I would pay at least $1,000 to...

[KillahBee]

punch Paris Hilton right in the f-cking mouth. And not a little bitch punch either. I am talking about a wind-up, use your whole body, take all my built up sexual frustration and general everyday angst towards everyone other than me, healthy mother-fucking uppercut. Shatter that bitch's jaw.

 

[supersizeme]

you got problems

 

[FistingIvan]

bor u check ur prostate late?

 

[Raina]

I wish I had a grand to spend. Though I'd spend it on paying off my debt. I'm not particularly keen on Paris Hilton but I wouldn't waste money on breaking her jaw.

 

[breathinbleedout]

Not really, I was thinking of straight up raping her skinny, white, over tanned ass all the while her sister would be watching. I don't mean any pussy ass rape either, I mean dry fucking her till she can't walk straight, which she is unable to do if you watch her legs close enough.

 

[ohashi]

Dry fucking ain't cool if you got foreskin, man.

 

[chewyxrage]

how would dry fucking not let her walk straight?

would she get a rash from the crotch of your jeans?

 

[PoyeBoy]

lol, Nicole richie is worse, she did that fake crying thing I wish I had a hunting boomerang to practice throwing at her

 

[ohashi]

Speaking of dry-fucking, one time a couple of months ago, Margie was spending the night over at my place, and her mind was acting a bit faster than her body was reacting. She got on top, and though it was tighter and drier than usual going in, what did I care? When we were done, my dick was covered in blood - she wasn't lubed well enough and scraped herself raw, but she enjoyed it.
I got kinda freaked out, 'cause I at first thought it was her period (she wasn't due for another two weeks, was on the pill, and we didn't use condoms), and was about to run out and buy the morning after pill.

 

[breathinbleedout]

She won't be walking straight because right after I fucked her doggie style, I would stand up, make sure she is still in the doggie postion with her ass up in the air, then I would jump up then drop my knee right on her lower spine and butt crack area. All the while making a high pitched kung-fu noise.
Any other questions?

 

[ohashi]

Why the kung-fu noise?

 

[OMGWTFBBQ]

This thread is a little bit of magic.

If I thought $1000 would buy it, I'd gladly use that towards sex with Paris Hilton.

Just normal sex would be fine, and no punching.

That said, I'd love to have frying pan sex with any number of girls.

 

[ohashi]

Any number = 1?

 

[FistingIvan]

Deep Fry those Vertical Tacos

 

[tiger88]

coke and 2 hookers

 

[ohashi]

Last k-hit used.

 

[PoyeBoy]

SluttyMcHottFarts

 

[FistingIvan]

Pst Reply

 

[ohashi]

Quick reply.

 

[breathinbleedout]

I like to have my presence felt

 

[ohashi]

PC++.

 

[FistingIvan]

your moma felt my length!

 

[ohashi]

Two inches? I think she felt it real nice.

 

[FistingIvan]

i have use a thesaurus every time i try

 

[ohashi]

I use a whatchamacallit every time I try.

 

[FistingIvan]

with a cock ring?

 

[ohashi]

Two. Two cock rings.

 

[FistingIvan]

bor u out of u dman mind?

i need to go buy a stapler and really reconsider what i can figure out meanwhile

 

[ohashi]

I once put some grapes in my pocket, and the little shits totally burst on me.

 

[KillahBee]

pants.

loooooong pants.

 

[ohashi]

Long and shiny, that's the only way to go.

 

[FistingIvan]

must have monster cock to have long patns dont beat the dead horse borh

 

[ohashi]

Beating a dead horse is my favorite pre-bed activity. Please don't take that away from me.

 

[FistingIvan]

i like ot freeball and have long pants _ huge pockets with pocket pussy in one hand during walk + long winter coat = public jerk

 

[ohashi]

I like jerking off people in public too.

 

[FistingIvan]

especially on those dark cold weekend nights when u walk aroudn with your pussy ready to jerk on any given noteice

 

[ohashi]

Like, on the train? Fuck yeah.

 

[FistingIvan]

train and busses are incredible way to add much needed vibration to the jerk

 

[FistingIvan]

and you may always leave a voice message or check the sphinctor if he's ok

 

[ohashi]

I don't check. I just move on to the next homeless person.

 

[TC2]

Why the kung-fu noise?

Because it creates a surge of extra focused power and at the same time distracts your enemy, in this case Paris Hilton.




















and it sounds cool.

 

[FistingIvan]

way out of line

 

[ohashi]

Completely.

 

[FistingIvan]

t3c ?