsteel
Well-known member
MattTheSkywalker said:
O shit, Matt coming out with the hard lines today. Pulling no punches getting straight to the point.
fistfullofsteel
Well-known member
jealousy i think can be really pathetic. not to say i haven't been jealous of another person on some level. therefore, i have been pathetic on some level myself.
I have always had a problem with jealousy. Not in the normal sense. I`ve never been jealous. My wife does`nt really like that. It`s not a problem for her or anything, It`s just common knowledge that "gonelifting does`nt ever get jealous".
I`m very secure in our relationship. I honestly get turned off instead of jealous if I see someone else with my woman or the other way around.
I think you love immensely with the mind. If your mind is with someone else... You may not be loving the person you`re with anymore.
I`m very secure in our relationship. I honestly get turned off instead of jealous if I see someone else with my woman or the other way around.
I think you love immensely with the mind. If your mind is with someone else... You may not be loving the person you`re with anymore.
sh4dowf4lcon
New member
A little bit of jealousy is normal and can be healthy.
It is not what you feel which is negative. How you behave when you feel a certain way - that can be negative.
IMHO
It is not what you feel which is negative. How you behave when you feel a certain way - that can be negative.
IMHO
C
Code
Guest
I only get jealous over an actual event, for instance being cheated on.
But the idea of it doesn't make me jealous. Nor do I have jealous thoughts unless there's something to get jealous over.
Does it add something good to a relationship? No.
But the idea of it doesn't make me jealous. Nor do I have jealous thoughts unless there's something to get jealous over.
Does it add something good to a relationship? No.
B
Buffy Beffy
Guest
PHATchik said:
Sounds like a game. I wouldn't want to do anything for my SO to question my loyalty. I just don't think jelousy is a positive asset to a relationship.
Big Rick Rock
istrator
If you can't trust them... why be with them, I rather be alone than with somebody I can't trust. I feel the way Matt does, if she cheats on me it's her loss. You don't find a nigga like me just round'da courna.
If you ever listen to that song "Nam nigga" by -Trick Daddy. I feel like I wrote that shit.
If you ever listen to that song "Nam nigga" by -Trick Daddy. I feel like I wrote that shit.
Big Rick Rock
istrator
This is what i tell my bitoch every day.
Hoe you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
That'll represent like me
Who'll say some shit like me
One who'll lay the dick like me
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Who do the shit that I do
Run through yo whole lil' crew
Pay for it if I got to
Hoe you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
That'll run off in yo house
Put the gun off in yo mouth
Blow yo motherfucking brains out
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Who'll fall off in the club
Free drinks for the show some love
Take the bar home for the thugs
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Who know mo' niggas than me
Who do mo' killings than me
And weigh mo' dope dealings than me
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
You don't know nann nigga
That dress fresher than me
And you don't know nann nigga that wear mo' Polo shit than me
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Who do mo' freaky stuff
Eat the coochie wit the legs up
Then I blow it all in yo butt
And I don't know nann hoe uh-uh
Who liked the dick like you
Who'll bite the dick like you
On a dikey bitch like you
And I don't like a bitch like you
I'll fight a bitch like you
Ol' trifling bitch like you
Ain't no telling what you might do
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Hoe you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Hoe you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
That'll represent like me
Who'll say some shit like me
One who'll lay the dick like me
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Who do the shit that I do
Run through yo whole lil' crew
Pay for it if I got to
Hoe you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
That'll run off in yo house
Put the gun off in yo mouth
Blow yo motherfucking brains out
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Who'll fall off in the club
Free drinks for the show some love
Take the bar home for the thugs
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Who know mo' niggas than me
Who do mo' killings than me
And weigh mo' dope dealings than me
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
You don't know nann nigga
That dress fresher than me
And you don't know nann nigga that wear mo' Polo shit than me
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Who do mo' freaky stuff
Eat the coochie wit the legs up
Then I blow it all in yo butt
And I don't know nann hoe uh-uh
Who liked the dick like you
Who'll bite the dick like you
On a dikey bitch like you
And I don't like a bitch like you
I'll fight a bitch like you
Ol' trifling bitch like you
Ain't no telling what you might do
Bitch you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
Hoe you don't know nann nigga uh-uh
vinylgroover I
New member
MattTheSkywalker said:
Word, well said.
Jealousy is one of the most unproductive and dangerous emotions.
out_at_sea
Banned
Hmm.... Some would say that jealosy is a disease..... and love is a healthy condition, whereas other woudl say that a little jealosy can be conducive in a relationship.
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other--jealosy for love--, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealosy- in fact theyre almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for another. Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
I would say that some--not too much-- jealosy could be a healthy way of showing the other his/her love....too much , like in evertyhing else, could be lethal...moderation is the key....
The immature mind often mistakes one for the other--jealosy for love--, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealosy- in fact theyre almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for another. Both at once can produce unbearable turmoil.
I would say that some--not too much-- jealosy could be a healthy way of showing the other his/her love....too much , like in evertyhing else, could be lethal...moderation is the key....
sk* said:
You are wrong.
No offense, but from unintentional psychological profiling of your posts, you are screwing yourself. You will see in ten years or so.
BTW, the last thing I am trying to do now is be a dick.
-sk
I have been lied to many times in my life, friends, family, loved ones - my ex bosses - I can pick out a lie before it's even been said just by read their body language. I have no torrelance for lies and if it should lead to my personal loss - then so be it - I made my choice and I'm fine by it.
I will not let myself be put into a position of being made jealous because some shit head needs a different piece of ass to make himself feel good.
Now, if I'm on a date with a beau and an attractive woman is flirting with my beau - I'm thinking - I've got myself a hot guy and I can only smile to myself.
Why? Because if your mate respects you he or she would not put you into a position were you would feel insecure about their intentions with others nor would they put you into a position where you would feel slighted or jealous of their time spent without you.
sk* said:
Jealousy IS the mirror image of insecurity.
Learn it now or waste your life pissed off.
sk* said:
Right........wel, here on earth, this is how it works:
here's a dictionary definition of jeaolus
Fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position.
Here's definiton 2:
Resentful or bitter in rivalry; envious
Neither of these is possible without insecurity. Indeed they are the very definiton of insecurity.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
Jealousy IS the mirror image of insecurity.
This is correct, but jealousy is also a human emotion, uncontrolled at times in the heat of love.
Look at monkeys who express jealousy all the time in regards to their mates, it is an inbred emotion that cannot always be controlled.,
If you are controlling jealouse notions then it is just being suppressed through cognitive skill and advanced intelect.
This is correct, but jealousy is also a human emotion, uncontrolled at times in the heat of love.
Look at monkeys who express jealousy all the time in regards to their mates, it is an inbred emotion that cannot always be controlled.,
If you are controlling jealouse notions then it is just being suppressed through cognitive skill and advanced intelect.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
sk* said:
less instinct and more learning.
aka. leave a baby in the woods, he will regress to his animal instincts.
You can only have jealousy as a result of insecurity.
If you are secure, you cannot possibly want what other people have. It really is that simple.
If you are arguing against that then you are probably trying to justify your own insecurities.
If you are secure, you cannot possibly want what other people have. It really is that simple.
If you are arguing against that then you are probably trying to justify your own insecurities.
H
HighIntensity
Guest
MattTheSkywalker said:
unless you are perfect then you have some insecurities regardless.
MattTheSkywalker said:
You don't understand what you are talking about Matt.
"He is obviously looking at insecurity by its fourth definition, which is "lacking self confidence and plagued by anxiety". Obviously, that leads right to jealousy or can. That certainly isn't the "mirror image" of "fearful or wary of being supplanted" or "resentful of bitter in rivalry" or "envious". Jealousy is a much more concrete experience while insecurity is a more generalized state. " - Thx9000
-sk
HighIntensity said:
No...accepting your shortcomings is a part of security as well.
Security comes from a perfect understanding of yourself, not the attainment of perfection.
sh4dowf4lcon
New member
I dont think jealousy is a "good thing", but it is an emotion. I am very secure with my marriage and vice versa, so to me a little jealousy here or there is not bad. If you scream or yell or hit your wife because some guiy says hello in Wal Mart that is totally different...that is insecurity not jealousy.
Feeling a little jealous if you go to the bank and your husband is having a laugh with an exotic beauty in the line...is not "dangerous"... in fact, it can be healthy depending on how you deal with feeling that emotion.
It is tricky, but keep it in perspective: jealousy is an emotion, how you deal with feeling the emotion is the key.
Seeing a strong gentleman talking to my wife at the gym is not going to send me in a jealous rage, because I am not insecure. However, I may say to her later..."so johnny seemed like he was extra friendly this morning"...and she may reply, "yes, he was being friendly", and I may say, "I am a lucky man, you are a beautiful lady and I love you" and she would say, " I love you too honey"...Boom... I felt a little jealous seeing another man laughing and all with my wife, but I know she is loyal and I am not worried about her being unfaithful... I deal with feeling a little jealousy by giving her a compliment and telling her I am lucky etc...
When I get home from work that day she has left the kids at her moms, she is wearing something sexy, and there is a candle-lit dinner waiting for me...and my favorite desert!
The jealous feeling is not a negative emotion, it is how you deal with it that makes a situation negative or positive...
This was a hypothetical situation, and I hope it illustarted my perspective. I do not expect it would change your perspective, but maybe help you to understand mine.
Feeling a little jealous if you go to the bank and your husband is having a laugh with an exotic beauty in the line...is not "dangerous"... in fact, it can be healthy depending on how you deal with feeling that emotion.
It is tricky, but keep it in perspective: jealousy is an emotion, how you deal with feeling the emotion is the key.
Seeing a strong gentleman talking to my wife at the gym is not going to send me in a jealous rage, because I am not insecure. However, I may say to her later..."so johnny seemed like he was extra friendly this morning"...and she may reply, "yes, he was being friendly", and I may say, "I am a lucky man, you are a beautiful lady and I love you" and she would say, " I love you too honey"...Boom... I felt a little jealous seeing another man laughing and all with my wife, but I know she is loyal and I am not worried about her being unfaithful... I deal with feeling a little jealousy by giving her a compliment and telling her I am lucky etc...
When I get home from work that day she has left the kids at her moms, she is wearing something sexy, and there is a candle-lit dinner waiting for me...and my favorite desert!
The jealous feeling is not a negative emotion, it is how you deal with it that makes a situation negative or positive...
This was a hypothetical situation, and I hope it illustarted my perspective. I do not expect it would change your perspective, but maybe help you to understand mine.
sk* said:
He's wrong too.
Insecurity is the origin of jealousy. It is not possible without it. I can't beat this dead horse anymore. Rationalize your jealousy of whatever it was somewhere else.
MattTheSkywalker said:
No, I am not, but it is an argument of semantics none the less. You incorrectly claimed that two definitions were logically equivalent and then back tracked slightly. This has nothing to do with anyone’s insecurities either. Perhaps I haven’t any, perhaps SK* doesn’t either. I don’t see how that is/was relevant to the thread. What are your motives for trying to personalize the discussion with “Rationalize your jealousy of whatever it was somewhere else”? An interesting way of ending a discussion.
I do believe insecurity invariably begets jealousy, and I imagine in a state of complete security jealously would not occur. But, the two definitions are not mirror images.
T
The Shadow
Guest
Jealousy is a wasted emotion as the person in question will like whom they like whether you are jealous or not.
Save the emotion and effort.
Save the emotion and effort.
sh4dowf4lcon
New member
It is an emotion, and we are going to feel what we feel. We control how we behave when we feel a certain way.
I am secure enough to deal with whatever I feel in a positive manner with positive behavior. I do not think jealousy is good, but it is a human emotion, so I do not shun it as "BAD". How we deal with feeling jealousy or any other emotion is what makes each of us different.
I do agree with The Shadow what we feel will not change what the person in question feels. Our being jealous is not going to make the person in question change who they like. The person in question is their own unique individual and must be trusted on their character & their ability to be trusted.
Which brings me to the point of Trust and its relationship to Jealousy. Because I trust my wife, I do not overreact if/when I feel jealous. I know her and her character, so I am able to simmer down and move on with no friction. It is normal to experience a flutter of jealousy, but it is not healthy to overreact to this feeling / emotion with negative behavior.
I view jealousy as a normal human emotion. Whether or not you deal with the feeling in a negative manner is what makes you ...you.
I am secure enough to deal with whatever I feel in a positive manner with positive behavior. I do not think jealousy is good, but it is a human emotion, so I do not shun it as "BAD". How we deal with feeling jealousy or any other emotion is what makes each of us different.
I do agree with The Shadow what we feel will not change what the person in question feels. Our being jealous is not going to make the person in question change who they like. The person in question is their own unique individual and must be trusted on their character & their ability to be trusted.
Which brings me to the point of Trust and its relationship to Jealousy. Because I trust my wife, I do not overreact if/when I feel jealous. I know her and her character, so I am able to simmer down and move on with no friction. It is normal to experience a flutter of jealousy, but it is not healthy to overreact to this feeling / emotion with negative behavior.
I view jealousy as a normal human emotion. Whether or not you deal with the feeling in a negative manner is what makes you ...you.
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plornive
New member
In the few times I have ever felt truly close with a girl, it would have hurt me greatly to know that she was with another man. But I would not call it jealousy. This never happened to me, to my knowledge.
I would feel like a fool to see a girlfriend, close or not, with another man. It would disgust me more than anything. I would end the relationship quickly and bluntly.
I would feel like a fool to see a girlfriend, close or not, with another man. It would disgust me more than anything. I would end the relationship quickly and bluntly.
Heahy Minister
New member
MattTheSkywalker said:
NOBODY is completely secure.
MattTheSkywalker said:
NOBODY has a "perfect" understanding of oneself.
It is HUMAN NATURE for people to experience jealousy. The only difference is some experience it more than others as a result of being more insecure with themselves.
Hey Mister said:
Secure just means uderstanding and accepting your shortcomings. It means accepting that there are smarter/better-looking/richer/whatever people than you out there. It doesn't mean feeling bad about those things, in fact, being at peace yusually inspries one to work their ass off because they have a realistic picture of the world.
Jealousy is not human nature...insecurity is predictable in an American culture that pushes consumerism and conformity so aggressively, but that doesn't make it human nature.
sk* said:
Start your own thread. That's too long of a topic.
Heahy Minister
New member
MattTheSkywalker said:
Jealousy is an emotion.
People experience and feel emotions.
Thus, people experience jealousy (depending on ones level of security).
Jealousy is a shortcoming and if you cannot admit the fact that you experience this emotion at times (albeit very little), you are not as secure as you think you are.
Heahy Minister
New member
Sure you did. lol (kidding)
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