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In a non-monogamous relationship....
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musclebrains
New member
I've been in a LTR for 10 years. Six of them have been nonmonogamous. I don't think you can open a relationship and not have some rules about when and where, etc., and those in turn help contain the very natural impulse... to fuck everything in sight.
RyanH
New member
musclebrains said:
Do you think that if a couple plays together too regularly, then it could be a sign of other problems; i.e. need for constant validation?
I know that I could never be in a monogamous relationship, but then, it also seems pathetic when a person's boyfriend has fucked most of the hot bottoms in town, while with you.
what's the point of a relationship after a certain point? mere companionship?
HansNZ
New member
RyanH said:
It all depends on the basis of that relationship. My grandmother tells me that my grandfather gave up sex at sixty - but lived another 30 years. They still had a strong committed relationship without the element of sex. Their sense of togetherness wasn't based on sexual monogamy because there was no sex.
I don't see a conflict between and open sexual relationship and a strong healthy committed relationship. Just decide on what the basis of that relationship is.
mekannik
New member
Sure - there's nothing wrong with having an open relationship. Multiple partners coming in and out of you and your partner's lifes.
And throw a kid into the mix - no need to worry about screwing them up. Your superior moral and ethical stance will steer them through the "whose my daddies fucking tonite" questions.
Says something about a family unit (straight or gay).
BTW - you opened that can of worms, so stay off your soapbox.
RyanH
New member
mekannik said:
NEWSFLASH: I don't have children, nor do I want any.
Nonetheless, why are you subscribing to the uninformed notion that children of parents in a non-traditional relationship are "screwed up?" Do you have any data to support your argument? Or, are you just using the same uninformed logic that most people use to argue against gay adoptions?
I'm quite sure it's the latter.
musclebrains
New member
RyanH said:
I ask myself the same question a lot and have no answer.
I used to insist that my relationship was unaffected by my, um, frequent outside sex -- my partner plays much less frequently -- but I've come to the conclusion that I do avoid confronting some serious relationship problems by my behavior.
I do have occasional nostalgic flashes for the kind of single-minded passion for my partner I had when we first got together. And, like you, I do feel at times that I'm in this just for companionship.
RyanH
New member
I don't know MB. Sometimes I feel like I've become what I've always condemned so many straight couples for becoming---a part of a relationship that is routine and unimaginative.
I'm still trying to decide whether mere companionship is enough to live on. Why does the fear of being alone dictate so much of one's life?
I'm still trying to decide whether mere companionship is enough to live on. Why does the fear of being alone dictate so much of one's life?
MrMuscle
New member
In my eyes you arent in a relationship if you have multiple sexual partners. A relationship should be based on more than just sex, there should be strong feeling between the two. And if see others at the same time then its not a relationship, more a buisness companion, where the profit is sex. Im sure fucking good friends is great, but if that is what you want, then dont dare call it relationship.
RyanH
New member
MrMuscle said:
you don't believe strong feelings can exist between two people, and at the same time, those two people be sexually interested in others? Sex alone is not enough to define a relationship.
Also, why assume that a relationship constitutes just two people, there are a few people that are very happy in three person relationships. (unusual, but it exists).
mekannik
New member
NEWSFLASH: In prior posts all you have spouted is the superiority of gay over straight parenting couples (with no supported facts either). As usual you are missing the point of what is being typed.
My point is that you seem to be in a conundrum with your current relationship state - one of multiple partners. MY POINT is to throw a child into the mix (AGAIN - I did NOT state or imply that you had children) would have tragic repercussions for the child. And be it a straight or gay couple - the result would most likely be the same.
A question everyone has asked themselves at least once in life. And suddenly you see that both gays and straights have the same burden to shoulder - striving for balance and love. All of a sudden you have come down to a more human level.
Obnoxious White Guy
New member
it's times like this i wish cock did it for me...
HappyScrappy
New member
Mahogany is a strong hardwood that is easy to work with, stains evenly, wears well, looks gorgeous, and is basically perfect. It's also basically expensive, but it's worth every penny. The main reason why mahogany is so much more expensive than cherry, oak, and walnut is that it must be imported from Central America, South America, or Africa. American mahogany is marginally higher-quality than African mahogany. Mahogany does have its own unique beauty, but it really does not wear any better than cherry, oak, and American walnut (which are grown in North America). So, if you want high-quality gorgeous furniture that will last a lifetime - cherry, oak, and American walnut are fine. The only reason to pay a higher price for mahogany is for its unique look. You might also consider purchasing imitation mahogany that has been made from birch, if you can't afford the real thing. Birch is a high-quality wood that will wear well for many years. It won't be quite as gorgeous or long-lasting as the real thing, but it makes a good substitute. Avoid imitation mahogany that has been made from lower-quality woods, such as gum or so-called "Philippine mahogany", which is actually a scam and not real mahogany at all.
GinNJuice
New member
RyanH said:
Unfortunatly, those "lapses in judgment" kill. You have a very important RESPOSIBILITY, because of your lifestyle, to eliminate those lapses! Otherwise, you are no different than a mass murder.
..... of course maybe more tax dollars can be used to finally find a cure so that you can 'have poor judgment' anytime you like.
MrMuscle
New member
Yes, sure you can love several people, but you dont have to have sex with them just because you have feelings for them. The last time i checked we had evolved from "free to fuck who and what animals". In my opinion if you love several people you have to choose one, or none. If you love a person high enough you have to make sacrifices. One is being faithfull. If i had a gf (what? it could happend) and she had sex with other people and defended herself with "what? its only sex, why are you getting angry" then that girl wouldnt have grasped the whole concept of love and trust.
TheProject
New member
HappyScrappy said:
I'm an oak man, myself. You like oak, Jimmy?
HappyScrappy
New member
TheProject said:
oak is hard and can wreck your tool if you aren't careful - but the mahogony is a bit more rare and in my opinion a more beautiful hardwood.
it was frequently used in guitar making, but then rosewood was found to be more visually appealing and it is argued that the tone is better - but that is a matter of opinion.
RyanH
New member
Happyscrappy--as usual, I'm reminded why you are one of the most imaginative people on this board....no one beats the creative spark of the Scrappy....
Ginnjuice--spare us the lecture. Everyone knows the risks of unprotected sex, and both straight and gay have a responsibility to themselves and their partners to play safe. However, you are trying to imply that gays ought to be under stricter scrutiny than straight people ought to be under. (while AIDS spreads across the globe as more and more of a disease affecting heterosexuals, visit China and Africa for proof).
Ginnjuice--spare us the lecture. Everyone knows the risks of unprotected sex, and both straight and gay have a responsibility to themselves and their partners to play safe. However, you are trying to imply that gays ought to be under stricter scrutiny than straight people ought to be under. (while AIDS spreads across the globe as more and more of a disease affecting heterosexuals, visit China and Africa for proof).
TheProject
New member
HappyScrappy said:
Particle board isn't technically a wood, but it is the main component of most cheap furniture. Particle board is actually pressure-treated, glued-together, sawdust. Particle board furniture is a poor investment. It isn't very durable. It soaks up water (from the air) like a sponge and will eventually separate from the pretty veneers that often cover it. Don't worry about properly identifying particle board - you'll know it when you see it. It looks just like what it is - sawdust. It is sometimes referred to as "wood product".
HappyScrappy
New member
TheProject said:
my genitals are sometimes referred to as "wood product" - but that is mainly due to the heavy stains that I have used over the past few weeks.
casavant
New member
RyanH said:
LOL. The stripper I dated liked to use this argument too. I consider sex to be a fundamental element, but not THE fundamental element. I'm not ashamed to say that I value the feeling of intmacy I have when I'm having sex with someone I care about, and the fact that some other dude was banging the hell out of her just a couple of nights ago might sort of put a damper on that. Actually, it would make me want to vomit. You do your thing, I'll do mine.
GinNJuice
New member
RyanH said:
What are you talking about? I never said anything about hetros or gays.I'm talking about people who have multiple sex partners (whose partners have sex with multiple partners) without protection.... as you suggest you do during a 'few lapses'.
I don't care if you care if you like the cat or the dog, it's a RESPONSABILITY which you suggest you sometimes ignore. AIDS is an epidemic that NO ONE can ignore especially one with your lifestyle (read my third sentence again)
I am beginning to lose my respect for you
musclebrains
New member
GinNJuice said:
Strictly, since the day safe sex was described in the 80s. My first partner died of AIDS and my next two boyfriends were HIV-positive. I've never been anything but safe.
musclebrains
New member
RyanH said:
*Raises hand* I did this for two years.
RyanH
New member
GinNJuice said:
I'm talking about people who have multiple sex partners (whose partners have sex with multiple partners) without protection.... as you suggest you do during a 'few lapses'.
I don't care if you care if you like the cat or the dog, it's a RESPONSABILITY which you suggest you sometimes ignore. AIDS is an epidemic that NO ONE can ignore especially one with your lifestyle (read my third sentence again)
I am beginning to lose my respect for you
Did you not refer to "your lifestyle?" I interpreted that as meaning the gay lifestyle....thanks for clarifying.
As for playing safe---of course, I have a responsibility to play safe, just as EVERYONE else does. My point, however, is that I have had one or two lapses in judgment and fortunately I survived those lapses without being put at risk.
Granted, there is no excuse for being sexually irresponsible, the only person one has to blame is himself. But, that still doesn't change the fact that many people, both gay and straight, have had similar lapses in judgment, as shown by herpes, hepatitis, etc. Have you EVER had unprotected sex?
I was fortunate, many people are not.
I do not enter a non-monogamous relationship. I do not extend it nor do I accept it. Maybe I am old fashion, but I don't want a best friend who is a sleeping buddy on the side and have to find my kicks somewhere else. If he or I can't meet the other person's needs, we both need to head in seperate directions and find someone else that can "be all they can be" for us.
Not to say open relationships don't work, because I know some that do, however I look at the two involved and try to picture why they would live like this. Maybe they have too much financially tied up together, maybe they are really "best friends" but don't have sex with each other (it happens), maybe one has no interest in sex, or whatever. But in the case of where the open relationship is working, it is because BOTH partners are in agree to it. When it is a case of one screwing around simply because he is the bread winner or house is in his name or whatever and the other is denied the same right, then that is just wrong.
When two people are having a plethora of sexual encounters each month with people other than their "partners" (giving the sex is solo and the partner is missing - not an orgy or anything) then that should be an indication to measure the relationship by. I mean, how much is too much? And if it is too much, then what is the point of having a relationship?
AND...... I didn't read any previous replies before jumping in and giving my .02 so if I missed something, I don't want to hear about it.
Not to say open relationships don't work, because I know some that do, however I look at the two involved and try to picture why they would live like this. Maybe they have too much financially tied up together, maybe they are really "best friends" but don't have sex with each other (it happens), maybe one has no interest in sex, or whatever. But in the case of where the open relationship is working, it is because BOTH partners are in agree to it. When it is a case of one screwing around simply because he is the bread winner or house is in his name or whatever and the other is denied the same right, then that is just wrong.
When two people are having a plethora of sexual encounters each month with people other than their "partners" (giving the sex is solo and the partner is missing - not an orgy or anything) then that should be an indication to measure the relationship by. I mean, how much is too much? And if it is too much, then what is the point of having a relationship?
AND...... I didn't read any previous replies before jumping in and giving my .02 so if I missed something, I don't want to hear about it.
RyanH
New member
musclebrains said:
MB, you've done it all. lol.
I came very close to trying it a couple of years ago with a couple that lived here in Atlanta. But, from the start of our time together, I constantly felt like their sexual cure, thus I digressed. I wouldn't rule it out though.
I know a trio in New York that is quite happy, both sexually and romantically.
RyanH said:
Very true. I would always feel like an outsider in the relationship. Don't you think that two of the three would be more loyal and attached to one another?
I know 2 Canadians that have been together for 18 years. 6 years ago they met a 17 year old Latin guy and moved him in with them. All slept in the same bed. As of 2 years ago, One of the partners and the Latin guy will only have sex together. The other partner is never included. Yet, they still sleep in the same bed...
musclebrains
New member
YOur attitude was mine for years, AA. But the fact is that the sexual passion cools in most relationships -- but not all, certainly -- after four or five years. One can react to this in a number of ways.
A. Cheat.
B. Accept it and have less sex, maybe reinvesting your libido in other ways, like childrearing.
C. End the relationship.
D. Give one another permission to play with others.
I was not willing to cheat. I did not want to give up sex. I did not want to end my relationship, because I love my partner. So I proposed an open relationship. WE talked about it for months and my partner agreed.
As I said in another post it has created a new set of problems, but I would have definitely left the relationship if this had not worked out.
I will speculate that there is some difference in Ryan's situation and mine, in that it seems like his relationship is fairly new. (Am I wrong about this?) I think it would be more difficult to make an open relationship work if you start that way.
Nevertheless, I'm impressed with his decision. Most guys in their 20s I know still are understandably very much under the spell of romantic love's idealization of monogamy. The idea of an open relationship doesn't usually become viable until a person has been in a few relationships of years duration and discovers how parenthetical sexual monogamy is to the bond between two people. I can't imagine leaving my 10 year relationship because I found someone sexy, so jealousy is not an issue between us.
I think the number of people, heterosexuals included, who practice a don't ask/don't tell ethic around outside sex is grossly underestimated.
A. Cheat.
B. Accept it and have less sex, maybe reinvesting your libido in other ways, like childrearing.
C. End the relationship.
D. Give one another permission to play with others.
I was not willing to cheat. I did not want to give up sex. I did not want to end my relationship, because I love my partner. So I proposed an open relationship. WE talked about it for months and my partner agreed.
As I said in another post it has created a new set of problems, but I would have definitely left the relationship if this had not worked out.
I will speculate that there is some difference in Ryan's situation and mine, in that it seems like his relationship is fairly new. (Am I wrong about this?) I think it would be more difficult to make an open relationship work if you start that way.
Nevertheless, I'm impressed with his decision. Most guys in their 20s I know still are understandably very much under the spell of romantic love's idealization of monogamy. The idea of an open relationship doesn't usually become viable until a person has been in a few relationships of years duration and discovers how parenthetical sexual monogamy is to the bond between two people. I can't imagine leaving my 10 year relationship because I found someone sexy, so jealousy is not an issue between us.
I think the number of people, heterosexuals included, who practice a don't ask/don't tell ethic around outside sex is grossly underestimated.
HappyScrappy
New member
musclebrains said:
man, I need more sleep - I thought that ended in "cheerleading" and I had all of these strange visions of MB and was puzzled yet fascinated, until I reread the sentence.
But isn't an open relationship the same as cheating? True that is not a secret, but it is like an acknowledged infraction.
Now if you are sleeping with others to fulfill a need, then you have to ask yourself what needs you are fulfilling of your partners. And if he is sleeping around too, then what needs of each other are you filling? Which goes back to the reference that I made of an open relationship is a relationship of best friends, not partners. You can love some dearly with all your heart, but loving someone and being IN love with someone is two different things.
Which granted as you said, passion cools for some, but after over 4 years with my ex in Atlanta, the passion was still red hot and out of control. We could not keep from having sex 2-3 times a day. Unfortunately, this "devotion" and energy could not equate into anything else of substance in other aspects of our relationship. It seems that we both were being held prisoner by lust. At times I hated that the sex was so good simply because it delayed the inevitable. It is necessary to have a healthy dose of lust to keep the relationship going and emotionally intertwined, but too much lust for one another allows poisons like insecurities, doubts, etc.. to filter in.
Now if you are sleeping with others to fulfill a need, then you have to ask yourself what needs you are fulfilling of your partners. And if he is sleeping around too, then what needs of each other are you filling? Which goes back to the reference that I made of an open relationship is a relationship of best friends, not partners. You can love some dearly with all your heart, but loving someone and being IN love with someone is two different things.
Which granted as you said, passion cools for some, but after over 4 years with my ex in Atlanta, the passion was still red hot and out of control. We could not keep from having sex 2-3 times a day. Unfortunately, this "devotion" and energy could not equate into anything else of substance in other aspects of our relationship. It seems that we both were being held prisoner by lust. At times I hated that the sex was so good simply because it delayed the inevitable. It is necessary to have a healthy dose of lust to keep the relationship going and emotionally intertwined, but too much lust for one another allows poisons like insecurities, doubts, etc.. to filter in.
musclebrains
New member
RyanH said:
I've only "done it all" because I'm older than Wodin and came out during that period when a radical sexual life was considered a political statement.
I think the feeling you had with the couple is very common. Hell, I even get that feeling in a one-night threeway. As a matter of fact I had it night before last.
There are worse feelings than being someone's sexual medicine, though I'd not like it for more than a night.My best friend in SF and his lover, both in their late 40s, have a "third" in their 20s and the latter has confided the same feelings to me, but he certainly benefits from the relationship in all kinds of ways. Intergenerational relationships in which there is a mentoring aspect are common in gay life. But then your avatar suggests you already know that.
musclebrains
New member
HappyScrappy said:
boom chakalaka boom chakalaka
polish my woodie
It ain't no mahogany.
RyanH
New member
I've been in a relationship for 3 years, with about 7 or 8 instances of separating for a period of months.
2 years into the relationship, after once reconciling, we decided to open our relationship, and now I think we both feed off of it. I dated a 35-year old from the age of 20 until about 23, and we were monogamous....I was miserable, and he was unhappy as well. (I also became too old for him after I graduated from college, so he now dates a 21 year old.)
So I learned a lesson early on: being sexually satisfied and being monogamous (for me) is simply not possible. However, as Anal pointed out, I often wonder if there is a point to being in a relationship at all, if you continously keep the bed warm for others.
2 years into the relationship, after once reconciling, we decided to open our relationship, and now I think we both feed off of it. I dated a 35-year old from the age of 20 until about 23, and we were monogamous....I was miserable, and he was unhappy as well. (I also became too old for him after I graduated from college, so he now dates a 21 year old.)
So I learned a lesson early on: being sexually satisfied and being monogamous (for me) is simply not possible. However, as Anal pointed out, I often wonder if there is a point to being in a relationship at all, if you continously keep the bed warm for others.
GinNJuice said:
That could possibly be one of the most ignorant fucking things I've ever read on here. Please face facts, not ALL "lapses in judgement" kill... Though it MAY be true that homosexual males run a greater risk of transmitting HIV to each other because of the ease of transmission through tears in the skin inside the anus, IF they are actually having intercourse with that person, let's not pretend that heterosexual males that run around and fuck like rabbits and don't use protection are too much less at risk. Comparing someone to a "mass murderer" because they CHOOSE (and let's not forget it takes 2 to make that choice) to have unprotected sex, is simply ridiculous.
Again, it doesn't have as much to do with a gay man's lifestyle as we heteros like to sometimes think. :::NEWS FLASH::: Heterosexual people can get HIV too!!! I know this may come as a shock to you, but it can and does happen. The bottom line is this, we ALL (gay or straight) should be sensible and use protection, but we don't always for whatever reason, and when you don't, you run that risk, gay or straight. And unless you're confirmed as the ONLY person in the world that has NEVER had unprotected sex except with your partner who has also NEVER had unprotected sex, you should definitely not throw that stone, because if you HAVE had unprotected sex with multiple partners (more than one), YOU TOOK A RISK TOO!!! To think that HIV is a "gay man's disease" is stupid AT BEST!!! do some research bro....
musclebrains
New member
'Anal AssPlorer said:
Equally true. I stayed in a horrible relationship for years because the guy was so fucking hot. In that case the sex still performs the same function that compulsive sex with outside others does: It keeps you from addressing the underlying problems in the relationship.
But, no, I don't see how an agreement to permit sexual play with others can be called an infraction. Polyamorous relationships are not inherently pathological though I do think it's naive to say they don't create their own unique problems.
musclebrains
New member
RyanH said:
WORD
RyanH
New member
me and my boyfriend promised one another we would make it through last weekend, without fucking someone else.
Outcome: Saturday night, he had his dick in an ass, and I, well I reacted by getting a new york piece of action. New Yorkers do it best, always have, always will....heh, heh.
Outcome: Saturday night, he had his dick in an ass, and I, well I reacted by getting a new york piece of action. New Yorkers do it best, always have, always will....heh, heh.
GinNJuice said:
it took me so long to type my post that I missed your second post that clarified what you were talking about... I'm a shitty typist.
However, before you posted clarifying what you were talking about, I wasn't the only one who misconstrued it. It certianly appeared that you were talking about the gay lifestyle...
I also still think that the comparison to mass murderers was wayyyy over the top, but mow that you say you were joking and just trying to get a "rise" out of him, then of course it's understood...
musclebrains
New member
RyanH said:
That's the common test when you begin questioning the effects of opening a relationship -- to re-close it and see if you can tolerate one another.
My bf and I have pretty strong rules around this. I would never leave the house at night, for example, when we're both here for a "date" with someone else. It only occurs when it's convenient. OF course, being self-employed at home, it's awfully convenient.
RyanH
New member
My boyfriend is from Argentina. I have never dated a guy with the sex drive he has. The down side, is that he has NEVER been satisfied topping just one guy.
I love all my latin friends, but if I ever break-up with my current boyfriend, I will never date another latin man ever ever again.
I love all my latin friends, but if I ever break-up with my current boyfriend, I will never date another latin man ever ever again.
musclebrains
New member
RyanH said:
WORD again. My wife was Cuban and so was one of my boyfriends.
I don't know the Argentines, but most Latinos I've "known" are incredibly jealous -- and that often wars with a Don Juan complex. NO wonder they have such an elaborated culture of don't ask/don't tell in the matter of fidelity.
RyanH said:
You just haven't met the right person you want to be monogamous for. Trust me, you will eventually and whether you can fool yourself into thinking you have "matured" or "grown bored with casual sex" or "just ready to settle down" it not a point. The simple answer is that the right guy has presented himself to you to subconsciously make you question yourself.
It will happen. I know many many couples in LTR over 20 years and they are completely monogamous.
RyanH
New member
musclebrains said:
Jealousy is the hallmark of my latin boyfriend. However, he has absolutely no problem fucking any hot muscular blond, but when after I've had a tryst, he questions me for hours on whether or not he really satisfied me the way he does. One day at the gym, he had an almost violent encounter with a guy that had been interested in me for some time.....I was speechless and embarrassed.
I told him last night that the guy I had sex with this weekend took me places both sexually and intellectually I had never been before. My bf thinks that because he grew up in Buenos Aires, he is a step above the rest. I remind him that he isn't. Humility is often necessary for everyone.
musclebrains
New member
Anal AssPlorer said:
In my bisexual phase, people used to tell me I hadn't met the right woman to convince me to make a purely heterosexual choice.
SEveral studies have demonstrated that the ONLY thing long term gay relationships tend to have in common is a willingness to tolerate outside sex. I don't question your own experience but the people I know in long relationships usually have don't ask/don't tell agreements. Some of them are incredibly weird -- like you can have sex with another man while out of the country, etc. Most of us in open relationships do not talk openly about them because we are seen as bad role models by good queers.
musclebrains
New member
RyanH said:
LOL...YOure describing my life with Jesus, whom I called El Divino. One day at our gym, he started screaming at me that I was "leading some guy on." I didn't know what the fuck he was talking about. Apparently some guy was following me around and watching me. I'm clueless when that happens.
Did you see "Y tu mama tambien?" There are hilarious and all too familiar scenes in which the boys fall into detail-obsessed, jealous grilling of one another's sex with each other's girlfriends.
It does sound like you're engaged in some rationalization. The guy's a jealous Don Juan and the easiest way to accommodate him is through an open relationship. But you don't seem to have any rules. I mean, I would NEVER talk to my partner about my outside sexploits and I don't want to hear his. The fact that we play, doesn't mean we are completely immune to feeling insecure, somewhat jealous,e tc.
musclebrains
New member
RyanH said:
YOu might also look up Carlos Saura's "Tango," if you haven't seen it. It's a good picture of the ARgentine attitude toward love and sex -- probably consistent with your notion that the drama is arousing.
W
Warik
Guest
Monogamy > Polygamy.
L.T.R. > C.S.R.
Therefore,
Monogamous L.T.R. > Polygamous C.S.R.
-Warik
L.T.R. > C.S.R.
Therefore,
Monogamous L.T.R. > Polygamous C.S.R.
-Warik
Mr. Muscle (and perhaps Casavant?)....
There are many people who practice polygamy, and they don't see it as being unnatural or disturbing... it is a part of many cultures... Many of the african tribes are polygamous (granted that there are greater instances of 1 husband many wives than 1 wife many husbands but..), and it is also a part of the Muslim faith... All the muslim countries allow polygamy, and there certainly are many of them. Of course they stipulate that you can only marry with another person if you can love all your wives equally... And many people do stick with 1 wife because they are not confident that they can love their wives in the same fashion...
But the inability for one not being able to love more than one person (romantically that is) does not mean there aren't others who can't....
There are many people who practice polygamy, and they don't see it as being unnatural or disturbing... it is a part of many cultures... Many of the african tribes are polygamous (granted that there are greater instances of 1 husband many wives than 1 wife many husbands but..), and it is also a part of the Muslim faith... All the muslim countries allow polygamy, and there certainly are many of them. Of course they stipulate that you can only marry with another person if you can love all your wives equally... And many people do stick with 1 wife because they are not confident that they can love their wives in the same fashion...
But the inability for one not being able to love more than one person (romantically that is) does not mean there aren't others who can't....
casavant
New member
Blue Sky said:
I agree with this 100%. There's a certain way I feel about things as they apply to me and my relationships, but I don't give a rat's patootie what kind of life other people choose to lead as long as they're not hurting anybody. That would be a lot of wasted emotion on my part. I'm not the type to get up on a moral or religious soapbox and go on a rant. No argument here.
musclebrains
New member
Not really. We're talking about one aspect of their culture -- the sexual one. That's no more a "blanket statment" than saying most Americans favor monogamy.
That's quite different from generalizing a group's overall value on the basis of a single characteristic.
That's quite different from generalizing a group's overall value on the basis of a single characteristic.
casavant
New member
musclebrains said:
Sex drive is as much physiological as cultural. And not all latinos act the same, I'm sure, even if they are from the same culture, but RyanH seems to be implying that. C'mon, man, you know this.
LMAO. You also know that I'm typing all this with a smile, I hope. I am not a RyanHater.
RyanH
New member
runner said:
I've dated three latin men, they left me the most teary-eyed. Do I believe that a few latin men accurately reflect the entire group? Of course not. Do I believe that it's acceptable to expand your dating horizons and pursue other alternatives? Absolutely.
***but come close, lean your ear this way****
A Brazilian guy just moved into my building, I told him I'd be more than happy to show him around town. So you see, my faith in love can be always be restored.
musclebrains
New member
Oh no. The Brazilians are the worst of all.
GinNJuice
New member
casavant said:
Why not?
He's EF's guy that you love to hate
A la J.R. Ewing
Image: http://www.jrewing.com/jrstar1.jpg
It's fun picking out all the hypocrisy in each of his posts (though it's not much of a challenge anymore
)
RyanH
New member
runner said:
You've said before that you prefer Asian men, if I remember correctly. Does that mean by negative implication that you think other men of different races are inferior? Surely not.
preferences are very different than generalizing an entire group. And yes, again, the latin men I have dated have been the most JEALOUS of all my boyfriends....Does that mean all latin men are jealous? Absolutely not. But my track record at choosing the many latin men who aren't extremely jealous is very poor. Therefore, because my selection skills are poor, I'll likely try a different gene pool next time.
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gymtime
New member
musclebrains said:
Many would argue that monogamy is anything but parenthetical to a serious relationship, gay or straight. Personally, I just don't know. I tend to lean toward the idea that two people, and moreso two men, can have a solid, meaningful bond/relationship without complete monogamy. But then again, does that just come out of my inate desire to have my cake and eat it too?
I ain't no Latin Hater, but it seems to me they are all insecure and jealous and the biggest liars to boot. I have never dated one, nor cared to, but a few of my friends have and they all claim to be attorneys, med students, investment brokers, etc.. but in reality, they are waiting tables down in South Beach hoping International Male hires them.
musclebrains
New member
Latinos are quite fetishized in gay life these days. I wonder why.
W
Warik
Guest
RyanH said:
This brings back memories. Remember that thread when you asked me if I would date an African-American man?
That was quite humorous.
-Warik
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