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I'm very sad tonight :(

swole

swole

Well-known member
Does anyone here feel they push people away on purpose or not?

Tonight I feel like I had nobody. There has been so much shit going on with me lately and it was all very hard to deal with tonight. It's nothing serious like an illness, but it's emotionally taxing. I had two big signs today like someone was trying to tell me something.

I had a phone discussion with a girl that left me in tears. Made me feel like everything I did in the past was wrong and that I have nobody. She didn't even say anything bad - it's just that letting this one go was a big regret I had because it was out of selfish, insecure reasons.

So 30 minutes later after feeling like shit, crying, throwing rage fits, I get a call from one person who NEVER calls me at night, ever. It was the only person I knew would understand my pain but I couldn't call because she's married. But out of the blue, she called me and I was able to get some stuff off my chest. That was unbelievable to me.

I still feel terrible and this is going to take quite some time to fix. I need to keep pushing forward. BAH - I wish I was a cold prick. Sometimes I wish I didn't want the things I do. I wish I could just wake the fuck up :(

If only I could type everything that's happened to me in terms of girls over the last 3 months - you couldn't write better scripts in soap operas.

I'm just asking you peeps to tell me how you push forward when you're sad about a girl?

How do you do it? Like, the deep, deep sad kind.
 
I want to cry now too. Heartache sucks.

I don't have the answers you seek and don't want to cheapen your feelings by saying some cliche' crap.
 
Bro, I don't think there's a good answer for this. Time will heel your pain. Nothing any one can say to make the pain go away. Sucks, but you'll get through it. We are here for ya.
 
bw1 said:
Bro, I don't think there's a good answer for this. Time will heel your pain. Nothing any one can say to make the pain go away. Sucks, but you'll get through it. We are here for ya.
Click to expand...

^^^All that, plus I think it's good for you to feel sad/feel the pain. I know it sounds fucked up, but in a way, it enlightens you as to how deep of a person you really are. Plus, if we didnt have shitty days, we wouldnt know how truely wonderful the good ones are. You'll learn shit from all this that you could never have learned otherwise, and in the future, you'll be able to use this in order to make yourself and probably someone else, even more happy than you could have ever imagined.

Bottomline: You'll get through it even if it seems impossible right now.
 
swole said:
Does anyone here feel they push people away on purpose or not?

Tonight I feel like I had nobody. There has been so much shit going on with me lately and it was all very hard to deal with tonight. It's nothing serious like an illness, but it's emotionally taxing. I had two big signs today like someone was trying to tell me something.

I had a phone discussion with a girl that left me in tears. Made me feel like everything I did in the past was wrong and that I have nobody. She didn't even say anything bad - it's just that letting this one go was a big regret I had because it was out of selfish, insecure reasons.

So 30 minutes later after feeling like shit, crying, throwing rage fits, I get a call from one person who NEVER calls me at night, ever. It was the only person I knew would understand my pain but I couldn't call because she's married. But out of the blue, she called me and I was able to get some stuff off my chest. That was unbelievable to me.

I still feel terrible and this is going to take quite some time to fix. I need to keep pushing forward. BAH - I wish I was a cold prick. Sometimes I wish I didn't want the things I do. I wish I could just wake the fuck up :(

If only I could type everything that's happened to me in terms of girls over the last 3 months - you couldn't write better scripts in soap operas.

I'm just asking you peeps to tell me how you push forward when you're sad about a girl?

How do you do it? Like, the deep, deep sad kind.
Click to expand...


this is so incredibly vague dude. i really have no clue what you're talking about
talk to a nigga
 
but i certainly push people away.

i don't know why. i just do. its like i self sabotage myself on purpose (sometimes because i dont want to be around someone anymore or i have 2nd thoughts about that person) or i don't feel right about something. i dunno, but it happens kinda frequently
 
I believe in the matters of the heart, someone has always said it best, so I will quote a man with a tongue so eloquent and the wisdom to believe that love comes again.

"I thought when love for you died, I should die.
It's dead. Alone, most strangely, I live on."

You see, friend, though it may seem like the world is coming to an end, though it may feel like the summers are magically transforming into winters, and the sun is sinking into a deep slumber, arise from your retched sadness and hear the alcatraz: broken hearts heal. It might take time, as do all things of importance to us, but a broken heart will heal. You will fall in love again and again and again, until you find that magical moment were you world is turned upside down and you find that one, that special person you want to spend the rest of your life and grow old with. I don't know when this will happen. All I can tell you is that it is as certain as the sun rises in the morning and sinks into its deep sleep at night. Human nature seeks love like bees to honey. Your heart will find love again, and you will soon forget.

I'll end this with another quote from yet another wise heart:

"Count the garden by the flowers, never by the leaves that fall. Count your life with smiles and not the tears that roll. "
 
Yes I push everyone away but I never harm anyone I feel the need to spare people from ME

I feel like I am a monster that is strong but not worthy to be friends with anyone


Do as I try and Remember this time your going through and DONT REPEAT anything on your side of the fence that you can control, be good, do no harm, stand upright, be YOU but the Sincere you
 
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i feel u bro, i do it to the people im closest to, and it only has made things worse.

the one thing that kept my head up after i pushed my girl of 4 years away, leaving me a few months back was my friends. not just the boys, but my true friends that i could open up to and feel vulnerable with. keep them close bro, no matter how shitty and lonely u feel, remember those are the people that truly care for u.

its hard, and it will continue to be hard for awhile. keep this in mind, if things were truly meant to be, things will always work out in the end. if not, live and learn from it, and make yourself a better person from the experience.
 
There really is no "cure"all except Time,I can remember when I got divorced after a 10 year marriage I was so excited to get out of that relationship than one day the emptiness and lonliness just hit me like a ton of bricks while driving in the pouring down rain, I felt so alone and scared to be on my own again but all you can do is pick up the pieces and move forward because life stands still for no one my friend.Call your closest family member tomm I promise it will help
 
Eventually, after enough of these heartbreaks, you will become emotionally unavailable. It really is quite liberating once you understand what has happened and how to best handle it.
 
Everytime you think your life sucks go kiss a bottle of Primo, then think of the under privileged test users like myself. You will feel better in no time!
 
all part of life, living, and learning bro. hang in there, its generally more good than bad.
 
You have heard all the deep answers now here's mine...

You get over the last one with the next one!!!
 
swole said:
Does anyone here feel they push people away on purpose or not?

Tonight I feel like I had nobody. There has been so much shit going on with me lately and it was all very hard to deal with tonight. It's nothing serious like an illness, but it's emotionally taxing. I had two big signs today like someone was trying to tell me something.

I had a phone discussion with a girl that left me in tears. Made me feel like everything I did in the past was wrong and that I have nobody. She didn't even say anything bad - it's just that letting this one go was a big regret I had because it was out of selfish, insecure reasons.

So 30 minutes later after feeling like shit, crying, throwing rage fits, I get a call from one person who NEVER calls me at night, ever. It was the only person I knew would understand my pain but I couldn't call because she's married. But out of the blue, she called me and I was able to get some stuff off my chest. That was unbelievable to me.

I still feel terrible and this is going to take quite some time to fix. I need to keep pushing forward. BAH - I wish I was a cold prick. Sometimes I wish I didn't want the things I do. I wish I could just wake the fuck up :(

If only I could type everything that's happened to me in terms of girls over the last 3 months - you couldn't write better scripts in soap operas.

I'm just asking you peeps to tell me how you push forward when you're sad about a girl?

How do you do it? Like, the deep, deep sad kind.
Click to expand...

i'm sorry swole.
you can't change the past, you can only learn from it.
be happy that you've learned- now you can start acting on it.
 
ceo said:
Eventually, after enough of these heartbreaks, you will become emotionally unavailable. It really is quite liberating once you understand what has happened and how to best handle it.
Click to expand...

Problem with being emotionally unavailable (yea, spent many years like that m'self after I kicked my ex out) is that you attract those that are emotionally unavailable as well... you eventually try to open up and BECOME available, however, you picked the wrong person... and you are hurt. Cycle repeats and eventually you are alone even if you are in a relationship.

My Old Grump could write volumes about it as I am his SIXTH wife. We've had some very tough times and even when I have shut down (to protect myself) he still remains invested. I don't know how or why to be honest. I suppose you could PM him about it.

He went through his entire adult life being emotionally unavailable. Why he chose ME NOW ..... I couldn't tell you. But I don't suppose that you would want to wait 55 years to find someone who is as loving and committed as you can be. Would you?
 
ask yourself what any sad and brokenhearted Yankee fan would do

"What would Joba do?"
 
swole said:
Does anyone here feel they push people away on purpose or not?

Tonight I feel like I had nobody. There has been so much shit going on with me lately and it was all very hard to deal with tonight. It's nothing serious like an illness, but it's emotionally taxing. I had two big signs today like someone was trying to tell me something.

I had a phone discussion with a girl that left me in tears. Made me feel like everything I did in the past was wrong and that I have nobody. She didn't even say anything bad - it's just that letting this one go was a big regret I had because it was out of selfish, insecure reasons.

So 30 minutes later after feeling like shit, crying, throwing rage fits, I get a call from one person who NEVER calls me at night, ever. It was the only person I knew would understand my pain but I couldn't call because she's married. But out of the blue, she called me and I was able to get some stuff off my chest. That was unbelievable to me.

I still feel terrible and this is going to take quite some time to fix. I need to keep pushing forward. BAH - I wish I was a cold prick. Sometimes I wish I didn't want the things I do. I wish I could just wake the fuck up :(

If only I could type everything that's happened to me in terms of girls over the last 3 months - you couldn't write better scripts in soap operas.

I'm just asking you peeps to tell me how you push forward when you're sad about a girl?

How do you do it? Like, the deep, deep sad kind.
Click to expand...


Everyone has different ways of dealing with it. You'll only know yours slowly more and more through experience. You learn every day bro and adjust accordingly.
 
I keep questioning my break-up with my EX, whether I did the right thing or not.
I feel I did but i still love her right now so I'm not happy with just knowing that.
I dwell on this shit way too much and it seems to put me in a funk for a few minutes everyday, but life is still good and I like having more freedom.
 
chris302001 said:
^^^All that, plus I think it's good for you to feel sad/feel the pain. I know it sounds fucked up, but in a way, it enlightens you as to how deep of a person you really are. Plus, if we didnt have shitty days, we wouldnt know how truely wonderful the good ones are. You'll learn shit from all this that you could never have learned otherwise, and in the future, you'll be able to use this in order to make yourself and probably someone else, even more happy than you could have ever imagined.

Bottomline: You'll get through it even if it seems impossible right now.
Click to expand...


I second this advice.
Pain brings you to a level you can't get by just being cold. All good things involve some pain
 
Personally, I fantasize about killing myself as I fall asleep.

Usually involves a shotgun either to the chest or back of the head.

Seems to work for me so far.
 
I'm going to quote some Garth Brooks songs here..

I burned my hand, I cut my face
Heaven knows how long it’s been
Since I’ve felt so out of place
I’m wonderin’ if I’ll fit in.

Debbie and charley said they’d be here by nine
And deb said she might bring a friend
Just my luck, they’re right on time
So here I go again.

I’m gonna smile my best smile
And I’m gonna laugh like it’s going out of style
Look into her eyes and pray that she don’t see
That learning to live again is killing me.

Little cafe, table for four
But there’s just conversation for three
I like the way she let me get the door
I wonder what she thinks of me.

Debbie just whispered, "you’re doin’ fine"
And I wish that I felt the same
She’s asked me to dance, now her hand’s in mine
Oh, my god, I’ve forgotten her name.

But I’m gonna smile my best smile
And I’m gonna laugh like it’s going out of style
Look into her eyes and pray that she don’t see
That learning to live again is killing me.

Now here we are beneath her porch light
And I say what a great time it’s been
A kiss on the cheek, a whisper goodnight
And I say, "can I see you again".

And she just smiles her best smile
And she laughs like it’s going out of style
Looks into my eyes and says, "we’ll see"
Oh this learning to live again is killing me​
Click to expand...



Last time I saw her it was turnin' colder
But that was years ago
Last I heard she had moved to Boulder
But where she's now I don't know
But there's somethin' 'bout this time of year
That spins my head around
Takes me back makes me wonder
What she's doin' now

'Cause what she's doin' now is tearin' me apart
Fillin' up my mind and emptyin' my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doin' now

Just for laughs I dialed her old number
But no one knew her name
Hung up the phone sat there and wondered
If she'd ever done the same
I took a walk in the evenin' wind
To clear my head somehow
But tonight I lie here thinkin'
What she doin' now

'Cause what she's doin' now is tearin' me apart
Fillin' up my mind and emptying my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows

What she's doin' now is tearin' me apart
Fillin' up my mind and emptying my heart
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doin' now
Click to expand...
 
swole said:
Does anyone here feel they push people away on purpose or not?

Tonight I feel like I had nobody. There has been so much shit going on with me lately and it was all very hard to deal with tonight. It's nothing serious like an illness, but it's emotionally taxing. I had two big signs today like someone was trying to tell me something.

I had a phone discussion with a girl that left me in tears. Made me feel like everything I did in the past was wrong and that I have nobody. She didn't even say anything bad - it's just that letting this one go was a big regret I had because it was out of selfish, insecure reasons.

So 30 minutes later after feeling like shit, crying, throwing rage fits, I get a call from one person who NEVER calls me at night, ever. It was the only person I knew would understand my pain but I couldn't call because she's married. But out of the blue, she called me and I was able to get some stuff off my chest. That was unbelievable to me.

I still feel terrible and this is going to take quite some time to fix. I need to keep pushing forward. BAH - I wish I was a cold prick. Sometimes I wish I didn't want the things I do. I wish I could just wake the fuck up :(

If only I could type everything that's happened to me in terms of girls over the last 3 months - you couldn't write better scripts in soap operas.

I'm just asking you peeps to tell me how you push forward when you're sad about a girl?

How do you do it? Like, the deep, deep sad kind.
Click to expand...

"Oh, look at me. I'm on clomid."
 
swole said:
Does anyone here feel they push people away on purpose or not?

Tonight I feel like I had nobody. There has been so much shit going on with me lately and it was all very hard to deal with tonight. It's nothing serious like an illness, but it's emotionally taxing. I had two big signs today like someone was trying to tell me something.

I had a phone discussion with a girl that left me in tears. Made me feel like everything I did in the past was wrong and that I have nobody. She didn't even say anything bad - it's just that letting this one go was a big regret I had because it was out of selfish, insecure reasons.

So 30 minutes later after feeling like shit, crying, throwing rage fits, I get a call from one person who NEVER calls me at night, ever. It was the only person I knew would understand my pain but I couldn't call because she's married. But out of the blue, she called me and I was able to get some stuff off my chest. That was unbelievable to me.

I still feel terrible and this is going to take quite some time to fix. I need to keep pushing forward. BAH - I wish I was a cold prick. Sometimes I wish I didn't want the things I do. I wish I could just wake the fuck up :(

If only I could type everything that's happened to me in terms of girls over the last 3 months - you couldn't write better scripts in soap operas.

I'm just asking you peeps to tell me how you push forward when you're sad about a girl?

How do you do it? Like, the deep, deep sad kind.
Click to expand...

You just keep going throught the same shit. Then, as you get older you realize none of those girls were as "special" as you thought. And, you just don't care anymore.

You can actually look at women objectively. And, not be blinded by pussy.
 
Smurfy said:
ATW was right even though he deleted his post.
Click to expand...

Thanks.

I posted it again. I just wanted to make fun of the juicer first.
 
ceo said:
Eventually, after enough of these heartbreaks, you will become emotionally unavailable. It really is quite liberating once you understand what has happened and how to best handle it.
Click to expand...

Right again Brian! :beer:
 
Smurfy said:
ATW that finally came out right, nice job
Click to expand...

That's what she said.
 
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Reactions: ceo
all the whey said:
Right again Brian! :beer:
Click to expand...

I wish Brian would chime in on this!!!! No one is better at being emotionally unavailable then he is!!!!1
 
ceo said:
I wish Brian would chime in on this!!!! No one is better at being emotionally unavailable then he is!!!!1
Click to expand...

I am constantly striving to be emotionally unavailable as Brian is.
 
all the whey said:
I am constantly striving to be emotionally unavailable as Brian is.
Click to expand...

Maybe we haven't banged enough single moms yet?
 
I'm going through the same kind of shit... I cry, drink, and have sex a lot.
 
RachelEFC said:
I'm going through the same kind of shit... I cry, drink, and have sex a lot.
Click to expand...

I love banging chicks while they are crying!
 
thank you guys for the kind words, PM's and karma notes.

all appreciated and taken to heart - some genuinely good people on EF.

today was a little better, i sorted some stuff out within my own mind, had a nice chat with the closest friend i have (my roomie), spent a lot of time with the family, and finally realizing that in some situations, you have to be willing to lose the very thing you want for it to work out
 
You must spread some Karma around before giving it to swole again.
 
swole said:
thank you guys for the kind words, PM's and karma notes.

all appreciated and taken to heart - some genuinely good people on EF.

today was a little better, i sorted some stuff out within my own mind, had a nice chat with the closest friend i have (my roomie), spent a lot of time with the family, and finally realizing that in some situations, you have to be willing to lose the very thing you want for it to work out
Click to expand...

hope you continue to gain perspective on the issue.. and it's ok to let yourself "mourn"..

everyone that comes into our lives is sent for a reason.. if you couldn't be with the girl.. make sure you learn the lesson the universe meant to teach you through this experience..
 
blueta2 said:
I second this advice.
Pain brings you to a level you can't get by just being cold. All good things involve some pain
Click to expand...
I haven't read this entire thread, but its my opinion that you gotta fight the urge to conquer the pain through getting back with her. I know this is almost an impossibility, but instead of just being prey to that instinctual thought that tells you that getting her back will remedy the situation, those racing thoughts fueled by that innate drive to win her back is so hard to overcome, trust me I've learned this the hard way, I got dumped my last semester of my undergrad years and ended up joining the navy cause I felt I had no purpose without her.

Experience is a bitter teacher. Traz dropped this on me
by 3 methods may we learn wisdom First by reflection which is noblest, second by imitation which is easiest, third by experience which is bitterest.

This is the hardest thing to do, cause its so anti western, so anti everything you have been taught... its not like pct, for tren, and just take dostinex to solve your problems, its not an accounting problem that has a mathematical solution...

IMHO, the best thing to do is notice the self contraction within you, instead of doing what you are instinctually driven to do through cultural conditioning, academic training, the innate we can solve anything type attitude, this is a type of pain that is not conquered through suppressing it or fighting it, is to surrender to it.

This is a practice of self enquiry, sit down in a comfortable spot and take deep relaxing breaths and just notice how you feel, where does it hurt, be aware of the racing thoughts that are cloaked with emotionality of blame, anger, regret, and hope, don't criticize these thoughts or give them merit, just notice that they arise simultaneously with the pain... this type of self enquiry is frustrating and painful, but don't quit, keep going inward, surrender to the pain... is it a burning feeling surrounding your heart?
It is like deep tissue massage, every time they hit a painful spot in which you are holding tension, the first thing to do is clench up and fight it, this numbs the pain, but it eliminates the therapeutic process of releasing tension and cortisol levels in the body, same principle here, realize the self contraction that is going on by going inward, and surrendering to the pain. It is way easier said then done, but by going inward, your intuition expands outward. There is a tremedous healing process that naturally takes place, and by avoiding the self contraction of numbing the pain, your intuition will guide to the specific direction that is best for you.
I only hope to here more from ya bro...
 
ok it's a long one so take a breath :)

so last night i watched swingers, and realized i'm mikey

lollolol

i just need to relax, i get so focused on what i want sometimes i rush to make it happen instead of taking it slowly and being patient

weird because i'm the opposite when it comes to my physical development

i just need to be a fun person again, to give people space when they need it, not to be smothering, to be there when they truly need me, to continue growing emotionally, physically and mentally, to smile, enjoy simple conversation again, and not to have hidden agendas

it's a test, a lesson learned, to realize how delicate human nature is and that sometimes, we really have no control beyond a certain point

yes it was about a girl i left two years ago, a mistake immediately regretted but swept under the rug, then when the dust settled two years later (3 weeks ago) i tried to make it happen again - not for lack of options, or because i was lonely, but rather I feel I "woke" up and realized i could make HER happy and she is exactly what i wanted

but instead of just being me and letting her make the decision i forced the issue and treated it as a competition (she is talking to someone else), it wasn't out of the blue, we always kept contact and she actually approached me first, but i kept pushing

instead of seeing an opportunity and forcing myself in last night i accepted her plea - she said she can't do this right now and it would be too much for her emotionally to jump back in right away

i respect it because i really hurt her, and i will back off, do my own thing, give her space, keep in touch, and will not hint about wanting anything more than being a friend...she did make it clear that she wants to talk still...but i can't take it to that level or even make her feel like i am

there was nothing about her that i hated, i loved her, i left her (out of the fuckin blue) at a time when i was confused and hurt by other things going on in my life, i was very insecure and the depth of our relationship scared me, made me feel vulnerable

ok i'm a bitch, but today was awesome - i am going to my haven right now - the gym

maybe jaime koeppe is there and wants to sit on my face

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w198/tnagger/Jaime-Koeppe-0002.jpg
 
swole said:
ok it's a long one so take a breath :)

so last night i watched swingers, and realized i'm mikey

lollolol

i just need to relax, i get so focused on what i want sometimes i rush to make it happen instead of taking it slowly and being patient

weird because i'm the opposite when it comes to my physical development

i just need to be a fun person again, to give people space when they need it, not to be smothering, to be there when they truly need me, to continue growing emotionally, physically and mentally, to smile, enjoy simple conversation again, and not to have hidden agendas

it's a test, a lesson learned, to realize how delicate human nature is and that sometimes, we really have no control beyond a certain point

yes it was about a girl i left two years ago, a mistake immediately regretted but swept under the rug, then when the dust settled two years later (3 weeks ago) i tried to make it happen again - not for lack of options, or because i was lonely, but rather I feel I "woke" up and realized i could make HER happy and she is exactly what i wanted

but instead of just being me and letting her make the decision i forced the issue and treated it as a competition (she is talking to someone else), it wasn't out of the blue, we always kept contact and she actually approached me first, but i kept pushing

instead of seeing an opportunity and forcing myself in last night i accepted her plea - she said she can't do this right now and it would be too much for her emotionally to jump back in right away

i respect it because i really hurt her, and i will back off, do my own thing, give her space, keep in touch, and will not hint about wanting anything more than being a friend...she did make it clear that she wants to talk still...but i can't take it to that level or even make her feel like i am

there was nothing about her that i hated, i loved her, i left her (out of the fuckin blue) at a time when i was confused and hurt by other things going on in my life, i was very insecure and the depth of our relationship scared me, made me feel vulnerable

ok i'm a bitch, but today was awesome - i am going to my haven right now - the gym

maybe jaime koeppe is there and wants to sit on my face

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w198/tnagger/Jaime-Koeppe-0002.jpg
Click to expand...

You are not a bitch! It is cool when guys can be open about their feelings.
 
silverstar1025 said:
You are not a bitch! It is cool when guys can be open about their feelings.
Click to expand...

i think i have a good balance

i don't pour myself onto girls, healother style

but when i feel strongly about something or someone, they know

the last thing i am is clingy, pathetic, etc...but i don't like to play games

i don't require a lot of your time either, go out, have fun, but make sure you let me know that pussy is mine

and if i love you and you love me, that your heart is mine.
 
swole said:
i think i have a good balance

i don't pour myself onto girls, healother style

but when i feel strongly about something or someone, they know

the last thing i am is clingy, pathetic, etc...but i don't like to play games

i don't require a lot of your time either, go out, have fun, but make sure you let me know that pussy is mine

and if i love you and you love me, that your heart is mine.
Click to expand...

That is good! You are the way guys should be. No girls like their men to be pussies, but it is good to see their soft soft and feeling sometimes when it is necessary too. Most guys (like my hubby) bottle shit in and are too afraid to let people see them when they are feeling down. I guess they will feel like a pussy when they do? Who knows. I have seen my man cry once and even then he tried real hard to hide it. lol He tries very hard to hold his emotions in even after being with me for so long.

If your ex doesn't work out then I am sure another woman will come along and appreciate you. You learn from your mistakes so the next time you fall in love you will not do what you did with your ex or have any regrets :)
 
Ok, i get it now.

Bottomline is...once you make a mistake, you have to live with it. there's no patchwork or going back and saying you changed. that stuff never works or happens. Hopefully you learned your lesson and that's all you can do.

You can't control things outside of you. The more you realize that, the easier it is. in fact, it pushes people away when you do that.a lways

imho, i think you are being overemotional about this. i know you, and know how you are...but i don't think this should be affecting you in this way. i'm really surprised you'd put that much stock in 1 person that's been long gone

there are way too many wimminz out there to be caught up in the shoulda coulda woulda with 1 girl. you need something/one else to distract you now. get some positive experiences, meet some wimminz you normally wouldn't meet and you'll be alright again.

it was long ago and a different time in your life. you'll be ok

man up brosky (and you know i never say this, but its true in this case)

swole said:
ok it's a long one so take a breath :)

so last night i watched swingers, and realized i'm mikey

lollolol

i just need to relax, i get so focused on what i want sometimes i rush to make it happen instead of taking it slowly and being patient

weird because i'm the opposite when it comes to my physical development

i just need to be a fun person again, to give people space when they need it, not to be smothering, to be there when they truly need me, to continue growing emotionally, physically and mentally, to smile, enjoy simple conversation again, and not to have hidden agendas

it's a test, a lesson learned, to realize how delicate human nature is and that sometimes, we really have no control beyond a certain point

yes it was about a girl i left two years ago, a mistake immediately regretted but swept under the rug, then when the dust settled two years later (3 weeks ago) i tried to make it happen again - not for lack of options, or because i was lonely, but rather I feel I "woke" up and realized i could make HER happy and she is exactly what i wanted

but instead of just being me and letting her make the decision i forced the issue and treated it as a competition (she is talking to someone else), it wasn't out of the blue, we always kept contact and she actually approached me first, but i kept pushing

instead of seeing an opportunity and forcing myself in last night i accepted her plea - she said she can't do this right now and it would be too much for her emotionally to jump back in right away

i respect it because i really hurt her, and i will back off, do my own thing, give her space, keep in touch, and will not hint about wanting anything more than being a friend...she did make it clear that she wants to talk still...but i can't take it to that level or even make her feel like i am

there was nothing about her that i hated, i loved her, i left her (out of the fuckin blue) at a time when i was confused and hurt by other things going on in my life, i was very insecure and the depth of our relationship scared me, made me feel vulnerable

ok i'm a bitch, but today was awesome - i am going to my haven right now - the gym

maybe jaime koeppe is there and wants to sit on my face

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w198/tnagger/Jaime-Koeppe-0002.jpg
Click to expand...
 
Walk it off!!!!!!!!
 
Swole, what's up bro?

Here's what works for me.

I like to go and pound myself to dust in the gym. Then go out with friends and get a good sloppy mean drunk on. Then the next day go back to the gym and work off the frustration and hangover. After that I like to listen to some sad country music while sitting home alone usually in the dark. Then I basically file her in the "dead to me" section of my brain. Whole process usually takes about a week. Sometimes stuff seeps back up to the surface but I just beat it back down and go about my life.

I know this probably won't work for most people it's just the way I'm wired.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
calveless wonder said:
Ok, i get it now.

Bottomline is...once you make a mistake, you have to live with it. there's no patchwork or going back and saying you changed. that stuff never works or happens. Hopefully you learned your lesson and that's all you can do.

You can't control things outside of you. The more you realize that, the easier it is. in fact, it pushes people away when you do that.a lways

imho, i think you are being overemotional about this. i know you, and know how you are...but i don't think this should be affecting you in this way. i'm really surprised you'd put that much stock in 1 person that's been long gone

there are way too many wimminz out there to be caught up in the shoulda coulda woulda with 1 girl. you need something/one else to distract you now. get some positive experiences, meet some wimminz you normally wouldn't meet and you'll be alright again.

it was long ago and a different time in your life. you'll be ok

man up brosky (and you know i never say this, but its true in this case)
Click to expand...

lol i knew you'd type that shit!!! you're right though, and I'm on that path

i know it seems i'm being overemotional, i let things go through me quickly, i deal with it inside and out like it's concentrated as opposed to gradual and over time, then it phases out much faster compared to other peeps in the same situation

basically i spend a few days questioning, thinking, and focusing most of my attention to the issue, then learn and move on - all the while getting closer to myself and narrowing down what i really want going forward

there's something different here though, i can't put my finger on it just yet

i've been in this spot before - even i can recognize i'm being retarded, in fact i've sent you a PM in the past about an ex but why this situation seems so different i just don't know

time will tell, i'll definitely be keeping busy that's for sure
 
so this is all over a chick? You are still in your 20's right? How many tough breakups have you been though?

I was a total SWV over the girl I moved in with, I am sure you remember that. I can say pretty definitively that it will never happen again. That was an incredible growing experience, painful, but neccessary to get me to where I am today.
 
Lestat said:
so this is all over a chick? You are still in your 20's right? How many tough breakups have you been though?

I was a total SWV over the girl I moved in with, I am sure you remember that. I can say pretty definitively that it will never happen again. That was an incredible growing experience, painful, but neccessary to get me to where I am today.
Click to expand...

Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday. It was nearly impossible to open up EF and not see a thread or three about it. Good times, good times. :p
 
ceo said:
Ah, I remember it like it was yesterday. It was nearly impossible to open up EF and not see a thread or three about it. Good times, good times. :p
Click to expand...
I can remember it all but its hard to believe. Funny she's really interested in my life now and wants to know what is going on etc. and I have zero interest in her's.
 
Lestat said:
I can remember it all but its hard to believe. Funny she's really interested in my life now and wants to know what is going on etc. and I have zero interest in her's.
Click to expand...

Funny how things work out like that. Back then it was the end of the world. Now, it's just another memory of the decisions you made in life (not to trivialize what you had with her). Regardless of what happens, you're better off now Brian! :beer:
 
Good luck, wiminz probs suck. Just don't over think it, that's the worst.

Oh and BTW.... putzy :P
 
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